Motivating your employees, not babysitting them, Part 3

Hasn’t entitlement overtaken our national conscience?
Somebody owes me something all the time now, it would seem.
My grandparents would roll over in their graves if they heard the attitude commonly purveyed in our culture now. Modest folks with not a penny to spare, my grandparents worked hard. Never would they have demanded an education or health care. I bet yours were the same way.
It simply never entered their minds to demand anything.
If they wanted something, they worked for it.
Expecting someone else to pay for stuff, even with tax dollars, would have seemed like thievery to them.
So what motivated that generation and how can we motivate those around us?
Folks are basically motivated by four things – stuff, security, significance, and, finally the biggie, a vision combined with a solid relationship with the one in authority. If you missed the first part of this three-part series, you can find it on this paper’s website.
Business owners simply cannot afford to “babysit” their employees; that is, they cannot treat employees like dependant children.
Everyone I know who is employed right now is getting paid one salary to do the job of two people. We are living in an economy when folks are being forced to grow up and behave like hard-working adults.
Simply put, a business owner does his employees a favor when he manages his business well, finding the right balance between providing customer services and keeping expenses down.
In the work place, training your employees to take ownership of your business is a crucial part of success.
Because of the shifting employment picture, it is crucial to offer your employees opportunities to acquire skills while they are gainfully employed by you. That does not have to involve expensive classes. It can be as simple as cross-training employees so they can cover for each other.
One bonus to cross training is that team unity happens when people appreciate each other’s skills.
Did our grandparents miss the privileges we take for granted, like education and health care? Did not having stuff make our grandparents bitter?
No, it made them resourceful and grateful. Working hard gave them confidence. It made them generous.
Some of us are old enough to remember those days.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Empty Suitcases

We only keep what we give away.
When a young mom gave birth to her first son, she received lots of presents from friends who knew she didn’t have anything for a boy.
One gift stood out, though. Rather than buy a gift, this friend, the mother of two older boys, went to her own sentimental box and gift-wrapped a Baby’s First Christmas bib and a beautiful piece of art from her own nursery.
A few months later, at the crack of dawn, the young mother received a phone call. The friend’s house had burned down in the night.
In the days that followed, it became clear that the only mementos her friend would be able to retrieve, like pictures of her children, were going to be the ones she had given away to grandparents and friends, including a bib and a piece of art from her own nursery.
I know this is a true story because my friend gave me the bib and the art when my son was born.
Recently, a lady told me a story about her husband, which illustrates the truth about hilarious giving.
This family makes regular trips to a beloved third world country, but on their first trip, they were overwhelmed by all the physical needs that go unmet daily in that place.
As they were packing to return home that first time, her husband suddenly flipped over his suitcase and dumped all the contents on the bed.
“We are giving this all away,” he announced with excitement.
Knowing how Americans travel, I can easily imagine a suitcase stuffed with blue jeans, t-shirts, button-downs, and several pairs of shoes, all things of extreme value in a country where people often go hungry and barefoot.
Having made many friends in the weeks they were there, they immediately found folks who received the goods joyously.
“Who wants this shirt? Who needs flip flops?”
Imagine the excitement as they tossed each item across a room crowded with folks who had gathered to see them off.
Her husband left with empty suitcases, but I bet his heart was full.
And imagine how he blessed his own wife and kiddoes.
We only keep what we give away.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Motivating Your Employees (Trustworthy Leadership), Part 2

Motivating your employees can be tough in a suppressed economy, especially when fear is the key economic ingredient from the purveyors of the national news.
So, how do you encourage confidence in your employees, rather than fear?
Folks are basically motivated by four things – stuff, security, significance, and, finally the biggie, a vision combined with a solid relationship with the one in authority. If you missed the first part of this three-part series, you can find it on this paper’s website.
The first three motivators are important and can make a good boss even more effective.
However, a terrific boss creates a vision and secures the trust of his employees.
How?
Creating a vision is simple. Figure out how you are serving your customers. Now put that into one sentence.
In a free market, if you serve people, success will follow. If your employees understand that they are offering something that is worthwhile, they will feel like their days at work are valuable.
Having a solid relationship with your employees can be a little more challenging.
One man I know told me that if people did not treat him right, he would teach them to respect him by force.
He had respect and fear confused.
You earn people’s trust, not by scaring them to death, by being trustworthy.
You earn their respect by being trustworthy for a long period of time.
So, how does trustworthy look?
The trustworthy person does what is hard and sacrificial.
The trustworthy person puts other people’s interests ahead of his own.
He tells the truth. If he doesn’t know how his business will survive in these uncertain times, he keeps his employees posted so they can make wise decisions.
He leads in giving them opportunities to help each other by setting an example when life throws out a curve ball like cancer or family crises.
He doesn’t treat them like dependant children, instead he rejoices at the opportunities they have to gain skills and knowledge.
Most importantly, his employees know that there are certain lines he won’t cross.
Leadership just means creating opportunities for employees to follow their heart.
Serving others, both customers and employees, is the hallmark of successful business owners.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com

