Premarital Sex? Not really.

There is no such thing as premarital sex.
“How does God define marriage?” asked a wise friend one day.
I never would have thought of asking such a thing. I was too busy accepting the status quo.
“Isn’t it somewhere in the Old Testament?” I asked, even though I couldn’t think of a place. “Leviticus maybe?”
I figure if I don’t remember it, it’s probably in Leviticus.
Think of how important the answer to that question is.
For instance, if we got our doctrine straight on this issue, the issue of same sex marriage would not have ever come up in American politics.
Oh sure, folks who think of themselves as gay would still need legal protection from rude people.
But, marriage is not defined by a legal document. The state actually has very little authority in this arena.
In fact, the laws in place are only necessary because humans tend to be exceptionally rude to each other, including sometime being exceptionally rude to the people they love.
The church has no authority over the arena of marriage either, although most Christians wouldn’t dream of having a wedding without a preacher.
So who defines marriage and when does it take place?
Can you think of a place in the Old Testament where the Bible offers us a format for wedding ceremonies?
What about a place anywhere in the New Testament where the government’s legal responsibilities are described.
I’m just saying.
So, what did my friend say when I guessed Leviticus?
“Cathy, think about it. What did Jesus say about marriage?” This friend is always the epitome of patience and compassion for me in my ignorance.
“The two shall become one flesh?” I guessed again.
Bingo!
Okay, then I had to think about it a whole year before I admitted that she was correct.
Some things are just too obvious to be true, right?
By the way, there is no such thing as premarital sex.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Surviving Your Siblings

I have an awesome younger sister and brother.
You could have seen the beginnings of who my siblings are now, if you had known us way back when we were kids.
Among other things, my brother is energetic, tender, and funny.
My sister is loyal, attentive, and thoughtful. We always say she fills up a room with her laughter.
We were also very creative children, so my poor mom had a hard time staying ahead of our mischief. Especially me.
Basically, I thought as the oldest it was my job to totally subjugate the other younger two.
No matter how many bad habits you have left over from your childhood, there are there are some easy things you can do to repair the damage as adults.
Number one; understand that God designed the family of our youth as a training ground for leadership.
Good leaders know that women need to be valued by having appreciation expressed for them. Men need to be valued by being treated respectfully. Understanding that your siblings need to be valued can go along way to repairing the damage.
Number two; recognize that your siblings were designed for God’s purpose in their adult lives. The traits that annoyed you when you were all immature were put there for a purpose. Making a list of all the things that annoyed you as a child may help you recognize how great those traits are in adults.
Number three; remember to parent your own kids, but not theirs.
Since we were the first to have kids in our generation of our family, we got plenty of inexperienced, unwanted advice. We learned to respect God’s leadership and to trust our siblings to make wise decisions when their kiddoes came along. We try to offer encouragement only.
Cain is the poster child for destructive sibling rivalry, isn’t he?
“That’s not fair!” he shouted, like an immature brat, when God explained the consequences for killing his brother.
The guy kills his brother and he has the nerve to tell God that the consequences are not fair. What a problem child!
I can imagine God thinking, I designed that kid with boldness and look how he talks back to Me.
Just like Abel couldn’t fix Cain, as adults sometimes we can’t fix our relationships with our siblings.
Murder is not cool.
Sometimes surviving is enough.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.