Grace and Stature

We reach an age when we measure years by the stature of the children we know. Has it been six months already we gasp when we run into a friend with a new baby. Can that be that the same curly headed child that used to stand on tiptoes at the counter we ask as we look up into the face of a teenager that is now taller than we are. I ran into one of my old friends recently. We were young once. She was third grade teacher to both my daughters. Many of our family’s favorite stories from their childhood happened in her classroom; learning with her was such a gentle, joyful, communal experience. Denise also taught our son-in-law. He was five years older than my daughter and already in junior high when our daughter reached third grade. The future lovebirds were oblivious to each other in those days of pre-pubescent, elementary learning. It is magical to look back at the process of growing up with the perspective of an old person. Not only your own childhood, but also your kids’ childhoods takes on a quality of foreshadowing in retrospect as you consider the way things unfold. To our family, there is something almost time-warped about Denise’s third grade classroom now. Denise grinned affectionately and shook her head, as if in bewilderment, at the thought of those two little ones, now all grown up and creating a home together. They are perfect for each other, opposites balancing each other out by delightful design, but who knew it back then? In third grade, his gangly legs, like the sprouting limbs of all little boys tucked under a miniature desk, were jittery, stillness eluding them ever few seconds. His mind struggled to focus while he was trying not to daydream about after school adventures with his brothers. A few years later, our daughter sat in the same classroom, her eager mind soaking up history and reading, always in the moment. I can easily picture her, like so many third-grade girls, with her hand raised, eager with an answer and a joyous smile. Her younger sister followed close behind, soaking up math and science, creating soccer anthems out of hymns on the playground with a close friend who is also all grown up now. As we age, we get to teach our kiddoes to extend grace to one another in school. Because we remember our own childhood and the idiosyncrasies of the kids we shared it with, we understand how those stories unfold. My son-in-law tells me that his clearest memory of third grade was the day his dad accidentally let a rat snake loose in Denise’s classroom. They don’t pay teachers enough. Perhaps one of the best rewards of experience is knowing how some of the stories turn out. Seeing kiddoes grow in grace and stature, a reward of age. Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

True love? Maybe.

Romance is in the air and with Valentine’s Day, that recurring question:
How do you know he’s the one?
Yep, it is the question that has plagued single women for centuries.
Okay, just decades. Since arranged marriages fell out of favor.
On a side note, most parents are still in favor of arranged marriages, but that is a different column.
Is it his darling smile?
Those crystal clear blue eyes?
The laugh?
Nah, women are a lot more practical than that.
One friend who leans toward math genius status in my world narrowed it down to a mathematical equation.
Thirty percent is intelligence, 30% personality, which basically means a sense of humor, and 30% looks. Not necessarily in that order.
The other 10% is all about the bonus points; he plays the guitar, likes to cook, likes to travel, is bilingual. You know, the random extras.
All that presupposes the man has a dynamic faith of his own. Because, let’s face it, marriage is a daily act of faith. Sometimes minute by minute.
I suspect for guys it is 100% looks, but that’s just a guess.
Still, I know lots of gals who fall for the wrong dude.
So, how do you know when he is Mr. Right?
Here’s my best advice:
1) You would follow him to Australia, be poor together, and think it was an adventure.
2) When you finally tell him your most guarded inadequacy, he chuckles.
3) You are both made more brilliant by each other.
By brilliant I mean, more luminous.
In other words, the super-shiney, God-inspired, walk-of-life ministry you do naturally as two separate people is more than doubled by your team effort.
We all know couples who epitomize the “Brilliant Principal of Romance.”
One of my favorite brilliant couples is using their retirement years to work with the youth at their church. Because of their faith and confidence, they are sometimes scolded by church folks who don’t quite get the beauty of drawing in the kids who need help the most. You know, the sort of kids that can make Christian folks uncomfortable.
The great thing about this brilliantly in-love couple is they think it’s fun to spend time with the misfit kids, the ones who need mentoring and encouraging.
Match made in heaven.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.