Effectively Motivating Your Employees

Basically, people are motivated by four things, reward, comfort, affirmation, and finally, most effectively, by commitment to a greater goal, combined with a solid relationship to the one in authority.
Coaches, especially good ones, naturally motivate using these techniques on the court and field. Unfortunately, some bosses didn’t get the memo.
Panic mode is especially tempting during a recession. The panicky boss is going to rely on fear as a primary source of adrenalin. Usually threatening scenarios include eminent deadlines, declining revenue, job cutbacks.
Scary stuff and pretty motivating in the moment. But those kind of panic-ridden pep talks from the boss usually only motivate a staff to polish their resumes and surf website job listings.
So, how to move from fear-based incentives to visionary leadership?
Start by recognizing that each individual on your staff only has four basic motives. Next, identify what motivates each individual.
As humans we all crave the first three: reward, comfort, and affirmation.
The Bible describes them as “the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, and the boastful pride of life.” Forget the sermons you’ve heard about how naughty those things are and just think of them as part of our natural design; God’s design of humans.
Lust of the Eye is simply the desire for the stuff we can see and measure, like a nice home for our family, reliable transportation, a good education.
Wanting your neighbor’s wife is NOT what Lust of the Flesh is about, although she might seem enticing for a split second right before he shoots you. Lust of the Flesh is actually the stuff we need on a physical and emotional level; things that make us feel safe and comfortable. Things like food, clothing, and loved ones in our life are highly motivating.
Finally, the Boastful Pride of Life is simply respect. Men in particular have a need to feel that they are respected by the people who matter to them, especially their boss. Women need to feel affirmed and appreciated. Notably, there is a slight, but significant difference between respect and affirmation.
The real measure of a good boss is moving past the basic human motivators to becoming a visionary leader who motivates on that fourth level, beyond emotional to the spiritual level.
Jesus demonstrated an understanding of all four in Matthew 4:1-11 when His enemy tempted Him in the desert.
Of course, He was ultimately motivated by a vision of the future and a solid relationship with the One over Him in authority.
Now that’s powerful, spiritual motivation.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

A Texan In Paris

“Remember: English is the language of domination,” shouted our tour guide.
Then, demonstrating a football stiff arm, he explained our strategy for getting safely past aggressive city taxicabs.
“Dominate!”
In a group that represented the US, Canada, England, and Australia, we were fitted for bikes. The shiny red bikes had names like Cupcake and the blue ones had manly names like Road Runner. And Road Kill.
“That guys is from Texas and I bet 10 Euros, he is Pine Cove trained,” I whispered to my daughters as our Fat Tire Tour in Paris began.
What are the odds? My daughters didn’t believe me.
“I’m tellin’ ya, I bet he’s from Fredericksburg,” I insisted.
Paris is a cosmopolitan city, a place where people from everywhere come to bask in the richness of some of the best art collections in the world.
It is also the capital of a country that designates a whole government agency to preserving the French language from English intrusions.
Not an easy task in an age of “Le Ipad.”
My oldest daughter pedaled up front and began small talk.
Turns out I was wrong about one thing.
The guy was from San Antonio.
His camp name was Opa; Andrew is his real name.
You might be wondering how I recognized the Pine Cove influence, but only if you have never met a Pine Cove Christian Camps counselor.
Maybe it was the way he knew how to make it fun for everyone else.
Maybe it was the attentive way he made his customers feel like friends.
Pine Cove has this way of turning men into servant leaders.
I hate to admit this, but Texas A&M didn’t hurt him any either. When we met, Andrew was finishing up a stint with Fat Tire Tours, then beginning a career in California doing something fancy. I can’t remember what exactly.
One thing I know, with a servant’s heart and a ton of confidence, Andrew is sure to be successful.
Maybe domination isn’t the first word that comes to mind when you think about successful servant leaders or international detent.
But when it comes to competing in a global market, having an attitude and a skill set that stands out - because it is based in faith, not fear - is exactly what we want for our kiddoes. Andrew was easy to pick out of the crowd.
So I say, “Dominate.”
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Heroic Mothers

