I have a friend who got a gun as a gift from her husband.
Yeah, it’s been several weeks since Christmas and they’re still married. Can you believe it?!
I suspect the sudden urge to purchase unregistered firearms and give them as gifts has something to do with the fact that the Democrats are back in power.
I am not kidding when I say that many East Texans are picking up unregistered guns at gun shows just in case gun control becomes a popular legislative topic again. (For more on Second Amendment rights see my column titled “Amendment #2: Guns,” posted on my blog.)
I asked my friend if she was disappointed that her gift didn’t come with more sparkle, the kind found in gifts of a more geological nature, like, say, diamonds.
She shared, with a twinkle in her eye, that she thought her husband was inviting her into his world. She was honored that he views her as his favorite companion.
Wow. I’m not sure who impressed me more; the wife who had such an understanding heart or the husband who took a chance and managed to communicate so well.
I found her attitude about the whole thing inspiring.
So, in case any guys out there are considering a gun for their sweetheart for Valentine’s Day, here are some suggestions on how to give a gift of weapons, without having it backfire.
-Do what my friend’s husband did and make sure she understands that being your hunting buddy means quality time together.
-Give her a card with those sentiments first, so she understands your intentions before she is holding an unwrapped, unregistered weapon in her hands.
-Hide the ammo, until you are positive she understands.
-If she points the new gun at you, run.
Better yet, give her jewelry first, before she opens the gun.
Call me materialistic, but I find it somewhat unromantic to be reminded about household chores or to suggest that I might want to hunt for my food. So, we have a new gift rule at our house, just in case my husband confuses rifles, vacuums, tools, or household items as gifts.
The rule is simple, if it goes on earlobes or feet, it is an appropriate gift, especially if it comes in gold, silver, or shiny.
I’m only writing about guns as gifts because I think my friend deserves the “Wife of the Year Award.” I think her husband knows it, too.
I’m pretty sure all his friends, including my husband, are jealous cus he has such a cool wife.
So, buy your sweetheart a gun for Valentine’s if you must, but while you’re at the gun store, be a sweetheart and throw in ear protection.
To go over those nice shiny earrings that came in the velvet box. Just in case.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tips for Raising Fiscally Fit Kiddoes
When our oldest was just able to talk, I emptied her full piggy bank on the floor of the den for the first time and helped her count the wealth she had amassed with the help of grandparents eager to spoil their first grandchild.
“Would you like to give some of your money away, dear, to share with others,” I asked enthusiastically, thinking that it is never too early to teach a child about generosity.
Encouraged by her positive response I asked the obvious question next.
“How much?”
“All of it!” she responded, scooping up the coins and bills in her baby arms with a big smile.
I almost fainted. It was a lot of money.
Over the years, we have emphasized a core set of ideas and then watched in bewilderment as all three kids interpret and develop their own personal fiscal philosophy; each one as unique as the individual we raised.
Principle #1- Give It Away. Yeah, I know this sounds crazy, but it is a basic truth that giving creates gratefulness in the giver.
Principle #2 – Define Wealth Accurately. If you have two feet and four shoes, you’ve got a wealth of feet and an abundance of shoes.
Principle #3 – Recognize the Source. As a young wife, often stressed out about how my young husband managed, or failed to manage, money, I learned that God was my Provider.
Principle #4 – Hard Work is Fun. Okay, not all the time. But, learning to make a job fun for others is a great skill and can be fun in itself.
Principle #5 – Skills are Acquired to Serve Others, not Glorify Self. As parents, it is so easy to crave success for our kids, especially financial security, forgetting that their ultimate satisfaction will be in the true success of loving others.
Principle #6 – Serve Others and Success Follows. In this, my kiddoes have inspired me. With so many of their generation, their successes have proven to be a result of their commitment to serve others.
Principle #7 – Education is a Good Investment. Choosing college is often a sound financial decision, if you don’t overspend. Measure the return on your investment as you choose schools and majors; avoid debt like the plague.
Principle #8 – Save. Nothing beats an unstable economy like a savings account.
Principle #9 – Live Like You Mean It. If you are wondering if we let our toddler give away all her money, the answer is, yes. What’s a parent to do?
With all the gloom and doom lately, my hat is off to the East Texans I know; folks just grateful to be able to work and feed their family.
Or folks we read about in the paper; local small-town heroes; taking the little that they have and stretching it to help others in need.
Kind of like a toddler teaching mom to give exuberantly.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
“Would you like to give some of your money away, dear, to share with others,” I asked enthusiastically, thinking that it is never too early to teach a child about generosity.
Encouraged by her positive response I asked the obvious question next.
“How much?”
“All of it!” she responded, scooping up the coins and bills in her baby arms with a big smile.
I almost fainted. It was a lot of money.
Over the years, we have emphasized a core set of ideas and then watched in bewilderment as all three kids interpret and develop their own personal fiscal philosophy; each one as unique as the individual we raised.
Principle #1- Give It Away. Yeah, I know this sounds crazy, but it is a basic truth that giving creates gratefulness in the giver.
Principle #2 – Define Wealth Accurately. If you have two feet and four shoes, you’ve got a wealth of feet and an abundance of shoes.
Principle #3 – Recognize the Source. As a young wife, often stressed out about how my young husband managed, or failed to manage, money, I learned that God was my Provider.
Principle #4 – Hard Work is Fun. Okay, not all the time. But, learning to make a job fun for others is a great skill and can be fun in itself.
Principle #5 – Skills are Acquired to Serve Others, not Glorify Self. As parents, it is so easy to crave success for our kids, especially financial security, forgetting that their ultimate satisfaction will be in the true success of loving others.
Principle #6 – Serve Others and Success Follows. In this, my kiddoes have inspired me. With so many of their generation, their successes have proven to be a result of their commitment to serve others.
Principle #7 – Education is a Good Investment. Choosing college is often a sound financial decision, if you don’t overspend. Measure the return on your investment as you choose schools and majors; avoid debt like the plague.
Principle #8 – Save. Nothing beats an unstable economy like a savings account.
Principle #9 – Live Like You Mean It. If you are wondering if we let our toddler give away all her money, the answer is, yes. What’s a parent to do?
With all the gloom and doom lately, my hat is off to the East Texans I know; folks just grateful to be able to work and feed their family.
Or folks we read about in the paper; local small-town heroes; taking the little that they have and stretching it to help others in need.
Kind of like a toddler teaching mom to give exuberantly.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Leadership
Raising a boy changes everything.
Who knew?
I had a hint when, as a preschooler, our son decided he should demand tolls, stopping the neighbors as they drove by in their cars. He thought he was the sheriff.
Squelching that entrepreneurial urge took several intense discussions, not to mention panic attacks accompanied by throbbing heartbeats as I searched frantically for him all over the house only to realize with blind desperation that he was literally playing in the street. Again.
