Girl Scout Cookies

My New Year’s diet always has an expiration date. It ends March 1.

That’s inevitably when I run into the first Girl Scout Troup selling boxes of temptation outside the grocery store.

You know what I’m talking about. Those adorable girls in their matching costumes, giggling and chatting behind folding tables, working hard to earn money for a good cause; they make succumbing to temptation feel downright righteous.

All of which would NOT be such a high-caloric problem if only I was willing to share.

Let’s face it; those cookies are so addictive that you cannot possibly open a box without eating each and every crumb.

It requires a strategy to get even one cookie once your family discovers that you have purchased a box.

Fortunately, a long and delicious life has taught me a thing or two about getting my fair share of the Girl Scout Cookies.

First, buy at least ten boxes every time you run into the girls. It’s for a good cause.

Second, when you get home wrap all the Thin Mints in brown paper bags and hide them in the back of the freezer.

Next, throw the family off the scent by putting all the Dosidos in plain sight in the front of the freezer.

Finally, put several boxes of Trefoils out on the counter as if you are an unselfish mom who intended to share.

And, just in case your family is onto your tricks, eat a whole box of Thin Mints in the parking lot before you leave the grocery store.

Favorite uses of Girl Scout Cookies:

-Sneaking two boxes into the movie theater on date night (not that I’ve ever done that.)

-Bringing them to school functions with the comment, “You know I don’t cook, but…” Believe me, no one cares that you don’t do homemade.

-Using them as a bribe for just about anything you want your family to do, as in “There could be a box of Girl Scout Cookies in it for you if you help me with my technology.”

I was disappointed to learn that the young man who mows our grass only takes Girl Scout Cookies as a tip, not full payment.

Back in January, I made a near fatal mistake of running into some early sellers in a different part of the state. Did you know that Girl Scout Cookies are released at different times in different parts of Texas? Who knew?

Personally, I think there should be a warning label on each box: “Could be dangerous for your diet if you are traveling.”

The moral of this story is simple: Don’t leave East Texas between Jan 1 and March 1. Stay where it’s safe.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Less Fat, More life

DIET is a four-letter word.

Imagine the frustration that word is stirring up in the heart of a teenager who was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure; a problem that temporarily bumped him out of the sports he loves and landed him in the hospital. Bummer.

Life is not fair.

His mom happens to have a friend who is a self-trained expert on how to fail at every diet. That would be me. I have a wealth of unwanted experience about trimming the fat and upping the nutritional value of my calories.

In honor of my friend’s son, here are the things that turn out to be kinda easy:

-Google all the fast food restaurants and pick out one item you like on each menu that is less than 300 calories, maybe a little more for guys. That way you’ll have a “safe” choice when you are hanging out with your friends. You’ll be surprised; who knew a small cup of slaw could pack a whopping 600 calories.

-Pick out a sugarless jam or jelly to eat on your toast instead of butter. This can cure a sweet tooth.

-Spread a teaspoon of peanut butter or Neufchatel on a whole-wheat cracker or flat pretzels if you find yourself craving fat. Or choose avocado because it will give you a dose of potassium and you can add onions and tomatoes and have guacamole.

-Teenagers always love Rotel dip, but add a can of vegetarian refried beans and at least get a little real food in there with the Velveeta.

-Keep boiled eggs in the fridge. Cut them in half and throw away half the yoke.

-My friend who is a personal trainer tells me that people who are successful at losing weight keep diaries of what they eat each day. I can’t seem to be that organized more than one week at a time, so I just do it every other week. To me, overeating is a lot like when folks quit smoking for a week, that’s still a week less lung pollution or a week of eating for good health. It can’t hurt.

-Find some easy, crock pot recipes, like lo-cal lo-fat soups, so when you walk in your door tired and hungry the smell that greets you will be temptingly healthy.

-Invest in a sturdy, non-stick skillet.

-Experiment to find the changes your family might not notice, like tossing a few tablespoons of bran or oatmeal into your regular baking recipes. Or replacing some of the butter with small amounts of olive oil.

No, there’s nothing earth shaking on this list; just a few easy changes that your family might be willing to swallow, like drinking more water and less soda pop.

Who knows? A few less calories today might mean a longer, healthier life for the whole family.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

True Love and the Wow Factor

How do you know when its true love?

Sometime between Valentine’s Day and spring weddings, every single gal on the planet finds herself asking that all-important, suspense-filled question.

The answer is simple. It’s the wow factor.

Of course, men and women are wowed by different things.

We’ve all seen the gorgeous, super-model girl with the short, bespectacled guy. Men never understand how that happens but, of course, women get it.

“It’s 30% looks + 30% personality + 30% intellect + 10% bonus stuff,” says one very wise gal I know, explaining it like a math formula.

Bonus stuff is nonessential, but fun extras like bilingual, athletic, rich, ambitious, musical; you get the idea.

If a guy plays the guitar that’s an unfair advantage because no woman on the planet can resist a strummy love song.

