Water-cooler Talk about Divorce

“Divorce was not an option, but homicide was,” laughed my friend who had chalked up sixty years of wedded bliss with her husband.
Unfortunately, the plain truth is that divorce is frequently an option.
Not just around the water cooler at work, but with anyone willing to listen, guys want to talk about their marriage when they get hurt, frustrated, and angry.
Unfortunately, there’s a pattern:
First, they blame their spouse. The guy thinking of bailing on his marriage always has a crazy wife, have you noticed? She isn’t taking her meds. His life is hell.
Next, they complain that they haven’t had sex in a long time. This is when the other guys suggest it might be time to consider divorce because who in the world could go without sex, right?
As a woman, I’d like to respond to those two ideas.
First, heads up, fellas! Desperation may look a lot like crazy, but it’s not the same thing. A woman who recognizes that her marriage is failing is going to feel desperate.
You could take her desperation as a compliment. It probably means that she still loves you. So quit blaming her and take responsibility because as a husband, you are the head of your home.
Now, about sex, here’s a news flash, fellas. Women are designed by God to like sex just as much as men. It’s a primal thing. So, if your wife is not responding to your overtures, there is probably something else working against you.
There are a lot of things it could be and I’m not a therapist. But don’t miss a chance to gently initiate conversation and changes on this issue. Your leadership could pay off in the long run in many ways, including with really great sex.
Next time you are standing at the water-cooler with a friend who is struggling, please don’t say divorce is not an option.
Instead, remind him that victory always comes with a high price. Encourage him to put on his game face and get off the bench. Please tell him that you’re on his team.
Then, the water-cooler conversation can get back to talking about your favorite teams.
We all have our favorite hero athletes, but these days the real hero is the one working to make his marriage function well. And the friends who encourage him to stay in the game.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklischarlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve.gmail.com.