This time of year I always have one more reason to be thankful; I’m still here.
Yep, my birthday is in the fall and in honor of the occasion, every year I give myself the gift I really want; a better community. One small check at a time.
Here’s the 2008 list of winners of the Checklist Charlie’s Birthday List of Favorite Community Groups in East Texas.
-The Lift the Library Fund supporting the library in Frankston, where since the mid-80s, books have shared quarters with the Depot Museum. Send checks c/o First State Bank PO Box 277 Frankston TX 75763. The Bullard Library, housed in the familiar old log cabin downtown, it is time Bullard’s library had the space to match their hard work, vision, and community service. PO Box 368, Bullard TX 75757. The Noonday Library where Miss Loretta blesses folks by knowing their names and ordering new books with specific kiddoes in mind. 16662 CR 196 Tyler TX 75703.
-The Neonatal Unit at Trinity Mother Frances. We have always had to load extremely sick newborns into helicopters and ship them off to Dallas, where their families had to cope with the additional burden of travel and lodging. Fortunately that is about to change. It can’t happen soon enough. Donations should be marked Neonatal ICU and can be mailed to Trinity MFHS Foundation at 611 Fleishel, Tyler TX 75701.
-Bathesda Health Clinic. Step inside the clinic and you will immediately recognize that the key to their success is their commitment. Providing health care for the working underinsured of Smith County, Bethesda is primarily staffed by hundreds of doctors, nurses and other volunteers. Plus, while patients pay a small fee, the burden of the cost is shouldered by visionary private donors.
-Discovery Science Place. I love the attitude of teaching kiddoes while they are having fun. I respect all the sacrifices made along the way by the team of community leaders who have worked hard to give East Texas a science museum and then used the facilities to bless lots of families, including my own. They make my list every year: 308 N. Broadway, Tyler TX 75702.
-Pine Cove Christian Camps, where scholarships make it possible for many military families to attend family camp -sometimes while daddy is on tour- and also Boys and Girls Club kiddoes attend camp every summer because of lots of small gifts from people like you and me. Mark checks “scholarship” and mail to PO Box 9055, Tyler TX 75711.
-The TISD Foundation. Every community should be so blessed to have folks willing to give their own money to improve and empower the public schools. One of the oldest education foundations in Texas, this pioneer in public school philanthropy is always coming up with new ways to make public school education better in Tyler. If your business benefits from people raised in the TISD, why not put a check in the mail in honor of your employees? Or if you are interested in learning more about how an education foundation can serve the community, go to www.tylerisd.org.
This Birthday List distinction does not come with a trophy, but it does have a cash prize. I’m turning 50, so I’m sending $50 to each of the lucky winners. They also get listed on my blog. Whoop-te-do, right?
Yeah, I know it’s not much, so I’m hoping you’ll find it in you heart to put a check in an envelope, too. Either to the groups on this list or to the folks you know who are working hard in this community.
They tell me every little bit counts. I believe them. Obviously.
Better communities is a gift we can all be thankful for.
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Miracle of Alzheimer's
My friend Ed has Alzheimer’s.
One of my first encounters with Ed happened over twelve years ago. It was a rainy day and I saw Ed’s car stranded by the side of the road with a police car pulled up behind it. Fortunately, my husband has a habit of keeping huge golf umbrellas in my car.
Ed and I and the officer stood in a dry island, our own little universe of three people under my big umbrella. Ed talked about faith and we prayed for God’s protection for the officer while we waited for the tow truck.
I know it was twelve years or more because my son wasn’t yet born. My son has only known a world that included Ed.
Ed, and his wife Kathy, always kept candy in a drawer just in case the neighborhood kids happened to ring the doorbell which, naturally, the kids did on a regular basis. After a while, Ed started sharing his stash of ice cream bars. William, my son, would return home from errands to their house with one for mom, knowing that if I didn’t eat it, he would get two.
Ed, a brilliant, gentle giant of a man, spent his career teaching teachers at Lutheran colleges.
I know that Alzheimer’s is unpredictable. Still, if I didn’t know better, I would think that the reason that Ed still has access to the teaching and the gentleness tracks in his brain is because those are the tracks he used most often over the years.
Observing Ed teach is a sight to behold.
Now days, when we go visit Ed, he gives my son putting lessons. Each time William misses the putt, Ed gently shows him again how to line up his golf club against the plastic target on the other end of the room.
Same lesson every few minutes. Just like it was the first time Ed ever explained it. Because, for Ed now, every few minutes is the first time.
William is learning to listen attentively like it’s the first time for him, too, because he wouldn’t hurt Ed’s feelings for anything in the world.
Actually, putting has turned out to be the strongest point of William’s golf game. Hmm…
Ed’s favorite verse is, “Lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him….”
If you ask Ed about scripture, he will quote these verses from Proverbs 3:5-6 and then, gently explain the many benefits of trusting in the Lord over man’s limited capacity to understand. This from the man who always had brain power to spare.
If you wait a few minutes, he’ll repeat the lesson.
His face will light up and he will repeat the lesson just like it is the very first time he thought of it.
I always try to remember to ask Ed about that scripture when we’re together.
Like golf, some of Life’s lessons are better with repetition.
One of my first encounters with Ed happened over twelve years ago. It was a rainy day and I saw Ed’s car stranded by the side of the road with a police car pulled up behind it. Fortunately, my husband has a habit of keeping huge golf umbrellas in my car.
Ed and I and the officer stood in a dry island, our own little universe of three people under my big umbrella. Ed talked about faith and we prayed for God’s protection for the officer while we waited for the tow truck.
I know it was twelve years or more because my son wasn’t yet born. My son has only known a world that included Ed.
Ed, and his wife Kathy, always kept candy in a drawer just in case the neighborhood kids happened to ring the doorbell which, naturally, the kids did on a regular basis. After a while, Ed started sharing his stash of ice cream bars. William, my son, would return home from errands to their house with one for mom, knowing that if I didn’t eat it, he would get two.
Ed, a brilliant, gentle giant of a man, spent his career teaching teachers at Lutheran colleges.
I know that Alzheimer’s is unpredictable. Still, if I didn’t know better, I would think that the reason that Ed still has access to the teaching and the gentleness tracks in his brain is because those are the tracks he used most often over the years.
Observing Ed teach is a sight to behold.
Now days, when we go visit Ed, he gives my son putting lessons. Each time William misses the putt, Ed gently shows him again how to line up his golf club against the plastic target on the other end of the room.
Same lesson every few minutes. Just like it was the first time Ed ever explained it. Because, for Ed now, every few minutes is the first time.
William is learning to listen attentively like it’s the first time for him, too, because he wouldn’t hurt Ed’s feelings for anything in the world.
Actually, putting has turned out to be the strongest point of William’s golf game. Hmm…
Ed’s favorite verse is, “Lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him….”
If you ask Ed about scripture, he will quote these verses from Proverbs 3:5-6 and then, gently explain the many benefits of trusting in the Lord over man’s limited capacity to understand. This from the man who always had brain power to spare.
If you wait a few minutes, he’ll repeat the lesson.
His face will light up and he will repeat the lesson just like it is the very first time he thought of it.
I always try to remember to ask Ed about that scripture when we’re together.
Like golf, some of Life’s lessons are better with repetition.
How to be the Spouse at a Business Gathering
My friend sat at the table, looking quiet and lost.
Normally talkative, entertaining, and outgoing, I wondered if he was coming down with a cold, or something.
Then, it dawned on me, it was the first time he had ever been the spouse at a business meeting.
Normally, he was the boss and his wife was the sidekick. With their roles reversed, he was clearly feeling like a duck out of water.
This is the time of year when holiday parties happen.
With that in mind, I am passing along some tips from my vast experience of being the sidekick.
Number one: It’s not about you.
-Don’t compare yourself to anyone else in the room.
-Don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you. It is irrelevant.
-Do focus on the other people.
-Keep all humor self-effacing. Tell stories on your spouse that highlight a wonderful character quality.
Number Two: It IS about your spouse, sort-of.
-Brag about your spouse. Make any comments that begin with “I am so proud of the way my spouse…”
-Be careful not to say anything that implies need for improvement.
-Dress in a way that honors the other person, neat and modest. Not sloppy, frumpy, and certainly not too vavoom.
-Remember that it never reflects well on your spouse if you get sloshed; better not drink if you can’t control yourself.
Last and most importantly: It is really about the co-workers.
-Greet each person, each time, with warmth and genuine interest.
-Ask open-ended, noncontroversial questions.
-Listen attentively like the person is the only human in the room.
-Look for ways to encourage your spouse’s co-workers.
-Say the positive things you know to be true, for example, “I’ve heard my spouse say how much he respects you.”
-Keep a grateful heart and express thankfulness where it is appropriate, “I am thankful for the things you do to help my spouse.”
