True love? Maybe.

Romance is in the air and with Valentine’s Day, that recurring question:
How do you know he’s the one?
Yep, it is the question that has plagued single women for centuries.
Okay, just decades. Since arranged marriages fell out of favor.
On a side note, most parents are still in favor of arranged marriages, but that is a different column.
Is it his darling smile?
Those crystal clear blue eyes?
The laugh?
Nah, women are a lot more practical than that.
One friend who leans toward math genius status in my world narrowed it down to a mathematical equation.
Thirty percent is intelligence, 30% personality, which basically means a sense of humor, and 30% looks. Not necessarily in that order.
The other 10% is all about the bonus points; he plays the guitar, likes to cook, likes to travel, is bilingual. You know, the random extras.
All that presupposes the man has a dynamic faith of his own. Because, let’s face it, marriage is a daily act of faith. Sometimes minute by minute.
I suspect for guys it is 100% looks, but that’s just a guess.
Still, I know lots of gals who fall for the wrong dude.
So, how do you know when he is Mr. Right?
Here’s my best advice:
1) You would follow him to Australia, be poor together, and think it was an adventure.
2) When you finally tell him your most guarded inadequacy, he chuckles.
3) You are both made more brilliant by each other.
By brilliant I mean, more luminous.
In other words, the super-shiney, God-inspired, walk-of-life ministry you do naturally as two separate people is more than doubled by your team effort.
We all know couples who epitomize the “Brilliant Principal of Romance.”
One of my favorite brilliant couples is using their retirement years to work with the youth at their church. Because of their faith and confidence, they are sometimes scolded by church folks who don’t quite get the beauty of drawing in the kids who need help the most. You know, the sort of kids that can make Christian folks uncomfortable.
The great thing about this brilliantly in-love couple is they think it’s fun to spend time with the misfit kids, the ones who need mentoring and encouraging.
Match made in heaven.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Motivating Your Employees (Trustworthy Leadership), Part 2

Motivating your employees can be tough in a suppressed economy, especially when fear is the key economic ingredient from the purveyors of the national news.
So, how do you encourage confidence in your employees, rather than fear?
Folks are basically motivated by four things – stuff, security, significance, and, finally the biggie, a vision combined with a solid relationship with the one in authority. If you missed the first part of this three-part series, you can find it on this paper’s website.
The first three motivators are important and can make a good boss even more effective.
However, a terrific boss creates a vision and secures the trust of his employees.
How?
Creating a vision is simple. Figure out how you are serving your customers. Now put that into one sentence.
In a free market, if you serve people, success will follow. If your employees understand that they are offering something that is worthwhile, they will feel like their days at work are valuable.
Having a solid relationship with your employees can be a little more challenging.
One man I know told me that if people did not treat him right, he would teach them to respect him by force.
He had respect and fear confused.
You earn people’s trust, not by scaring them to death, by being trustworthy.
You earn their respect by being trustworthy for a long period of time.
So, how does trustworthy look?
The trustworthy person does what is hard and sacrificial.
The trustworthy person puts other people’s interests ahead of his own.
He tells the truth. If he doesn’t know how his business will survive in these uncertain times, he keeps his employees posted so they can make wise decisions.
He leads in giving them opportunities to help each other by setting an example when life throws out a curve ball like cancer or family crises.
He doesn’t treat them like dependant children, instead he rejoices at the opportunities they have to gain skills and knowledge.
Most importantly, his employees know that there are certain lines he won’t cross.
Leadership just means creating opportunities for employees to follow their heart.
Serving others, both customers and employees, is the hallmark of successful business owners.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com

