Empty Suitcases

We only keep what we give away.
When a young mom gave birth to her first son, she received lots of presents from friends who knew she didn’t have anything for a boy.
One gift stood out, though. Rather than buy a gift, this friend, the mother of two older boys, went to her own sentimental box and gift-wrapped a Baby’s First Christmas bib and a beautiful piece of art from her own nursery.
A few months later, at the crack of dawn, the young mother received a phone call. The friend’s house had burned down in the night.
In the days that followed, it became clear that the only mementos her friend would be able to retrieve, like pictures of her children, were going to be the ones she had given away to grandparents and friends, including a bib and a piece of art from her own nursery.
I know this is a true story because my friend gave me the bib and the art when my son was born.
Recently, a lady told me a story about her husband, which illustrates the truth about hilarious giving.
This family makes regular trips to a beloved third world country, but on their first trip, they were overwhelmed by all the physical needs that go unmet daily in that place.
As they were packing to return home that first time, her husband suddenly flipped over his suitcase and dumped all the contents on the bed.
“We are giving this all away,” he announced with excitement.
Knowing how Americans travel, I can easily imagine a suitcase stuffed with blue jeans, t-shirts, button-downs, and several pairs of shoes, all things of extreme value in a country where people often go hungry and barefoot.
Having made many friends in the weeks they were there, they immediately found folks who received the goods joyously.
“Who wants this shirt? Who needs flip flops?”
Imagine the excitement as they tossed each item across a room crowded with folks who had gathered to see them off.
Her husband left with empty suitcases, but I bet his heart was full.
And imagine how he blessed his own wife and kiddoes.
We only keep what we give away.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Motivating Your Employees (Trustworthy Leadership), Part 2

Motivating your employees can be tough in a suppressed economy, especially when fear is the key economic ingredient from the purveyors of the national news.
So, how do you encourage confidence in your employees, rather than fear?
Folks are basically motivated by four things – stuff, security, significance, and, finally the biggie, a vision combined with a solid relationship with the one in authority. If you missed the first part of this three-part series, you can find it on this paper’s website.
The first three motivators are important and can make a good boss even more effective.
However, a terrific boss creates a vision and secures the trust of his employees.
How?
Creating a vision is simple. Figure out how you are serving your customers. Now put that into one sentence.
In a free market, if you serve people, success will follow. If your employees understand that they are offering something that is worthwhile, they will feel like their days at work are valuable.
Having a solid relationship with your employees can be a little more challenging.
One man I know told me that if people did not treat him right, he would teach them to respect him by force.
He had respect and fear confused.
You earn people’s trust, not by scaring them to death, by being trustworthy.
You earn their respect by being trustworthy for a long period of time.
So, how does trustworthy look?
The trustworthy person does what is hard and sacrificial.
The trustworthy person puts other people’s interests ahead of his own.
He tells the truth. If he doesn’t know how his business will survive in these uncertain times, he keeps his employees posted so they can make wise decisions.
He leads in giving them opportunities to help each other by setting an example when life throws out a curve ball like cancer or family crises.
He doesn’t treat them like dependant children, instead he rejoices at the opportunities they have to gain skills and knowledge.
Most importantly, his employees know that there are certain lines he won’t cross.
Leadership just means creating opportunities for employees to follow their heart.
Serving others, both customers and employees, is the hallmark of successful business owners.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com

