How to Raise Faithful Kids

Our family adopted a beautiful, smart black and white Border Collie from a rescue shelter for our son when his big sisters left for college a few years ago.

We brainstormed and came up with a list of fifty or so names, including terrific choices like “Scout” from To Kill a Mockingbird.

“Lucy. I want to name my dog after my wife,” demanded the 8-year-old, proud new owner of man’s best friend.

I’m not sure how that’s going to work out, but the dog’s name is Lucy. Up until that moment, it had also been his prayer nickname for his future spouse.

So, how do you teach a child to care about someone they haven’t met yet?

-Teach your kids the true answers to the question, “How does God define marriage?” This includes answers to questions like, “When is a marriage official in God’s sight?” and “What are God’s purposes for marriage?”

-Don’t wait until they are teenagers to think and talk about their future spouses. Begin today.

-Be reasonable and consistent about dating. All kids need some social interaction, but do they really need to be alone as a couple in a car? Group activities are so much healthier and more practical than pairing up.

-Set a high standard for yourself as a parent. Be strict with yourself about how you interact with your co-workers and friends of the opposite sex.

-Say encouraging things to your kids, like “Your future spouse is out there right this minute” or “Your school friends may be the ones to introduce you to your future spouse” or my personal favorite, “Would you really want your friends telling her that you crushed on every girl in middle school?”

-Have fun as a family. Welcome your children into the social aspects of your life when they are small and they’ll be more likely to include you in their lives when they are teens. Make life fun.

I can’t wait to meet my future daughter-in-law. I just hope her name isn’t really Lucy. It could be awkward.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Nice Girls and Sexual Harassment

What in the world is wrong with this character?!

I was entranced at a party recently as a twenty-something friend put off the advances of a too attentive young man.

I wanted her to bust his chops and put an end to our misery, but she was way too nice.

He was so focused that he didn’t notice that her friends, and at least one middle-aged mom-type, were paying close attention to his every move.

I have another twenty-something friend who quit her job rather than confront a guy at work who came on too strong.

So, here’s what I have to say to nice girls, “Quit being so nice!”

How? Here are some suggestions:

-Carry a knife in your purse. Nothing says “get out of my bubble” like cleaning your fingernails with a big, macho pocketknife. Just remember to leave it at home when you go to the airport.

-Ask a simple question, “Did you play football?” No matter how he answers the question, twirl around in “stiff arm” position and explain that he is taking a chance if he gets any closer than that.

-Sneak attacks? Don’t you just hate it when guys think they can approach you from the back and get in uncomfortably close? There’s a simple solution to that problem. Twist around quickly, put a knee in his groin and then say, “Oops! Did I hurt you?”

-Door strategy. If the guy stands in the doorframe of your car to prevent you from leaving, hit the alarm button on your key fob. Then say, “Back up please, I am leaving. NOW. That’s the signal.”

-Psychological warfare. Any guy that says, “You’re not nice,” is being manipulative. Your answer to that is “No, I am certainly NOT nice. Thank you for noticing.”

-Clarify the rules. Say exactly what you want him to know. For example, “Did I say you could enter my personal bubble?”

Most of the time you can clarify the rules with a simple statement as long as you smile. If you don’t laugh people will feel threatened, especially if you are cleaning your fingernails or picking your teeth with your bad-ass knife.

One last thought, if your mother would be offended about the way he’s acting, you should be, too. And it is best to let him know it. With a nice smile, of course.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.