Mom’s Day Made Easy

What to give Mom for Mother’s day?
Oh that’s easy. Here’s a list of favorite gifts, where to get them, and how much they should cost.
For the Best Lotion, along with lots of other reasonably priced, delightful little treats, shop the Tyler Rose Museum’s Gift Shop. My favorite thing about the shop, though, is the lead salesperson Pat Johnson. For under $20, I walked out with Camille Beckman Rosewater Glycerine Hand Therapy, some rose-themed hand napkins, and a fun rose-shaped lip gloss. Shhh, don’t tell my mom.
For Best Chocolates, along with an ever-changing array of clothing and home fashions, I depend on Potpourri House. Locally owned, Les Elsworth keeps a selection of The Sweet Shop chocolates in a special display case and will wrap even one piece, say, champagne truffle, in a gold bag fit for mom. At less than $3 a piece for a bite of pure decadence, why stop at one?
Best Fine Dining? Well, that’s tough because East Texas has so many great choices, but I like Villa Montez for gourmet flavors, atmosphere, and price.
Best Blackened Catfish to be had, without a doubt, is at Edom Bakery, prepared by Chef Jackson York. Tell him I sent you; it’s not on the menu, but it is oh-so-good.
It’s not Mother’s Day without a Best Picnic. Brookshire’s FRESH wins in this category. I recommend bringing a cooler so you can take sushi, followed by Crème Brulee from their French pastry case. When they offer to melt the sugar crust on top, say yes.
The Best Book I’ve read lately is The Collected Stories of Eudora Welty, the author known for her southern perspective. Not your mother’s genre? I recommend Trudy’s Fireside Books, where under the guidance of Trudy’s friend and successor, James Leath, you are sure to get good advice. Plus, most of his books are gently-loved, so you can pick up a great little bargain. Mom will be so proud of you.
The Best Flower is a magnolia blossom, which could be obtained for free in your yard or from a neighbor. Or Sandra Abbiati of A Wishing Well Florist in downtown Bullard recently delivered some of the prettiest tulips I’ve ever seen.
Deliver any item on this list with a hug - or a phone call if she lives far away - and I guarantee she’ll love it.
That’s an easy guarantee because we all know it’s the hug or the phone call she really wants.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Slithery snakes, sexual abuse, and being brave

I have a fear of having a snake show up in my garage.
Lest you think I am paranoid, this actually happens in my neighborhood from time to time. If you live in the country, you know what I mean.
I am not afraid of snakes in my yard and have learned to identify the common East Texas varieties.
I know I can take a deep breath, get my shovel, and cut the heads off the venomous varieties. I’ve done it so often that I am confident that I am the smarter, faster adversary.
But there is something so claustrophobic about meeting up with a snake, of any variety, in close quarters. It gives me the creeps and makes my skin crawl.
I have a very beautiful friend who has the cleanest, most ship-shape home I know. She is the last person on earth to find a snake in the garage, especially since she lives right in the heart of Tyler, surrounded by neighbors, neatly fenced yards, and concrete curbing.
Not like out here where we live, surrounded by woods, pastures, and oil top lanes.
One day she found a snake in her domain, all right.
And not in the garage, either.
That snake found his way to her master bedroom and was relaxing near her bed! Imagine the panic.
That was the snake’s final and most deadly activity – for him.
My friend’s brave and dashing grandson had the snake decapitated in no time.
On any given week day, in courtrooms all across the US, victims of sexual abuse are taking the stand to testify, often about close friends and trusted family members.
You may wonder how parents could not notice, but the truth is, just like snakes, sexual predators are sneaky and slithery.
This column is dedicated to the young victims who have the courage to testify.
Thank you for taking another snake out of action.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

What’s Next? Life after kids

There’s life after kids.
“You’ve got 30 more years,” said one friend recently, “That’s a lifetime of things you could do.”
Once parents get over the shock of sending their last nestling out the door, guess what? An empty nest turns out to be fabulous, especially having time to focus on grown-up stuff.
If you are facing May with trepidation as your youngest graduates from high school, now is a great time to make a list entitled “What’s Next” and post it on the fridge.
To get you started, here are some categories of things you have probably been wishing you had time for the last, oh say, eighteen plus years.
Serve the Community. Nonprofits, like for instance Habitat for Humanity’s Rehabitat program, can always use willing hands. I also like the idea of animal therapy programs, like using horses to help special needs kiddoes or dogs to visit the elderly.
Seek Justice. Groups like CASA and the East Crisis Center serve those who have been the victims of violence.
Pursue a New skill. Think of all the high-tech photography or video editing that is available now. Or what about something you always wanted time for, like a painting class at TJC?
Start a Second Careers. With a recession, this could be a terrific time to try something new on the side.
Ministry. Give a single mom a break with a little house or yard work. Or get involved with a prison ministry.
Travel. Colleges offer trips at student-inspired low prices. Take a trip with your almost grown kids. Better yet, line up a weekend with your siblings sans offspring. Or travel to a third world country and build a water well.
Politics. Run for school board or city counsel. Attend a party convention or walk your block for candidates.
Write your memoirs. Or tape a video of family history for the grandkids and beyond.
Volunteer in a public school. Adopt a school.
In fact, with so many fun things waiting to do, your kids may have to call ahead to get on your calendar.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Red Shoe Philosophy

Valentine’s Day is not really about love at all. It is all about philosophy.

For this reason, I think it is important to note philosophical issues, especially the ones related to Valentine’s Day.

For instance, the Red Shoe Philosophy is one noteworthy theory that seems particularly relevant as Valentine’s Day approaches.

The Red Shoe Philosophy is simple: If you wear red shoes you will have a good day.

This semi-scientifically tested theory seems to hold true regardless of bad hair days, by the way. Or extra weigh gained over the holidays.

