True love? Maybe.

Romance is in the air and with Valentine’s Day, that recurring question:
How do you know he’s the one?
Yep, it is the question that has plagued single women for centuries.
Okay, just decades. Since arranged marriages fell out of favor.
On a side note, most parents are still in favor of arranged marriages, but that is a different column.
Is it his darling smile?
Those crystal clear blue eyes?
The laugh?
Nah, women are a lot more practical than that.
One friend who leans toward math genius status in my world narrowed it down to a mathematical equation.
Thirty percent is intelligence, 30% personality, which basically means a sense of humor, and 30% looks. Not necessarily in that order.
The other 10% is all about the bonus points; he plays the guitar, likes to cook, likes to travel, is bilingual. You know, the random extras.
All that presupposes the man has a dynamic faith of his own. Because, let’s face it, marriage is a daily act of faith. Sometimes minute by minute.
I suspect for guys it is 100% looks, but that’s just a guess.
Still, I know lots of gals who fall for the wrong dude.
So, how do you know when he is Mr. Right?
Here’s my best advice:
1) You would follow him to Australia, be poor together, and think it was an adventure.
2) When you finally tell him your most guarded inadequacy, he chuckles.
3) You are both made more brilliant by each other.
By brilliant I mean, more luminous.
In other words, the super-shiney, God-inspired, walk-of-life ministry you do naturally as two separate people is more than doubled by your team effort.
We all know couples who epitomize the “Brilliant Principal of Romance.”
One of my favorite brilliant couples is using their retirement years to work with the youth at their church. Because of their faith and confidence, they are sometimes scolded by church folks who don’t quite get the beauty of drawing in the kids who need help the most. You know, the sort of kids that can make Christian folks uncomfortable.
The great thing about this brilliantly in-love couple is they think it’s fun to spend time with the misfit kids, the ones who need mentoring and encouraging.
Match made in heaven.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Red Shoe Philosophy

Valentine’s Day is not really about love at all. It is all about philosophy.

For this reason, I think it is important to note philosophical issues, especially the ones related to Valentine’s Day.

For instance, the Red Shoe Philosophy is one noteworthy theory that seems particularly relevant as Valentine’s Day approaches.

The Red Shoe Philosophy is simple: If you wear red shoes you will have a good day.

This semi-scientifically tested theory seems to hold true regardless of bad hair days, by the way. Or extra weigh gained over the holidays.

There is something so invigorating about a high-healed pair of red pumps.

I especially liked the picture I saw recently of a pair of red tennis shoes under a prom dress.

Or red cowboy boots; yeehaw!

Not only does a gal in red shoes walk with a little extra spring, she puts a smile on the face of anybody who happens to catch a glimpse of her lipstick-colored footwear.

The reason I think the Red Shoe Philosophy is relevant for Valentine’s Day is because a lot of single gals detest this holiday.

There’s something so disappointing for single gals about the heartbreaking combination of a holiday that emphasizes chocolate and having no one to give you any.

Having the right philosophy is self-empowering.

The great news is, you get to choose your own podiatral adornments. And shoes don’t add calories to your diet.

Like a gal in a zippy red sports car, you can leave all those single guys idling in the wake of your glimmering, flashes of self-confidence.

Or for the guy who is the lucky lover of a gal who buys into the whole Red Shoe Philosophy, here’s another philosophical pearl that is sure to come in handy when you rush out at the last minute in a Valentine’s Day buying panic.

Gals love shoes. Especially red ones. Hint, hint.

So, for the guy desperately trying to please his sweetheart, some pertinent philosophical perspectives seem especially relevant this time of year.

Just buy jewelry.

Or check in her closet for her shoe size.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

True Love and the Wow Factor

How do you know when its true love?

Sometime between Valentine’s Day and spring weddings, every single gal on the planet finds herself asking that all-important, suspense-filled question.

The answer is simple. It’s the wow factor.

Of course, men and women are wowed by different things.

We’ve all seen the gorgeous, super-model girl with the short, bespectacled guy. Men never understand how that happens but, of course, women get it.

“It’s 30% looks + 30% personality + 30% intellect + 10% bonus stuff,” says one very wise gal I know, explaining it like a math formula.

Bonus stuff is nonessential, but fun extras like bilingual, athletic, rich, ambitious, musical; you get the idea.

If a guy plays the guitar that’s an unfair advantage because no woman on the planet can resist a strummy love song.