The Television Set

Who uses the phrase “television set” anymore?
“Do you know what a television set is,” I asked my twenty-something daughter as I paused my typing in midsentence.
If you know what a television set is, you are probably an old person like me.
I am picturing a set of televisions, like a set of flatware.
Oh yeah, young people may not know what flatware is either.
So why did my family always say television set?
Was it because in the old days the television came with a set of speakers?
Nah. I remember our first television set. It was not that fancy.
A small 12-inch screen, encased in a sturdy cream-colored plastic box with rounded corners, it was the height of space-aged technology to us.
We were amazed it had pictures, albeit black and white ones.
“How did they get into the box all the way from Hollywood?” we asked my dad.
Dad proceeded to explain something I still to this day don’t get: air waves.
In the 60s, the first TVs all came with their own little spindly-legged stand made of chromed metal and some antennae-like things that were attached with wires. And covered with aluminum foil. The stand was necessary because the television set needed to be high enough to be seen.
Maybe having a stand and bunny ears made it a set.
Maybe it was a set because it just “set thar.”
Okay, it didn’t just sit there; the screen was so small we had to wheel it in close enough to actually see it. That was in the days before remote controls were invented, so close was convenient for kids squatting on the floor in front of the television set.
Finally, mom and dad purchased the ultimate luxury item, a television set big enough to be seen across the room and ensconced in a luxurious maple-like piece of furniture.
In living color, no less.
My grandparents got a color television set before we did and so we were already aware that Lawrence Welk was just as boring in color as in black and white.
Naturally, at our house we immediately switched the channel, without the help of a remote control, to The Rifleman and Bonanza for action-packed western adventure.
Ahh, the 60s, the age of fabulous television, free of the self-consciousness of any reality programming at all.
By the way for any youngsters out there, flatware is the same thing as “silverware,” which is probably not sterling, but merely looks silvery.
You know, your knife, fork and spoon. I am not sure if plasticware qualifies. In fact, I’m not sure it was invented when I was a kid.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Premarital Sex? Not really.

There is no such thing as premarital sex.
“How does God define marriage?” asked a wise friend one day.
I never would have thought of asking such a thing. I was too busy accepting the status quo.
“Isn’t it somewhere in the Old Testament?” I asked, even though I couldn’t think of a place. “Leviticus maybe?”
I figure if I don’t remember it, it’s probably in Leviticus.
Think of how important the answer to that question is.
For instance, if we got our doctrine straight on this issue, the issue of same sex marriage would not have ever come up in American politics.
Oh sure, folks who think of themselves as gay would still need legal protection from rude people.
But, marriage is not defined by a legal document. The state actually has very little authority in this arena.
In fact, the laws in place are only necessary because humans tend to be exceptionally rude to each other, including sometime being exceptionally rude to the people they love.
The church has no authority over the arena of marriage either, although most Christians wouldn’t dream of having a wedding without a preacher.
So who defines marriage and when does it take place?
Can you think of a place in the Old Testament where the Bible offers us a format for wedding ceremonies?
What about a place anywhere in the New Testament where the government’s legal responsibilities are described.
I’m just saying.
So, what did my friend say when I guessed Leviticus?
“Cathy, think about it. What did Jesus say about marriage?” This friend is always the epitome of patience and compassion for me in my ignorance.
“The two shall become one flesh?” I guessed again.
Bingo!
Okay, then I had to think about it a whole year before I admitted that she was correct.
Some things are just too obvious to be true, right?
By the way, there is no such thing as premarital sex.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Surviving Your Siblings

I have an awesome younger sister and brother.
You could have seen the beginnings of who my siblings are now, if you had known us way back when we were kids.
Among other things, my brother is energetic, tender, and funny.
My sister is loyal, attentive, and thoughtful. We always say she fills up a room with her laughter.
We were also very creative children, so my poor mom had a hard time staying ahead of our mischief. Especially me.
Basically, I thought as the oldest it was my job to totally subjugate the other younger two.
No matter how many bad habits you have left over from your childhood, there are there are some easy things you can do to repair the damage as adults.
Number one; understand that God designed the family of our youth as a training ground for leadership.
Good leaders know that women need to be valued by having appreciation expressed for them. Men need to be valued by being treated respectfully. Understanding that your siblings need to be valued can go along way to repairing the damage.
Number two; recognize that your siblings were designed for God’s purpose in their adult lives. The traits that annoyed you when you were all immature were put there for a purpose. Making a list of all the things that annoyed you as a child may help you recognize how great those traits are in adults.
Number three; remember to parent your own kids, but not theirs.
Since we were the first to have kids in our generation of our family, we got plenty of inexperienced, unwanted advice. We learned to respect God’s leadership and to trust our siblings to make wise decisions when their kiddoes came along. We try to offer encouragement only.
Cain is the poster child for destructive sibling rivalry, isn’t he?
“That’s not fair!” he shouted, like an immature brat, when God explained the consequences for killing his brother.
The guy kills his brother and he has the nerve to tell God that the consequences are not fair. What a problem child!
I can imagine God thinking, I designed that kid with boldness and look how he talks back to Me.
Just like Abel couldn’t fix Cain, as adults sometimes we can’t fix our relationships with our siblings.
Murder is not cool.
Sometimes surviving is enough.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Effectively Motivating Your Employees