There is something so invigorating about a high-healed pair of red pumps.

I especially liked the picture I saw recently of a pair of red tennis shoes under a prom dress.

Or red cowboy boots; yeehaw!

Not only does a gal in red shoes walk with a little extra spring, she puts a smile on the face of anybody who happens to catch a glimpse of her lipstick-colored footwear.

The reason I think the Red Shoe Philosophy is relevant for Valentine’s Day is because a lot of single gals detest this holiday.

There’s something so disappointing for single gals about the heartbreaking combination of a holiday that emphasizes chocolate and having no one to give you any.

Having the right philosophy is self-empowering.

The great news is, you get to choose your own podiatral adornments. And shoes don’t add calories to your diet.

Like a gal in a zippy red sports car, you can leave all those single guys idling in the wake of your glimmering, flashes of self-confidence.

Or for the guy who is the lucky lover of a gal who buys into the whole Red Shoe Philosophy, here’s another philosophical pearl that is sure to come in handy when you rush out at the last minute in a Valentine’s Day buying panic.

Gals love shoes. Especially red ones. Hint, hint.

So, for the guy desperately trying to please his sweetheart, some pertinent philosophical perspectives seem especially relevant this time of year.

Just buy jewelry.

Or check in her closet for her shoe size.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Nice Girls and Sexual Harassment

What in the world is wrong with this character?!

I was entranced at a party recently as a twenty-something friend put off the advances of a too attentive young man.

I wanted her to bust his chops and put an end to our misery, but she was way too nice.

He was so focused that he didn’t notice that her friends, and at least one middle-aged mom-type, were paying close attention to his every move.

I have another twenty-something friend who quit her job rather than confront a guy at work who came on too strong.

So, here’s what I have to say to nice girls, “Quit being so nice!”

How? Here are some suggestions:

-Carry a knife in your purse. Nothing says “get out of my bubble” like cleaning your fingernails with a big, macho pocketknife. Just remember to leave it at home when you go to the airport.

-Ask a simple question, “Did you play football?” No matter how he answers the question, twirl around in “stiff arm” position and explain that he is taking a chance if he gets any closer than that.

-Sneak attacks? Don’t you just hate it when guys think they can approach you from the back and get in uncomfortably close? There’s a simple solution to that problem. Twist around quickly, put a knee in his groin and then say, “Oops! Did I hurt you?”

-Door strategy. If the guy stands in the doorframe of your car to prevent you from leaving, hit the alarm button on your key fob. Then say, “Back up please, I am leaving. NOW. That’s the signal.”

-Psychological warfare. Any guy that says, “You’re not nice,” is being manipulative. Your answer to that is “No, I am certainly NOT nice. Thank you for noticing.”

-Clarify the rules. Say exactly what you want him to know. For example, “Did I say you could enter my personal bubble?”

Most of the time you can clarify the rules with a simple statement as long as you smile. If you don’t laugh people will feel threatened, especially if you are cleaning your fingernails or picking your teeth with your bad-ass knife.

One last thought, if your mother would be offended about the way he’s acting, you should be, too. And it is best to let him know it. With a nice smile, of course.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Girl Scout Cookies

My New Year’s diet always has an expiration date. It ends March 1.

That’s inevitably when I run into the first Girl Scout Troup selling boxes of temptation outside the grocery store.

You know what I’m talking about. Those adorable girls in their matching costumes, giggling and chatting behind folding tables, working hard to earn money for a good cause; they make succumbing to temptation feel downright righteous.

All of which would NOT be such a high-caloric problem if only I was willing to share.

Let’s face it; those cookies are so addictive that you cannot possibly open a box without eating each and every crumb.

It requires a strategy to get even one cookie once your family discovers that you have purchased a box.

Fortunately, a long and delicious life has taught me a thing or two about getting my fair share of the Girl Scout Cookies.

First, buy at least ten boxes every time you run into the girls. It’s for a good cause.

Second, when you get home wrap all the Thin Mints in brown paper bags and hide them in the back of the freezer.

Next, throw the family off the scent by putting all the Dosidos in plain sight in the front of the freezer.

Finally, put several boxes of Trefoils out on the counter as if you are an unselfish mom who intended to share.

And, just in case your family is onto your tricks, eat a whole box of Thin Mints in the parking lot before you leave the grocery store.

Favorite uses of Girl Scout Cookies:

-Sneaking two boxes into the movie theater on date night (not that I’ve ever done that.)

-Bringing them to school functions with the comment, “You know I don’t cook, but…” Believe me, no one cares that you don’t do homemade.

-Using them as a bribe for just about anything you want your family to do, as in “There could be a box of Girl Scout Cookies in it for you if you help me with my technology.”