I may be wrong but I think the guys’ formula is straight up: 100% looks.

That’s probably why men think we are complicated, ladies; our equation involves addition.

Men-in-love are a fascinating species, especially East Texas men. Trained to hunt from the time they are tots, our young fellows study up on their intended with dedication and devotion that borders stalking.

That, too, seems unfair because we all know that no young woman on the planet can resist the attention of a cute guy.

Gals, if a guy is not intense about you, or if you are doing too much work to keep his interest, he is not your Mr. Right. I say dump him immediately because he’s just standing between you and The One. Plus, single gals have a lot more fun and freedom without a half-hearted suitor driving ‘em crazy. And I respectfully suggest that he’s got better things to do than waste his time with you.

All this presupposes faith because fear is no way to build a relationship.

Personally, since I don’t do math, I have a right-brain theory. It involves a little science.

“Trust the Chemistry of the Universe.”

According to this theory of science and the laws of attraction, since the Designer of the Universe is Good, somehow, when we meet “the one,” our strengths will gel. Our weaknesses will serve to help us mature. Eventually. With a lot of prayer probably.

There will even be fire-works. Hopefully, mostly the good kind.

There are some women who will argue my theory about chemistry because they seem to be magnets for every naughty boy within 100 miles.

For those ladies, I have an amended hypothesis, “Trust the Chemistry, but DON’T check your brain at the door!”

And try to enjoy the suspense.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

The Painless Perfect Pizza Crust List

Nothing says welcome home like pizza! Or TV night in front of the fireplace.

This time of year, warm homemade pizza is a family night waiting to happen, especially if the crust is easy and everybody pitches in to create individual designer pizzas.

The secret to a good crust is in greasing the pan with olive oil and sprinkling it with corn meal instead of flour.

Here’s a list of easy crusts available in our local grocery stores. Pre-made crusts are easiest, of course, but the mixes are easy, too, and have the advantage of saving money. 1 star means no thanks, 5 stars means Bon appétit!

-Jiffy Pizza Crust Mix. Tastes too much like Bisquick for our family. Serves 1 teenage boy. 2 stars.

-Valutime Crispy Pizza Crust Mix. The kids liked this one best, but the adults thought it was too limp. Serves 1 teenage boy. 3 stars.

-Martha White Pizza Crust Thin & Crispy Mix. This was the adult favorite because it held its shape and tasted of yeast, instead of baking soda. Serves 1 teenage boy. 4 stars.

-Pillsbury Pizza Crust Classic. This one is definitely the easiest, but most expensive of the ones you have to spread yourself. It has a good texture, but tastes a little biscuit-y for me. Serves 2 teenage boys. 3 stars.

-Brookshire’s Facochia Bread. Add 8 ounces of grated cheese on top and a salad and you have a meal for four. 5 stars.

-Mama Mary’s 100% Whole Wheat Pizza Crusts. Too dry. Teenage boys won’t eat it. 1 star.

-Boboli Original Pizza Crust. For the money, I prefer mix and bake styles. They taste fresher.

Other things Italian:

-We tried two varieties of Alessi Breadsticks, Grissini Torinesi Rosemary or Garlic. The garlic ones are traditional, a little thicker. (2 stars). The Rosemary ones are very thin, delicious, and wrapped in individual servings, easy to pack in lunches. (5 stars).

-World Classics Artichoke Antipasto. I saved so much on crusts, I couldn’t resist trying this little jar of goodness, even though it was a splurge. I sampled it as a spread on toast (2 stars), with pasta (3 stars), and as a hot artichoke dip mixed with cream cheese and topped with parmesan (5 stars). I recommend it as a hostess gift, too.

Designer pizzas are a fun, inexpensive, easy way to bring your whole family into the warmth of the kitchen on winter nights.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

1000 Reasons I Love Bullard

Back when I was a kid, you could drive any direction in East Texas and pass any number of small towns and miss ‘em if you blinked.

But if you got to Bullard, you knew you’d arrived.

Maybe its because three generations of families have farmed and turned cattle out to graze the land. Or maybe it’s because more often than not Bullard had terrific football teams.

There are a thousand reasons to love Bullard today. Here are a few:

-I love the way Bullard folks bicker like siblings, then bury the hatchet and all pitch in.

-I love the way public policy discussions are rowdy.

-I love the way the Bullard Banner adds to the sense of community and also manages to print tons of pictures of kiddoes doing great things.

-I love the way there is a golden diamond of buildings available for community functions, like points on a compass. To the north, a public golf course, an amazing private school and a beautiful new museum all of which are drawing people to Bullard. From the east to the south, an impressive array of public school facilities. From the south to the west, Bushman’s and Kiepersol.

-I love the new Bullard Education Foundation.

-I love the way there are many strong churches whose members put aside doctrinal differences and work together all the time.

-I love the way civic leaders aren’t afraid to dream big and welcome new people to serve.

-I love the way kids are included and tag along to adult functions.

-I love the way independent-minded businessmen start new ventures, sometimes more than one business at a time.