I’m sorry, but our girls never did anything nearly that dangerous!
Now that our son is taller than I am, it might be a good time to talk about leadership, right? Quickly, before he grows up and tries crazy ideas outside our little one-street neighborhood.
So, what kind of leadership inspires trust?
“I’ll take the blame now because it will be credit later,” my husband said years ago when we were faced with a particularly tough decision.
Here are some of the ideas about leadership that we’re exploring as a family these days.
-Do it first. Waiting for others to initiate is not leadership.
-Do it anyway. Looking over your shoulder to see if anyone is following, is not leadership. Waiting to see how others will respond is not leadership.
-Keep on doing it. Real leaders step out first. They step out alone. Then, if no one is willing to follow, leadership stands alone. Being willing to do what is right, alone, for a long time if necessary, that’s leadership.
-Communicate. Leadership requires the mental and emotional discipline to find the best way to communicate your vision. Communication often takes creativity and endurance.
-Listen and be reasonable. People will have objections and fears. They just will. Especially if you are doing something that requires a different perspective. Telling people their perspective is wrong is not leadership. Listening to and respecting other people’s perspective is not only informative, it is essential.
-Cultivate a heart’s desire to serve others. In order to do the right thing, it is necessary first and foremost to be selfless in wanting what is best for others.
I always tell my kids if you find yourself in the minority, make sure you are on the right side of the moral equation.
Why? Because, people seek out justice and they resist injustice. Because other people will respond to an appeal to their conscious. But only if your perspective has integrity.
Integrity requires unselfishness.
In the moment of temptation, when we are all tempted to compromise our core values and go with the popular trend, a true leader will trust his own moral compass without regard to the personal consequences.
And there are always consequences.
Kind of like a grown up version of letting the neighbors pass the house without paying a toll. Yeah, it’s just the right thing to do.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Who knew?
I had a hint when, as a preschooler, our son decided he should demand tolls, stopping the neighbors as they drove by in their cars. He thought he was the sheriff.
Squelching that entrepreneurial urge took several intense discussions, not to mention panic attacks accompanied by throbbing heartbeats as I searched frantically for him all over the house only to realize with blind desperation that he was literally playing in the street. Again.
I’m sorry, but our girls never did anything nearly that dangerous!
Now that our son is taller than I am, it might be a good time to talk about leadership, right? Quickly, before he grows up and tries crazy ideas outside our little one-street neighborhood.
So, what kind of leadership inspires trust?
“I’ll take the blame now because it will be credit later,” my husband said years ago when we were faced with a particularly tough decision.
Here are some of the ideas about leadership that we’re exploring as a family these days.
-Do it first. Waiting for others to initiate is not leadership.
-Do it anyway. Looking over your shoulder to see if anyone is following, is not leadership. Waiting to see how others will respond is not leadership.
-Keep on doing it. Real leaders step out first. They step out alone. Then, if no one is willing to follow, leadership stands alone. Being willing to do what is right, alone, for a long time if necessary, that’s leadership.
-Communicate. Leadership requires the mental and emotional discipline to find the best way to communicate your vision. Communication often takes creativity and endurance.
-Listen and be reasonable. People will have objections and fears. They just will. Especially if you are doing something that requires a different perspective. Telling people their perspective is wrong is not leadership. Listening to and respecting other people’s perspective is not only informative, it is essential.
-Cultivate a heart’s desire to serve others. In order to do the right thing, it is necessary first and foremost to be selfless in wanting what is best for others.
I always tell my kids if you find yourself in the minority, make sure you are on the right side of the moral equation.
Why? Because, people seek out justice and they resist injustice. Because other people will respond to an appeal to their conscious. But only if your perspective has integrity.
Integrity requires unselfishness.
In the moment of temptation, when we are all tempted to compromise our core values and go with the popular trend, a true leader will trust his own moral compass without regard to the personal consequences.
And there are always consequences.
Kind of like a grown up version of letting the neighbors pass the house without paying a toll. Yeah, it’s just the right thing to do.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Kids are Surprisingly Resilient
We all have times with our kids that try our soul.
Just when I think I must be the world’s worst parent, I find that it is surprisingly hard to ruin kids. Somehow, kids seem to make a come back even after the most challenging predicaments.
I am amazed at how resilient my own kids are.
Even when, along the way, I have wanted to give up, the kids hang in there with me and together we navigate the process of becoming mature together.
Talking to my mom always reminds me again of how resilient the Primer kids were.
For instance, as a junior high kid, I got in the habit of sneaking out in the middle of the night with a few friends. We would wander around the neighborhood, experiencing a sense of freedom, until fatigue and boredom set in, driving us back home to our nice, warm beds.
This went on for several weekends, until a friend’s mom found out and reported to my parents.
Can you imagine! A parent’s worst nightmare is to have your child, drifting through the neighborhood in the middle of the night, a sitting duck for being kidnapped while you are sleeping. Good grief!
My mom and dad stepped up and dealt with me in the most humble and serious way.
Of course, as parents, we don’t always know exactly what our kid’s perspective is.
I was actually relieved to be caught and eager to get back to sleeping a full eight hours a night. But, if my parents had pushed me, I would have rebelled, just for principle’s sake, I guess. Fortunately, they expressed their love for me and let me know that what I was doing was dangerous for me and scary for them.
I bet they thought I was a lost cause.
Looking back, that incident taught me a lot about dealing with my kids in a way that appeals to their conscious so they want to do what is most sensible and healthy.
Later, as an adult, I went back and thanked the mom who had the courage to call my parents.
Just think what that mom had accomplished as a parent! Her child refused to go out with us when we showed up in the middle of the night at her window. Her daughter had the maturity to recognize the danger and felt comfortable telling her mother the next morning.
In spite of mom and dad's trials, the Primer kids all came out fine and dandy.
And we’re all law-abiding citizens, too. Not that there was ever any question about my sister, you understand.
I guess good parenting comes down to this: Hanging in there and being honest about our feelings of inadequacy.
Oh, and it’s not a bad idea to get a burglar alarm. That way, mom and dad can get a good night’s rest.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Just when I think I must be the world’s worst parent, I find that it is surprisingly hard to ruin kids. Somehow, kids seem to make a come back even after the most challenging predicaments.
I am amazed at how resilient my own kids are.
Even when, along the way, I have wanted to give up, the kids hang in there with me and together we navigate the process of becoming mature together.
Talking to my mom always reminds me again of how resilient the Primer kids were.
For instance, as a junior high kid, I got in the habit of sneaking out in the middle of the night with a few friends. We would wander around the neighborhood, experiencing a sense of freedom, until fatigue and boredom set in, driving us back home to our nice, warm beds.
This went on for several weekends, until a friend’s mom found out and reported to my parents.
