Motivating Your Kids: Inspirational Parenting

Unconditional commitment inspires devotion.
On the other hand, conditional commitment breeds rebellion.
We all long for unconditional love, but in reality, we don’t necessarily recognize it.
As parents, we find unconditional love difficult to practice. Probably because our heart tells us that we love our kids passionately and unconditionally, but our attitudes and actions sometimes convey a different message to our kiddoes.
“Get every last spot off that dish before you put it in the cabinet,” says the parent with the intention of teaching thoroughness.
“I only love you, if you get it right,” hears the kid who identifies an unspoken threat of rejection or anger from the parent checking for spots.
Anger can be a tool for controlling others.
Inspiration is the antidote for using anger or complaining to control others, especially our children. If, as a parent, you catch yourself threatening your kiddoes, it is time to rethink your strategies.
So, how does unconditional love sound to a kid?
“Well, you are going to need a new bike. I’ll pay for half and because you were irresponsible, you will have to pay for the other half,” says the wise parent to the junior high kid who left his bike out on the corner the night it was stolen.
Paying for half communicates to the child that irresponsibility has consequences, but we all make mistakes. Even mom and dad. So, we stand together and help each other.
Of course, depending on the age of the child and frequency of the mistake, sometimes a loving parent will only provide encouragement, not money, while the kid works to pay off the consequences.
Unconditional commitment says I am committed to what is best for you.
What is best is not always what a kid wants, though, is it? It costs a lot to stay the course as a parent.
We say “no” when “yes” is so much easier and simpler.
Saying no, when your kiddoes want to hang out at the mall, may mean that you have lots of kids at your house instead.
Unconditional commitment can be costly and I’m not just talking snack food here.
You may have to listen to their complaints as they try to persuade you to do things their way. Or their temper tantrums as they slam doors or fuss.
Oh well.
A few years down the road, your kids be the ones telling your grandkids, “No, you can’t hang out at the movie theater and wouldn’t it be so much nicer to stay home and play board games while your grandparents visit instead?”
They’ll be the ones inspired to do what is best for their kids. Rather than controlling their kiddoes, they’ll be looking for ways to inspire them, too.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.