I was disappointed to learn that the young man who mows our grass only takes Girl Scout Cookies as a tip, not full payment.

Back in January, I made a near fatal mistake of running into some early sellers in a different part of the state. Did you know that Girl Scout Cookies are released at different times in different parts of Texas? Who knew?

Personally, I think there should be a warning label on each box: “Could be dangerous for your diet if you are traveling.”

The moral of this story is simple: Don’t leave East Texas between Jan 1 and March 1. Stay where it’s safe.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

True Love and the Wow Factor

How do you know when its true love?

Sometime between Valentine’s Day and spring weddings, every single gal on the planet finds herself asking that all-important, suspense-filled question.

The answer is simple. It’s the wow factor.

Of course, men and women are wowed by different things.

We’ve all seen the gorgeous, super-model girl with the short, bespectacled guy. Men never understand how that happens but, of course, women get it.

“It’s 30% looks + 30% personality + 30% intellect + 10% bonus stuff,” says one very wise gal I know, explaining it like a math formula.

Bonus stuff is nonessential, but fun extras like bilingual, athletic, rich, ambitious, musical; you get the idea.

If a guy plays the guitar that’s an unfair advantage because no woman on the planet can resist a strummy love song.

I may be wrong but I think the guys’ formula is straight up: 100% looks.

That’s probably why men think we are complicated, ladies; our equation involves addition.

Men-in-love are a fascinating species, especially East Texas men. Trained to hunt from the time they are tots, our young fellows study up on their intended with dedication and devotion that borders stalking.

That, too, seems unfair because we all know that no young woman on the planet can resist the attention of a cute guy.

Gals, if a guy is not intense about you, or if you are doing too much work to keep his interest, he is not your Mr. Right. I say dump him immediately because he’s just standing between you and The One. Plus, single gals have a lot more fun and freedom without a half-hearted suitor driving ‘em crazy. And I respectfully suggest that he’s got better things to do than waste his time with you.

All this presupposes faith because fear is no way to build a relationship.

Personally, since I don’t do math, I have a right-brain theory. It involves a little science.

“Trust the Chemistry of the Universe.”

According to this theory of science and the laws of attraction, since the Designer of the Universe is Good, somehow, when we meet “the one,” our strengths will gel. Our weaknesses will serve to help us mature. Eventually. With a lot of prayer probably.

There will even be fire-works. Hopefully, mostly the good kind.

There are some women who will argue my theory about chemistry because they seem to be magnets for every naughty boy within 100 miles.

For those ladies, I have an amended hypothesis, “Trust the Chemistry, but DON’T check your brain at the door!”

And try to enjoy the suspense.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

The Painless Perfect Pizza Crust List

Nothing says welcome home like pizza! Or TV night in front of the fireplace.

This time of year, warm homemade pizza is a family night waiting to happen, especially if the crust is easy and everybody pitches in to create individual designer pizzas.

The secret to a good crust is in greasing the pan with olive oil and sprinkling it with corn meal instead of flour.

Here’s a list of easy crusts available in our local grocery stores. Pre-made crusts are easiest, of course, but the mixes are easy, too, and have the advantage of saving money. 1 star means no thanks, 5 stars means Bon appétit!

-Jiffy Pizza Crust Mix. Tastes too much like Bisquick for our family. Serves 1 teenage boy. 2 stars.

-Valutime Crispy Pizza Crust Mix. The kids liked this one best, but the adults thought it was too limp. Serves 1 teenage boy. 3 stars.

-Martha White Pizza Crust Thin & Crispy Mix. This was the adult favorite because it held its shape and tasted of yeast, instead of baking soda. Serves 1 teenage boy. 4 stars.

-Pillsbury Pizza Crust Classic. This one is definitely the easiest, but most expensive of the ones you have to spread yourself. It has a good texture, but tastes a little biscuit-y for me. Serves 2 teenage boys. 3 stars.

-Brookshire’s Facochia Bread. Add 8 ounces of grated cheese on top and a salad and you have a meal for four. 5 stars.

-Mama Mary’s 100% Whole Wheat Pizza Crusts. Too dry. Teenage boys won’t eat it. 1 star.

-Boboli Original Pizza Crust. For the money, I prefer mix and bake styles. They taste fresher.

Other things Italian:

-We tried two varieties of Alessi Breadsticks, Grissini Torinesi Rosemary or Garlic. The garlic ones are traditional, a little thicker. (2 stars). The Rosemary ones are very thin, delicious, and wrapped in individual servings, easy to pack in lunches. (5 stars).

-World Classics Artichoke Antipasto. I saved so much on crusts, I couldn’t resist trying this little jar of goodness, even though it was a splurge. I sampled it as a spread on toast (2 stars), with pasta (3 stars), and as a hot artichoke dip mixed with cream cheese and topped with parmesan (5 stars). I recommend it as a hostess gift, too.

