Teenage Mythology, Part 1

I glanced across at the 12 year-old person sitting next to me in the front seat of my mini-van. It was a gray day outside. I was taking my time as we drove home from an appointment with the pediatrician.
Not only were the tar roads slick as we passed pastures and small country churches, but I was alone with my oldest. One-on-one time with this special, God-designed creature was a thing to treasure.
“Mom, you won’t believe what the doctor said to me!” she exclaimed.
“She told me ahead of time what she was going to say, Hon. What did you think about it?”
“She just gave me permission to be bratty for the next, what? Eight years?” She looked at me to gauge my reaction. Her eyes were wide open.
I just grinned. I had nothing to worry about from Anna.
As parents, we all have times that we look back and wish we had paid more attention. On the other hand, occasionally we experience one of those rare moments which we recognize as significant even as it occurs. I was enjoying the moment.
“So, what did you think?”
And with that question I opened the door to a discussion I will never forget.
My 12-year old began to list for me things grown-ups believe about teenagers that are simply not true. Here’s the first half of her list:
-There is a category of people who are teenagers.
-People have permission to be bratty because they are teenagers.
-Even the most affectionate child will not be affectionate as a teenager.
-All teenagers are embarrassed by their parents.
-All teenagers reject their parents and rebel.
-If you are too strict with your teenagers, they will go wild in high school or college.
-Kids have a will of their own. Kids make bad choices because of free-will.
As we drove along she wrote these ideas and a bunch more on the back of an old envelope, the only scrap of paper I could find.
I wanted to review the doctor’s perspective with her.
“You have to remember, darlin’, pediatricians see young girls in their offices who are 12 and 13 and pregnant. These are young women who don’t even realize they are grown-ups, who find themselves pregnant. It’s hard for us to even imagine what kind of an adult would take advantage of a young girl that way.”
It was quiet in the car as she digested this information momentarily. I reflected on the how scary the world can be when you are the parent of the most precious three children on the face of the entire earth.
A few years later, when I asked if she would make a corresponding list of truths to replace the myths, she said no.
“People need to answer their own questions, Mom.”
Hmmm…pretty sage advice from a teenager.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.