I may be wrong but I think the guys’ formula is straight up: 100% looks.

That’s probably why men think we are complicated, ladies; our equation involves addition.

Men-in-love are a fascinating species, especially East Texas men. Trained to hunt from the time they are tots, our young fellows study up on their intended with dedication and devotion that borders stalking.

That, too, seems unfair because we all know that no young woman on the planet can resist the attention of a cute guy.

Gals, if a guy is not intense about you, or if you are doing too much work to keep his interest, he is not your Mr. Right. I say dump him immediately because he’s just standing between you and The One. Plus, single gals have a lot more fun and freedom without a half-hearted suitor driving ‘em crazy. And I respectfully suggest that he’s got better things to do than waste his time with you.

All this presupposes faith because fear is no way to build a relationship.

Personally, since I don’t do math, I have a right-brain theory. It involves a little science.

“Trust the Chemistry of the Universe.”

According to this theory of science and the laws of attraction, since the Designer of the Universe is Good, somehow, when we meet “the one,” our strengths will gel. Our weaknesses will serve to help us mature. Eventually. With a lot of prayer probably.

There will even be fire-works. Hopefully, mostly the good kind.

There are some women who will argue my theory about chemistry because they seem to be magnets for every naughty boy within 100 miles.

For those ladies, I have an amended hypothesis, “Trust the Chemistry, but DON’T check your brain at the door!”

And try to enjoy the suspense.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

How to Give Your Sweetheart a Gun Without Getting Shot

I have a friend who got a gun as a gift from her husband.
Yeah, it’s been several weeks since Christmas and they’re still married. Can you believe it?!
I suspect the sudden urge to purchase unregistered firearms and give them as gifts has something to do with the fact that the Democrats are back in power.
I am not kidding when I say that many East Texans are picking up unregistered guns at gun shows just in case gun control becomes a popular legislative topic again. (For more on Second Amendment rights see my column titled “Amendment #2: Guns,” posted on my blog.)
I asked my friend if she was disappointed that her gift didn’t come with more sparkle, the kind found in gifts of a more geological nature, like, say, diamonds.
She shared, with a twinkle in her eye, that she thought her husband was inviting her into his world. She was honored that he views her as his favorite companion.
Wow. I’m not sure who impressed me more; the wife who had such an understanding heart or the husband who took a chance and managed to communicate so well.
I found her attitude about the whole thing inspiring.
So, in case any guys out there are considering a gun for their sweetheart for Valentine’s Day, here are some suggestions on how to give a gift of weapons, without having it backfire.
-Do what my friend’s husband did and make sure she understands that being your hunting buddy means quality time together.
-Give her a card with those sentiments first, so she understands your intentions before she is holding an unwrapped, unregistered weapon in her hands.
-Hide the ammo, until you are positive she understands.
-If she points the new gun at you, run.
Better yet, give her jewelry first, before she opens the gun.
Call me materialistic, but I find it somewhat unromantic to be reminded about household chores or to suggest that I might want to hunt for my food. So, we have a new gift rule at our house, just in case my husband confuses rifles, vacuums, tools, or household items as gifts.
The rule is simple, if it goes on earlobes or feet, it is an appropriate gift, especially if it comes in gold, silver, or shiny.
I’m only writing about guns as gifts because I think my friend deserves the “Wife of the Year Award.” I think her husband knows it, too.
I’m pretty sure all his friends, including my husband, are jealous cus he has such a cool wife.
So, buy your sweetheart a gun for Valentine’s if you must, but while you’re at the gun store, be a sweetheart and throw in ear protection.
To go over those nice shiny earrings that came in the velvet box. Just in case.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Valentine Fantasies for Men