Can you imagine! A parent’s worst nightmare is to have your child, drifting through the neighborhood in the middle of the night, a sitting duck for being kidnapped while you are sleeping. Good grief!
My mom and dad stepped up and dealt with me in the most humble and serious way.
Of course, as parents, we don’t always know exactly what our kid’s perspective is.
I was actually relieved to be caught and eager to get back to sleeping a full eight hours a night. But, if my parents had pushed me, I would have rebelled, just for principle’s sake, I guess. Fortunately, they expressed their love for me and let me know that what I was doing was dangerous for me and scary for them.
I bet they thought I was a lost cause.
Looking back, that incident taught me a lot about dealing with my kids in a way that appeals to their conscious so they want to do what is most sensible and healthy.
Later, as an adult, I went back and thanked the mom who had the courage to call my parents.
Just think what that mom had accomplished as a parent! Her child refused to go out with us when we showed up in the middle of the night at her window. Her daughter had the maturity to recognize the danger and felt comfortable telling her mother the next morning.
In spite of mom and dad's trials, the Primer kids all came out fine and dandy.
And we’re all law-abiding citizens, too. Not that there was ever any question about my sister, you understand.
I guess good parenting comes down to this: Hanging in there and being honest about our feelings of inadequacy.
Oh, and it’s not a bad idea to get a burglar alarm. That way, mom and dad can get a good night’s rest.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Instant Soup Ratings: For Chilly Days, Part 1
Nothing chases away a chill this time of year like a steamy bowl of soup.
I think cooking will probably be part of my life again when I get the hang of this balancing act called working mom. But for now, well, I am discovering that cooking is no longer an option.
So, I put my crock pots into the work force, too.
Yes, I am the proud owner of not one, not two, but a grand total of four, count ‘em, four crock pots. No one is paying me to say it, but I love crock pots. They appeal to the part of my soul that longs for efficiency and control.
The following instant soups are NOT designed for crock pots, but being desperate for supper-time relief, I tried them in the crock pot anyway. 10 spoons means I got a kitchen-pass that’s as simple as filling the crock pot with water and opening an envelope.
-3 spoons. Wyler’s Mrs. Grass Hearty Soup Mix, Homestyle Creamy Chicken with Wild Rice. I put in 8 cups of water and tossed in the mix, stirred it around and left it all day. It was too thick at supper time, so I added another 2 cups of water and threw in some sautéed chicken breast, diced. My husband and I could eat it, but my son switched to instant mac and cheese instead. Sad, but true, mac qualifies as a food group at our house.
-8 spoons, at least. Williams Country Store Home Style Soup Mix, Tortilla Soup. It was so good that you could buy two bags, set out garnishes like grated cheese and fresh cilantro and serve it when friends come over to watch a basketball game. It is necessary to add chicken or beef to the pot, especially for company.
-9 spoons, our family’s favorite so far. Bear Creek Country Kitchens Minestrone Soup Mix. I took out the bowtie pasta before I put the rest of the mix in the pot. I added raw carrots, celery, and mushrooms, and two 4 oz. raw chuck steaks. Twenty minutes before supper time, I cut the cooked steak into chunks and added the bowties. The soup was so good even my son had nice things to say, right before he boiled the macaroni.
-9 spoons. Alessi Traditional Zuppa Toscana Tuscan Whitebean Soup. I started with the 4 ½ cups water, added the mix and 4 cups of chopped raw carrots. By evening, I had a scrumptious, tasty soup, perfect for family, maybe even for company. It didn’t need any additions; not even the carrots, but they were good, especially if you like something chunky in your smooth, thick, well-seasoned base.
Hopefully, this list will save you a little time at the grocery store and in the kitchen, buying more time for what we all love: to savor the flavor of family.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com
I think cooking will probably be part of my life again when I get the hang of this balancing act called working mom. But for now, well, I am discovering that cooking is no longer an option.
So, I put my crock pots into the work force, too.
Yes, I am the proud owner of not one, not two, but a grand total of four, count ‘em, four crock pots. No one is paying me to say it, but I love crock pots. They appeal to the part of my soul that longs for efficiency and control.
The following instant soups are NOT designed for crock pots, but being desperate for supper-time relief, I tried them in the crock pot anyway. 10 spoons means I got a kitchen-pass that’s as simple as filling the crock pot with water and opening an envelope.
-3 spoons. Wyler’s Mrs. Grass Hearty Soup Mix, Homestyle Creamy Chicken with Wild Rice. I put in 8 cups of water and tossed in the mix, stirred it around and left it all day. It was too thick at supper time, so I added another 2 cups of water and threw in some sautéed chicken breast, diced. My husband and I could eat it, but my son switched to instant mac and cheese instead. Sad, but true, mac qualifies as a food group at our house.
-8 spoons, at least. Williams Country Store Home Style Soup Mix, Tortilla Soup. It was so good that you could buy two bags, set out garnishes like grated cheese and fresh cilantro and serve it when friends come over to watch a basketball game. It is necessary to add chicken or beef to the pot, especially for company.
-9 spoons, our family’s favorite so far. Bear Creek Country Kitchens Minestrone Soup Mix. I took out the bowtie pasta before I put the rest of the mix in the pot. I added raw carrots, celery, and mushrooms, and two 4 oz. raw chuck steaks. Twenty minutes before supper time, I cut the cooked steak into chunks and added the bowties. The soup was so good even my son had nice things to say, right before he boiled the macaroni.
-9 spoons. Alessi Traditional Zuppa Toscana Tuscan Whitebean Soup. I started with the 4 ½ cups water, added the mix and 4 cups of chopped raw carrots. By evening, I had a scrumptious, tasty soup, perfect for family, maybe even for company. It didn’t need any additions; not even the carrots, but they were good, especially if you like something chunky in your smooth, thick, well-seasoned base.
Hopefully, this list will save you a little time at the grocery store and in the kitchen, buying more time for what we all love: to savor the flavor of family.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com
Instant Soup Ratings: For Rainy Days, Part 2
Crock pots are my friends.
They fill up my house with the warm aroma of good smells of food that is significantly, nay, magically, not burnt.
Not all of the following soups are designed for crock pots, but being fearless about ruined suppers, I tried them in the crock pot anyway.
One spoon means I wasted my money, but the raccoons were happy, since I tend to dump my mistakes in the woods behind the house. 10 spoons means I could pass the soup off to friends as homemade. That is, unless they get suspicious because supper isn’t burnt.
-3 spoons. Wyler’s Mrs. Grass Hearty Mix Homestyle Beef Stew. This package actually had crock pot directions; but, it’s only fair to mention that I started it in the morning and returned to it 10 hours later, instead of 3 or 4 hours as instructed. Even with the meat I added, this could have been canned soup.
