I accidentally discovered the easiest solution ever for my weight problem.
If only I could market it, I’d be rich.
It happened when it dawned on me that, once my daughter moved back home to work, I would not be able to use her room as my office/personal huge closet. As I was removing all my collection of stuff, I realized that the longest mirror in the house was fixing to be off limits to me sometimes.
So I did what all sensible mothers would do under the circumstances.
I moved the mirror to my room and leaned it against the wall.
And, like Galilee and Thomas Edison and countless inventors before me, I had my own eureka moment when I accidentally looked in the mirror.
Things may appear skinnier than they are.
Apparently, when you look at a person at a certain angle, mostly as if you are looking up, they look really trim and tall. It was a new experience for me. Not unlike the trick mirrors at the county fair each year.
We possess another mirror that I have always claimed had similar secret powers. Now I suspect that this other mirror, too, has some kind of design flaw.
You might be a candidate for my leaning mirror trick...
- if you tell your girlfriends that girdles, not diamonds, are a girl’s best friend. And, yes, like me, you are getting old if you call them girdles, not bodyshapers or spanx.
-if you have strong opinion about the florescent lighting in retail dressing rooms ending with the phrase “I don’t see why we can’t have candle-light!”
-if you grab a pen and paper when your friend tells you her favorite recipe for her juicer.
-if you count the calories in chocolate as medicinal. Okay, maybe that has nothing to do with weight; that may be a female thing.
-you are pretty sure that a good belly laugh burns calories.
-you write columns about mirrors and you actually think someone else might care.
I call my new leaning mirror trick, “The Skinny Angle Principle.” I want credit for discovering it. I’m claiming that it is even more practical than, say, the law of gravity or Newton’s Law.
There are obviously some other easy ways to put the Skinny Angle Principle to work for us.
We can simply make it a habit to stand on stairs. We can bring stools with us to every social function. We can exclusively hang out with six-year-olds and similarly short people.
As a short person myself, I am also working on a corresponding theory: Tall people may not be as skinny as they appear. I find that comforting somehow.
The other good thing about this new discovery is that it gives me the perfect excuse not to bother with actually installing the mirror. It’s not like hanging a mirror will burn that many calories anyway, right?
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmasil.com.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Words We Don't Use
There is a three letter word we don’t use at our house and it starts with an f.
If you don’t know which word I mean, then you obviously have a good relationship with your bathroom scales.
At our house, we say soft. Or, my personal favorite, suave, which is the word for soft in espanol.
Suave. Don’t ya just love it?
Of course, no man wants to be referred to as soft, so we have masculine euphemisms, too.
My favorite is the way we refer to the tire around the middle of a middle-aged man as his security. You know, in the event of a famine, security could be useful. I am just practical that way.
I finally reached a truce with my scales. I ignore them and they consequently ignore me.
That was right before the scales broke, not that I cared.
My bathroom mirror, on the other hand, is a thing of delightful enchantment.
Don’t ask me how I became the happy owner of a mirror that invariably makes me look skinny, young, wrinkleless, and sag-free.
It was a gift from my mom-in-law for our first home.
How did she purchase the perfect gift? Perhaps from a wandering gipsy caravan? From a retired circus performer?
I don’t know, but I am pretty sure it is one of a kind and I am not sharing it.
I will certainly triple wrap the priceless mirror, if I ever have to move again, even to the nursing home. I am finally at an age to fully appreciate the worth of such a remarkable object.
It is possible that it is not the mirror at all. I could just be an anti-rexic. I always see myself as eighteen and quite skinny. This is clearly a psychic disorder, but I refuse to take medication for it.
Unfortunately, my closet is not so accommodating.
Somewhere between my bathroom mirror and my blue jeans, I gain ten pounds.
Good grief. I cannot explain this phenomenon; I only know that it is true. I can tell by the way I have to strain to get the jeans zipped and buttoned.
There are other f-words, of course. If you have an elementary school child, you already know that the kids at school use an f-word every time someone passes gas.
There’s the s-word too, which is for kids that are the opposite of smart.
And, if the s-word does not suffice, there is always the d-word.
I would tell you what the d-word is, but I’m no dummy.
Oops.
We don’t use those words at our house.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
If you don’t know which word I mean, then you obviously have a good relationship with your bathroom scales.
At our house, we say soft. Or, my personal favorite, suave, which is the word for soft in espanol.
Suave. Don’t ya just love it?