-Be open to new friendships.
-Keep in mind that holidays can be difficult for folks because of grief or painful memories; be gentle and tender, aware and attentive to how people may be suffering this time of year.
Above all, have fun and enjoy being the sidekick in your spouse’s world.
Normally talkative, entertaining, and outgoing, I wondered if he was coming down with a cold, or something.
Then, it dawned on me, it was the first time he had ever been the spouse at a business meeting.
Normally, he was the boss and his wife was the sidekick. With their roles reversed, he was clearly feeling like a duck out of water.
This is the time of year when holiday parties happen.
With that in mind, I am passing along some tips from my vast experience of being the sidekick.
Number one: It’s not about you.
-Don’t compare yourself to anyone else in the room.
-Don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you. It is irrelevant.
-Do focus on the other people.
-Keep all humor self-effacing. Tell stories on your spouse that highlight a wonderful character quality.
Number Two: It IS about your spouse, sort-of.
-Brag about your spouse. Make any comments that begin with “I am so proud of the way my spouse…”
-Be careful not to say anything that implies need for improvement.
-Dress in a way that honors the other person, neat and modest. Not sloppy, frumpy, and certainly not too vavoom.
-Remember that it never reflects well on your spouse if you get sloshed; better not drink if you can’t control yourself.
Last and most importantly: It is really about the co-workers.
-Greet each person, each time, with warmth and genuine interest.
-Ask open-ended, noncontroversial questions.
-Listen attentively like the person is the only human in the room.
-Look for ways to encourage your spouse’s co-workers.
-Say the positive things you know to be true, for example, “I’ve heard my spouse say how much he respects you.”
-Keep a grateful heart and express thankfulness where it is appropriate, “I am thankful for the things you do to help my spouse.”
-Be open to new friendships.
-Keep in mind that holidays can be difficult for folks because of grief or painful memories; be gentle and tender, aware and attentive to how people may be suffering this time of year.
Above all, have fun and enjoy being the sidekick in your spouse’s world.
The Gift of Integrity
This time of year, while I’m checking the list of what our kids want for Christmas, I try to get what they need, too.
Integrity may not be as high on our son’s Christmas list as, say, Wii, but it’s a lot more practical in the long run. Unfortunately, integrity will cost me more, too.
Integrity is not as easy as it sounds.
When we think of integrity, we think of a person who consistently does what is right.
Just when I think my heart attitude and my behavior are starting to reflect some kind of maturity, I goof up. Fifty years of practicing the goof-ups just takes it toll, I guess.
With that in mind, I’ve come up with a workable solution to the problem of integrity; I simply re-defined the word.
If you like this definition, it can be yours:
Being the “you” that God designed and expressing it in a way that blesses others.
Somehow as humans, we got the message that we are expected to be perfect. Maybe that’s because the New Testament Greek word for mature is frequently translated, poorly, as perfect.
Perfect brings to mind cookie-cutter people who never make mistakes. How boring! Even scary, like test-tube, lab designed perfection.
We associate perfection with a wrath-full God and miss the point.
God designed us to be human, not demi-gods. Actually, the effort to be god-like is the very presumption that got Satan, then Eve, then Adam, into trouble in the first place. Oh yeah, and the rest of us, too.
No, as we seek maturity, what we should be emulating is God’s sacrificial nature. A pretty tall order for folks with clay feet and fifty years of practicing selfish goof-ups.
Maturity means expressing sacrifice in a way that is unique to our own God-designed personality.
God, who knows us so well and loves us in the very moment of our human frailties and goof-ups, gave us a helpful hint in the form of the Golden Rule.
The Golden Rule. So Simple. So straightforward.
Even the smallest child can quote it. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So easy to wrap your brain around.
Unfortunately, the heart has a mind of its own.
For those momentary lapses when the Golden Rule slips beyond our grasp, there’s always confession.
The right heart attitude plus confession equals a restored balance.
Integrity, not perfection.
Not being god-like, just being human with an emphasis on sacrifice and confession.
Now there’s a kind of integrity I can relate to.
It won’t replace the goof-ups altogether, but with a little practice, it might prove to be simpler to pass along to my kids.
At Christmas or any time, integrity is the perfect gift.
Integrity may not be as high on our son’s Christmas list as, say, Wii, but it’s a lot more practical in the long run. Unfortunately, integrity will cost me more, too.
Integrity is not as easy as it sounds.
When we think of integrity, we think of a person who consistently does what is right.
Just when I think my heart attitude and my behavior are starting to reflect some kind of maturity, I goof up. Fifty years of practicing the goof-ups just takes it toll, I guess.
With that in mind, I’ve come up with a workable solution to the problem of integrity; I simply re-defined the word.
If you like this definition, it can be yours:
Being the “you” that God designed and expressing it in a way that blesses others.
Somehow as humans, we got the message that we are expected to be perfect. Maybe that’s because the New Testament Greek word for mature is frequently translated, poorly, as perfect.
Perfect brings to mind cookie-cutter people who never make mistakes. How boring! Even scary, like test-tube, lab designed perfection.
We associate perfection with a wrath-full God and miss the point.
God designed us to be human, not demi-gods. Actually, the effort to be god-like is the very presumption that got Satan, then Eve, then Adam, into trouble in the first place. Oh yeah, and the rest of us, too.
No, as we seek maturity, what we should be emulating is God’s sacrificial nature. A pretty tall order for folks with clay feet and fifty years of practicing selfish goof-ups.
Maturity means expressing sacrifice in a way that is unique to our own God-designed personality.
God, who knows us so well and loves us in the very moment of our human frailties and goof-ups, gave us a helpful hint in the form of the Golden Rule.
The Golden Rule. So Simple. So straightforward.
Even the smallest child can quote it. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So easy to wrap your brain around.
Unfortunately, the heart has a mind of its own.
For those momentary lapses when the Golden Rule slips beyond our grasp, there’s always confession.
The right heart attitude plus confession equals a restored balance.
Integrity, not perfection.
Not being god-like, just being human with an emphasis on sacrifice and confession.
Now there’s a kind of integrity I can relate to.
It won’t replace the goof-ups altogether, but with a little practice, it might prove to be simpler to pass along to my kids.
At Christmas or any time, integrity is the perfect gift.
Winning the Wardrobe Wars
“She is sensible.”
At our house, that is the highest form of praise a girl can get.
As opposed to the biggest insult which is “She is silly!” Translated: boy-crazy.
As the mom of a boy, I can’t help but notice some of the girls’ wardrobe tendencies. I have a few ideas for moms out there who will be gearing up to take their daughters Christmas shopping for clothes.
First, please, let little girls stay little as long as you can. Please.
Especially in elementary school, little girls do not need to show up dressed like rock stars.
Those outfits are fun costumes for home and for pretend, but please come to school dressed for success.
Secondly, dressing for success is a good idea for Junior High and older, too.
Moms, here is some ammunition to share at the mall with your daughters when you need reinforcements to win the wardrobe wars.
-Boys’ moms are busy pointing out the girls who are not behaving sensibly.
-We are training our sons to be kind, but recognize girls who are needy.
-We identify needy girls not only by how they behave, but also by how they dress.
-We are teaching our sons to avoid girls who dress vavoom-ishly. So, that cute, tight top she wants might become the very reason a boy avoids her.
-A consistent smile and kindness are the things most boys finds interesting in a girl.
-If a girl is a good listener, a good tutor, and a good athlete, she will earn the respect of her peers, including the boys. Unless, of course, her clothes are distracting.
-All the boys’ moms talk. We know who the girls are that are respected by our sons.
-We try not to say anything unkind about anyone, but we can’t help but know who is getting the wrong kind of attention. Please tell your daughters that while they will attract some attention with vavoom-y outfits, it probably won’t be attention they want.
-Boys don’t like it when the girl asks out the boy, my son added.
“Don’t date ‘til college,” was his comment when I asked his opinion about this column.
Not bad advice if a kid’s goal is to be successful.
Waiting to date, as opposed to being boy-crazy, for example, takes all the pressure off of a girl’s wardrobe, too. It gives a girl plenty of time to acquire skills and to study.
Not to mention, time to play team sports or learn a musical instrument. Or both.
Waiting to date gives a girl time to have some fun, to hang out, and to build friendships. Sensibly. All without getting her heart broken every few months.
Keeping your daughter’s heart whole is a good reason to pay attention to the wardrobe wars.
At our house, that is the highest form of praise a girl can get.
As opposed to the biggest insult which is “She is silly!” Translated: boy-crazy.
As the mom of a boy, I can’t help but notice some of the girls’ wardrobe tendencies. I have a few ideas for moms out there who will be gearing up to take their daughters Christmas shopping for clothes.
First, please, let little girls stay little as long as you can. Please.
