The Gift of Forgiveness

Some folks might argue that there is nothing wrong with a nest of baby rats in the barn. These same people tend to be teenage boys who like to keep pet snakes in aquariums in their bedrooms.
Okay, but for everybody else, a nest of rats represents pesky varmints that sneak in and settle in disturbingly close places.
The barn is one thing. The house is another.
Call the exterminator while I jump on a chair and scream.
Bitterness, like a pesky varmint, tends to sneak in and make a nest in our heart’s home almost before we are aware of it.
Like a teenage boy with an affection for reptiles, we tend to think a little bitterness is okay. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand.
We tend to be tender with our bitterness, keeping it hidden away in our secret spot, feeding it small delectable tidbits of self-indulgent thoughts, without realizing that, like rats, bitterness will quickly grow big and destructive.
Bitterness is simply anger that has gone unaddressed until it becomes a habit.
So, how does bitterness sneak in? There are lots of ways, I guess, but here’s a few.
-We imagine offenses, taking things personally while the other person has no idea of what our heart and mind are doing.
-We forget to enforce boundaries in our relationships and then get miffed when others don’t know to back up and back off.
-We avoid conflict, preferring to be hurt rather than take the risk of being assertive.
-We make mountains out of molehills, without admitting, even to oneself, that we are just being peevish.
And we let it all build up. Sometimes for years.
What exterminates bitterness?
Forgiveness, then confession.
Wait a minute, doesn’t forgiveness usually follow confession? Not in this case.
First, we must forgive the other person, whether he deserves forgiveness or not.
It might be that our silly, selfish heart has imagined the offences of the other person. Or maybe the other person has truly been offensive. Maybe habitually.
Either way, forgive him for your own sake. First.
Then, confess to yourself and to God, if you acknowledge a Higher Power, that you have been guilty of bitterness.
This process allows us to experience our own need for forgiveness. Then, it is a simple matter to seek God’s forgiveness and forgive oneself.
Problem solved, especially if you focus on developing new habits in your relationships.
Okay, maybe not as easy as getting rid of real rats in the barn, right?
But, with so many family gatherings and so much old hurt floating around this time of year, it is a good time to see bitterness for the pesky varmint that it is.
And to give yourself and your loved ones the gift of forgiveness.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.