What’s Next? Life after kids

There’s life after kids.
“You’ve got 30 more years,” said one friend recently, “That’s a lifetime of things you could do.”
Once parents get over the shock of sending their last nestling out the door, guess what? An empty nest turns out to be fabulous, especially having time to focus on grown-up stuff.
If you are facing May with trepidation as your youngest graduates from high school, now is a great time to make a list entitled “What’s Next” and post it on the fridge.
To get you started, here are some categories of things you have probably been wishing you had time for the last, oh say, eighteen plus years.
Serve the Community. Nonprofits, like for instance Habitat for Humanity’s Rehabitat program, can always use willing hands. I also like the idea of animal therapy programs, like using horses to help special needs kiddoes or dogs to visit the elderly.
Seek Justice. Groups like CASA and the East Crisis Center serve those who have been the victims of violence.
Pursue a New skill. Think of all the high-tech photography or video editing that is available now. Or what about something you always wanted time for, like a painting class at TJC?
Start a Second Careers. With a recession, this could be a terrific time to try something new on the side.
Ministry. Give a single mom a break with a little house or yard work. Or get involved with a prison ministry.
Travel. Colleges offer trips at student-inspired low prices. Take a trip with your almost grown kids. Better yet, line up a weekend with your siblings sans offspring. Or travel to a third world country and build a water well.
Politics. Run for school board or city counsel. Attend a party convention or walk your block for candidates.
Write your memoirs. Or tape a video of family history for the grandkids and beyond.
Volunteer in a public school. Adopt a school.
In fact, with so many fun things waiting to do, your kids may have to call ahead to get on your calendar.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

People-Watching to the Sound of a Bell

I saw two fragile little gals with walkers, the fancy kind with a seat and four wheels, who braved the crowds to be with loved ones.

I saw grandmothers with daughters and granddaughters, three generations of women reflecting strong genetic similarities, mutually committed to the afternoon’s purpose.

I heard patient husbands sound the familiar honk that signaled where they were waiting in the parking lot.

I saw infants in strollers, sleeping soundly through the hubbub all around them.

I saw teenage boys with their arm around mom, giving her their most convincing, charming arguments of persuasion.

I saw giggly teenage girls walking past in craft-inspired flip flops.

I saw a glamorous middle-aged lady with lots of bling in zebra print leggings.

I saw brothers and cousins in overalls carrying heavy packages for the ladies to the pick-up truck.

I saw elementary school children, too many to count, give their parents a significant look as they walked past me.

I heard laughter and joking.

I saw newly-weds reach deep in the pockets of their sweat pants for change to share.

I saw genteel, kindly grandfathers, many of whom had hosted lunch for the whole family, open leather wallets stuffed full of crisp bills.

I heard one young man ask his mom, “What about the change left over from Dairy Queen, Mom?”

I saw toddlers too small to see the top of the kettle stretch to put their first pennies and nickels in.

I saw young mothers begin the process of teaching their kiddoes that there are people in our community that don’t have what they need and that sharing is a good thing.

When I called out the familiar “God bless you,” one lady respond that she certainly needed God’s blessing.

I saw and heard all of this in two short hours on the day I rang the bell for the very first time in my life.

When my relief crew came, it was a spritely, sweet grandmother who claimed that the two teenage granddaughters she brought with her “came all the way from Arizona to ring the bell.”

I hear the Salvation Army still has some places left for those willing to volunteer a few hours of their time. Contact Cindy Bell with The Salvation Army, 903.592.4361.

So much to see and hear in only a few short hours.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Entertaining Kids is Highly Overrated: Nine Tips to Delete “Bored” From Your Summer

“Mom, I’m bored.”
Yes, summer is when all children everywhere try to shift the burden of entertaining themselves to mom.
Entertaining children is highly overrated, in my experienced opinion.
Never one to take on additional responsibilities regarding my children because they were already so much work, I always balked.
“Okay, get out a pen and a piece of paper,” I responded each year sometime during the first week of June.
Kids are way too smart to fall for any tricky business that involves pen and paper after school is out, so already I had them on the run.
With groaning and complaining, they proceeded to list their goals for the summer. Then, we posted them on the fridge, in case boredom struck again. I saved the lists; they are pretty cute.
If you are lucky enough to still have bored young ones in your home, here’s a list to arm you for the summer ritual:
-Walk the dog. Wash the dog. Teach the dog tricks.
-Create a sweet treat. Clean up the mess. Deliver it to a neighbor.
-Interview an elderly person about history.
-Plan an easy craft. Invite a younger child over to play.
-Plan a meal for the family. Make the grocery list. Guess at the cost of items on the list. Take it to the grocery store and shop with a separate cart for the items. Give the cashier the money and compare it to the estimate. Prepare the meal for the family.
-Make a special table decoration and set the table. Eat by candlelight.
-Make paper dolls using cookie cutters for patterns.
-Write a screenplay and act it out with siblings, neighbors, or cousins. Video tape it.
-Choose an amazing book and take turns reading it out loud together. Then, rent the movie version.
-Play an old-fashioned board game, like Candy Land or Sequence. Make caramel corn in the microwave. (For the recipe, go to my blogsite.)
I know times have changed with so many moms working. Children spend summer almost as busy as they are the rest of the year.
But don’t forget to schedule in a little down time. Being bored is good for kids. It gives them a chance to think about and make their own plans for a few hours.
Boredom can be a good thing, especially if it produces a disciplined mind.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Hugs for Every Occasion