Designer pizzas are a fun, inexpensive, easy way to bring your whole family into the warmth of the kitchen on winter nights.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Hi-Tech Redneck

There was a shiny new piece of hi-tech equipment with a big red velveteen bow parked in my driveway Christmas morning.

It seems my husband believes I should have a new vehicle every 200,000 miles or every 10 years, whether I am ready or not.

My problem is I am just not that good of a driver. How am I supposed to drive and find all the new buttons?

Did you know they don’t even put tape players in cars anymore?

Now if you haven’t shopped for cars in ten years, you’re in for some astonishing space-agey, new fangled gadgets. For instance, I don’t have to touch my hatchback any more to get it to close. There’s a button for that.

Oh and they don’t call ‘em hatchbacks anymore either.

Jeremy Lade looked at me with understanding patience in his eyes and explained that I would probably love sync technology once I got used to it. Bless his heart.

So just what is sync technology?

Well, as best as I can figure so far, I talk to my steering wheel and it dials my iphone for me somehow. Okay, so maybe I’ll admit that the road has been a more dangerous place since I got my iphone. And maybe I’ll admit I find myself checking emails as I drive. Did you know there’s an ap for Facebook?

This technological hot rod came with four- count ‘em, four- books. One whole book is devoted solely to making phone calls.

I have a simple solution to so much information. I just drive by the dealership for another lesson.

The guys at Lade have amazing customer service, especially for technologically challenged middle-aged mom-types.

But I’m seriously concerned about Ford’s future truck sales and here’s why:

My sporty little Edge doesn’t understand Jeremy too well.

Every time Jeremy spoke a command, the car’s screen said, listening…listening…listening….

I suspect my techy new Silver Bullet - yep, that’s what my teenage son and I call our new voice activated joy ride - is listening for the King’s English.

“I guess I can’t tell my car I’m fixin’ to call someone, huh Jeremy,” I said.

He laughed and gave me the title for this column.

I’m thinking those engineers at Ford better come up with a computer that listens for a Texas twang or they are gonna have some disappointed cowboys singing songs about losing their true loves because their pick up truck couldn’t dial her number.

And maybe trucks should answer with a younger, sexier voice.

My son suggested Carrie Underwood.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Ribbon Solutions

I have a simple solution to life’s stress.

Buy more ribbon.

I don’t know when my ribbon fetish began. Probably during childhood adventures with my grandmother, scouring second-hand stores and discount fabric stores for other people’s cast offs of useful items like zippers, buttons, and thread. The pay-off for restless granddaughters was a yard of any ribbon we chose, a real luxury in those days and an inspired bribe on Meme’s part, since choosing only one yard from so many colorful, temptations was certainly excruciatingly time consuming for young intellects.

I was reminded of our human tendency to prepare for life in odd ways recently when I uncovered the stash of ribbon I had collected in the months preceding my daughter’s wedding almost two years ago.

Like a squirrel hoards nuts, I had gathered spools of silky satin and shiny iridescent ribbon and hidden them away in an unmarked box just in case.

How having ribbon would prepare anyone for the transition of having your children grow up and begin families of their own is a quagmire of human illogic and dysfunction that only a professional psychologist could unravel.

All I know is, “You never know when the perfect ribbon will come in handy.”

Which reminds me of another motto, “Whoever has the most fabric when they die, wins.”

I have known women who built shelf-lined closets specifically to organize their addiction to fabric, justifying it with the words, “But I love to quilt.” And perhaps because they wanted to avoid trips to marriage counseling, their husbands seemed well-adjusted to this concept.

Or maybe those same husbands have a closet devoted to golf.

Like so many mid-lifers, I’m trading stuff for space these days; getting rid of the stuff and gaining room in my closets.

So, what to do with all this ribbon?

Well, the obvious thing, of course. Pass it along, with the fetish, to my oldest daughter, the artist.

And what she doesn’t want can be used to wrap up Christmas at our house this year.

I just hope my family and friends don’t become suspicious when the ribbon on their Christmas packages looks more wedding-ish than holiday-ish.

And I hope your holidays are wrapped and decorated with sweet family memories.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Reasons Women Love Hunting Season

As I write, it’s Saturday morning; I’m still in my PJ’s enjoying my second cup of coffee in the peaceful stillness that can’t possibly be my house. There’s a chill in the air…..

And that, my friends, is the #1 reason why women love hunting season.

A momentarily quiet house.

I am so okay with the men taking off to hunt without me. But that’s not the only thing that’s great about hunting:

#2 Meeting girlfriends at restaurants and shopping with no time restraints.