You won’t read about her in history books.
In fact, you almost wouldn’t read about her at all, except for one small thing; her son mentioned her. I was interviewing her son and daughter-in-law about their experiences growing up in segregated East Texas for a series I am doing on African American high schools in our region.
It turns out his mom sowed the seeds of justice in his heart in the 1950s when he was just a young kid.
What she did was simple.
She loaded up a pickup truck with every brave soul she could find who would participate in her well-intentioned misadventure.
She was the mother of eleven children; I admire her courage for that alone.
The pickup was loaded with a cargo of humans who were mostly her offspring and a few close friends who didn’t have the heart to say no to this determined woman. The stakes were high for her, based on who was in the back of that truck.
Their small band of parents and children, not much of an army, stormed the Brownsboro school district’s administration building in broad day light, walked right into the Superintendent’s office, and demanded enrollment with the white students of Brownsboro Independent School District.
David and Goliath. No odds maker in his right mind would take that bet.
In fact, nothing much changed.
Some of her neighbors thought she was crazy for stirring up trouble and they didn’t mind telling her so, but that was about it.
Nothing changed, except for the seeds planted in the hearts of her kids.
She didn’t know she was heroic.
Gertrude Cofer Evans of Moore Station, Texas.
Remember that name.
Not because she would want the attention. Not because you’ll ever see it in a history book.
But because she stood up for what was right.
And she taught her kids do so.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

What’s Next? Life after kids

There’s life after kids.
“You’ve got 30 more years,” said one friend recently, “That’s a lifetime of things you could do.”
Once parents get over the shock of sending their last nestling out the door, guess what? An empty nest turns out to be fabulous, especially having time to focus on grown-up stuff.
If you are facing May with trepidation as your youngest graduates from high school, now is a great time to make a list entitled “What’s Next” and post it on the fridge.
To get you started, here are some categories of things you have probably been wishing you had time for the last, oh say, eighteen plus years.
Serve the Community. Nonprofits, like for instance Habitat for Humanity’s Rehabitat program, can always use willing hands. I also like the idea of animal therapy programs, like using horses to help special needs kiddoes or dogs to visit the elderly.
Seek Justice. Groups like CASA and the East Crisis Center serve those who have been the victims of violence.
Pursue a New skill. Think of all the high-tech photography or video editing that is available now. Or what about something you always wanted time for, like a painting class at TJC?
Start a Second Careers. With a recession, this could be a terrific time to try something new on the side.
Ministry. Give a single mom a break with a little house or yard work. Or get involved with a prison ministry.
Travel. Colleges offer trips at student-inspired low prices. Take a trip with your almost grown kids. Better yet, line up a weekend with your siblings sans offspring. Or travel to a third world country and build a water well.
Politics. Run for school board or city counsel. Attend a party convention or walk your block for candidates.
Write your memoirs. Or tape a video of family history for the grandkids and beyond.
Volunteer in a public school. Adopt a school.
In fact, with so many fun things waiting to do, your kids may have to call ahead to get on your calendar.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Power of the Spoken Word

As a parent, if you learn anything in life, you learn that teenagers are full of truth.
‘Course it can come at the most unexpected times and in the most unusual ways.
“People can use their words for good, of course, but they can also use them for destruction,” said my current favorite teenager on the way to middle school one morning.
Really? Did he really just open up that conversation, I thought, as I grappled with the idea that we were fixing to have a serious discussion before I finished my first cup of caffeine.
His point was simple.
He had been observing at school that while kids were frequently just awful with the stuff they said to each other – no news there – that, well, a kind word could give vision to a kid who didn’t have many positive thoughts directed his way.
It reminded me that God’s word is a two-edged sword, but in a different kind of way.
Both “sword edges” of God’s word are for good because He is Himself good.
Whether His word convicts our hearts or confirms our wholesome convictions, His message serves us in good ways. Always, His thoughts and His ideas are for the benefit of those who love Him.
At the same time, His message is also always for the benefit of those who reject Him. Even as people run from God and reject Him, He still seeks them out in love.
In other words, because God is wholly good, His message is good at every level and in every way for anyone, even those who hate Him. He is just that good.
On the other hand, people are not 100% good. Basically, our words are a two- edged sword that reflects the duality of our nature – the desire to be selfish and the desire to be unselfish.
Is there any place where that is more obvious than middle school?
“I just told him he is intelligent, Mom,” said my son, “I don’t think many people tell him that.”
Using truth to create hope.
What a truth-full teenager!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Bond woes and other questions

With the state budget shortfall promising to ravage ISD budgets as soon as next fall, now is a great time to take a hard look at how bond proposals can fail, especially during a recession.