Especially in elementary school, little girls do not need to show up dressed like rock stars.
Those outfits are fun costumes for home and for pretend, but please come to school dressed for success.
Secondly, dressing for success is a good idea for Junior High and older, too.
Moms, here is some ammunition to share at the mall with your daughters when you need reinforcements to win the wardrobe wars.
-Boys’ moms are busy pointing out the girls who are not behaving sensibly.
-We are training our sons to be kind, but recognize girls who are needy.
-We identify needy girls not only by how they behave, but also by how they dress.
-We are teaching our sons to avoid girls who dress vavoom-ishly. So, that cute, tight top she wants might become the very reason a boy avoids her.
-A consistent smile and kindness are the things most boys finds interesting in a girl.
-If a girl is a good listener, a good tutor, and a good athlete, she will earn the respect of her peers, including the boys. Unless, of course, her clothes are distracting.
-All the boys’ moms talk. We know who the girls are that are respected by our sons.
-We try not to say anything unkind about anyone, but we can’t help but know who is getting the wrong kind of attention. Please tell your daughters that while they will attract some attention with vavoom-y outfits, it probably won’t be attention they want.
-Boys don’t like it when the girl asks out the boy, my son added.
“Don’t date ‘til college,” was his comment when I asked his opinion about this column.
Not bad advice if a kid’s goal is to be successful.
Waiting to date, as opposed to being boy-crazy, for example, takes all the pressure off of a girl’s wardrobe, too. It gives a girl plenty of time to acquire skills and to study.
Not to mention, time to play team sports or learn a musical instrument. Or both.
Waiting to date gives a girl time to have some fun, to hang out, and to build friendships. Sensibly. All without getting her heart broken every few months.
Keeping your daughter’s heart whole is a good reason to pay attention to the wardrobe wars.
Heroes I Know: Max
“You can’t out-give God and you can’t out-give Max.”
That’s the way we say it at our house.
Max is our next door neighbor and we know a lot about him. It’s hard to hide anything when you share driveways.
His generosity is a fact of daily life for our family; particularly for my son.
My son was blessed with a treasure-load of grandfathers. Not only did he inherit two of the best grandfathers in the world, just by being our kid, but, for some reason, he is also blessed with plenty of surrogates.
He must be some kind of grandfather magnet.
Maybe old guys see my son and remember what it was like to be a boy; young, invincible, and full of dreams and imagination. Or maybe they see me and recognize a woman who has her hands full with this kid. Either way, I’m thankful.
William has been following around behind Max since he was big enough to toddle.
Together, they’ve battled snakes with shovels, made wooden creations in Max’s shop, built campfires, and trained our dog to sit for treats.
Over the years, Max has included my son on adventures when his own grandsons visit, turning hikes into expeditions and a dip in the lake into celebrations of boyhood.
All the while demonstrating a vast generosity of spirit that is synonymous with his faith.
Oh yeah, and he prays. A lot.
How do I know? I ask him to and I can tell by the way he follows up.
I would have been willing to spend a lot more to get this house, if I had known that prayer came as part of the package
Right now, Max is battling cancer again.
It must be exhausting work. I can tell by the way it takes all his energy just to get the newspaper.
He still has energy to check on us. To love my son. To love his kids and grandkids. And his wife of more than sixty years.
So, I’m praying for Max, not that I’ll ever be able to catch up with all the gifts of prayer he has given me over the years.
I know people who pray for parking spaces. Okay, maybe I’ve done it myself once in awhile. Not any more though.
To me, miracles are about life, not parking spaces. I am discovering as I age that life happens deep within. The body is essential to our survival on this planet, but there is more.
Somewhere beyond our body, and, at the same time, somewhere deep inside ourselves, we know that life is happening regardless of our physical condition.
When our bodies are done, life will still happen.
Sounds cosmic, and yet, we know. Somehow, we know.
Maybe it’s because Max’s spirit is bigger than his body. More real somehow.
That’s the way we say it at our house.
Max is our next door neighbor and we know a lot about him. It’s hard to hide anything when you share driveways.
His generosity is a fact of daily life for our family; particularly for my son.
My son was blessed with a treasure-load of grandfathers. Not only did he inherit two of the best grandfathers in the world, just by being our kid, but, for some reason, he is also blessed with plenty of surrogates.
He must be some kind of grandfather magnet.
Maybe old guys see my son and remember what it was like to be a boy; young, invincible, and full of dreams and imagination. Or maybe they see me and recognize a woman who has her hands full with this kid. Either way, I’m thankful.
William has been following around behind Max since he was big enough to toddle.
Together, they’ve battled snakes with shovels, made wooden creations in Max’s shop, built campfires, and trained our dog to sit for treats.
Over the years, Max has included my son on adventures when his own grandsons visit, turning hikes into expeditions and a dip in the lake into celebrations of boyhood.
All the while demonstrating a vast generosity of spirit that is synonymous with his faith.
Oh yeah, and he prays. A lot.
How do I know? I ask him to and I can tell by the way he follows up.
I would have been willing to spend a lot more to get this house, if I had known that prayer came as part of the package
Right now, Max is battling cancer again.
It must be exhausting work. I can tell by the way it takes all his energy just to get the newspaper.
He still has energy to check on us. To love my son. To love his kids and grandkids. And his wife of more than sixty years.
So, I’m praying for Max, not that I’ll ever be able to catch up with all the gifts of prayer he has given me over the years.
I know people who pray for parking spaces. Okay, maybe I’ve done it myself once in awhile. Not any more though.
To me, miracles are about life, not parking spaces. I am discovering as I age that life happens deep within. The body is essential to our survival on this planet, but there is more.
Somewhere beyond our body, and, at the same time, somewhere deep inside ourselves, we know that life is happening regardless of our physical condition.
When our bodies are done, life will still happen.
Sounds cosmic, and yet, we know. Somehow, we know.
Maybe it’s because Max’s spirit is bigger than his body. More real somehow.
Rain Means New Growth
It is raining today as a write.
It is a beautiful, drippy rain that gently announces springtime has arrived in East Texas. The sky is my favorite light-soaked gray that spotlights all the vibrant greens and pinks, as if nature is declaring in triumph that new growth is pushing up yet again.
I’m glad it is raining today, even though I was thankful for the window of sunshine that appeared in perfect timing for my firstborn’s outdoor wedding.
The rain fits my mood.
“It’s a lot like childbirth all over again,” whispered a dear friend as I stared off vacantly in a momentary lull at the reception. There was laughter all around me, but I wasn’t paying attention until she leaned in to whisper her encouragement.
I snapped back to reality.
“I didn’t expect it to hurt this much,” I whispered, looking deeply into my friend’s eyes, soaking up her compassion as she nodded with understanding.
Each time I gave birth to my children I purposely stayed at the hospital an extra day to heal. I knew once they loaded me into that wheelchair and pushed me out the front door, that I would be the caretaker of that delightful little bundle. I needed to be ready.
I figure waving goodbye to your firstborn as she happily skips away holding the hand of her beloved qualifies as one of those rewards in life that requires astonishing courage.
So, I’m taking the day off today.
Tomorrow, I will wake up, put on my game face, focus my attention on eternity, and get back in the game of life. I will focus a thankful heart on the small blessings that happen each moment for the person who is paying attention.
Tomorrow, I will drop my son off at school and holler out the window as I drive away, “You are the best boy in the whole world!”
I will interview my friend who made planning a wedding and a reception a piece of cake; a delicious, three-tiered white cake with a hand-painted topper of the bride and groom, to be exact.
I will call another friend who is planning her daughter’s wedding and I will ask if her bride has chosen her colors yet. I will give my friend the heads-up on what the process will cost her emotionally.
I will pack my suitcase for a weekend away with the groom I chose almost twenty-five years ago.
Today, however, I am going to wrap a blanket around myself. I am going to reflect on the birthing process. I am going to consider the difference between physical birth and emotionally letting go.
And I am going to watch it rain.
It is a beautiful, drippy rain that gently announces springtime has arrived in East Texas. The sky is my favorite light-soaked gray that spotlights all the vibrant greens and pinks, as if nature is declaring in triumph that new growth is pushing up yet again.
I’m glad it is raining today, even though I was thankful for the window of sunshine that appeared in perfect timing for my firstborn’s outdoor wedding.
The rain fits my mood.
“It’s a lot like childbirth all over again,” whispered a dear friend as I stared off vacantly in a momentary lull at the reception. There was laughter all around me, but I wasn’t paying attention until she leaned in to whisper her encouragement.
I snapped back to reality.
“I didn’t expect it to hurt this much,” I whispered, looking deeply into my friend’s eyes, soaking up her compassion as she nodded with understanding.
Each time I gave birth to my children I purposely stayed at the hospital an extra day to heal. I knew once they loaded me into that wheelchair and pushed me out the front door, that I would be the caretaker of that delightful little bundle. I needed to be ready.