-5 spoons. Cugino’s Baked Burgandy French Onion Soup. Just what you would expect, but not spectacular. The directions also say to top their soup with your croutons and cheese. Of course, everybody knows that the best thing about onion soup is the bread and cheese on top.
-7 spoons. Williams Country Style Soup Mix Louisiana Style Gumbo. Okay, I’m a connoisseur of gumbo and this is good. There is rice in the bag, and while it was pretty thick by dinner, the rice was still recognizable. I topped mine with Tabasco, of course, and it would have been even better with a handful of shrimp thrown in. After I panned another Williams Soup, I wanted to give the brand another chance and I’m glad I did.
-9 spoons. Bean Cuisine Thick as Fog Split Pea Soup. The adults loved this one, but my son switched to pasta. I added turkey sausage. It was great, and would have been even better with a spoonful of sour cream or yogurt on top.
-10 spoons. Turtle Island Just for Joy Southwestern Roasted Corn Chowder. I added a can of corm and 8 oz. of cooked, diced chicken breast. We loved it, even my son.
The good news about the instant soups on this list is that, while my son opted for mac and cheese sometimes, my husband and I were able to enjoy all of them, thus encouraging moderation among the raccoons of our neighborhood which tend to be too fat and sassy anyway.
Just for good measure I included my favorite homemade soup recipe on my blog. While it is not as easy as dinner from an envelope, Veloute Soup is simple, low-fat, delicious, and the creation of a talented fellow East Texan.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
They fill up my house with the warm aroma of good smells of food that is significantly, nay, magically, not burnt.
Not all of the following soups are designed for crock pots, but being fearless about ruined suppers, I tried them in the crock pot anyway.
One spoon means I wasted my money, but the raccoons were happy, since I tend to dump my mistakes in the woods behind the house. 10 spoons means I could pass the soup off to friends as homemade. That is, unless they get suspicious because supper isn’t burnt.
-3 spoons. Wyler’s Mrs. Grass Hearty Mix Homestyle Beef Stew. This package actually had crock pot directions; but, it’s only fair to mention that I started it in the morning and returned to it 10 hours later, instead of 3 or 4 hours as instructed. Even with the meat I added, this could have been canned soup.
-5 spoons. Cugino’s Baked Burgandy French Onion Soup. Just what you would expect, but not spectacular. The directions also say to top their soup with your croutons and cheese. Of course, everybody knows that the best thing about onion soup is the bread and cheese on top.
-7 spoons. Williams Country Style Soup Mix Louisiana Style Gumbo. Okay, I’m a connoisseur of gumbo and this is good. There is rice in the bag, and while it was pretty thick by dinner, the rice was still recognizable. I topped mine with Tabasco, of course, and it would have been even better with a handful of shrimp thrown in. After I panned another Williams Soup, I wanted to give the brand another chance and I’m glad I did.
-9 spoons. Bean Cuisine Thick as Fog Split Pea Soup. The adults loved this one, but my son switched to pasta. I added turkey sausage. It was great, and would have been even better with a spoonful of sour cream or yogurt on top.
-10 spoons. Turtle Island Just for Joy Southwestern Roasted Corn Chowder. I added a can of corm and 8 oz. of cooked, diced chicken breast. We loved it, even my son.
The good news about the instant soups on this list is that, while my son opted for mac and cheese sometimes, my husband and I were able to enjoy all of them, thus encouraging moderation among the raccoons of our neighborhood which tend to be too fat and sassy anyway.
Just for good measure I included my favorite homemade soup recipe on my blog. While it is not as easy as dinner from an envelope, Veloute Soup is simple, low-fat, delicious, and the creation of a talented fellow East Texan.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Veloute Soup
My friend, Margarite Strout, whose kitchen always blends the aromas of her family background including French, Swiss, North and South American (Uraguay), is genetically and culturally predisposed to be one of the best cooks I know. Veloute is French for velvety.
Veloute Soupe
3 quarts water
4 chicken thighs, with bones and skin
½ tsp garlic powder (not garlic salt)
1 tsp crushed oregano
2 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 large carrots, peeled and quartered
Salt and pepper to taste
½ tsp. cumin
In a large pot, boil the chicken thighs for about 45 minutes with the spices until the chicken is falling apart. Scoop out the chicken and set it aside. Add the veggies and boil until tender. While they cook, separate the chicken meat from the bones and skin. Dice the meat and throw away the rest.
With a hand-held blender, puree the veggies in the pot until it looks velvety. Add the diced chicken meat back in. Salt and pepper to taste. Add cumin.
Served in mugs by a roaring fire, this is a nutritious, wintery treat for a cold day. For fancy occasions, Margarite swirls in a spoonful of cream and garnishes with oregano or parsley. Either way, it is sure to make your kitchen smell like hers; a cross-cultural experience.
Veloute Soupe
3 quarts water
4 chicken thighs, with bones and skin
½ tsp garlic powder (not garlic salt)
1 tsp crushed oregano
2 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
4 large carrots, peeled and quartered
Salt and pepper to taste
½ tsp. cumin
In a large pot, boil the chicken thighs for about 45 minutes with the spices until the chicken is falling apart. Scoop out the chicken and set it aside. Add the veggies and boil until tender. While they cook, separate the chicken meat from the bones and skin. Dice the meat and throw away the rest.
With a hand-held blender, puree the veggies in the pot until it looks velvety. Add the diced chicken meat back in. Salt and pepper to taste. Add cumin.
Served in mugs by a roaring fire, this is a nutritious, wintery treat for a cold day. For fancy occasions, Margarite swirls in a spoonful of cream and garnishes with oregano or parsley. Either way, it is sure to make your kitchen smell like hers; a cross-cultural experience.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Mirror, Mirror, Leaning Against the Wall
I accidentally discovered the easiest solution ever for my weight problem.
If only I could market it, I’d be rich.
It happened when it dawned on me that, once my daughter moved back home to work, I would not be able to use her room as my office/personal huge closet. As I was removing all my collection of stuff, I realized that the longest mirror in the house was fixing to be off limits to me sometimes.
So I did what all sensible mothers would do under the circumstances.
I moved the mirror to my room and leaned it against the wall.
And, like Galilee and Thomas Edison and countless inventors before me, I had my own eureka moment when I accidentally looked in the mirror.
Things may appear skinnier than they are.
Apparently, when you look at a person at a certain angle, mostly as if you are looking up, they look really trim and tall. It was a new experience for me. Not unlike the trick mirrors at the county fair each year.
We possess another mirror that I have always claimed had similar secret powers. Now I suspect that this other mirror, too, has some kind of design flaw.
You might be a candidate for my leaning mirror trick...
- if you tell your girlfriends that girdles, not diamonds, are a girl’s best friend. And, yes, like me, you are getting old if you call them girdles, not bodyshapers or spanx.