#3 Feeling totally un-guilty about buying a new outfit because the guys stocked up on all kinds of expensive new gear in the name of camo and amo right before they left.

#4 The men come in after each hunt with new stories to tell, like notches on a gun belt.

Sorting fact from fiction is all part of the fun. Like the top-secret rituals of a men’s fraternity,

only the initiated will ever know what really scared away the big buck.

#5 Women love what spending time with the men in their life does for our sons’ self-confidence.

#6 We love the way our sons swagger when they comes home after a hunt.

#7 And what about the awe mixed with regret that every little boy experiences the first time he shoots a squirrel with a BB gun? Then, strange as it sounds, each and every hunt after that reminds him again that “Life is Sacred.”

#8 It’s so reassuring when they come home and only the game was killed. Yeah, women tend to worry or pray the whole weekend.

#9 Not to mention the fact that sons go to bed early for two nights afterwards because they are so exhausted from the crazy hours and the fresh air.

#10 And yes, women like the way hunting puts us in control of the remote for a change, not to mention getting to watch chick flicks all weekend.

Seriously, there must be something sobering and thought-provoking about wandering about in God’s creation - the beautiful fields and forests of Texas - and beholding the way a mighty and good Maker rules His domain. The men always return refreshed and ready to recommit to leading and serving others.

Last, but not least, I think it is oh-so-cool when they cook what they kill which means I get a kitchen pass.

Oh, the glories of the hunt!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Simplifying Work-related Stress

I have this theory that most work-related stress is simply people-related stress.

People can be downright stressful. Melodramatic.

So, what are some things that can be done to turn around the stressful situations, those work-related mini soap operas?

-Laugh. Look for people who know how to laugh. Make it a deliberate goal to sit at the “most fun” table at any seminar or event. Life is short.

-Focus on fun. Does 5 hours feel like 5 minutes on certain tasks? Do you look up and say, “Where did the time go?!” Say yes to more of those.

-Say No. Everyone has to do things they don’t enjoy along the way. That’s why it’s called work and that’s why we get paid. But minimize those tasks and set boundaries around them.

-Confide. Vent, but only with friends who are trustworthy and NOT co-workers. Don’t poison someone else’s well. Instead, look for mature folks who tend to end a debriefing with this kind of message, “I hear what you are saying, but I am guessing that you just needed to vent. You guys are probably a perfect team, bringing a balance to each other.”

-Repeat the Positive. Never repeat anything that is negative.

-Affirm. Affirmation tends to be contagious and everyone needs a pat on the back now and then.

-Delegate, Initiate, and Appreciate. If you are a creative ding-bat, sit next to the most organized, thorough person at the meeting. Or if you’re the intense, alpha type, sit next to the person who will be the most laid back. You’ll probably get on each other’s last nerve at first, but I guarantee that if you let the person know you appreciate the way they are wired, soon you’ll have a cordial, mutually productive relationship.

-Meet New People. New people are one way to enrich your life and stimulate your brain. Listening to other perspectives is a great way to learn something new.

-Learn New Things. Always take the opportunity to get training in areas you enjoy. Unfamiliar territory can be intimidating, but once you conquer a new skill, you’ll feel terrific and oh-so-smart.

-Reward others. Remember to thank the people in your life, at work and at home, that make your day better. Do not withhold honor from whom it is due.

Finally, reward yourself, too. Remember to take stock in what you value and commit to that. Reward yourself by making time for the people you love.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

You Only Keep What You Give Away

You only keep what you give away.
I was reminded of this principle again recently when I experienced the computer glitch of a writer’s worst nightmares and all my files were lost.
Bummer.
So now I am searching my gmail files for attachments and discovering that I’m glad I always share my stuff.
This week’s events reminded me of an experience that happened right after my son was born almost thirteen years ago.
My friend showed up one day with a one-of-a-kind baby gift.
Imagine my surprise when I opened the package and discovered that she had given me two tiny items from the store of things she was saving for her own grandchildren someday.
It was one of my all time favorite gifts because I understood that she was giving me something very personal, a gift of herself; a “Baby’s First Christmas” bib and an antique plaque with a dimpled cherub from the wall of the nursery her own sons had out-grown. I hung the plaque next to William’s crib and, being a Christmas baby himself, he spit up on the bib immediately.
Within months after Christmas, I received a call from a mutual friend one morning.
“Cathy, there was a fire at Joyce’s house last night. Everyone is safe.”
The scene was surreal. Her two-story home overlooking the lake, designed by an architect who was a colleague of Frank Lloyd Wright, had been a masterpiece of contemporary architecture. Now it was a charred, blackened slab.
The insurance company made an initial payment immediately and within days Joyce’s family was settled in a rent house with a convenient storage barn out back.
Where there had been family heirloom furniture, now there were practical, simple pieces like desks for the boys from Walmart.
She explained to me that the process was actually freeing somehow.
Fortunately, over the years, she had given copies of all family portraits to family members, so her pictures were already coming home.
Then we went to the barn where there was a row of plastic tubs holding the few indestructible items they had managed to salvage. We spent the day scrubbing thick, black goo off of china and the few pieces of silver that didn’t melt.
And I returned her bib and her plaque.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Road Trip Romance