A case in point is the TISD bond proposal that failed most recently.

As early as 1976, the TISD lost what proved to be a string of bond proposals that the taxpayers refused to endorse. Until the passage of the elementary school packages in recent years, it could be argued that Smith County had some pretty tight-fisted citizens.

So, why didn’t Smith County taxpayers continue supporting desperately needed middle schools?

Is it just the recession, as some have suggested?

I don’t think so.

There are at least two race-related questions that were never addressed in the Vote Yes campaign.

First, by building the initial middle school on the south side are we in denial about the lingering affects of racism that haunt the north side of town?

It could be argued that building where there is already an over-population of students simply makes sense. Granted, Tyler’s long-range plans are a step in the right direction for seeing economic growth on the north side of town.

However, I think the public wants to be assured that civic leaders, including TISD officials, are committed to an undivided city. Officials owe it to the taxpayers to explain how building the first middle school in south Tyler will benefit the city in the long run, not just immediately.

Second, is bussing really a cost effective way to manage our student demographics in a culture that is – thankfully - more racially integrated than it once was?

Did you know that bussing is an expense left over from the days when African American parents consolidated their church-based schools in order to offer opportunities similar to those afforded in white schools? Bussing was not actually a solution to the problem of segregation; it was one of the symptoms. Just ask any African American old enough to remember being bussed past white schools in the 40s and 50s. School districts of the 50s would provide a bus to black high schools in order to avoid letting black and white children attend together.

The budget issues facing the TISD are complex. With the state budget shortfall, now is a great time to rethink our traditional ways of paying for education.

I remember 1976 because I was a junior at Robert E. Lee High School and part of a group that campaigned in favor of the bond issue.

If Tyler desperately needed new school buildings 30 years ago, there can be no doubt that we need them more than ever now.

I hope the right issues get addressed next time around.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Public Education and Hypocrisy

The public schools are educating kids for about the same price tag as the private schools in East Texas, based on the Texas Comptroller’s Financial Allocation Study for Texas or FAST report.

I think that’s pretty big news, especially when you consider the public schools can’t just bounce out the kids who misbehave and cause chaos in the classroom.

The classroom is not the place for social services, along with naughty to violent behavior.

And yet, most public school teachers spend a good chunk of their teaching time dealing with issues that are related to bad behavior and disrespectfulness.

There also is a laundry list of social services available, mandated by legislative and judicial bodies and administered through the public school system, mostly by overworked teachers.

Most of it has nothing to do with education. Some of the bureaucracy is simply related to keeping control in the classroom.

In the meantime, teachers are burdened with all kinds of accountability disguised as testing. Unfortunately, we are holding the wrong people accountable.

Modern language has twisted the meaning of the word hypocrisy.

Jesus made his most scathing remarks to people He labeled as hypocrites, so it is kinda crucial to know who is a hypocrite.

Basically, if I tell my kids to do as I say, not as I do – which, by the way, is something I tell them regularly - I am not being a hypocrite in the biblical sense of the word.

On the other hand, if I act super-spiritual, burdening people with foolishness, especially if I take on a leadership role, then, bingo, I am a hypocrite of biblical proportions.

So, what has the biblical definition of hypocrisy got to do with public education and the bureaucracy of taxpayer funded schools?

Basically, as a culture, we are guilty of a major kind of hypocrisy.

As taxpayers, we are claiming to fund education when what we are actually funding is juvenile detention for a large percentage of “students.”

Unfortunately, because we are putting a gentle “education face” on a serious cultural “juvenile delinquency problem”, the kids who go to school to learn are getting short-changed.

Pretending to educate when we are really committed to using public schools to keep delinquents off the streets is a serious kind of hypocrisy.

It should go without saying that the classroom is for educating those who want an education. For everyone else, we need juvenile detention.

And we need leaders who will tell the truth about it.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Meals on Wheels: Recipe for Service

Fruit salads are one of my favorite treats next to turkey or ham around the holidays.

Another treat is eating at Meals on Wheels.

I bet you didn’t know that Meals on Wheels occasionally hosts club luncheon meetings for organizations interested in knowing more about their efforts.

“Meals on Wheels Ministry, Inc. serves a daily meal to nearly 3,500 frail, homebound senior citizens and disabled persons every weekday in East Texas.

These meals are prepared fresh at the central kitchen located at 3001 Robertson Road, Tyler, TX, “ according to www.mealsonwheelseasttexas.org. “The meals are then home-delivered by compassionate volunteers to eligible persons who cannot provide meals for themselves. Often this is the only meal they will have that day.”