-if you have strong opinion about the florescent lighting in retail dressing rooms ending with the phrase “I don’t see why we can’t have candle-light!”
-if you grab a pen and paper when your friend tells you her favorite recipe for her juicer.
-if you count the calories in chocolate as medicinal. Okay, maybe that has nothing to do with weight; that may be a female thing.
-you are pretty sure that a good belly laugh burns calories.
-you write columns about mirrors and you actually think someone else might care.
I call my new leaning mirror trick, “The Skinny Angle Principle.” I want credit for discovering it. I’m claiming that it is even more practical than, say, the law of gravity or Newton’s Law.
There are obviously some other easy ways to put the Skinny Angle Principle to work for us.
We can simply make it a habit to stand on stairs. We can bring stools with us to every social function. We can exclusively hang out with six-year-olds and similarly short people.
As a short person myself, I am also working on a corresponding theory: Tall people may not be as skinny as they appear. I find that comforting somehow.
The other good thing about this new discovery is that it gives me the perfect excuse not to bother with actually installing the mirror. It’s not like hanging a mirror will burn that many calories anyway, right?
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmasil.com.
If only I could market it, I’d be rich.
It happened when it dawned on me that, once my daughter moved back home to work, I would not be able to use her room as my office/personal huge closet. As I was removing all my collection of stuff, I realized that the longest mirror in the house was fixing to be off limits to me sometimes.
So I did what all sensible mothers would do under the circumstances.
I moved the mirror to my room and leaned it against the wall.
And, like Galilee and Thomas Edison and countless inventors before me, I had my own eureka moment when I accidentally looked in the mirror.
Things may appear skinnier than they are.
Apparently, when you look at a person at a certain angle, mostly as if you are looking up, they look really trim and tall. It was a new experience for me. Not unlike the trick mirrors at the county fair each year.
We possess another mirror that I have always claimed had similar secret powers. Now I suspect that this other mirror, too, has some kind of design flaw.
You might be a candidate for my leaning mirror trick...
- if you tell your girlfriends that girdles, not diamonds, are a girl’s best friend. And, yes, like me, you are getting old if you call them girdles, not bodyshapers or spanx.
-if you have strong opinion about the florescent lighting in retail dressing rooms ending with the phrase “I don’t see why we can’t have candle-light!”
-if you grab a pen and paper when your friend tells you her favorite recipe for her juicer.
-if you count the calories in chocolate as medicinal. Okay, maybe that has nothing to do with weight; that may be a female thing.
-you are pretty sure that a good belly laugh burns calories.
-you write columns about mirrors and you actually think someone else might care.
I call my new leaning mirror trick, “The Skinny Angle Principle.” I want credit for discovering it. I’m claiming that it is even more practical than, say, the law of gravity or Newton’s Law.
There are obviously some other easy ways to put the Skinny Angle Principle to work for us.
We can simply make it a habit to stand on stairs. We can bring stools with us to every social function. We can exclusively hang out with six-year-olds and similarly short people.
As a short person myself, I am also working on a corresponding theory: Tall people may not be as skinny as they appear. I find that comforting somehow.
The other good thing about this new discovery is that it gives me the perfect excuse not to bother with actually installing the mirror. It’s not like hanging a mirror will burn that many calories anyway, right?
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmasil.com.
Words We Don't Use
There is a three letter word we don’t use at our house and it starts with an f.
If you don’t know which word I mean, then you obviously have a good relationship with your bathroom scales.
At our house, we say soft. Or, my personal favorite, suave, which is the word for soft in espanol.
Suave. Don’t ya just love it?
Of course, no man wants to be referred to as soft, so we have masculine euphemisms, too.
My favorite is the way we refer to the tire around the middle of a middle-aged man as his security. You know, in the event of a famine, security could be useful. I am just practical that way.
I finally reached a truce with my scales. I ignore them and they consequently ignore me.
That was right before the scales broke, not that I cared.
My bathroom mirror, on the other hand, is a thing of delightful enchantment.
Don’t ask me how I became the happy owner of a mirror that invariably makes me look skinny, young, wrinkleless, and sag-free.
It was a gift from my mom-in-law for our first home.
How did she purchase the perfect gift? Perhaps from a wandering gipsy caravan? From a retired circus performer?
I don’t know, but I am pretty sure it is one of a kind and I am not sharing it.
I will certainly triple wrap the priceless mirror, if I ever have to move again, even to the nursing home. I am finally at an age to fully appreciate the worth of such a remarkable object.
It is possible that it is not the mirror at all. I could just be an anti-rexic. I always see myself as eighteen and quite skinny. This is clearly a psychic disorder, but I refuse to take medication for it.
Unfortunately, my closet is not so accommodating.
Somewhere between my bathroom mirror and my blue jeans, I gain ten pounds.
Good grief. I cannot explain this phenomenon; I only know that it is true. I can tell by the way I have to strain to get the jeans zipped and buttoned.
There are other f-words, of course. If you have an elementary school child, you already know that the kids at school use an f-word every time someone passes gas.
There’s the s-word too, which is for kids that are the opposite of smart.
And, if the s-word does not suffice, there is always the d-word.
I would tell you what the d-word is, but I’m no dummy.
Oops.
We don’t use those words at our house.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
If you don’t know which word I mean, then you obviously have a good relationship with your bathroom scales.
At our house, we say soft. Or, my personal favorite, suave, which is the word for soft in espanol.
Suave. Don’t ya just love it?
Of course, no man wants to be referred to as soft, so we have masculine euphemisms, too.
My favorite is the way we refer to the tire around the middle of a middle-aged man as his security. You know, in the event of a famine, security could be useful. I am just practical that way.
I finally reached a truce with my scales. I ignore them and they consequently ignore me.
That was right before the scales broke, not that I cared.
My bathroom mirror, on the other hand, is a thing of delightful enchantment.
Don’t ask me how I became the happy owner of a mirror that invariably makes me look skinny, young, wrinkleless, and sag-free.
It was a gift from my mom-in-law for our first home.
How did she purchase the perfect gift? Perhaps from a wandering gipsy caravan? From a retired circus performer?
I don’t know, but I am pretty sure it is one of a kind and I am not sharing it.
I will certainly triple wrap the priceless mirror, if I ever have to move again, even to the nursing home. I am finally at an age to fully appreciate the worth of such a remarkable object.
It is possible that it is not the mirror at all. I could just be an anti-rexic. I always see myself as eighteen and quite skinny. This is clearly a psychic disorder, but I refuse to take medication for it.
Unfortunately, my closet is not so accommodating.
Somewhere between my bathroom mirror and my blue jeans, I gain ten pounds.
Good grief. I cannot explain this phenomenon; I only know that it is true. I can tell by the way I have to strain to get the jeans zipped and buttoned.
There are other f-words, of course. If you have an elementary school child, you already know that the kids at school use an f-word every time someone passes gas.