I figure waving goodbye to your firstborn as she happily skips away holding the hand of her beloved qualifies as one of those rewards in life that requires astonishing courage.
So, I’m taking the day off today.
Tomorrow, I will wake up, put on my game face, focus my attention on eternity, and get back in the game of life. I will focus a thankful heart on the small blessings that happen each moment for the person who is paying attention.
Tomorrow, I will drop my son off at school and holler out the window as I drive away, “You are the best boy in the whole world!”
I will interview my friend who made planning a wedding and a reception a piece of cake; a delicious, three-tiered white cake with a hand-painted topper of the bride and groom, to be exact.
I will call another friend who is planning her daughter’s wedding and I will ask if her bride has chosen her colors yet. I will give my friend the heads-up on what the process will cost her emotionally.
I will pack my suitcase for a weekend away with the groom I chose almost twenty-five years ago.
Today, however, I am going to wrap a blanket around myself. I am going to reflect on the birthing process. I am going to consider the difference between physical birth and emotionally letting go.
And I am going to watch it rain.
It's a Wig!
“It’s a wig,” whispered my new friend, Kristie, as she drew in close to me at the table where we were having lunch in honor of our wonderful daughters.
“You have got to be kidding!” I exclaimed, leaning back to get a good look at the soft brown hair, neatly trimmed and framing her face with the gorgeous smile.
The conversation turned to the heartaches women face in life.
Breast cancer. Divorce. Dating again, ugh. Remarriage.
The beautiful, blond lady across the table shared about the hurt she felt when her first husband came home and told her he wanted a divorce.
She shared about going back to the church where they had been active, respected members and facing the humiliation of a divorce.
“You find out who your friends are,” she said.
Her daughter is beautiful and blond, too, and highly successful at her university. The pain of her parents’ divorce was momentarily relived on her face as her mother spoke of it.
My thoughts turned to a lady that I met for the first time the day before who cried as she talked about the trauma of infertility.
If only we could spare our daughters the pain of life.
I looked up Kristie’s story on a website called www.breastcancerstories.com. If you go there, click on “read stories,” then scroll down about half way until you see a Kristie from Texas.
I should warn you, it’s personal. She even included pictures of shaving her head.
One of my favorite parts was the nicknames she listed for breast cancer. I’m guessing that “clump in the lump” is the only one that might make it past my editor’s red pen. The other nicknames demonstrate a more creative, free approach to the English language. I laughed. Personally, being a writer, I appreciate new ways to use old words.
But the best thing about Kristie’s story is the way she is so honest about her fear. In writing about her cancer, she keeps coming back to her relationships.
That’s probably why I instantaneously liked her as we sat together. Her heart and life seemed available to me.
I guess the best we can hope for, as women, is to live honestly before our daughters. Maybe as we lean on our friends in life’s crises, they can see what strength looks like. Not being perfect, but being vulnerable, being patient, being resilient.
Facing life bald. Putting on a wig and a smile and looking for a chance to encourage someone else before we die. Today, in case today is all we get.
And leaving our children, especially our daughters, the inheritance of knowing what unconditional friendship looks like.
The beautiful blond lady missed the first part of the conversation, but she suddenly realized we were talking about Kristie’s cancer.
“It’s a wig?!” she exclaimed.
“You have got to be kidding!” I exclaimed, leaning back to get a good look at the soft brown hair, neatly trimmed and framing her face with the gorgeous smile.
The conversation turned to the heartaches women face in life.
Breast cancer. Divorce. Dating again, ugh. Remarriage.
The beautiful, blond lady across the table shared about the hurt she felt when her first husband came home and told her he wanted a divorce.
She shared about going back to the church where they had been active, respected members and facing the humiliation of a divorce.
“You find out who your friends are,” she said.
Her daughter is beautiful and blond, too, and highly successful at her university. The pain of her parents’ divorce was momentarily relived on her face as her mother spoke of it.
My thoughts turned to a lady that I met for the first time the day before who cried as she talked about the trauma of infertility.
If only we could spare our daughters the pain of life.
I looked up Kristie’s story on a website called www.breastcancerstories.com. If you go there, click on “read stories,” then scroll down about half way until you see a Kristie from Texas.
I should warn you, it’s personal. She even included pictures of shaving her head.
One of my favorite parts was the nicknames she listed for breast cancer. I’m guessing that “clump in the lump” is the only one that might make it past my editor’s red pen. The other nicknames demonstrate a more creative, free approach to the English language. I laughed. Personally, being a writer, I appreciate new ways to use old words.
But the best thing about Kristie’s story is the way she is so honest about her fear. In writing about her cancer, she keeps coming back to her relationships.
That’s probably why I instantaneously liked her as we sat together. Her heart and life seemed available to me.
I guess the best we can hope for, as women, is to live honestly before our daughters. Maybe as we lean on our friends in life’s crises, they can see what strength looks like. Not being perfect, but being vulnerable, being patient, being resilient.
Facing life bald. Putting on a wig and a smile and looking for a chance to encourage someone else before we die. Today, in case today is all we get.
And leaving our children, especially our daughters, the inheritance of knowing what unconditional friendship looks like.
The beautiful blond lady missed the first part of the conversation, but she suddenly realized we were talking about Kristie’s cancer.
“It’s a wig?!” she exclaimed.
Un-cool Mom for President
I’ve decided to run for president.
I’m a cinch to be elected because my platform is so terrific.
No more hand-held technology for people under age to vote.
Of course, I’ll only be an incumbent as long as the next generation is under-age. I can’t even tell you the name of these so-called games; these new-fangled toys that give the kids carpel tunnel syndrome in their thumbs.
Have you noticed that modern games all have initials? Every time my son begs for them yet again, I have no idea what he is talking about.
There he is, asking me for PSPs, X-Boxes, and blah, blah, blahs, and I think we are discussing his spelling homework.
Whatever happened to games with names that normal, alphabet-challenged people could understand?
I definitely have developed a game aversion. So, how did I end up in charge of games for a recent school party? Good question.
Each and every year, my son volunteers me to be homeroom mom. Each and every year, I un-volunteer myself. I just couldn’t do that to his teachers; I respect them too much.
Some moms are known for their organizational skills; some of us are not. I recently got asked to help with a party, even though I was way down on the list, you understand. The other moms were desperate.
Some of us normally bring chips or cookies to these events, something the other mothers can get along without in case we forget again. In all these years, it never occurred to me to actually notice what the activities were at the parties.
Naturally, I planned games for this particular event.
Marbles, Jacks, and a fast-paced card game called Pounce. Pounce must not be on any electronic devices yet because it turned out the kids had no idea how to play it.
Of course, most moms would know that it is a terrifically un-cool to plan a party at school around such old-fashioned, un-electronic games.
On the other hand, my children are pretty well-adjusted to the fact that their mother is the most un-cool human on the planet. And I am totally proud of it too, I might add.
It turns out that some of the kids in his class are not as versed in coolness as my son. They actually loved Marbles, Jacks, and Pounce.
They liked the games so much that we sent them home with the toys and cards so they could teach their siblings how to play.
Un-cool moms unite! We might be onto something here.
So, here are the games I’m taking to the next party at school.
-Paddle balls
-Chinese Checkers
-Badminton
-Whiffle Ball
Someone told me that elementary schools are no longer allowed to teach soft ball on campus because anger management and baseball bats don’t mix well. Too many bullies.
We had bullies back in the dark ages when I was in school. Kids of our era had survival skills, I guess. We knew which kids to trust with a bat.
So, my fellow Americans, I am calling on all un-cool moms to restore America’s favorite pastime to the next generation: Teach whiffle ball at the next school party. I think hotdogs could replace the cookies and chips, too, by the way.
I also like whoopee cushions. They are funny. In a very elementary school kind of way.
Whoopee cushions have an added benefit; I’m pretty sure if we bring whoopee cushions to school we absolutely will not be invited to plan anything else ever again.
Wow! I just had another great thought! Imagine how effectively I can embarrass my kids by running for President!
I can see the headlines now: “Un-cool Mom Wins Primary Based on Universal Hatred of Game-boy.”
Whatever Game-boy is.
I’m a cinch to be elected because my platform is so terrific.
No more hand-held technology for people under age to vote.
Of course, I’ll only be an incumbent as long as the next generation is under-age. I can’t even tell you the name of these so-called games; these new-fangled toys that give the kids carpel tunnel syndrome in their thumbs.
Have you noticed that modern games all have initials? Every time my son begs for them yet again, I have no idea what he is talking about.
There he is, asking me for PSPs, X-Boxes, and blah, blah, blahs, and I think we are discussing his spelling homework.
Whatever happened to games with names that normal, alphabet-challenged people could understand?