When Mike Powell and his staff served up this fabulous Waldorf salad along with lunch for a recent meeting of the Bethesda Alliance luncheon, I asked for the recipe to share with readers. It’s the best Waldorf I ever put in my mouth.

Monarch Mayonnaise’s Waldorf Salad

2/3 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup mayonnaise

3 Tbsp. sour cream

2 Tbsp. lemon juice

1 tsp. sugar

4 Granny Smith apples, cut into ½ inch cubes

1 1/3 cup thinly sliced celery

1 1/3 cup red grapes, halved

¼ cup candied pecans, for garnish

Mix all ingredients, except the pecans, together in a mixing bowl, until uniform. Cover and refrigerate until needed. Serve on a bed of fresh bib lettuce. Sprinkle the candied pecans on top for garnish.

While I was munching on lunch, I learned another interesting fact about Meals on Wheals. Did you know that you don’t have to be impoverished to enjoy having a meal delivered to your home? If you have a loved one who could benefit from the service and can afford to pay for the meals, Meals on Wheals will deliver your lunch at a prorated fee.

They even have grateful customers and families who subsidize other, less fortunate customers’ lunches with a regular donation.

Making Meals on Wheels a perfect example of the motto: “Serve people and success will follow.”

In Bullard, the plan is to collaborate with the Bullard library to put in a kitchen that can act as a southern staging point for Meals on Wheels delivery.

If you ask me, this is one more reason to support efforts to build the new library building in Bullard.

To volunteer for Meals on Wheels or for more information, contact Executive Director Mike Powell at 903.593.7385 or go to their website at www.mealsonwheelseasttexas.org.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Putting the Profit in Non-profit

All successful organizations are purpose-driven.

Whether it’s a good cause or just having fun, a shared sense of purpose is what unites people.

Unfortunately, with the recession, many non-profits are checking their budget and squirming for lack of funds, even those groups who are united around a worthy purpose.

With so many inexpensive booths available at fairs and festivals this fall, a booth is an excellent way to get the word out about your organization AND pick up some spare change.

But what to sell? Anything that is fun to buy.

That especially includes any paraphernalia pertaining to hobbies and sports, like:

-Hunting (pocketknives, camo hunting vests, ammo belts),

-Fishing (lures; antique lures, rods, or tackle boxes),

-Auto, Boat, and Motorcycle accessories (special cleansers or chamois, flashlights, gadgets, gizmos, and guy stuff),

-Grilling (small recipe books created by your organization, tools like tongs or spatulas, spice packages),

-Golf (golf balls or towels with funny sayings, emergency medical kits with sunscreen and band aids and funny “remedies” for bad golf days).

If you still need ideas for what people want to buy, here are a few more suggestions:

-Spend the day at Canton with some club members and search for ideas.

-Walmart has a whole aisles of ideas of stuff that people want to buy, especially the “impulse” displays that always catch me right before the cash register.

-Don’t miss a chance for members to clean out their attics and re-purpose gently used stuff to raise funds for your group.

-Why not plan a special fundraiser dinner for a few days later and sell tickets at your booth?

Finally, most importantly, new members mean new income in dues and donations, so don’t forget to recruit. Come prepared with brochures that clearly state the purpose of your organization.

Having enthusiastic volunteers ready to answer questions will make recruitment more successful. Have clipboards with membership applications ready that include contact info like email, phone, and address.

If you offer a discount to anyone joining that day, you may find that new members are eager to write a check for membership dues on the spot. Be sure to have a lock box available and a member assigned to be responsible for it.

In fact, if you plan your booth strategy well, you may find your next big project is training new members and figuring out what to do with all that extra cash.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Newspaper Journalism and Other Crazy Adventures

This, written specifically for the Bullard Banner, I'm posting in honor of Mrs. Vining's Journalism class at BHS, a collection of young people with extensive vocabularies and highly developed senses of humor.

The world revolved around Bullard, Texas this week.

For those of us who love this sleepy little community any little ripple in the pond matters.

Take the fact that a tiny, but darling little Kindergartner started her first week of school with her blond hair brushed to a sheen and her blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. The class of 2022 arrived for class this week with wiggles and trembles and giggles.

What is Libby looking forward to most about the upcoming 12-year education career initiated this week?

“You get to hear stories,” she answered without hesitation.

Reminds me of a shiny-eyed twenty-something art teacher Sarah Dupree who happens to be Libby’s aunt. She started her first day of school this week, too, at Brook Hill.