There’s the s-word too, which is for kids that are the opposite of smart.
And, if the s-word does not suffice, there is always the d-word.
I would tell you what the d-word is, but I’m no dummy.
Oops.
We don’t use those words at our house.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Goals for 21 Year-Olds
“Do you think good kids are hereditary?” asked my friend as we walked along in my neighborhood. She was experiencing a rough patch with one of her kids and she was wondering why my children seemed so easy.
I laughed.
“I can’t wait to tell my parents you asked me that question!”
I was not only naughty as a youngster, but oh-so creative with my mischief. So, I don’t know, maybe that gave me an edge when it came to being hard to trick as a parent.
The more people get to know me, the more surprised they are that our kiddoes have turned out so well. How is it that an incredibly dysfunctional mom like me has such well-rounded, mature, respectful children?
Good question.
Anyway, I think setting goals helped focus my parenting.
Before your kids have finished high school and are attending college or working in their first real job, they should be able to:
-Successfully initiate relationships with and interact with people of all backgrounds and ages.
-Discern unhealthy friendships or motives in others and in themselves.
-Ask thoughtful, probing questions in order to respectfully understand other people’s perspective.
-Have a “Savings Account” of stored knowledge to draw on when handling Life’s big issues.
-Have a personal faith that continues to ask questions and sort information.
-Intentionally turn to wise people for advice.
-Speak and write clearly.
-Make clear, modern analogies in order to communicate about deeply held beliefs.
-Set personal goals based on the ambitions they have chosen for their life.
-Prioritize according to their life ambitions and current goals.
-Relax and enjoy the process of living, based on their priorities.
-Be grateful for life’s blessings and be able to express thankfulness.
-Recognize true authority and respect those who have it.
-Practice servant leadership, exercising authority by inspiring others.
-Recognize that they have intrinsic value and that they are loved unconditionally.
I saved the best for last. If you have time to do only one thing on this list before your child leaves home, make your focus unconditional love, even if that means tough love.
I make goals for myself, not just my kids.
It’s a good thing, too, because by age 21 kids have reached a point where the only goals that count are the ones they make for themselves.
Now, one of the goals on my personal list is to butt-out and let the grown kids live the lives they choose.
By the way, when I mentioned the question of hereditarily good kids to my parents, they just laughed.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
I laughed.
“I can’t wait to tell my parents you asked me that question!”
I was not only naughty as a youngster, but oh-so creative with my mischief. So, I don’t know, maybe that gave me an edge when it came to being hard to trick as a parent.
The more people get to know me, the more surprised they are that our kiddoes have turned out so well. How is it that an incredibly dysfunctional mom like me has such well-rounded, mature, respectful children?
Good question.
Anyway, I think setting goals helped focus my parenting.
Before your kids have finished high school and are attending college or working in their first real job, they should be able to:
-Successfully initiate relationships with and interact with people of all backgrounds and ages.
-Discern unhealthy friendships or motives in others and in themselves.
-Ask thoughtful, probing questions in order to respectfully understand other people’s perspective.
-Have a “Savings Account” of stored knowledge to draw on when handling Life’s big issues.
-Have a personal faith that continues to ask questions and sort information.
-Intentionally turn to wise people for advice.
-Speak and write clearly.
-Make clear, modern analogies in order to communicate about deeply held beliefs.
-Set personal goals based on the ambitions they have chosen for their life.
-Prioritize according to their life ambitions and current goals.
-Relax and enjoy the process of living, based on their priorities.
-Be grateful for life’s blessings and be able to express thankfulness.
-Recognize true authority and respect those who have it.
-Practice servant leadership, exercising authority by inspiring others.
-Recognize that they have intrinsic value and that they are loved unconditionally.
I saved the best for last. If you have time to do only one thing on this list before your child leaves home, make your focus unconditional love, even if that means tough love.
I make goals for myself, not just my kids.
It’s a good thing, too, because by age 21 kids have reached a point where the only goals that count are the ones they make for themselves.
Now, one of the goals on my personal list is to butt-out and let the grown kids live the lives they choose.
By the way, when I mentioned the question of hereditarily good kids to my parents, they just laughed.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Goals for 14 Year-Olds
The setting was a familiar one around East Texas, where on any given Sunday, folks gather together to be encouraged and challenged from the pulpit.
This Sunday was special because the youth pastor had the pulpit to speak to the youth. The rest of us old folks were just there to listen in. Sort of like eaves-droppin’ with an occasional “Amen, brother!” thrown in for good measure.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” quoted the youth pastor, looking out over a congregation that included his own two sons near the front where the youth group sat together.
Goal-setting is something we seldom think about when we are young. Unfortunately, even as parents we tend to forget, too. We set goals for work, for our personal finances, even for our family vacations, without ever thinking to set goals for the most important task we face.
With that in mind, here’s a list of goals for 14 year-olds that seem worthy of a parent’s attention. If it seems like a long list, it’s because 14 year-olds are old enough to be adult-like in many, if not all, of their decisions. Ideally, they should be able to:
-Communicate in a way that expresses love.
-Navigate relationships in a responsible and mature way.
-Prepare a simple meal and serve it to the family
-Meet the needs of small children for several hours without help.
-Correct and encourage small children.
-Be aware of their responsibility to be a role model.
-Be faithful to a future spouse whom they don’t know yet.
-Be careful and undistracting about fashion choices.
-Enjoy a reputation for being mature, kind, and responsible.
-Earn and save money.
-Forego instant gratification; not self-indulgent, but self-sacrificing.
-Recognize their own heart’s motivations.
-Recognize the advantage of correction; be willing to hear and act on it.
Okay, that’s a tall order, isn’t it?
It is a list for mature adults.
On the other hand, I was visiting the church that Sunday because I had been invited by one of their youth. An amazing young lady with a tender heart, and a backbone too, she has been a leader at my sons’ school in all the ways that make other parents smile. She and her parents are a constant source of encouragement to our family because they take the tough path, not the easy one when it comes to parenting.
To me, she is a perfect example of what her youth pastor spoke on that day; studying hard, looking toward the future with hope and confidence, and pointing others to Jesus.
Simple goals to talk about, but mighty powerful when it’s lived out in the life a young person.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.co
This Sunday was special because the youth pastor had the pulpit to speak to the youth. The rest of us old folks were just there to listen in. Sort of like eaves-droppin’ with an occasional “Amen, brother!” thrown in for good measure.
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” quoted the youth pastor, looking out over a congregation that included his own two sons near the front where the youth group sat together.
Goal-setting is something we seldom think about when we are young. Unfortunately, even as parents we tend to forget, too. We set goals for work, for our personal finances, even for our family vacations, without ever thinking to set goals for the most important task we face.