Of course, no man wants to be referred to as soft, so we have masculine euphemisms, too.
My favorite is the way we refer to the tire around the middle of a middle-aged man as his security. You know, in the event of a famine, security could be useful. I am just practical that way.
I finally reached a truce with my scales. I ignore them and they consequently ignore me.
That was right before the scales broke, not that I cared.
My bathroom mirror, on the other hand, is a thing of delightful enchantment.
Don’t ask me how I became the happy owner of a mirror that invariably makes me look skinny, young, wrinkleless, and sag-free.
It was a gift from my mom-in-law for our first home.
How did she purchase the perfect gift? Perhaps from a wandering gipsy caravan? From a retired circus performer?
I don’t know, but I am pretty sure it is one of a kind and I am not sharing it.
I will certainly triple wrap the priceless mirror, if I ever have to move again, even to the nursing home. I am finally at an age to fully appreciate the worth of such a remarkable object.
It is possible that it is not the mirror at all. I could just be an anti-rexic. I always see myself as eighteen and quite skinny. This is clearly a psychic disorder, but I refuse to take medication for it.
Unfortunately, my closet is not so accommodating.
Somewhere between my bathroom mirror and my blue jeans, I gain ten pounds.
Good grief. I cannot explain this phenomenon; I only know that it is true. I can tell by the way I have to strain to get the jeans zipped and buttoned.
There are other f-words, of course. If you have an elementary school child, you already know that the kids at school use an f-word every time someone passes gas.
There’s the s-word too, which is for kids that are the opposite of smart.
And, if the s-word does not suffice, there is always the d-word.
I would tell you what the d-word is, but I’m no dummy.
Oops.
We don’t use those words at our house.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Goals for 21 Year-Olds
“Do you think good kids are hereditary?” asked my friend as we walked along in my neighborhood. She was experiencing a rough patch with one of her kids and she was wondering why my children seemed so easy.
I laughed.
“I can’t wait to tell my parents you asked me that question!”
I was not only naughty as a youngster, but oh-so creative with my mischief. So, I don’t know, maybe that gave me an edge when it came to being hard to trick as a parent.
The more people get to know me, the more surprised they are that our kiddoes have turned out so well. How is it that an incredibly dysfunctional mom like me has such well-rounded, mature, respectful children?
Good question.
Anyway, I think setting goals helped focus my parenting.
Before your kids have finished high school and are attending college or working in their first real job, they should be able to:
-Successfully initiate relationships with and interact with people of all backgrounds and ages.
-Discern unhealthy friendships or motives in others and in themselves.
-Ask thoughtful, probing questions in order to respectfully understand other people’s perspective.
-Have a “Savings Account” of stored knowledge to draw on when handling Life’s big issues.
-Have a personal faith that continues to ask questions and sort information.
-Intentionally turn to wise people for advice.
-Speak and write clearly.
-Make clear, modern analogies in order to communicate about deeply held beliefs.
-Set personal goals based on the ambitions they have chosen for their life.
-Prioritize according to their life ambitions and current goals.
-Relax and enjoy the process of living, based on their priorities.
-Be grateful for life’s blessings and be able to express thankfulness.
-Recognize true authority and respect those who have it.
-Practice servant leadership, exercising authority by inspiring others.
-Recognize that they have intrinsic value and that they are loved unconditionally.
I saved the best for last. If you have time to do only one thing on this list before your child leaves home, make your focus unconditional love, even if that means tough love.
I make goals for myself, not just my kids.
It’s a good thing, too, because by age 21 kids have reached a point where the only goals that count are the ones they make for themselves.
Now, one of the goals on my personal list is to butt-out and let the grown kids live the lives they choose.
By the way, when I mentioned the question of hereditarily good kids to my parents, they just laughed.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
I laughed.
“I can’t wait to tell my parents you asked me that question!”
I was not only naughty as a youngster, but oh-so creative with my mischief. So, I don’t know, maybe that gave me an edge when it came to being hard to trick as a parent.
The more people get to know me, the more surprised they are that our kiddoes have turned out so well. How is it that an incredibly dysfunctional mom like me has such well-rounded, mature, respectful children?
Good question.
Anyway, I think setting goals helped focus my parenting.
Before your kids have finished high school and are attending college or working in their first real job, they should be able to:
-Successfully initiate relationships with and interact with people of all backgrounds and ages.
-Discern unhealthy friendships or motives in others and in themselves.