Welcome to the world of the Banner where everybody has a story to tell or an important part to perform, like for instance the Baby Belles and the Boys and Girls Club members.

Of course, you may notice that I am NOT known for my photography skills. Consider this your invitation to document the daily blessings of our community, especially with your camera. My heartfelt thanks to all those who emailed pictures this week. What would I do without you!

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Like Libby, my favorite part of the adventure is hearing the stories.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

What if? Abortion and Immigration May be Related Issues

What if we asked God to raise up an army of believers to bring justice to a difficult social injustice and - pause - He DID it?

What if we prayed for something and God gave us exactly what we wanted but wrapped it up in a box that we didn’t recognize?

I’m afraid there is a lot more to the topic of immigration that many Republican pro-life candidates and elected officials may be missing.

I was fortunate to attend the Texas Press Association summer conference one week after attending the Texas Republican Convention.

What a study in contrasts!

My brain was on overload by the time we left the GOP even though I heard later from friends that we missed more raucous discussion on the floor of the last general session.

One young friend shared how surprising it was to hear grown men have “temper tantrums” while amplifying it over a microphone. Clearly, it was his first convention. Welcome to American politics as usual.

A week later at the TPA a friend reminded me comfortingly that US politics was a “bloodbath” back in the 1800s, too, an era that this newspaper man/author often researches in his personal time.

In spite of the fact that downright meanness seems to be the standard of American politics, I’m tired of unkindness masquerading as “truth.” Truth can be plainly spoken without being vitriolic.

Being a passionate – okay, opinionated - person myself I too get the self-indulgent temptation to speak bluntly without taking a 10 second pause to measure the effect of my words on those hearing them. I try to keep in mind that while God is All-knowing, I’m not. And neither are any of our office-holding, public servants.

Usually, I enjoy the rough and ready nature of Texas politics.

But this time the stakes are high.

As one Texan friend with Latina heritage confided, “No one is in favor of abortion.” Then she added that rhetoric on immigration is “hateful.”

What if, hearing our entreaties for help in the effort to curtail and eliminate abortions in this country, God decided to send a deluge of hard-working, God-fearing people to our aid?

But what if in the complicated, often heart-rending issues surrounding immigration, we failed to recognize the prize? What if in our frustration we failed to have the useful and constructive public conversations that will produce solutions regarding immigration and, instead, settled for sound bites?

What if we simply told God, “Never mind, I’ve decided I’d rather keep my wallet in my pocket. What I asked You for is going to cost me too much in taxes?”

Just a thought.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Media, Microphones, and Messages

Never trust me with a microphone.

Close friends know better.

But I recently got handed a mike at the last minute because the real MC was double-booked. Oh yeah! Woo woo!

The best part was the crowd was heavily loaded with media people.

We were working together on an event to raise money and awareness for the way HIV/AIDS is affecting East Texans from all walks of life. Not necessarily a popular topic in these parts.

Now I’m going to share with you the thoughts that popped into my head at the same moment they trusted me with that microphone. Just cus 4^th of July is when I spout off about newspapers, truth, justice, and the American way.

Here’s the deal. We live in an area known for generosity. We take for granted the zillions of non-profits, church programs, and foundations that work diligently to make our communities amazingly blessed. Not to mention all the volunteer hours contributed toward good causes.

It is just part of what we all know and enjoy around here.

What hit me like a ton of bricks that evening was how much the media gets taken for granted in all this community service.

Because who would have time for volunteering if someone didn’t hold corrupt public officials accountable?

How would we know that we could count on good infrastructure in our towns and counties, freeing us to travel our roads and get where we’re going unencumbered by graft and corruption that plagues other countries, if not for our watchdog friends in the press?

And who would report the truth if there are whispers of inappropriate uses of donations in local charities or governments?

Yep, we enjoy our gatherings in peace and tranquility without ever considering how much the local press contributes to the well-being of our communities.

We read the front page with glee when we see our favorite charity honored with a lengthy article there, yet we seldom consider that all that paper and ink and overhead costs money. Do we think to support the local media with some advertising dollars now and then?

So I took the mike enthusiastically and spoke for all East Texans, thanking the local press for making their unique contribution to our communities.

And I am officially thanking this newspaper in today’s column.

Preach it, sister!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Truth, Justice, and the American Way

Justice is something Americans take for granted.

Like last week’s newspaper, we don’t think about it at all unless we need it for some reason.

But when we suffer an injustice, we suddenly crave justice, we search it out, and we complain if we can’t get it. And we keep complaining. Sometimes for years. For as long as it takes.

