Motivating Your Child

How can I motivate this child?
I can’t count the number of years that the above prayer haunted my sub-conscious like an old, but annoying friend that I couldn’t seem to understand.
All parents find themselves in a tug of war with a lethargic, rebellious, or de-motivated child from time to time. In those moments, all the glory and victories of parenthood are forgotten amid the exhausting work of seemingly endless cajoling and pep-talking.
What’s a parent to do? Hang in there, I guess.
Then, one day, I was puttering through I John again for the zillionth time- okay, zillionth in any book of the Bible is an exaggeration for me- and… Eureka!
The answer to motivation jumped off the page. Why had I not seen it before!
The Bible is a collection of documents, not one book as is often assumed. I John is a short but informative document written as a public memo to answer the question, “Is my faith real?”
Anyway, lo and behold, there in verse 2:16 were three of the four categories of things that motivate kiddoes.
The Boastful Pride of Life, the Lust of the Eye, and the Lust of the Flesh.
“She’s got to be kidding!” could be what you are thinking right now as you read this.
Okay, I’ll admit it sounds far-fetched. That is, until you realize that those three categories are the main motivators of all humans, including parents, no matter what our age.
Tripping over the lingo? Yeah. Me, too.
Try this for a Texas-style paraphrase:
-The Boastful Pride of Life: Wanting to be the big cheese. Seeking fame and accolades from other humans. Peer pressure. Status seeking. Recognition for your hard work. Popularity contests. That kind of stuff. Oh.
-Lust of the Eye. Wanting stuff. Collecting stuff. Getting the best technology, sports car, fancy house, mink coat…Oops, for a minute there I forgot we were talking about kids.
-Lust of the Flesh. Well, besides the obvious, this is anything that makes us feel safe and special. Security. Abundance. Overeating.
There is one more category of motive that is described in Matthew 4. Matthew is the training manual for folks who want to follow Jesus.
The fourth category is the Desire to Respond to a Loving God by honoring Him. Hmmm…easier said than done.
As a parent, then, the challenge is to notice which motives surface in our children’s hearts and direct them toward a loving God who can inspire them to be loving like Him.
Or, just maybe, the real challenge is to notice what is motivating my own parental heart.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.