With that in mind, here’s a list of goals for 14 year-olds that seem worthy of a parent’s attention. If it seems like a long list, it’s because 14 year-olds are old enough to be adult-like in many, if not all, of their decisions. Ideally, they should be able to:
-Communicate in a way that expresses love.
-Navigate relationships in a responsible and mature way.
-Prepare a simple meal and serve it to the family
-Meet the needs of small children for several hours without help.
-Correct and encourage small children.
-Be aware of their responsibility to be a role model.
-Be faithful to a future spouse whom they don’t know yet.
-Be careful and undistracting about fashion choices.
-Enjoy a reputation for being mature, kind, and responsible.
-Earn and save money.
-Forego instant gratification; not self-indulgent, but self-sacrificing.
-Recognize their own heart’s motivations.
-Recognize the advantage of correction; be willing to hear and act on it.
Okay, that’s a tall order, isn’t it?
It is a list for mature adults.
On the other hand, I was visiting the church that Sunday because I had been invited by one of their youth. An amazing young lady with a tender heart, and a backbone too, she has been a leader at my sons’ school in all the ways that make other parents smile. She and her parents are a constant source of encouragement to our family because they take the tough path, not the easy one when it comes to parenting.
To me, she is a perfect example of what her youth pastor spoke on that day; studying hard, looking toward the future with hope and confidence, and pointing others to Jesus.
Simple goals to talk about, but mighty powerful when it’s lived out in the life a young person.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.co
Goals for 6 Year-Olds
One of her goals for her children was to be able to write a clear, informative letter by the time they were teenagers.
“Goals?” I thought as my friend continued to share ideas with me.
As usual when faced with new information, I got out my pen and paper. Before the week was over I had my first list of parenting goals for my kiddoes.
Having measurable goals for my parenting, made it a lot easier for me to focus on what was really important and let the rest go.
Looking back, here’s the list of things I still think are worthy goals for parents of young children to focus on.
-To be able to play with other children without hurting or scaring anyone. Okay, I added the last part when we realized that raising a boy was going to be a different kind of challenge than raising girls.
-To use their imagination to empathize. At six, they are a little young still, but it is not too soon to begin to emphasize listening with empathy; hearing, respecting, and trying to undersdtand another person’s perspective. Kids always have imagination to spare; they’ll be more successful as adults if they learn this very important use of their imagination early in life.
-To straighten their room and make up their bed without supervision. Now I’ve lost ya, if you have small children, right? And if, like me, you still have a Junior High kid at home, the task seems endless. But, this is not about perfection as much as the attitude that “Trying counts.”
-To have a grateful heart about provision. By six, a child can start to view the blessings of food, clothing, home, and education as privileges, rather than entitlements.
-To be thankful for teachers. I view my kids’ education as my responsibility, so I am always grateful for help. This translates well into my kids’ hearts, especially when anyone other than mom helps them with math.
-To be a part of the family team. I really hate making them do chores; it is so much easier to do it myself. But nothing says “You are a part of this team” like depending on them to do their task to help everyone else.
-To be trustworthy with younger siblings or cousins. By six, they ought to know that it is necessary to be careful with little ones. If they are slow about developing in this important area, by six, it is time to double check with your pediatrician about other, more complicated, developmental issues.
Some of these goals seem hopelessly unrealistic, I know. On the other hand, when we keep at it, we experience success along the way.
In the case of goals, “Trying counts” turns out to be a good motto for parents as well as kids.
Dianne McGirr, this column is dedicated to you, a real friend to me.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
“Goals?” I thought as my friend continued to share ideas with me.
As usual when faced with new information, I got out my pen and paper. Before the week was over I had my first list of parenting goals for my kiddoes.
Having measurable goals for my parenting, made it a lot easier for me to focus on what was really important and let the rest go.
Looking back, here’s the list of things I still think are worthy goals for parents of young children to focus on.
-To be able to play with other children without hurting or scaring anyone. Okay, I added the last part when we realized that raising a boy was going to be a different kind of challenge than raising girls.
-To use their imagination to empathize. At six, they are a little young still, but it is not too soon to begin to emphasize listening with empathy; hearing, respecting, and trying to undersdtand another person’s perspective. Kids always have imagination to spare; they’ll be more successful as adults if they learn this very important use of their imagination early in life.
-To straighten their room and make up their bed without supervision. Now I’ve lost ya, if you have small children, right? And if, like me, you still have a Junior High kid at home, the task seems endless. But, this is not about perfection as much as the attitude that “Trying counts.”
-To have a grateful heart about provision. By six, a child can start to view the blessings of food, clothing, home, and education as privileges, rather than entitlements.
-To be thankful for teachers. I view my kids’ education as my responsibility, so I am always grateful for help. This translates well into my kids’ hearts, especially when anyone other than mom helps them with math.
-To be a part of the family team. I really hate making them do chores; it is so much easier to do it myself. But nothing says “You are a part of this team” like depending on them to do their task to help everyone else.
-To be trustworthy with younger siblings or cousins. By six, they ought to know that it is necessary to be careful with little ones. If they are slow about developing in this important area, by six, it is time to double check with your pediatrician about other, more complicated, developmental issues.
Some of these goals seem hopelessly unrealistic, I know. On the other hand, when we keep at it, we experience success along the way.
In the case of goals, “Trying counts” turns out to be a good motto for parents as well as kids.
Dianne McGirr, this column is dedicated to you, a real friend to me.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Teenage Mythology, Part 1
I glanced across at the 12 year-old person sitting next to me in the front seat of my mini-van. It was a gray day outside. I was taking my time as we drove home from an appointment with the pediatrician.
Not only were the tar roads slick as we passed pastures and small country churches, but I was alone with my oldest. One-on-one time with this special, God-designed creature was a thing to treasure.
“Mom, you won’t believe what the doctor said to me!” she exclaimed.
“She told me ahead of time what she was going to say, Hon. What did you think about it?”
“She just gave me permission to be bratty for the next, what? Eight years?” She looked at me to gauge my reaction. Her eyes were wide open.
I just grinned. I had nothing to worry about from Anna.
As parents, we all have times that we look back and wish we had paid more attention. On the other hand, occasionally we experience one of those rare moments which we recognize as significant even as it occurs. I was enjoying the moment.
“So, what did you think?”
And with that question I opened the door to a discussion I will never forget.
My 12-year old began to list for me things grown-ups believe about teenagers that are simply not true. Here’s the first half of her list:
-There is a category of people who are teenagers.
-People have permission to be bratty because they are teenagers.
-Even the most affectionate child will not be affectionate as a teenager.
-All teenagers are embarrassed by their parents.
-All teenagers reject their parents and rebel.
-If you are too strict with your teenagers, they will go wild in high school or college.
-Kids have a will of their own. Kids make bad choices because of free-will.
