Goals for 21 Year-Olds

“Do you think good kids are hereditary?” asked my friend as we walked along in my neighborhood. She was experiencing a rough patch with one of her kids and she was wondering why my children seemed so easy.
I laughed.
“I can’t wait to tell my parents you asked me that question!”
I was not only naughty as a youngster, but oh-so creative with my mischief. So, I don’t know, maybe that gave me an edge when it came to being hard to trick as a parent.
The more people get to know me, the more surprised they are that our kiddoes have turned out so well. How is it that an incredibly dysfunctional mom like me has such well-rounded, mature, respectful children?
Good question.
Anyway, I think setting goals helped focus my parenting.
Before your kids have finished high school and are attending college or working in their first real job, they should be able to:
-Successfully initiate relationships with and interact with people of all backgrounds and ages.
-Discern unhealthy friendships or motives in others and in themselves.
-Ask thoughtful, probing questions in order to respectfully understand other people’s perspective.
-Have a “Savings Account” of stored knowledge to draw on when handling Life’s big issues.
-Have a personal faith that continues to ask questions and sort information.
-Intentionally turn to wise people for advice.
-Speak and write clearly.
-Make clear, modern analogies in order to communicate about deeply held beliefs.
-Set personal goals based on the ambitions they have chosen for their life.
-Prioritize according to their life ambitions and current goals.
-Relax and enjoy the process of living, based on their priorities.
-Be grateful for life’s blessings and be able to express thankfulness.
-Recognize true authority and respect those who have it.
-Practice servant leadership, exercising authority by inspiring others.
-Recognize that they have intrinsic value and that they are loved unconditionally.
I saved the best for last. If you have time to do only one thing on this list before your child leaves home, make your focus unconditional love, even if that means tough love.
I make goals for myself, not just my kids.
It’s a good thing, too, because by age 21 kids have reached a point where the only goals that count are the ones they make for themselves.
Now, one of the goals on my personal list is to butt-out and let the grown kids live the lives they choose.
By the way, when I mentioned the question of hereditarily good kids to my parents, they just laughed.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.