Last year, I got to be useful in a small way that mattered to me personally; I was part of a team that accomplished a little moment of historic justice. My part was a small thing. I just wrote a story that needed to be told.

It was printed in a little weekly paper that people tend to take for granted by an editor who, like all editors, happens to be underpaid.

The real hero was the man who was chosen, along with the only other three African Americans involved, to fill the draft quota for Henderson County out of a pool of 22 young men during the Vietnam era. Only four men were needed to fill the quota. The only four men chosen were the four black guys out of the twenty-two possible men. All the white guys went home to their mamas that day.

Coincidence that those four names were randomly drawn? Dumb luck? Not likely.

You almost had to live through the civil rights era to get how pernicious racism can be.

If you missed the story, my friend lived through the war and developed an attitude that reminds me of Joseph, “What you intended for evil, God intended for good.” He is a true American hero.

Justice is something we take for granted.

We read our newspaper and we don’t even think about how the stories affect our culture. How they make us all aware of injustices and provide an opportunity for communities to come together and address problems, to right wrongs.

Our forefathers made the FIRST amendment Freedom of Speech simply because a free culture depends on truth. Our local press – unencumbered by government jurisdiction - gives us an avenue to express our love of a vibrant community conversation.

Sometimes, justice is accomplished like a sigh of relief – without courts or law enforcement – simply because someone finally spoke up and said what we all knew to be true.

Our local newspaper is a place to declare what we believe to be true and self-evident.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Blame Now; Credit Later

“I’ll take the blame now because it will be credit later,” said the father of my children, amidst the protests of an unhappy family including me.

Now we quote him on a regular basis when decisions require a backbone.

My own dad has some gem-dandy ways of making us think.

“Will it matter in two years?” was his favorite response whenever I worried about the trials teenagers face in high school.

When folks are unkind to us now, I quote my dad to my kids as we walk away. “They probably have hemorrhoids,” was his way of telling us as kids to be patient because you never know what personal stuff might be going on in someone’s life to make ‘em cranky.

Since college students often get bogged down in choosing what they believe to be their life-long career, my dad also gave my kiddoes some sage advice when they started college, “Set a goal and change it if you change your mind.” He told them that in the long run they would get farther by moving ahead, rather than wavering in uncertainty.

What are some other favorite words from dads?

"I love you and I'm proud of you!" answered a friend of mine who is well respected in newspaper circles, is an ex-coach, and happens to be a nurturing person himself.

Another well-known and well-loved friend wrote this: "There are many... but first comes to mind the very last words he spoke to me. The day before he died, I was sitting on his hospital bed. He leaned over, hugged me, and said, "I'm proud of you, sugar.""

It seems there is a correlation between nurturing dads and success, doesn’t there?

Speaking of success and wise perspectives, one friend added this: "After dropping by yesterday and getting up to leave (his dad said)- "No need to hurry, why don't you stay a little longer?""

“Are you okay?” is the first question that my husband remembers clearly when as a teenager he called his dad to report that he had just wrecked the car.

Which brings me back to my husband’s comment about blame and credit.

Dads who are willing to take a hit - out of conviction about what is best for their kids - get kudos at the finish line.

Happy Father’s Day to all, especially my own dad.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Resolutions. Really?

I just hate resolutions. They sound so political. As if we are proposing some government agreement that is personally binding. Ick. As appealing as taxes.

“I set 8 goals last year and I’ve only got one left,” said a twenty-something friend about November of last year.

I was impressed; my resolutions never make it into February. Plus, eight is less than one accomplishment a month. Definitely do-able.

And it was cool stuff, too, like a bucket list.

“I’m sending you the abridged version,” laughed my friend when I asked him for his 2010 list. Before I could wonder what he left off, he added, “It’s going to include swimming in the Krafve’s pool once a week.”

In 2009, this young man managed to run a half marathon in under two hours, open a Roth IRA, save money for retirement, begin saving money for a down payment on a house, buy a serious piece of fun sports equipment, build his website, come close to running a six-minute mile, pull together one of his projects and submit it for a state-wide award.

He’s not even 25-years-old yet. Wow!

Notice how measurable and practical his ideas are. And there’s fun in the mix.

So, what’s he got on the agenda for 2010?

-Run a half-mile in under 1:50.

-Run a 6-minute mile.

-Learn to play harmonica

-Read the bible every day; no matter how short the passage. At least crack it open.

-Win a work-related award.

-Open a money market account and invest.

-Become conversational in Spanish.

-Do a 100-mile bike race.