Today’s column is for gals only. Just in case you haven’t already figured out how guys think.
Essentially, God created Eve by cloning Adam who contributed his DNA from a rib bone while under general anesthesia.
Supernatural, but not too complicated when you think about it.
If only He had stopped there.
For some delightful and usually entertaining reason, God decided to go one step further and change a chromosome.
One little Y to X. One small step backwards in the alphabet.
Thus, we are doomed to spend our whole life trying to figure out the opposite sex.
When he woke up and saw the outcome of God’s imaginative creation, Adam’s immediate response was the equivalent of “Yee-hah!!!” If Adam had been from Texas, you understand.
Probably because Adam thought he was still dreaming.
Later on his life got a little bit more complicated. Face it gals, we tend to have that affect in our guy’s life.
Take, for instance the difference between the fantasies women have and the ones their male counterparts have.
“Sex and body parts,” was what one guy told me when I asked what men fantasize about for Valentines Day. Simple enough.
I verified that he meant still-attached body parts. Then, I changed the subject. Quickly.
One gentleman told me his fantasies were “not appropriate for publication.” His wife was standing next to him, grinning. I’m guessing that he’s going to have a Happy Valentines Day.
So, gals, if you need a little help thinking creatively, here’s my almost entirely uncensored research.
-Garters are good.
-Anything that combines sex and golf, not necessarily at the same time and not if you beat him on the golf course.
-Horses, especially stallions. Don’t ask me, I can’t explain it.
-Motorcycles, with or without sex. Guys just like motorcycles.
Apparently, men are not complicated. This came as a shock to me because I have all sorts of trouble figuring them out. But they tell me that they are pretty straight forward.
“Shallow, men are shallow,” says one male friend.
I am starting to believe him, although, for a shallow person, that guy is a credit to his gender.
It turns out that men pretty much fantasize about sex a lot and that has nothing to do with Valentines Day.
Unless they are on the golf course, in which case they fantasize about hole-in-ones.
Hmm….Never mind, I can’t go there.
To all the golfers out there, notice how I try to work your favorite game into every column.
To all those who shared their fantasies and trusted me when I promised not to include their names, thanks.
To all those who are without a sweetheart this year, ahhh, the perfection of simplicity.
To all the gals out there, trying to plan something exciting for Valentines Day, look at it this way. Your job is easy.
On the other hand, he is probably struggling to find the right Valentine for you. Or he will be on Wednesday the 13th at 5:00 in the afternoon.
Make that February the 14th at 5:00pm when he remembers he is having dinner with you for Valentine’s Day.
It is just that he honestly can’t figure you out because you are a gal and he is not.
For Valentines Day, my research indicates we gals should give our guys a break and keep it simple. Just this once.


Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her true love and their offspring. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.co or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Valentines Fantasies for Female

Heads up, guys, Valentine’s Day is next week.
Today’s column is for guys only. If you are female, do NOT read any further.
Unless, of course, you want to clip it and stick it under his nose for some not-so- subtle hinting.
“This is how the day would start,” began one lady in a conspiratorial undertone when I approached a table of women about their fantasies.
Already her friends were laughing.
“A whole day; she has a whole day planned!” She is single, but her friends are married women which probably explains a lot. She ignored their teasing and continued with a dreamy look on her face.
“Flowers would arrive in the morning. Then, he would call and tell me to show up at a certain time at a hotel. When I arrive, there would be candles, soft music, and a bath drawn,” she continued.
At this point her friends were hysterically joking about hand cuffs.
“Bubbles. Us in the bathtub together. He would wash my hair because I think that’s really sexy.”
We put our heads in closer over the table as she whispered the rest because we were starting to draw stares from around the restaurant.
“Chocolate-covered strawberries.”
“What about jewelry,” asks one of her practical married friends.
“Oh yeah, jewelry would be good.”
She called the next part of her fantasy “Wild Thing.” It involved cowboy boots, ropes, and spurs.
I was afraid to ask who would wear the spurs.
There are themes in female fantasies that usually include seemingly opposite components; spontaneity AND forethought. In fact, forethought and foreplay might be synonyms, guys. If that seems contradictory, it is because we are women and, well, we don’t think like men. Sorry.
Here are some other thoughts that might make female fantasies more clear. No, on second thought, probably not, but maybe it will inspire you guys.
-Wow! Finish our kitchen!
-Just the fact that he remembered is romantic.
-Bring it home, no eating out, with flowers, candy, and a gleam in his eye.
-Picnics with friends.
-Poetry or letters telling her how much you value her.
-Time together.
-A surprise romantic get away to a bed and breakfast.
-A new wedding ring; a huge one.
-Dinner that he prepares.
-Time without the children.
-Shoes are a great gift because they are easy to fit and girls always like them.
-Jewelry, jewelry, and more jewelry.
So, here’s the big hint guys: Give some thought to an attentive surprise for your sweetheart and your fantasies will probably come true too.
I am thinking the cowboy boots might come in handy.
Next week’s column is about what guys want for Valentines Day and it’s a doozy. Stay tuned.


Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her sweetheart and their kiddoes. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.