With family-filled summer days over, I vote for a romantic getaway.
Okay, everyone knows that guys and gals have totally different ideas about what’s romantic, right?
So when my friend spelled it out recently, I got out my pen and pad and took notes.
“Just buy Dorritos,” she began.
According to her theory, our significant others get tired of being told to eat healthy meals. When their sweetheart hops in the car with a cooler and a grocery bag packed with junk food, that means it is time to cut loose. Vacation. Road trip. Romance.
And all this time, I thought putting veggies on the table was a loving gesture meant to communicate that I hoped to keep him with me awhile.
This time of year is a great time for a road trip when beach towns take on a whole new laid-back attitude because it’s still hot enough to enjoy a shady umbrella and a good book, but the crowds have cleared out. In fact, hotel and condo rates drop as much as half mid-September. A mere 6 to 10 hours from now and you could be listening to the gentle pulse of the waves and treating yourself to a platter of fresh sea food.
To get your manfriend in the right frame of mind, here’s the food that communicates freedom and romance for the car ride according to my anonymous expert, a friend who suggests these “seven steps to a healthy relationship” (besides nacho-flavored Doritos):
-butterfingers,
-Ruffles potato chips,
-a cooler filled with Mountain Dew, and
-plenty of country western music which is the number one national favorite, apparently.
Step #6: Stop for Barbeque. “I don’t know what the deal is with THAT,” she says.
Step seven is funniest, though, as far as I’m concerned.
She has a firm opinion about a sure way to make the trip go faster.
“Buy copies of Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Bizarre, and GQ,” she says. Then as your sweetheart drives along, read exerts and ask innocently, “Would you like this?” or “Do you want to try this while we’re on vacation?”
Well, no wonder the trip goes fast, right?
You better keep an eye on the speed limit because your sweetheart’s foot will be getting heavier and heavier and his mind won’t be on the junk food.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Cheap and Easy Gal’s Night Out

Personally, hard economic times require more laughter.
Any excuse for a party, right?
Lately, my idea of a relaxing night out is meeting girlfriends for sushi. Unfortunately, sushi drives up a restaurant bill faster than double martinis.
Casual get-togethers at home means cheaper fun, but no sushi, right?
So, imagine my delight when I found a do-it-yourself sushi kit at the grocery store. A plan began to form in the recesses of my mind.
Thus, the Cheap and Easy Gal’s Night Out was born.
If you want to have your own Cheap and Easy Gal’s Night Out, all you need is the following:
-Invitations. Okay, if they are your real friends, who needs invitations? On the other hand, text media is the only way to do justice to the idea “Cheap and Easy Gal’s Night Out.” If you’d like a copy of my invitation, I’ll be happy to email it to you.
-Guest List. Keep it to a few close friends. Then, add a couple of new people to the group. New friends add dimension to our gatherings, and our hearts.
-Menu. Sushi kits sell for less than $3 per person. Add a cucumber, an avocado, a bag of carrots, a bag of frozen shrimp, Diet coke, and fortune cookies to the cart. Pocky, a Chinese sweet treat that is dipped in chocolate, is also a good choice.
-Alcohol. Llano wine is cheap and it’s Texas; two qualities that tend to endear me to any person or product.
-Party Favors. In keeping with the cheap theme, I bought fashion magazines for each guest with a subtitle, “Mega Savings Inside!” Perfection, rolled up and tied with a bow.
-Hostess Gift. Well, as long as we’re being casual, I figure why not stay with the easy theme and tell everyone to bring cash.
“No hostess gifts. Bring $5 and we’ll pick a charity.”
Now, I don’t know about you, but I laugh just imagining how local charities will react when they start receiving small donations marked “Cheap and Easy Gals.” Anonymously, of course.
Why not take a Friday night to sit around and laugh with friends for a few hours? Figure out together how to make do-it-yourself sushi and get it to your mouth with chop-sticks.
I don’t care what the economy does; money can’t buy fun or friendships like that.
Simplicity seems to be the definition of fun at my house, and probably yours, too.
I bet your friends won’t complain about being described as cheap and easy.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Entertaining Kids is Highly Overrated: Nine Tips to Delete “Bored” From Your Summer