-I love the way folks who work for big businesses are not afraid to ask their bosses to pitch in and help.

-I love the way the men are strong and full of courage and the women are, too.

What would I like to see happen in Bullard next?

-I’d love to see the proposed library building become reality. The plan is to create a public space that will bring all the generations together. I hope it has cyber-friendly access.

-I’d love to see the new Boys and Girls Club get the facility they need.

-I’d love to see the Red, White and Blue Festival become known as a state-wide clearing house where once a year dozens of organizations and VA representatives gather to serve our young veterans and their families as they return home from Afghanistan and Iraq. Connecting vets and their families with services is a great way honor Veteran’s Day each year.

I could go on, but the best reason to love Bullard is her people. And there’s more than a thousand of ‘em.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Cheap Media Strategies for Non-Profits

Our East Texas neighbors in Bullard are already gearing up to host a Veteran’s Day extravaganza again this year called the Red, White, and Blue Festival to honor our vets.

Even though the grand finale of all this planning is still months away, the first big question is how to get the word out. Implicit in this task is the same problem faced by all people doing good deeds; there’s never enough money!

Which got me to thinking that I should share some basics here about how to get attention for your community project without breaking the bank.

-Call up the local paper and offer them a feature idea about one of your people. Offer to set up the interview, then, provide a fact sheet about your nonprofit beforehand via email.

-Write letters to the editor about your non-profit. Let folks know how they can help, either by volunteering or making donations. Be sure and thank people publically after any events.

-Plan newsworthy pre-events. Nearly all non-profits plan events these days in order to fundraise, if for no other reason. It is better to think in terms of events that serve a need in the community. Invite folks to participate in special events and contests leading up to a main event.

-Ask local school principles to announce your event during morning announcements.

-Post videos on Facebook or Youtube and encourage your friends to click on them and share them around.

-Contact the local TV stations about being on their interview programs. Surprisingly, they are often looking for people who are willing to get up before dawn and talk about community service.

-Keep signs simple. Design them so they can be used again next year. I like thank-you posters after the fact that sponsors can keep up year round.

-Save money by using email first. Only spend postage on those who don’t have email addresses or on big, beautiful invitations. One exception, send formal thank you’s via post; they are oh-so-much nicer to receive among all the usual bills and junk mail.

-Invest in a user-friendly website. It’s worth the money.

Finally, choose wisely when spending your media dollars. For events, you will want to broadcast via TV or radio. Be sure and check their websites as you decide, so you can get more bang for your buck. It’s a good idea to supplement with a newspaper ad because it won’t cost nearly as much.

If its brand name identity you are cultivating over the long haul, then newspaper is a better choice because of the cost factor. Plus, people get used to seeing your ad and they begin to count on it for it for your address, email, and website.

By November, most of these ideas will be Red, White, and Blue tested. In the meantime, please share your ideas here, too. Our non-profits can use all the help we can give them.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Hi-Tech Redneck

There was a shiny new piece of hi-tech equipment with a big red velveteen bow parked in my driveway Christmas morning.

It seems my husband believes I should have a new vehicle every 200,000 miles or every 10 years, whether I am ready or not.

My problem is I am just not that good of a driver. How am I supposed to drive and find all the new buttons?

Did you know they don’t even put tape players in cars anymore?

Now if you haven’t shopped for cars in ten years, you’re in for some astonishing space-agey, new fangled gadgets. For instance, I don’t have to touch my hatchback any more to get it to close. There’s a button for that.

Oh and they don’t call ‘em hatchbacks anymore either.

Jeremy Lade looked at me with understanding patience in his eyes and explained that I would probably love sync technology once I got used to it. Bless his heart.

So just what is sync technology?

Well, as best as I can figure so far, I talk to my steering wheel and it dials my iphone for me somehow. Okay, so maybe I’ll admit that the road has been a more dangerous place since I got my iphone. And maybe I’ll admit I find myself checking emails as I drive. Did you know there’s an ap for Facebook?

This technological hot rod came with four- count ‘em, four- books. One whole book is devoted solely to making phone calls.

I have a simple solution to so much information. I just drive by the dealership for another lesson.

The guys at Lade have amazing customer service, especially for technologically challenged middle-aged mom-types.

But I’m seriously concerned about Ford’s future truck sales and here’s why:

My sporty little Edge doesn’t understand Jeremy too well.

Every time Jeremy spoke a command, the car’s screen said, listening…listening…listening….

I suspect my techy new Silver Bullet - yep, that’s what my teenage son and I call our new voice activated joy ride - is listening for the King’s English.

“I guess I can’t tell my car I’m fixin’ to call someone, huh Jeremy,” I said.

He laughed and gave me the title for this column.

I’m thinking those engineers at Ford better come up with a computer that listens for a Texas twang or they are gonna have some disappointed cowboys singing songs about losing their true loves because their pick up truck couldn’t dial her number.

And maybe trucks should answer with a younger, sexier voice.

My son suggested Carrie Underwood.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.