How to be the Spouse at a Business Gathering

My friend sat at the table, looking quiet and lost.
Normally talkative, entertaining, and outgoing, I wondered if he was coming down with a cold, or something.
Then, it dawned on me, it was the first time he had ever been the spouse at a business meeting.
Normally, he was the boss and his wife was the sidekick. With their roles reversed, he was clearly feeling like a duck out of water.
This is the time of year when holiday parties happen.
With that in mind, I am passing along some tips from my vast experience of being the sidekick.
Number one: It’s not about you.
-Don’t compare yourself to anyone else in the room.
-Don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you. It is irrelevant.
-Do focus on the other people.
-Keep all humor self-effacing. Tell stories on your spouse that highlight a wonderful character quality.
Number Two: It IS about your spouse, sort-of.
-Brag about your spouse. Make any comments that begin with “I am so proud of the way my spouse…”
-Be careful not to say anything that implies need for improvement.
-Dress in a way that honors the other person, neat and modest. Not sloppy, frumpy, and certainly not too vavoom.
-Remember that it never reflects well on your spouse if you get sloshed; better not drink if you can’t control yourself.
Last and most importantly: It is really about the co-workers.
-Greet each person, each time, with warmth and genuine interest.
-Ask open-ended, noncontroversial questions.
-Listen attentively like the person is the only human in the room.
-Look for ways to encourage your spouse’s co-workers.
-Say the positive things you know to be true, for example, “I’ve heard my spouse say how much he respects you.”
-Keep a grateful heart and express thankfulness where it is appropriate, “I am thankful for the things you do to help my spouse.”
-Be open to new friendships.
-Keep in mind that holidays can be difficult for folks because of grief or painful memories; be gentle and tender, aware and attentive to how people may be suffering this time of year.
Above all, have fun and enjoy being the sidekick in your spouse’s world.