“Mom, I’m bored.”
Yes, summer is when all children everywhere try to shift the burden of entertaining themselves to mom.
Entertaining children is highly overrated, in my experienced opinion.
Never one to take on additional responsibilities regarding my children because they were already so much work, I always balked.
“Okay, get out a pen and a piece of paper,” I responded each year sometime during the first week of June.
Kids are way too smart to fall for any tricky business that involves pen and paper after school is out, so already I had them on the run.
With groaning and complaining, they proceeded to list their goals for the summer. Then, we posted them on the fridge, in case boredom struck again. I saved the lists; they are pretty cute.
If you are lucky enough to still have bored young ones in your home, here’s a list to arm you for the summer ritual:
-Walk the dog. Wash the dog. Teach the dog tricks.
-Create a sweet treat. Clean up the mess. Deliver it to a neighbor.
-Interview an elderly person about history.
-Plan an easy craft. Invite a younger child over to play.
-Plan a meal for the family. Make the grocery list. Guess at the cost of items on the list. Take it to the grocery store and shop with a separate cart for the items. Give the cashier the money and compare it to the estimate. Prepare the meal for the family.
-Make a special table decoration and set the table. Eat by candlelight.
-Make paper dolls using cookie cutters for patterns.
-Write a screenplay and act it out with siblings, neighbors, or cousins. Video tape it.
-Choose an amazing book and take turns reading it out loud together. Then, rent the movie version.
-Play an old-fashioned board game, like Candy Land or Sequence. Make caramel corn in the microwave. (For the recipe, go to my blogsite.)
I know times have changed with so many moms working. Children spend summer almost as busy as they are the rest of the year.
But don’t forget to schedule in a little down time. Being bored is good for kids. It gives them a chance to think about and make their own plans for a few hours.
Boredom can be a good thing, especially if it produces a disciplined mind.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Microwave Caramel Corn

2 2.9 oz. bags of microwave popcorn

Caramel sauce:
1 stick butter
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
½ cup white corn syrup
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoons baking soda

Begin by using your butter to lightly grease a cookie sheet.
Then, nuke your popcorn. Empty the bags into a big bowl and separate away all the unpopped kernels.
Next, make your caramel sauce in a big microwave dish. I use a 2 quart measuring cup. Melt the butter first. Then add all the other ingredients, except the baking soda. Nuke for 1 minute. Stir. Repeat two more times or until the sugar feels less grainy. Then add the baking soda and nuke 1 more minute.
Pour the sauce over the popcorn and stir. Spread it out on the cookie sheet to cool.
My friend gave me this recipe years ago and it is a family tradition on game nights.

I’m NOT Going Through Menopause

I’m fifty and I’m not going through menopause.
I know this because every year I have my doctor draw blood and check it. Who knew there’s a test for menopausal women?
This only became a question because my husband kept saying, ‘Oh, you’re just going through menopause.”
No, I’m just super-sensitive and it has nothing at all to do with menopause thank you very much.
Most women, and apparently their husbands, dread menopause.
Let me just say that having your last child late in life does affect your perspective. When I started experiencing symptoms at 38, I thought then that I was probably just going through menopause early. I was afraid to tell anyone I was pregnant, for fear I’d have to go back and explain it was just a hot flash.
Now every time I get symptoms of any kind I think I’m pregnant. Not that I’m neurotic or anything.
All my friends, of a certain age you understand, are going through menopause, so I feel kinda left out. I’m really due to be menopausal. I’ve earned it.
I’m looking forward to having an excuse for my temper tantrums.
“Oh, Mom’s just menopausal,” I imagine my children saying as they tiptoe around the house avoiding my hypersensitive feelings.
“But you better clean up your room anyway,” they’ll add tenderly. In my fantasy world.
The reason that menopause hasn’t struck me yet is bound to be because I had that child late in life.
Or maybe it’s because I just love my estrogen cream.
It’s fragrance-free, plus it goes on like silk.
The instructions say to use only a dab, so I am not recommending the following course of action. I have no idea what the consequences are; side-effects could involve additional mammary glands, sort of like the blue Hindu goddesses I see in art museums.
But I spread that cream all over. In gobs.
I really like it as a face cream. Originally, I had hoped that it might hold back the wrinkles. Uh, no, that doesn’t work. Apparently.
I also love yams. And soy. I developed a taste for all-things-estrogen when my daughters moved away and left an estrogen vacuum at my house.
Suddenly, I found myself overwhelmed with testosterone. Or, as one of my friends said when they got their new puppy, “No more penises!”
I joined my mother’s garden club. I went back to my sorority meetings. Anything to be with other women.
I call my mom a lot. Bless her.
“You know, men go through menopause, too,” she told me.
What a relief. I bet that explains why my husband is so super-sensitive.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.