Facebook Loser

I managed to be on Facebook for several months without acquiring a single friend.
For those who don’t have young people in their homes still, Facebook is a “place” on the internet where tech-savvy folks go to communicate with each other. When you get on Facebook, a computer screen pops up that has your picture on it and pictures of your friends and a place for one-liners that people send to each other.
Kinda weird, huh? I’m having trouble adjusting.
Parents can also waste hours of time looking at pictures of their kids and all their kids’ friends. Not that I’ve ever done that in the middle of the night or anything.
I have Facebook because my daughter set it up for me.
My Facebook page has my picture on it because my kids also know how to use digital cameras. I can take pictures, but so far I can’t seem to get them off the camera. I am planning to learn how to transfer pictures off of my camera eventually. Someday.
Probably the same day I learn to use Facebook.
Anyway, I made the mistake of mentioning that I didn’t have any friends. On Facebook, you understand.
“I look like a Facebook loser,” I complained to my daughter.
Later that same day, when I opened my email, I had over 75 messages.
I realize this is nothing compared to some people who have hundreds of messages to sort through everyday, but I lead a quiet life. I get excited if I have an email that is not from a person related to me by birth or marriage.
Seventy-five emails! Imagine my surprise.
It turns out that to be a friend on Facebook involves emailing the person for permission.
It took me two days to figure out which of my children sent out the message that I was desperate for friends.
Of course, the children thought this was highly amusing.
Almost as funny as my son deciding it would be hilarious to text both his sisters and all their friends from my phone. Something I would never do myself.
I’m sorry. I like human voices. Plus, texting involves spelling in odd, abbreviated ways.
I have a grand total of 17 unopened texts still. If you sent one, feel free to call.
I found out that my son was texting when he suddenly became a fount of information about all his sisters’ friends. Apparently, he was letting them in on the joke because they were all so surprised to see my phone number associated with a text.
I have to admit, I think it is funny, too, at some bizarre, ironic level. It is so much like something I would do myself. If I only knew how to work all these new-fangled modern gadgets.
Just for the record, I have 22 friends on Facebook now. I guess I accidentally deleted the others.
Cathy Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.