Do NOT Glue Your Fingers Together

“Mom, these instructions say not to glue your fingers together,” said my son in reference to the new model kit I bought him.
He’s making a snappy-looking F-106 Delta Dart that requires paint, super glue, but no screw drivers.
I bought him two tiny screwdrivers anyway. Just because a boy is bound to need tiny screwdrivers for something.
At school this past year, one of his friends tried unsuccessfully to glue four fingers together. Fortunately, it is a law of nature that no boy can be still long enough for Elmer’s glue to set. That’s probably why super glue never makes the back-to-school supply list.
Somebody pointed out that boys come equipped with an automatic delete function for the “not” in all Mom’s sentences? Good point.
It follows that while mom is emphasizing the “not” in the following sentences, the boy is hearing “definitely DO this.”
Do not stick those screwdrivers in the electrical socket.
Do not play with matches.
Do not point the BB gun at your friend.
Do not parachute off the roof with a towel.
Do not cut your own hair. Do not cut your little brother’s hair.
Do not pester your sister.
Do not put Blackcat firecrackers in the fireplace.
There is a correlating principle that suggests that boys reverse the words “always” and “never,” as in the following examples.
Always make up your bed.
Always keep your room clean, just in case you get invited to play airsoft.
Never stand in the front yard and moon the neighbors.
Never use gasoline to start a fire.
I suppose it is a rite of passage for boys to do things that their moms don’t like. A rite of passage for moms, you understand.
The process causes moms to grow up and face the fact that our sons will be men some day. Being a man is a very different state of existence than the one we exist in as females. So, it follows that they will do things that our daughters never even thought of.
Raising a boy will make a man out of ya.
Unless you are the child’s mother, in which case you will be scratching your head and turning to your husband with the words, “Well, he is your son.”
I guess my son is growing up; he has painted the fighter jet without spilling the paint even once.
The question remains, though. Can he reach adulthood while resisting the urge to glue his fingers together with super glue? I’ll keep ya posted.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.