-Choose a three-course meal and perfect cooking it.

Yeah, I like his list so much, I’m having trouble making my own set of goals for 2010.

Let’s just tell the truth; a fifty-something mom-type is not going to run a six-minute mile. However, but I am thinking of putting at least one of his ideas on my own list.

Yeah, if you change swimming, to laying out by the pool and working on my tan once a week, I’ll have the beginning of a list I can relate to.

Goals. I like the sound of that. And I still have eleven months to go.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Simplifying Work-related Stress

I have this theory that most work-related stress is simply people-related stress.

People can be downright stressful. Melodramatic.

So, what are some things that can be done to turn around the stressful situations, those work-related mini soap operas?

-Laugh. Look for people who know how to laugh. Make it a deliberate goal to sit at the “most fun” table at any seminar or event. Life is short.

-Focus on fun. Does 5 hours feel like 5 minutes on certain tasks? Do you look up and say, “Where did the time go?!” Say yes to more of those.

-Say No. Everyone has to do things they don’t enjoy along the way. That’s why it’s called work and that’s why we get paid. But minimize those tasks and set boundaries around them.

-Confide. Vent, but only with friends who are trustworthy and NOT co-workers. Don’t poison someone else’s well. Instead, look for mature folks who tend to end a debriefing with this kind of message, “I hear what you are saying, but I am guessing that you just needed to vent. You guys are probably a perfect team, bringing a balance to each other.”

-Repeat the Positive. Never repeat anything that is negative.

-Affirm. Affirmation tends to be contagious and everyone needs a pat on the back now and then.

-Delegate, Initiate, and Appreciate. If you are a creative ding-bat, sit next to the most organized, thorough person at the meeting. Or if you’re the intense, alpha type, sit next to the person who will be the most laid back. You’ll probably get on each other’s last nerve at first, but I guarantee that if you let the person know you appreciate the way they are wired, soon you’ll have a cordial, mutually productive relationship.

-Meet New People. New people are one way to enrich your life and stimulate your brain. Listening to other perspectives is a great way to learn something new.

-Learn New Things. Always take the opportunity to get training in areas you enjoy. Unfamiliar territory can be intimidating, but once you conquer a new skill, you’ll feel terrific and oh-so-smart.

-Reward others. Remember to thank the people in your life, at work and at home, that make your day better. Do not withhold honor from whom it is due.

Finally, reward yourself, too. Remember to take stock in what you value and commit to that. Reward yourself by making time for the people you love.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Ur Bst Golf

Golf is the only sport I know of where talented, athletic types brag about how bad their game is. For this reason, bookish, klutzy folks like me are totally endeared to the game; a sport that tends to convert perfectly normal people to instant looniness almost immediately.
I don’t usually do book reviews in this column, but today I’m going to make an exception for Ur Bst Golf, local author Ken Dance’s new book.
Don’t let the easy-to-read, informal tone, or the pocket size fool you. It is packed with helpful tips, humor, and wisdom, making it fun and informative at the same time. And it’s soooo local; here’s a sample:
“Sometimes the mere mention of a certain hole on a certain course can cause our palms to sweat. I know number nine at Hollytree in Tyler, Texas has ruined many a round for many golfers.” He goes on to explain that, instead of thinking yourself into a bad game, “The goal of confidence is to intentionally transform a positive thought into a present reality.”
He includes practical hints for winning the game of acquiring confidence in golf- and in life.
Ken dissects the elements of golf in a way that even newbies to the sport can understand.
In his section subtitled “Precision: a Combination of Distance and Direction,” Ken emphasizes that they are interdependent.
“I once played with a guy who achieved a world record for distance traveled. The first hole on the course was parallel to a very busy street in Dallas. When he hooked his drive, the ball took two bounces on the street and landed inside the raised door of a moving van just as it passed by. I’m not sure where that ball eventually went, but I know it went further than any ball I’ve ever hit. Distance isn’t everything.”
Ur Bst Golf is the perfect stocking stuffer. Or, because it is so local and personal, it is a great gift to send to friends in other places when we brag about how wonderful Texas is. (I can’t be the only person sending obnoxiously Texas stuff to all my friends, right?) Contact Ken at kendance@suddenlink.net or go to Amazon.com or BARNESandNOBLE.com.
Ken wouldn’t want me to write about his book without mentioning that the Chick-Fil-A Bethesda Golf Classic is coming up Oct 2 at Oakhurst. He often plays this tournament with his grandkids; it’s a friendly, relaxed opportunity to include newly addicted golf fans, young or old.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.