I definitely have developed a game aversion. So, how did I end up in charge of games for a recent school party? Good question.
Each and every year, my son volunteers me to be homeroom mom. Each and every year, I un-volunteer myself. I just couldn’t do that to his teachers; I respect them too much.
Some moms are known for their organizational skills; some of us are not. I recently got asked to help with a party, even though I was way down on the list, you understand. The other moms were desperate.
Some of us normally bring chips or cookies to these events, something the other mothers can get along without in case we forget again. In all these years, it never occurred to me to actually notice what the activities were at the parties.
Naturally, I planned games for this particular event.
Marbles, Jacks, and a fast-paced card game called Pounce. Pounce must not be on any electronic devices yet because it turned out the kids had no idea how to play it.
Of course, most moms would know that it is a terrifically un-cool to plan a party at school around such old-fashioned, un-electronic games.
On the other hand, my children are pretty well-adjusted to the fact that their mother is the most un-cool human on the planet. And I am totally proud of it too, I might add.
It turns out that some of the kids in his class are not as versed in coolness as my son. They actually loved Marbles, Jacks, and Pounce.
They liked the games so much that we sent them home with the toys and cards so they could teach their siblings how to play.
Un-cool moms unite! We might be onto something here.
So, here are the games I’m taking to the next party at school.
-Paddle balls
-Chinese Checkers
-Badminton
-Whiffle Ball
Someone told me that elementary schools are no longer allowed to teach soft ball on campus because anger management and baseball bats don’t mix well. Too many bullies.
We had bullies back in the dark ages when I was in school. Kids of our era had survival skills, I guess. We knew which kids to trust with a bat.
So, my fellow Americans, I am calling on all un-cool moms to restore America’s favorite pastime to the next generation: Teach whiffle ball at the next school party. I think hotdogs could replace the cookies and chips, too, by the way.
I also like whoopee cushions. They are funny. In a very elementary school kind of way.
Whoopee cushions have an added benefit; I’m pretty sure if we bring whoopee cushions to school we absolutely will not be invited to plan anything else ever again.
Wow! I just had another great thought! Imagine how effectively I can embarrass my kids by running for President!
I can see the headlines now: “Un-cool Mom Wins Primary Based on Universal Hatred of Game-boy.”
Whatever Game-boy is.
Momentary Flashes of Brilliamce
It is tough being surrounded by brilliance.
How would you like to be the child that could be counted on to forget your purse at the restaurant?
Or the wife whose motto is, “Nice people always find my stuff.”
Occasionally, I get a glimpse of what it would be like to have a memory.
I had one of those momentarily brilliant flashes recently.
“Is there anything I can bring home for you?” I asked my married daughter over the phone as I was leaving her old apartment where her sister still lives.
“Ooh. Could you take my bike to your house?”
Please understand, the bike had been there so long that there were vines growing over the tires until it is in danger of becoming a bicycle-shaped topiary. Very artistic.
Usually it is me with the artistic habit of forgetting things indefinitely.
My real friends volunteer helpful information all the time. Important information, like today is the day your son needs to turn in his science project. Or tomorrow is the deadline for your article.
I smiled as I loaded the rusty bike into the back end of my SUV. I felt gratified.
You know the feeling?
It must be the same as making the hoop from midcourt in the final seconds of the game. Whoosh!
Or being the first in the class to shout out the right answer to a math problem. Any math problem. Even if you are an adult visiting your child’s 5th grade math class, not that I am admitting that I have ever done that.
There are advantages to being forgetful, for instance, my children have really low expectations.
Some of my greatest moments in their young lives are the days when we arrived at school and realized that they were all wearing shoes at the same time on each and every foot. Not only that, but they all had socks on each foot, too. And mom was wearing shoes, too.
I always gave myself bonus points if I just got there with each child.
“Where are you mom?” asked an irritated voice calling from the school at 3:15 the other day.
“Isn’t this the day you have a private music lesson with your teacher?” I responded sweetly.
“Oh, yeah. I better go. Bye.”
And mom scores!
I consider it my ministry to make other people feel good about themselves.
So, for instance, if you feel like a failure when it comes to keeping your house clean, you are invited to my house. I have all kinds of original housekeeping solutions.
I would write them down in a list for you, but that would require me to remember what they are. Or even what we were talking about.
How would you like to be the child that could be counted on to forget your purse at the restaurant?
Or the wife whose motto is, “Nice people always find my stuff.”
Occasionally, I get a glimpse of what it would be like to have a memory.
I had one of those momentarily brilliant flashes recently.
“Is there anything I can bring home for you?” I asked my married daughter over the phone as I was leaving her old apartment where her sister still lives.
“Ooh. Could you take my bike to your house?”
Please understand, the bike had been there so long that there were vines growing over the tires until it is in danger of becoming a bicycle-shaped topiary. Very artistic.
Usually it is me with the artistic habit of forgetting things indefinitely.
My real friends volunteer helpful information all the time. Important information, like today is the day your son needs to turn in his science project. Or tomorrow is the deadline for your article.
I smiled as I loaded the rusty bike into the back end of my SUV. I felt gratified.
You know the feeling?
It must be the same as making the hoop from midcourt in the final seconds of the game. Whoosh!
Or being the first in the class to shout out the right answer to a math problem. Any math problem. Even if you are an adult visiting your child’s 5th grade math class, not that I am admitting that I have ever done that.
There are advantages to being forgetful, for instance, my children have really low expectations.
Some of my greatest moments in their young lives are the days when we arrived at school and realized that they were all wearing shoes at the same time on each and every foot. Not only that, but they all had socks on each foot, too. And mom was wearing shoes, too.
I always gave myself bonus points if I just got there with each child.
“Where are you mom?” asked an irritated voice calling from the school at 3:15 the other day.
“Isn’t this the day you have a private music lesson with your teacher?” I responded sweetly.
“Oh, yeah. I better go. Bye.”
And mom scores!
I consider it my ministry to make other people feel good about themselves.
So, for instance, if you feel like a failure when it comes to keeping your house clean, you are invited to my house. I have all kinds of original housekeeping solutions.
I would write them down in a list for you, but that would require me to remember what they are. Or even what we were talking about.
Tyler is Bustling with Fun
Back in the 60’s and 70’s, the young people liked to complain that there was nothing to do in Tyler.
In those days, Tyler wasn’t exactly a one stoplight town, but let’s just say that the street lights went to blink mode after 10:00 p.m. That’s a fact. If you are old enough to remember when small children could safely ride bikes on Loop 323, then, like me, you are getting old, my friend. Even way back then Tyler had two golf courses.
These days, Tyler is bustling. There are so many things to do that it is nearly impossible to list them all. So I put together the eclectic list of things I like best about my old home town.
#1 $2 roses sold by street vendors. Why not buy 10 dozen?
#2 Dance lessons with Sal. Sal Landerus is not paying me for endorsing his lessons, but he really ought to get some benefit from trying to turn a duck into a swan on the dance floor. As I tripped through the lessons my husband gave me for Christmas, I discovered that even if a person never learns to dance just trying is invigorating.
#3 The Freeman’s collection of sculptures. At 1520 Rice Road, Chris Freeman, a dentist by trade, and his wife have created and installed a collection of about twelve pieces. If you have developed an appreciation for contemporary art, you will be thankful for what they have made available to anyone willing to walk to the back of his office.
#4 Water skiing on Lake Tyler. Find some friends with a boat and make them take you skiing because Lake Tyler, now that the drought is over, is once again the prime spot for jumping a wake.
#5 Take a class at TJC. My favorites are Spanish, welding, or anything in the Art Department. Why not come to town one or two nights a week and add a skill to your resume or chase a dream? Anyway, being in town for class gives you a perfect excuse to take in some of the other adventures on this list.
#6 Marvin United Methodist Church. Find your way into the sanctuary downtown and take a moment to savor the beauty of their stain glass windows, not to mention the carved, wooden panels and pews. It won’t cost you a thing, but time and a little reverence.
#7 Scuba. Men love this sport because once they complete the course, they are then required to purchase lots of expensive new gadgets. I suppose this is a good place to mention golf again, speaking of expensive hobbies.
#8 Farm-fresh produce. Aren’t we blessed to live in a place where there is always something fresh from the farms around East Texas? Right now, tomatoes are still on some vines and there are pumpkins to look forward to.
#9 Eat out. With so many restaurants to choose from it seems unfair to name any. Here are my favorites; all locally owned: Potpourri House, The Peking, El Charro, Pico De Gallo, The Tortilla Factory, The Noonday Store, and Bruno’s.
#10 The Obvious. I can’t imagine that there is any child in East Texas who has missed the following fabulous museums and sights, but just in case, be sure to visit Caldwell Zoo, Tyler Museum of Art, Brookshire’s Wildlife Museum and Country Store, Goodman Museum, The Rose Garden, and last, but not least, Discovery Science Place.