Basically, people are motivated by four things, reward, comfort, affirmation, and finally, most effectively, by commitment to a greater goal, combined with a solid relationship to the one in authority.
Coaches, especially good ones, naturally motivate using these techniques on the court and field. Unfortunately, some bosses didn’t get the memo.
Panic mode is especially tempting during a recession. The panicky boss is going to rely on fear as a primary source of adrenalin. Usually threatening scenarios include eminent deadlines, declining revenue, job cutbacks.
Scary stuff and pretty motivating in the moment. But those kind of panic-ridden pep talks from the boss usually only motivate a staff to polish their resumes and surf website job listings.
So, how to move from fear-based incentives to visionary leadership?
Start by recognizing that each individual on your staff only has four basic motives. Next, identify what motivates each individual.
As humans we all crave the first three: reward, comfort, and affirmation.
The Bible describes them as “the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, and the boastful pride of life.” Forget the sermons you’ve heard about how naughty those things are and just think of them as part of our natural design; God’s design of humans.
Lust of the Eye is simply the desire for the stuff we can see and measure, like a nice home for our family, reliable transportation, a good education.
Wanting your neighbor’s wife is NOT what Lust of the Flesh is about, although she might seem enticing for a split second right before he shoots you. Lust of the Flesh is actually the stuff we need on a physical and emotional level; things that make us feel safe and comfortable. Things like food, clothing, and loved ones in our life are highly motivating.
Finally, the Boastful Pride of Life is simply respect. Men in particular have a need to feel that they are respected by the people who matter to them, especially their boss. Women need to feel affirmed and appreciated. Notably, there is a slight, but significant difference between respect and affirmation.
The real measure of a good boss is moving past the basic human motivators to becoming a visionary leader who motivates on that fourth level, beyond emotional to the spiritual level.
Jesus demonstrated an understanding of all four in Matthew 4:1-11 when His enemy tempted Him in the desert.
Of course, He was ultimately motivated by a vision of the future and a solid relationship with the One over Him in authority.
Now that’s powerful, spiritual motivation.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

A Texan In Paris

“Remember: English is the language of domination,” shouted our tour guide.
Then, demonstrating a football stiff arm, he explained our strategy for getting safely past aggressive city taxicabs.
“Dominate!”
In a group that represented the US, Canada, England, and Australia, we were fitted for bikes. The shiny red bikes had names like Cupcake and the blue ones had manly names like Road Runner. And Road Kill.
“That guys is from Texas and I bet 10 Euros, he is Pine Cove trained,” I whispered to my daughters as our Fat Tire Tour in Paris began.
What are the odds? My daughters didn’t believe me.
“I’m tellin’ ya, I bet he’s from Fredericksburg,” I insisted.
Paris is a cosmopolitan city, a place where people from everywhere come to bask in the richness of some of the best art collections in the world.
It is also the capital of a country that designates a whole government agency to preserving the French language from English intrusions.
Not an easy task in an age of “Le Ipad.”
My oldest daughter pedaled up front and began small talk.
Turns out I was wrong about one thing.
The guy was from San Antonio.
His camp name was Opa; Andrew is his real name.
You might be wondering how I recognized the Pine Cove influence, but only if you have never met a Pine Cove Christian Camps counselor.
Maybe it was the way he knew how to make it fun for everyone else.
Maybe it was the attentive way he made his customers feel like friends.
Pine Cove has this way of turning men into servant leaders.
I hate to admit this, but Texas A&M didn’t hurt him any either. When we met, Andrew was finishing up a stint with Fat Tire Tours, then beginning a career in California doing something fancy. I can’t remember what exactly.
One thing I know, with a servant’s heart and a ton of confidence, Andrew is sure to be successful.
Maybe domination isn’t the first word that comes to mind when you think about successful servant leaders or international detent.
But when it comes to competing in a global market, having an attitude and a skill set that stands out - because it is based in faith, not fear - is exactly what we want for our kiddoes. Andrew was easy to pick out of the crowd.
So I say, “Dominate.”
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.