-Ask thoughtful, probing questions in order to respectfully understand other people’s perspective.
-Have a “Savings Account” of stored knowledge to draw on when handling Life’s big issues.
-Have a personal faith that continues to ask questions and sort information.
-Intentionally turn to wise people for advice.
-Speak and write clearly.
-Make clear, modern analogies in order to communicate about deeply held beliefs.
-Set personal goals based on the ambitions they have chosen for their life.
-Prioritize according to their life ambitions and current goals.
-Relax and enjoy the process of living, based on their priorities.
-Be grateful for life’s blessings and be able to express thankfulness.
-Recognize true authority and respect those who have it.
-Practice servant leadership, exercising authority by inspiring others.
-Recognize that they have intrinsic value and that they are loved unconditionally.
I saved the best for last. If you have time to do only one thing on this list before your child leaves home, make your focus unconditional love, even if that means tough love.
I make goals for myself, not just my kids.
It’s a good thing, too, because by age 21 kids have reached a point where the only goals that count are the ones they make for themselves.
Now, one of the goals on my personal list is to butt-out and let the grown kids live the lives they choose.
By the way, when I mentioned the question of hereditarily good kids to my parents, they just laughed.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Goals for 14 Year-Olds
The setting was a familiar one around East Texas, where on any given Sunday, folks gather together to be encouraged and challenged from the pulpit.
This Sunday was special because the youth pastor had the pulpit to speak to the youth. The rest of us old folks were just there to listen in. Sort of like eaves-droppin’ with an occasional “Amen, brother!” thrown in for good measure.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” quoted the youth pastor, looking out over a congregation that included his own two sons near the front where the youth group sat together.
Goal-setting is something we seldom think about when we are young. Unfortunately, even as parents we tend to forget, too. We set goals for work, for our personal finances, even for our family vacations, without ever thinking to set goals for the most important task we face.
With that in mind, here’s a list of goals for 14 year-olds that seem worthy of a parent’s attention. If it seems like a long list, it’s because 14 year-olds are old enough to be adult-like in many, if not all, of their decisions. Ideally, they should be able to:
-Communicate in a way that expresses love.
-Navigate relationships in a responsible and mature way.
-Prepare a simple meal and serve it to the family
-Meet the needs of small children for several hours without help.
-Correct and encourage small children.
-Be aware of their responsibility to be a role model.
-Be faithful to a future spouse whom they don’t know yet.
-Be careful and undistracting about fashion choices.
-Enjoy a reputation for being mature, kind, and responsible.
-Earn and save money.
-Forego instant gratification; not self-indulgent, but self-sacrificing.
-Recognize their own heart’s motivations.
-Recognize the advantage of correction; be willing to hear and act on it.
Okay, that’s a tall order, isn’t it?
It is a list for mature adults.
On the other hand, I was visiting the church that Sunday because I had been invited by one of their youth. An amazing young lady with a tender heart, and a backbone too, she has been a leader at my sons’ school in all the ways that make other parents smile. She and her parents are a constant source of encouragement to our family because they take the tough path, not the easy one when it comes to parenting.
To me, she is a perfect example of what her youth pastor spoke on that day; studying hard, looking toward the future with hope and confidence, and pointing others to Jesus.
Simple goals to talk about, but mighty powerful when it’s lived out in the life a young person.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.co
This Sunday was special because the youth pastor had the pulpit to speak to the youth. The rest of us old folks were just there to listen in. Sort of like eaves-droppin’ with an occasional “Amen, brother!” thrown in for good measure.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” quoted the youth pastor, looking out over a congregation that included his own two sons near the front where the youth group sat together.
Goal-setting is something we seldom think about when we are young. Unfortunately, even as parents we tend to forget, too. We set goals for work, for our personal finances, even for our family vacations, without ever thinking to set goals for the most important task we face.
With that in mind, here’s a list of goals for 14 year-olds that seem worthy of a parent’s attention. If it seems like a long list, it’s because 14 year-olds are old enough to be adult-like in many, if not all, of their decisions. Ideally, they should be able to:
-Communicate in a way that expresses love.
-Navigate relationships in a responsible and mature way.
-Prepare a simple meal and serve it to the family
-Meet the needs of small children for several hours without help.
-Correct and encourage small children.
-Be aware of their responsibility to be a role model.
-Be faithful to a future spouse whom they don’t know yet.
-Be careful and undistracting about fashion choices.