With its historic homes, cultural variety, beautiful parks, great restaurants and great shopping, Tyler is a perfect place to take a mini vacation before school starts. Or clip this list and stow it in your dash. Then, next time you have to go to Tyler for business or appointments, let it inspire you to make an adventure out of an ordinary trip to town.
Either way, I hope these ideas will encourage you to take another look at a beautiful East Texas destination.
Now, if my readers will send me their ideas about the courses they love, I will make amends for not knowing a thing about golf, by creating a “Readers’ Favorite East Texas Golf Courses List.”
In those days, Tyler wasn’t exactly a one stoplight town, but let’s just say that the street lights went to blink mode after 10:00 p.m. That’s a fact. If you are old enough to remember when small children could safely ride bikes on Loop 323, then, like me, you are getting old, my friend. Even way back then Tyler had two golf courses.
These days, Tyler is bustling. There are so many things to do that it is nearly impossible to list them all. So I put together the eclectic list of things I like best about my old home town.
#1 $2 roses sold by street vendors. Why not buy 10 dozen?
#2 Dance lessons with Sal. Sal Landerus is not paying me for endorsing his lessons, but he really ought to get some benefit from trying to turn a duck into a swan on the dance floor. As I tripped through the lessons my husband gave me for Christmas, I discovered that even if a person never learns to dance just trying is invigorating.
#3 The Freeman’s collection of sculptures. At 1520 Rice Road, Chris Freeman, a dentist by trade, and his wife have created and installed a collection of about twelve pieces. If you have developed an appreciation for contemporary art, you will be thankful for what they have made available to anyone willing to walk to the back of his office.
#4 Water skiing on Lake Tyler. Find some friends with a boat and make them take you skiing because Lake Tyler, now that the drought is over, is once again the prime spot for jumping a wake.
#5 Take a class at TJC. My favorites are Spanish, welding, or anything in the Art Department. Why not come to town one or two nights a week and add a skill to your resume or chase a dream? Anyway, being in town for class gives you a perfect excuse to take in some of the other adventures on this list.
#6 Marvin United Methodist Church. Find your way into the sanctuary downtown and take a moment to savor the beauty of their stain glass windows, not to mention the carved, wooden panels and pews. It won’t cost you a thing, but time and a little reverence.
#7 Scuba. Men love this sport because once they complete the course, they are then required to purchase lots of expensive new gadgets. I suppose this is a good place to mention golf again, speaking of expensive hobbies.
#8 Farm-fresh produce. Aren’t we blessed to live in a place where there is always something fresh from the farms around East Texas? Right now, tomatoes are still on some vines and there are pumpkins to look forward to.
#9 Eat out. With so many restaurants to choose from it seems unfair to name any. Here are my favorites; all locally owned: Potpourri House, The Peking, El Charro, Pico De Gallo, The Tortilla Factory, The Noonday Store, and Bruno’s.
#10 The Obvious. I can’t imagine that there is any child in East Texas who has missed the following fabulous museums and sights, but just in case, be sure to visit Caldwell Zoo, Tyler Museum of Art, Brookshire’s Wildlife Museum and Country Store, Goodman Museum, The Rose Garden, and last, but not least, Discovery Science Place.
With its historic homes, cultural variety, beautiful parks, great restaurants and great shopping, Tyler is a perfect place to take a mini vacation before school starts. Or clip this list and stow it in your dash. Then, next time you have to go to Tyler for business or appointments, let it inspire you to make an adventure out of an ordinary trip to town.
Either way, I hope these ideas will encourage you to take another look at a beautiful East Texas destination.
Now, if my readers will send me their ideas about the courses they love, I will make amends for not knowing a thing about golf, by creating a “Readers’ Favorite East Texas Golf Courses List.”
Attention Motorcycle Mamas
Attention all Motorcycle Mamas. Now is the time to straddle a bike with your leather-lovin’ sweetheart and rumble on down the highway. Brmm, brmmm….
I couldn’t help but be jealous as my chunky SUV pulled up next to a revved up couple on their shiny black and chrome horse recently in Bastrop, Texas.
There’s a glorious little historic triangle between Bastrop, Goliad, and Victoria that just begs for the feel of the wind in your face. Every turn in the road brings new vistas of green Texas farmland complete with quaint farm houses, camera-worthy courthouses and libraries, and, for lovers of colonial art, Catholic missions and cathedrals.
On the way home, travel Hwy 237 between La Grange and Brenham, for scenery that is something like a mix between the 1800s and First Monday, centered around Round Top, but spreading out for miles along the highway.
If you take to the trail in Central Texas don’t miss these memory-making experiences:
-Bastrop’s main street, which is lined with historic store-fronts now showcasing boutiques, antique stores, and cafes, feels like Jesse James could show up any minute.
The Bastrop Visitor’s Center, in a bank building from the 1800s, has maps and local history lessons dating back to 1821 when Stephen F. Austin first formed his “Little Colony.” It will be no trouble finding a place to park your bike so you can wander the tree-shaded streets hoping to experience any ghosts from this town’s historic past.
-The Mission Espiritu Santo, with kid-friendly exhibits and folks weaving cloth from cotton and wool, was home to Franciscan friars who, after daring attempts to convert cannibalistic tribes, made their home in the beautiful sunlit mission near Goliad from 1749. It is the same spot where Santa Anna once led his troops up the steep limestone incline of the San Antonio River to attack the Texicans.
-Rumble through Victoria’s downtown, pausing to visit the courthouse and the Catholic Cathedral.
- Someone should give those folks in Round Top a medal! Just when we thought Texas was turning into one big metroplex, here’s a whole community of folks caringly preserving the wooden farmhouses of the 1800s along a single-lane, country highway cutting through green, grassy farmland.
Round Top hosts internationally respected musicians on a monthly or weekly basis, thanks to the James Dick Foundation for the Performing Arts, plus, there’s shopping.
They also claim to be one of the “Top 100 Arts Small Towns in America” and I, for one, can’t think of a better excuse to return for a weekend and verify personally that they are telling the truth.
With all that open air and open road, not to mention music, architecture, and culture is it any wonder that even SUV Mamas find their pulse racing? Brmmm…
I couldn’t help but be jealous as my chunky SUV pulled up next to a revved up couple on their shiny black and chrome horse recently in Bastrop, Texas.
There’s a glorious little historic triangle between Bastrop, Goliad, and Victoria that just begs for the feel of the wind in your face. Every turn in the road brings new vistas of green Texas farmland complete with quaint farm houses, camera-worthy courthouses and libraries, and, for lovers of colonial art, Catholic missions and cathedrals.
On the way home, travel Hwy 237 between La Grange and Brenham, for scenery that is something like a mix between the 1800s and First Monday, centered around Round Top, but spreading out for miles along the highway.
If you take to the trail in Central Texas don’t miss these memory-making experiences:
-Bastrop’s main street, which is lined with historic store-fronts now showcasing boutiques, antique stores, and cafes, feels like Jesse James could show up any minute.
The Bastrop Visitor’s Center, in a bank building from the 1800s, has maps and local history lessons dating back to 1821 when Stephen F. Austin first formed his “Little Colony.” It will be no trouble finding a place to park your bike so you can wander the tree-shaded streets hoping to experience any ghosts from this town’s historic past.
-The Mission Espiritu Santo, with kid-friendly exhibits and folks weaving cloth from cotton and wool, was home to Franciscan friars who, after daring attempts to convert cannibalistic tribes, made their home in the beautiful sunlit mission near Goliad from 1749. It is the same spot where Santa Anna once led his troops up the steep limestone incline of the San Antonio River to attack the Texicans.
-Rumble through Victoria’s downtown, pausing to visit the courthouse and the Catholic Cathedral.
- Someone should give those folks in Round Top a medal! Just when we thought Texas was turning into one big metroplex, here’s a whole community of folks caringly preserving the wooden farmhouses of the 1800s along a single-lane, country highway cutting through green, grassy farmland.
Round Top hosts internationally respected musicians on a monthly or weekly basis, thanks to the James Dick Foundation for the Performing Arts, plus, there’s shopping.
They also claim to be one of the “Top 100 Arts Small Towns in America” and I, for one, can’t think of a better excuse to return for a weekend and verify personally that they are telling the truth.
With all that open air and open road, not to mention music, architecture, and culture is it any wonder that even SUV Mamas find their pulse racing? Brmmm…
Attention Motorcycle Mamas
Attention all Motorcycle Mamas. Now is the time to straddle a bike with your leather-lovin’ sweetheart and rumble on down the highway. Brmm, brmmm….
I couldn’t help but be jealous as my chunky SUV pulled up next to a revved up couple on their shiny black and chrome horse recently in Bastrop, Texas.