As we drove along she wrote these ideas and a bunch more on the back of an old envelope, the only scrap of paper I could find.
I wanted to review the doctor’s perspective with her.
“You have to remember, darlin’, pediatricians see young girls in their offices who are 12 and 13 and pregnant. These are young women who don’t even realize they are grown-ups, who find themselves pregnant. It’s hard for us to even imagine what kind of an adult would take advantage of a young girl that way.”
It was quiet in the car as she digested this information momentarily. I reflected on the how scary the world can be when you are the parent of the most precious three children on the face of the entire earth.
A few years later, when I asked if she would make a corresponding list of truths to replace the myths, she said no.
“People need to answer their own questions, Mom.”
Hmmm…pretty sage advice from a teenager.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Not only were the tar roads slick as we passed pastures and small country churches, but I was alone with my oldest. One-on-one time with this special, God-designed creature was a thing to treasure.
“Mom, you won’t believe what the doctor said to me!” she exclaimed.
“She told me ahead of time what she was going to say, Hon. What did you think about it?”
“She just gave me permission to be bratty for the next, what? Eight years?” She looked at me to gauge my reaction. Her eyes were wide open.
I just grinned. I had nothing to worry about from Anna.
As parents, we all have times that we look back and wish we had paid more attention. On the other hand, occasionally we experience one of those rare moments which we recognize as significant even as it occurs. I was enjoying the moment.
“So, what did you think?”
And with that question I opened the door to a discussion I will never forget.
My 12-year old began to list for me things grown-ups believe about teenagers that are simply not true. Here’s the first half of her list:
-There is a category of people who are teenagers.
-People have permission to be bratty because they are teenagers.
-Even the most affectionate child will not be affectionate as a teenager.
-All teenagers are embarrassed by their parents.
-All teenagers reject their parents and rebel.
-If you are too strict with your teenagers, they will go wild in high school or college.
-Kids have a will of their own. Kids make bad choices because of free-will.
As we drove along she wrote these ideas and a bunch more on the back of an old envelope, the only scrap of paper I could find.
I wanted to review the doctor’s perspective with her.
“You have to remember, darlin’, pediatricians see young girls in their offices who are 12 and 13 and pregnant. These are young women who don’t even realize they are grown-ups, who find themselves pregnant. It’s hard for us to even imagine what kind of an adult would take advantage of a young girl that way.”
It was quiet in the car as she digested this information momentarily. I reflected on the how scary the world can be when you are the parent of the most precious three children on the face of the entire earth.
A few years later, when I asked if she would make a corresponding list of truths to replace the myths, she said no.
“People need to answer their own questions, Mom.”
Hmmm…pretty sage advice from a teenager.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Teenage Mythology, Part 2
I have to confess that I don’t even believe in teenagers.
Personally, I think the concept is a figment of the imagination, a purely American invention.
My perspective is simple really.
Take, for example, the way folks are made. You have people who are too young to reproduce, i.e. children. And you have people who have reached the age of reproduction, i.e. adults. So straightforward.
Of course, I have friends who think my theory is crazy; that teenagers do, in fact, exist.
One such friend is a physician who has explained to me on more than one occasion the complicated physiological experiences unique to those years, especially at puberty.
Okay, but I remain unconvinced.
So what if puberty is the first stage of adulthood and it is a transition? Don’t we all know children who are mature and adults who are immature?
To me, calling one set of the adult population teenagers, just perpetuates the myth that they are excused to be immature until they are twenty.
Is that really what we want?
The following is the other half of a list my daughter began brainstorming as she entered the teenage years herself. We’ve added to the list along the way as a family. The rest of this list is posted on my blog as Teenage Mythology, Part 1.
Here are a few more of the myths about teenagers folks tend to believe are true in American culture.
-Teenagers are subject to hormones.
-Teenagers need to spend time with their peers to develop social skills.
-Dating is necessary to find a spouse.
-If you make kissing a “no-no,” they’ll do it more; the implication being that your child will then progress to more serious sexual activities.
-Homeschoolers are more mature than other teenagers. Or, the corresponding myth, homeschoolers are socially backward.
-It is good for teenagers to be in the youth group at church.
-Those clothes, haircut, tattoo, piercing, are a little on the edge, but you have to pick your battles.
-If you keep teenagers busy enough, they won’t have time for trouble. Or, if they are in enough sports, they will be too tired for trouble.
Sometimes, when I share this list with grown-ups, they have a hard time believing that the myths are not true. All, I can say is that the best lies always have a little truth mixed in.
So, if you find yourself puzzled by something on this list, and you are one of those people who can’t stand an unsolved riddle, feel free to contact me. I never cared much for riddles.
On the other hand, for those of us faced with the responsibility of parenting teenage people, it is worth puzzling it out.
To me, the concept of teenagers is an idea that has done enough damage.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Personally, I think the concept is a figment of the imagination, a purely American invention.
My perspective is simple really.
Take, for example, the way folks are made. You have people who are too young to reproduce, i.e. children. And you have people who have reached the age of reproduction, i.e. adults. So straightforward.
Of course, I have friends who think my theory is crazy; that teenagers do, in fact, exist.
One such friend is a physician who has explained to me on more than one occasion the complicated physiological experiences unique to those years, especially at puberty.
Okay, but I remain unconvinced.
So what if puberty is the first stage of adulthood and it is a transition? Don’t we all know children who are mature and adults who are immature?
To me, calling one set of the adult population teenagers, just perpetuates the myth that they are excused to be immature until they are twenty.
Is that really what we want?
The following is the other half of a list my daughter began brainstorming as she entered the teenage years herself. We’ve added to the list along the way as a family. The rest of this list is posted on my blog as Teenage Mythology, Part 1.
Here are a few more of the myths about teenagers folks tend to believe are true in American culture.
-Teenagers are subject to hormones.
-Teenagers need to spend time with their peers to develop social skills.
-Dating is necessary to find a spouse.
-If you make kissing a “no-no,” they’ll do it more; the implication being that your child will then progress to more serious sexual activities.
-Homeschoolers are more mature than other teenagers. Or, the corresponding myth, homeschoolers are socially backward.
-It is good for teenagers to be in the youth group at church.
-Those clothes, haircut, tattoo, piercing, are a little on the edge, but you have to pick your battles.
-If you keep teenagers busy enough, they won’t have time for trouble. Or, if they are in enough sports, they will be too tired for trouble.
Sometimes, when I share this list with grown-ups, they have a hard time believing that the myths are not true. All, I can say is that the best lies always have a little truth mixed in.
So, if you find yourself puzzled by something on this list, and you are one of those people who can’t stand an unsolved riddle, feel free to contact me. I never cared much for riddles.
On the other hand, for those of us faced with the responsibility of parenting teenage people, it is worth puzzling it out.
To me, the concept of teenagers is an idea that has done enough damage.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
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