-Enjoy a reputation for being mature, kind, and responsible.
-Earn and save money.
-Forego instant gratification; not self-indulgent, but self-sacrificing.
-Recognize their own heart’s motivations.
-Recognize the advantage of correction; be willing to hear and act on it.
Okay, that’s a tall order, isn’t it?
It is a list for mature adults.
On the other hand, I was visiting the church that Sunday because I had been invited by one of their youth. An amazing young lady with a tender heart, and a backbone too, she has been a leader at my sons’ school in all the ways that make other parents smile. She and her parents are a constant source of encouragement to our family because they take the tough path, not the easy one when it comes to parenting.
To me, she is a perfect example of what her youth pastor spoke on that day; studying hard, looking toward the future with hope and confidence, and pointing others to Jesus.
Simple goals to talk about, but mighty powerful when it’s lived out in the life a young person.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.co
Goals for 6 Year-Olds
One of her goals for her children was to be able to write a clear, informative letter by the time they were teenagers.
“Goals?” I thought as my friend continued to share ideas with me.
As usual when faced with new information, I got out my pen and paper. Before the week was over I had my first list of parenting goals for my kiddoes.
Having measurable goals for my parenting, made it a lot easier for me to focus on what was really important and let the rest go.
Looking back, here’s the list of things I still think are worthy goals for parents of young children to focus on.
-To be able to play with other children without hurting or scaring anyone. Okay, I added the last part when we realized that raising a boy was going to be a different kind of challenge than raising girls.
-To use their imagination to empathize. At six, they are a little young still, but it is not too soon to begin to emphasize listening with empathy; hearing, respecting, and trying to undersdtand another person’s perspective. Kids always have imagination to spare; they’ll be more successful as adults if they learn this very important use of their imagination early in life.
-To straighten their room and make up their bed without supervision. Now I’ve lost ya, if you have small children, right? And if, like me, you still have a Junior High kid at home, the task seems endless. But, this is not about perfection as much as the attitude that “Trying counts.”
-To have a grateful heart about provision. By six, a child can start to view the blessings of food, clothing, home, and education as privileges, rather than entitlements.
-To be thankful for teachers. I view my kids’ education as my responsibility, so I am always grateful for help. This translates well into my kids’ hearts, especially when anyone other than mom helps them with math.
-To be a part of the family team. I really hate making them do chores; it is so much easier to do it myself. But nothing says “You are a part of this team” like depending on them to do their task to help everyone else.
-To be trustworthy with younger siblings or cousins. By six, they ought to know that it is necessary to be careful with little ones. If they are slow about developing in this important area, by six, it is time to double check with your pediatrician about other, more complicated, developmental issues.
Some of these goals seem hopelessly unrealistic, I know. On the other hand, when we keep at it, we experience success along the way.
In the case of goals, “Trying counts” turns out to be a good motto for parents as well as kids.
Dianne McGirr, this column is dedicated to you, a real friend to me.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
“Goals?” I thought as my friend continued to share ideas with me.
As usual when faced with new information, I got out my pen and paper. Before the week was over I had my first list of parenting goals for my kiddoes.
Having measurable goals for my parenting, made it a lot easier for me to focus on what was really important and let the rest go.
Looking back, here’s the list of things I still think are worthy goals for parents of young children to focus on.
-To be able to play with other children without hurting or scaring anyone. Okay, I added the last part when we realized that raising a boy was going to be a different kind of challenge than raising girls.
-To use their imagination to empathize. At six, they are a little young still, but it is not too soon to begin to emphasize listening with empathy; hearing, respecting, and trying to undersdtand another person’s perspective. Kids always have imagination to spare; they’ll be more successful as adults if they learn this very important use of their imagination early in life.
-To straighten their room and make up their bed without supervision. Now I’ve lost ya, if you have small children, right? And if, like me, you still have a Junior High kid at home, the task seems endless. But, this is not about perfection as much as the attitude that “Trying counts.”
-To have a grateful heart about provision. By six, a child can start to view the blessings of food, clothing, home, and education as privileges, rather than entitlements.
-To be thankful for teachers. I view my kids’ education as my responsibility, so I am always grateful for help. This translates well into my kids’ hearts, especially when anyone other than mom helps them with math.
-To be a part of the family team. I really hate making them do chores; it is so much easier to do it myself. But nothing says “You are a part of this team” like depending on them to do their task to help everyone else.