There’s a glorious little historic triangle between Bastrop, Goliad, and Victoria that just begs for the feel of the wind in your face. Every turn in the road brings new vistas of green Texas farmland complete with quaint farm houses, camera-worthy courthouses and libraries, and, for lovers of colonial art, Catholic missions and cathedrals.
On the way home, travel Hwy 237 between La Grange and Brenham, for scenery that is something like a mix between the 1800s and First Monday, centered around Round Top, but spreading out for miles along the highway.
If you take to the trail in Central Texas don’t miss these memory-making experiences:
-Bastrop’s main street, which is lined with historic store-fronts now showcasing boutiques, antique stores, and cafes, feels like Jesse James could show up any minute.
The Bastrop Visitor’s Center, in a bank building from the 1800s, has maps and local history lessons dating back to 1821 when Stephen F. Austin first formed his “Little Colony.” It will be no trouble finding a place to park your bike so you can wander the tree-shaded streets hoping to experience any ghosts from this town’s historic past.
-The Mission Espiritu Santo, with kid-friendly exhibits and folks weaving cloth from cotton and wool, was home to Franciscan friars who, after daring attempts to convert cannibalistic tribes, made their home in the beautiful sunlit mission near Goliad from 1749. It is the same spot where Santa Anna once led his troops up the steep limestone incline of the San Antonio River to attack the Texicans.
-Rumble through Victoria’s downtown, pausing to visit the courthouse and the Catholic Cathedral.
- Someone should give those folks in Round Top a medal! Just when we thought Texas was turning into one big metroplex, here’s a whole community of folks caringly preserving the wooden farmhouses of the 1800s along a single-lane, country highway cutting through green, grassy farmland.
Round Top hosts internationally respected musicians on a monthly or weekly basis, thanks to the James Dick Foundation for the Performing Arts, plus, there’s shopping.
They also claim to be one of the “Top 100 Arts Small Towns in America” and I, for one, can’t think of a better excuse to return for a weekend and verify personally that they are telling the truth.
With all that open air and open road, not to mention music, architecture, and culture is it any wonder that even SUV Mamas find their pulse racing? Brmmm…
I couldn’t help but be jealous as my chunky SUV pulled up next to a revved up couple on their shiny black and chrome horse recently in Bastrop, Texas.
There’s a glorious little historic triangle between Bastrop, Goliad, and Victoria that just begs for the feel of the wind in your face. Every turn in the road brings new vistas of green Texas farmland complete with quaint farm houses, camera-worthy courthouses and libraries, and, for lovers of colonial art, Catholic missions and cathedrals.
On the way home, travel Hwy 237 between La Grange and Brenham, for scenery that is something like a mix between the 1800s and First Monday, centered around Round Top, but spreading out for miles along the highway.
If you take to the trail in Central Texas don’t miss these memory-making experiences:
-Bastrop’s main street, which is lined with historic store-fronts now showcasing boutiques, antique stores, and cafes, feels like Jesse James could show up any minute.
The Bastrop Visitor’s Center, in a bank building from the 1800s, has maps and local history lessons dating back to 1821 when Stephen F. Austin first formed his “Little Colony.” It will be no trouble finding a place to park your bike so you can wander the tree-shaded streets hoping to experience any ghosts from this town’s historic past.
-The Mission Espiritu Santo, with kid-friendly exhibits and folks weaving cloth from cotton and wool, was home to Franciscan friars who, after daring attempts to convert cannibalistic tribes, made their home in the beautiful sunlit mission near Goliad from 1749. It is the same spot where Santa Anna once led his troops up the steep limestone incline of the San Antonio River to attack the Texicans.
-Rumble through Victoria’s downtown, pausing to visit the courthouse and the Catholic Cathedral.
- Someone should give those folks in Round Top a medal! Just when we thought Texas was turning into one big metroplex, here’s a whole community of folks caringly preserving the wooden farmhouses of the 1800s along a single-lane, country highway cutting through green, grassy farmland.
Round Top hosts internationally respected musicians on a monthly or weekly basis, thanks to the James Dick Foundation for the Performing Arts, plus, there’s shopping.
They also claim to be one of the “Top 100 Arts Small Towns in America” and I, for one, can’t think of a better excuse to return for a weekend and verify personally that they are telling the truth.
With all that open air and open road, not to mention music, architecture, and culture is it any wonder that even SUV Mamas find their pulse racing? Brmmm…
Going International? Go Lightly
Who can stand the airport these days?
Wouldn’t it be great if teleporting were not just the stuff of science fiction? What a dream to travel internationally, or even in the US, without the hassle of baggage checks and baggage handlers!
My personal philosophy is “If it doesn’t fit in my back pack, it doesn‘t make the trip!”
What can I say? I’m sorry, I have trust issues. The idea of strangers rifling through my luggage behind the scenes makes me shudder. I refuse to check baggage.
When I was growing up, my parents had their own hard and fast rule for travel, “You bring it, you carry it!”
All of which adds up to make me a very light packer.
There are plenty of things you can do to lighten your suitcase. Here are some ideas for how to pack for a two week vacation in a small rolling suitcase that fits under the seat, plus a back pack:
-Only go to the beach. Just kidding.
-Always pack your swim suit in your purse. Seriously. Why would you take a chance with the item that is the most difficult thing in the world to fit? It represents hours spent in the dressing room, why would you trust it to behind the scenes Baggage Riflers? Not that they would actually want to steal a middle-aged woman’s swim suit, I’m not paranoid, well, but you never know.
-Put your purse in your back pack, along with a small book, a small camera, a paper back novel, and your zip lock bag of liquids.
-Wear a versatile, comfortable jacket and your walking shoes on the plane. Wearing them will free up room in your suitcase, plus the temperature on the plane will always be predictably unpredictable.
-Speaking of shoes, tennis shoes and baseball caps may mark you as an American. Take a hat, but choose one that can be shoved in a pocket and come out retaining its shape.
-Bring cheap, neutral clothes that you can leave behind when you return home.
-Leave your good jewelry at home and invest $5 dollars or less in something fun, colorful, sparkly, and obviously fake. Take sparkly flip flops to match for the beach or a short walk to dinner.
- Get a haircut and leave the curlers at home, along with all the other appliances Americans think they need. Take a vacation from hours spent getting ready and experience natural glamour.
-Pack a fold up duffle bag in the bottom of your suitcase. When it’s time to come home, put your souvenirs, and your swim suits of course, in the duffel and carry them on the plane. Then, it is okay to check your rolling suitcase full of your dirty, cheap clothes.
If you have more practical ideas about international travel or light packing to share, I would love to pass them on.
Wouldn’t it be great if teleporting were not just the stuff of science fiction? What a dream to travel internationally, or even in the US, without the hassle of baggage checks and baggage handlers!
My personal philosophy is “If it doesn’t fit in my back pack, it doesn‘t make the trip!”
What can I say? I’m sorry, I have trust issues. The idea of strangers rifling through my luggage behind the scenes makes me shudder. I refuse to check baggage.
When I was growing up, my parents had their own hard and fast rule for travel, “You bring it, you carry it!”
All of which adds up to make me a very light packer.
There are plenty of things you can do to lighten your suitcase. Here are some ideas for how to pack for a two week vacation in a small rolling suitcase that fits under the seat, plus a back pack:
-Only go to the beach. Just kidding.
-Always pack your swim suit in your purse. Seriously. Why would you take a chance with the item that is the most difficult thing in the world to fit? It represents hours spent in the dressing room, why would you trust it to behind the scenes Baggage Riflers? Not that they would actually want to steal a middle-aged woman’s swim suit, I’m not paranoid, well, but you never know.
-Put your purse in your back pack, along with a small book, a small camera, a paper back novel, and your zip lock bag of liquids.
-Wear a versatile, comfortable jacket and your walking shoes on the plane. Wearing them will free up room in your suitcase, plus the temperature on the plane will always be predictably unpredictable.
-Speaking of shoes, tennis shoes and baseball caps may mark you as an American. Take a hat, but choose one that can be shoved in a pocket and come out retaining its shape.
-Bring cheap, neutral clothes that you can leave behind when you return home.
-Leave your good jewelry at home and invest $5 dollars or less in something fun, colorful, sparkly, and obviously fake. Take sparkly flip flops to match for the beach or a short walk to dinner.
- Get a haircut and leave the curlers at home, along with all the other appliances Americans think they need. Take a vacation from hours spent getting ready and experience natural glamour.
-Pack a fold up duffle bag in the bottom of your suitcase. When it’s time to come home, put your souvenirs, and your swim suits of course, in the duffel and carry them on the plane. Then, it is okay to check your rolling suitcase full of your dirty, cheap clothes.
