Hugs for Every Occasion

We were not a huggy family when I was growing up.
I knew and loved my grandparents well, so I get it.
My grandparents were amazing, depression-surviving, WWII-fighting folks. The home-front mattered to them, but some of them didn’t express it with mushy stuff like hugs. Instead they expressed their kind of love with courage, integrity, and loyalty.
So I don’t know if it was the free-wheeling 60s or just holding their first and subsequent grandbabies in their arms, but somewhere along the way, along with the other good stuff, my mom and dad started dishing out tons of hugs.
Really soft, secure, delicious hugs.
There is a proper hug for every occasion. So, here’s my list:
-For greetings with acquaintances. The proper hug is sideways, not front-ways. It is a good idea to offer a hug, if you are not sure, with the words, “I have a hug for you, if you would like one.” Some folks will respond with, “No thanks.” In that case, it is good that you asked first.
-With family and close friends. If you know a hug is welcome, then give the most enthusiastic hug you can imagine. Do so consistently; you will find that your loved ones will count on you for their favorite kind of joyful, loud-and-loving greeting.
-For grief in public. A tender hug is a gift at a funeral or at the hospital when words are not enough. Holding on for one more brief moment more will sometimes convey a world of compassion to the one who hurts.
-For grief in private. There are times when we need to wrap our arms around loved ones and hold them, like a mother holds a child. This is when we are in private with someone who hurts, either because of loss or sin or some other deep grief. Holding another human while they cry, waiting patiently for them to relax into our love for them requires a certain kind of perspective and a certain kind of hug.
-For snuggly grandchildren and other small people. Slowly picked up the child, then warmly hold and gently rock.
-For busy nieces and nephews. Personally, I’ve noticed that active little kids delight in being picked up, hugged quickly, then, tossed into the air. Of course, it is essential to catch them. If you let them crash, chances are there will be no more hugs for you.
-For aged folks. Widows and widowers need to be hugged because their spouse can no longer fill that need; instead, it is up to the rest of us to honor them in this gentle way.
-For people who are sick or physically fragile. Hugs are most certainly healing, don’t you agree? For that reason, a hug or a gentle touch is especially important when someone is in need of healing.
Be sure and put hugs on your gift list this year.
May you receive lots of good hugs, in all the varieties you need, this season. Hugs are one of those gifts that is just as much fun to give as to receive.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.