We were not a huggy family when I was growing up.
I knew and loved my grandparents well, so I get it.
My grandparents were amazing, depression-surviving, WWII-fighting folks. The home-front mattered to them, but some of them didn’t express it with mushy stuff like hugs. Instead they expressed their kind of love with courage, integrity, and loyalty.
So I don’t know if it was the free-wheeling 60s or just holding their first and subsequent grandbabies in their arms, but somewhere along the way, along with the other good stuff, my mom and dad started dishing out tons of hugs.
Really soft, secure, delicious hugs.
There is a proper hug for every occasion. So, here’s my list:
-For greetings with acquaintances. The proper hug is sideways, not front-ways. It is a good idea to offer a hug, if you are not sure, with the words, “I have a hug for you, if you would like one.” Some folks will respond with, “No thanks.” In that case, it is good that you asked first.
-With family and close friends. If you know a hug is welcome, then give the most enthusiastic hug you can imagine. Do so consistently; you will find that your loved ones will count on you for their favorite kind of joyful, loud-and-loving greeting.
-For grief in public. A tender hug is a gift at a funeral or at the hospital when words are not enough. Holding on for one more brief moment more will sometimes convey a world of compassion to the one who hurts.
-For grief in private. There are times when we need to wrap our arms around loved ones and hold them, like a mother holds a child. This is when we are in private with someone who hurts, either because of loss or sin or some other deep grief. Holding another human while they cry, waiting patiently for them to relax into our love for them requires a certain kind of perspective and a certain kind of hug.
-For snuggly grandchildren and other small people. Slowly picked up the child, then warmly hold and gently rock.
-For busy nieces and nephews. Personally, I’ve noticed that active little kids delight in being picked up, hugged quickly, then, tossed into the air. Of course, it is essential to catch them. If you let them crash, chances are there will be no more hugs for you.
-For aged folks. Widows and widowers need to be hugged because their spouse can no longer fill that need; instead, it is up to the rest of us to honor them in this gentle way.
-For people who are sick or physically fragile. Hugs are most certainly healing, don’t you agree? For that reason, a hug or a gentle touch is especially important when someone is in need of healing.
Be sure and put hugs on your gift list this year.
May you receive lots of good hugs, in all the varieties you need, this season. Hugs are one of those gifts that is just as much fun to give as to receive.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.

Golf: It's All About the Shoes

“It’s all about the shoes,” declared a friend when I asked about her love of golf.
Really? I thought it was all about the cart.
I shared this info with a guy and he responded, “Really? But golf shoes are so ugly!”
Well, you would think so, but there’s no explaining fashion, especially when it comes to shoes.
For example, who would ever have thought that Sketchers would catch on? Sketchers, in case you don’t check the sale ads in your local paper, are a tennis shoe popular with fashionista-types that would be perfectly at home in a bowling alley.
I actually have a pair of Coach tennis shoes that are similar to bowling shoes. I wear them all the time, not that I myself would ever pay for anything Coach brand.
They were a gift from my husband who had the impartial and knowledgeable help of our daughter while shopping.
The shoes are gold and that explains everything.
You see, I have noted over the years that grandmothers always have gold shoes. And usually a gold pocketbook to match. A pocketbook is what we used to call purses back in the day before they became hand bags. My grandmother would not have carried anything but a pocketbook.
I don’t have grandchildren yet; a circumstance that I take every opportunity to mention in front of my married daughter.
However, my philosophy is that it is never too early to go ahead and get gold shoes just in case you get surprised with grandchildren. It could happen.
Personally, I think any writer that can work golf, shoes, and grandparenting into the same column deserves a Pulitzer. Not that I’m hinting or anything.
Golf is on my mind because a very kind lady blessed me by taking me for a ride in her golf cart today.
She doesn’t actually play golf, she just owns the cart. Very sensible of her, if you ask me.
I had no desire to drive, I just went along for the ride. I find it so much more relaxing to let someone else take the responsibility of not crashing.
She and her mother, that would be the grandmother of her children (notice how I worked that grandmother thing in again), had recently painted her cart in green and tan camo. Really. It was very cool; in a golf cart fashion kind of way.
Okay, I think a camo golf cart is the height of snazzy golfing equipment.
Unless, of course, they make golf shoes in gold.
Now is your chance, golfers, let me know what you like about golf, golf shoes, or golf equipment and I’ll fashion your ideas into a column.
Better yet, invite me to ride around in a golf cart and I’ll show up at your next fundraiser. It will make a great excuse to buy a new pair of shoes!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas, golf paradise. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.