Newlyweds Get a Mom-in-Law Holiday

I’m giving my kids a year off from me. Just the married ones.
Why? Because the Old Testament mentions that a newlywed guy was exempt from military duty for a whole year to spend with his young bride. Who am I to argue with a good solid biblical principle, right?
Since mother-in-laws are generally perceived as only one step removed from an armed and dangerous enemy, I figure they won’t miss me.
Let the love birds coo, I say.
Being a mother-in-law is not a role that comes naturally for most moms.
It requires minding my own business and letting the kids make their own decisions. I assume they’ll make lots of mistakes without my input, naturally.
Challenging stuff.
So, what would I tell newlyweds? That is, if I were not the mother-in-law. If I was going to give any advice this year which I absolutely will not do at all in any way. Absolutely not. Obviously.
-First, have tons of fun. You can worry about your future kid’s college expenses later, much later. Today, live it up. For this year, be extravagant in all the small ways.
-Paint the walls purple. Or some other weird color now while you are still young enough to go back and paint it again without your joints aching the next day.
-Travel. Make a list of Texas State Parks and camp out.
-Eat out a lot.
-Eat at home more often, in your pajamas, and always share desert.
-Establish a habit of long, slow, tender kisses on the lips.
-Skinny dip, but don’t get arrested.
-When you are not skinny-dipping, wear Speedos and bikinis
-Dream about the future.
-Have adventures together.
-Move far from home for now, but plan to come home with the grandkids.
-Have romantic holidays alone for awhile.
-Figure out what works for you. Then, tell the rest of the family.
-Each day, tell your beloved what it is you fell in love with.
-Write down that love list. File it away somewhere safe. It turns out, this information will come in handy later on when you are way past the first year and you are wondering why you ever got married in the first place. I know, it’s hard to believe now, but everyone has rough patches. Being reminded in your own words why you fell in love in the first place will make it easier to hang in there.
-Be nice to your new mother-in-law because she is the one other person in the world who gets why your beloved is oh so wonderful. Plus, she understands that the person you love can be aggravating, too.
-And, above all else, do not take one bit of grief off your mom-in-law.
Oh, if you happen to see my new son-in-law, don’t tell him I said so.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are welcome at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.