-To be trustworthy with younger siblings or cousins. By six, they ought to know that it is necessary to be careful with little ones. If they are slow about developing in this important area, by six, it is time to double check with your pediatrician about other, more complicated, developmental issues.
Some of these goals seem hopelessly unrealistic, I know. On the other hand, when we keep at it, we experience success along the way.
In the case of goals, “Trying counts” turns out to be a good motto for parents as well as kids.
Dianne McGirr, this column is dedicated to you, a real friend to me.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Teenage Mythology, Part 1
I glanced across at the 12 year-old person sitting next to me in the front seat of my mini-van. It was a gray day outside. I was taking my time as we drove home from an appointment with the pediatrician.
Not only were the tar roads slick as we passed pastures and small country churches, but I was alone with my oldest. One-on-one time with this special, God-designed creature was a thing to treasure.
“Mom, you won’t believe what the doctor said to me!” she exclaimed.
“She told me ahead of time what she was going to say, Hon. What did you think about it?”
“She just gave me permission to be bratty for the next, what? Eight years?” She looked at me to gauge my reaction. Her eyes were wide open.
I just grinned. I had nothing to worry about from Anna.
As parents, we all have times that we look back and wish we had paid more attention. On the other hand, occasionally we experience one of those rare moments which we recognize as significant even as it occurs. I was enjoying the moment.
“So, what did you think?”
And with that question I opened the door to a discussion I will never forget.
My 12-year old began to list for me things grown-ups believe about teenagers that are simply not true. Here’s the first half of her list:
-There is a category of people who are teenagers.
-People have permission to be bratty because they are teenagers.
-Even the most affectionate child will not be affectionate as a teenager.
-All teenagers are embarrassed by their parents.
-All teenagers reject their parents and rebel.
-If you are too strict with your teenagers, they will go wild in high school or college.
-Kids have a will of their own. Kids make bad choices because of free-will.
As we drove along she wrote these ideas and a bunch more on the back of an old envelope, the only scrap of paper I could find.
I wanted to review the doctor’s perspective with her.
“You have to remember, darlin’, pediatricians see young girls in their offices who are 12 and 13 and pregnant. These are young women who don’t even realize they are grown-ups, who find themselves pregnant. It’s hard for us to even imagine what kind of an adult would take advantage of a young girl that way.”
It was quiet in the car as she digested this information momentarily. I reflected on the how scary the world can be when you are the parent of the most precious three children on the face of the entire earth.
A few years later, when I asked if she would make a corresponding list of truths to replace the myths, she said no.
“People need to answer their own questions, Mom.”
Hmmm…pretty sage advice from a teenager.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Not only were the tar roads slick as we passed pastures and small country churches, but I was alone with my oldest. One-on-one time with this special, God-designed creature was a thing to treasure.
“Mom, you won’t believe what the doctor said to me!” she exclaimed.
“She told me ahead of time what she was going to say, Hon. What did you think about it?”
“She just gave me permission to be bratty for the next, what? Eight years?” She looked at me to gauge my reaction. Her eyes were wide open.
I just grinned. I had nothing to worry about from Anna.
As parents, we all have times that we look back and wish we had paid more attention. On the other hand, occasionally we experience one of those rare moments which we recognize as significant even as it occurs. I was enjoying the moment.
“So, what did you think?”
And with that question I opened the door to a discussion I will never forget.
My 12-year old began to list for me things grown-ups believe about teenagers that are simply not true. Here’s the first half of her list:
-There is a category of people who are teenagers.
-People have permission to be bratty because they are teenagers.
-Even the most affectionate child will not be affectionate as a teenager.
-All teenagers are embarrassed by their parents.
-All teenagers reject their parents and rebel.
-If you are too strict with your teenagers, they will go wild in high school or college.
-Kids have a will of their own. Kids make bad choices because of free-will.
As we drove along she wrote these ideas and a bunch more on the back of an old envelope, the only scrap of paper I could find.
I wanted to review the doctor’s perspective with her.
“You have to remember, darlin’, pediatricians see young girls in their offices who are 12 and 13 and pregnant. These are young women who don’t even realize they are grown-ups, who find themselves pregnant. It’s hard for us to even imagine what kind of an adult would take advantage of a young girl that way.”
It was quiet in the car as she digested this information momentarily. I reflected on the how scary the world can be when you are the parent of the most precious three children on the face of the entire earth.
A few years later, when I asked if she would make a corresponding list of truths to replace the myths, she said no.
“People need to answer their own questions, Mom.”
Hmmm…pretty sage advice from a teenager.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Teenage Mythology, Part 2
I have to confess that I don’t even believe in teenagers.
Personally, I think the concept is a figment of the imagination, a purely American invention.
My perspective is simple really.
Take, for example, the way folks are made. You have people who are too young to reproduce, i.e. children. And you have people who have reached the age of reproduction, i.e. adults. So straightforward.
Of course, I have friends who think my theory is crazy; that teenagers do, in fact, exist.
One such friend is a physician who has explained to me on more than one occasion the complicated physiological experiences unique to those years, especially at puberty.
Okay, but I remain unconvinced.
So what if puberty is the first stage of adulthood and it is a transition? Don’t we all know children who are mature and adults who are immature?
To me, calling one set of the adult population teenagers, just perpetuates the myth that they are excused to be immature until they are twenty.
Is that really what we want?
The following is the other half of a list my daughter began brainstorming as she entered the teenage years herself. We’ve added to the list along the way as a family. The rest of this list is posted on my blog as Teenage Mythology, Part 1.
Here are a few more of the myths about teenagers folks tend to believe are true in American culture.
-Teenagers are subject to hormones.
-Teenagers need to spend time with their peers to develop social skills.
-Dating is necessary to find a spouse.
-If you make kissing a “no-no,” they’ll do it more; the implication being that your child will then progress to more serious sexual activities.
-Homeschoolers are more mature than other teenagers. Or, the corresponding myth, homeschoolers are socially backward.
-It is good for teenagers to be in the youth group at church.
-Those clothes, haircut, tattoo, piercing, are a little on the edge, but you have to pick your battles.
-If you keep teenagers busy enough, they won’t have time for trouble. Or, if they are in enough sports, they will be too tired for trouble.
Sometimes, when I share this list with grown-ups, they have a hard time believing that the myths are not true. All, I can say is that the best lies always have a little truth mixed in.
So, if you find yourself puzzled by something on this list, and you are one of those people who can’t stand an unsolved riddle, feel free to contact me. I never cared much for riddles.
On the other hand, for those of us faced with the responsibility of parenting teenage people, it is worth puzzling it out.
To me, the concept of teenagers is an idea that has done enough damage.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Personally, I think the concept is a figment of the imagination, a purely American invention.
My perspective is simple really.
Take, for example, the way folks are made. You have people who are too young to reproduce, i.e. children. And you have people who have reached the age of reproduction, i.e. adults. So straightforward.
Of course, I have friends who think my theory is crazy; that teenagers do, in fact, exist.
One such friend is a physician who has explained to me on more than one occasion the complicated physiological experiences unique to those years, especially at puberty.
Okay, but I remain unconvinced.
So what if puberty is the first stage of adulthood and it is a transition? Don’t we all know children who are mature and adults who are immature?
To me, calling one set of the adult population teenagers, just perpetuates the myth that they are excused to be immature until they are twenty.
Is that really what we want?
The following is the other half of a list my daughter began brainstorming as she entered the teenage years herself. We’ve added to the list along the way as a family. The rest of this list is posted on my blog as Teenage Mythology, Part 1.
Here are a few more of the myths about teenagers folks tend to believe are true in American culture.
-Teenagers are subject to hormones.
-Teenagers need to spend time with their peers to develop social skills.
-Dating is necessary to find a spouse.
-If you make kissing a “no-no,” they’ll do it more; the implication being that your child will then progress to more serious sexual activities.
-Homeschoolers are more mature than other teenagers. Or, the corresponding myth, homeschoolers are socially backward.
-It is good for teenagers to be in the youth group at church.
-Those clothes, haircut, tattoo, piercing, are a little on the edge, but you have to pick your battles.
-If you keep teenagers busy enough, they won’t have time for trouble. Or, if they are in enough sports, they will be too tired for trouble.
Sometimes, when I share this list with grown-ups, they have a hard time believing that the myths are not true. All, I can say is that the best lies always have a little truth mixed in.
So, if you find yourself puzzled by something on this list, and you are one of those people who can’t stand an unsolved riddle, feel free to contact me. I never cared much for riddles.
On the other hand, for those of us faced with the responsibility of parenting teenage people, it is worth puzzling it out.
To me, the concept of teenagers is an idea that has done enough damage.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)