If you have more practical ideas about international travel or light packing to share, I would love to pass them on.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Volunteers Serving Up Patriotic Festival
The weather turns crisp, we wait in line to vote, and our hearts start remembering to count the blessings of living in a free country. Humbly, we realize that these freedoms are brought to us by people willing to give the ultimate gift to their fellow countrymen.
In honor of our veterans, Bullard civic leaders are busy preparing this year’s Red, White, and Blue Festival which happens November 7th and 8th, the weekend after the elections.
Bullard folks are hoping you’ll come out to honor our vets. If you do, here are the behind-the-scenes folks to thank for this event which promises to be saturated with boot-tapping music.
Teresa Adams Wilks, of Adams Insurance Agency, has served as Committee Chairman.
City manager, Larry Morgan, has covered innumerable facilities and logistics issues, along with plain old-fashioned trouble-shooting.
Music biz guru, Mike Alexander of Salt Creek Productions, lined up an impressive array of professional performers this year. But that’s not all, folks, he also organized the Talent Search, his brain child, and will be doing all the stage and sound engineering. Mike also serves as this year’s Chamber president.
Larry Melhart of Melhart Allstate Agency, with the help of Judge Danny and Sandy Ray, is the guy to thank for the fabulous parade in the works.
Darlene McKay of Remember When, has put her retail skills to work lining up vendors in what promises to be an impressive array of food and shopping.
If you like car shows and tractor shows, you’ll want to thank Stephanie Moore of Bullard Collision. And you’ll definitely want to make plans to come out and see all the vehicles.
When you see Miss Armed Forces holding a bouquet, know that Sue Hornbuckle of Flowers by Sue has worked tirelessly to help organize and plan the event.
Sherri Glover of Glover Bookkeeping & Tax Svc, has kept the committee up to the minute on income and expenses.
Lori Melinger, along with Cindy Dotson of KLTV, tackled the job of getting the word out to the media and the public.
Last, but by no means least, Chris Thompson of Snow Coney Island, with the help of his wife, Mary Beth, bravely and prayerfully headed up the sponsorship committee to inspire giving in spite of a faltering economy, proving that folks in Bullard are just plain generous.
Finally, teachers and leaders at both Bullard ISD and Brookhill have pitched in to make both the Patriotic Poster and Essay Contests a success, not to mention the students who participated and the parents who encouraged. Be sure and look for our display of all the beautiful posters.
These are the volunteers who have generously given their time for months in order for Bullard to host this tribute to our Veterans.
And while we are talking about people to thank, the event wouldn’t be possible without generous donations from our sponsors.
Major sponsors this year are Brookshire’s and Sam’s Club.
Other generous sponsors include: Salt Creek Productions, Trinity Mother Frances Health Systems, East Texas Medical Center, WRL Construction, and many more.
If you happen to see any of these volunteers or our sponsors, be sure and thank them. For more info about the Red, White, and Blue Festival go to www.bullardtexaschamber.com.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at htt://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
In honor of our veterans, Bullard civic leaders are busy preparing this year’s Red, White, and Blue Festival which happens November 7th and 8th, the weekend after the elections.
Bullard folks are hoping you’ll come out to honor our vets. If you do, here are the behind-the-scenes folks to thank for this event which promises to be saturated with boot-tapping music.
Teresa Adams Wilks, of Adams Insurance Agency, has served as Committee Chairman.
City manager, Larry Morgan, has covered innumerable facilities and logistics issues, along with plain old-fashioned trouble-shooting.
Music biz guru, Mike Alexander of Salt Creek Productions, lined up an impressive array of professional performers this year. But that’s not all, folks, he also organized the Talent Search, his brain child, and will be doing all the stage and sound engineering. Mike also serves as this year’s Chamber president.
Larry Melhart of Melhart Allstate Agency, with the help of Judge Danny and Sandy Ray, is the guy to thank for the fabulous parade in the works.
Darlene McKay of Remember When, has put her retail skills to work lining up vendors in what promises to be an impressive array of food and shopping.
If you like car shows and tractor shows, you’ll want to thank Stephanie Moore of Bullard Collision. And you’ll definitely want to make plans to come out and see all the vehicles.
When you see Miss Armed Forces holding a bouquet, know that Sue Hornbuckle of Flowers by Sue has worked tirelessly to help organize and plan the event.
Sherri Glover of Glover Bookkeeping & Tax Svc, has kept the committee up to the minute on income and expenses.
Lori Melinger, along with Cindy Dotson of KLTV, tackled the job of getting the word out to the media and the public.
Last, but by no means least, Chris Thompson of Snow Coney Island, with the help of his wife, Mary Beth, bravely and prayerfully headed up the sponsorship committee to inspire giving in spite of a faltering economy, proving that folks in Bullard are just plain generous.
Finally, teachers and leaders at both Bullard ISD and Brookhill have pitched in to make both the Patriotic Poster and Essay Contests a success, not to mention the students who participated and the parents who encouraged. Be sure and look for our display of all the beautiful posters.
These are the volunteers who have generously given their time for months in order for Bullard to host this tribute to our Veterans.
And while we are talking about people to thank, the event wouldn’t be possible without generous donations from our sponsors.
Major sponsors this year are Brookshire’s and Sam’s Club.
Other generous sponsors include: Salt Creek Productions, Trinity Mother Frances Health Systems, East Texas Medical Center, WRL Construction, and many more.
If you happen to see any of these volunteers or our sponsors, be sure and thank them. For more info about the Red, White, and Blue Festival go to www.bullardtexaschamber.com.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at htt://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Favorite Antique Stores in East Texas
Ah…a cool breeze stirs East Texas.
Reminding me that Thanksgiving will be here soon; Thanksgiving being my favorite of all the holidays, in part because no gift-buying is required.
Thanksgiving is also my deadline for Christmas shopping because I refuse to stand in lines or ruin a perfectly delightful Thanksgiving holiday with stress over unfinished shopping.
And since it is still early enough to feel no pressure, now is the perfect time to grab a couple of friends and make a day of shopping.
In Bullard, Darlene McKay offers an ever-changing collection of grandmotherly-type furniture that she finds herself and prices to sell at her store, Remember When, at 202 Main Street. Walking into the old red-brick building in downtown is an experience to stimulate your creativity, mixing china tea-sets and antique collectibles with hand-crafted gifts, like beaded purses or pillows. If you start early you can “Wake up at Jake’s,” the coffee shop across the highway.
In Frankston, stop by Pandora’s Box, at 302 N. Hwy 155. This fabulous store is a maze of decades and styles including a collection of Texas-themed horse décor and another room showcasing china with antique linens. Always unexpected, last time I stopped by, for instance, there were more than a dozen framed Christmas tree mosaics made of buttons and sequins from the 50s. My favorite part is outside, where the owner, Patty Lookabaugh, stocks antique and hard-to-find plants with all variety of garden decor.
Next stop is Ethel’s in Tyler. Just north of downtown at 513 Bois D’Arc Ave, it is worth the drive if you are looking for furniture of any variety because Ethel keeps an extensive collection and she is always ready to sell in order to make room for her next find. She also tends to find great lamps and amateur art, including an impressive collection of amateur portraits of African-american faces. If you need something in particular, it is worth visiting with her.
While you are downtown, don’t wait until the last minute, pick up your tamales now at the Tyler Tortilla Factory at 513 N Border Ave. Call ahead, 903-595-0873 and order my favorite, the chicken ones. Remember to bring a cooler and ice packs for the drive home.
Last stop, Edom, Texas. Allow yourself plenty of time to wander the Blue Moon nursery, where organic gardening meets a very practical philosophy. Here you will find a gift shop to regale any gardener on your list, plus a thousand simple, inexpensive ways to add zest to your own yard, especially perennials.
If you time it right, you can still peek in at The Potters Brown because someone on your list surely deserves a gift of this beautiful art form, hand-crafted locally by the husband and wife team who are nationally-recognized potters.
By now, it is dinner which can mean only one thing: comfort food at The Shed, in Edom. Top of your day and your dinner with a slice of their home-made, meringue-topped delights.
After such a successful day of shopping, you can look forward to a relaxing Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plus, you already have tamales in your freezer.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Reminding me that Thanksgiving will be here soon; Thanksgiving being my favorite of all the holidays, in part because no gift-buying is required.
Thanksgiving is also my deadline for Christmas shopping because I refuse to stand in lines or ruin a perfectly delightful Thanksgiving holiday with stress over unfinished shopping.
And since it is still early enough to feel no pressure, now is the perfect time to grab a couple of friends and make a day of shopping.
In Bullard, Darlene McKay offers an ever-changing collection of grandmotherly-type furniture that she finds herself and prices to sell at her store, Remember When, at 202 Main Street. Walking into the old red-brick building in downtown is an experience to stimulate your creativity, mixing china tea-sets and antique collectibles with hand-crafted gifts, like beaded purses or pillows. If you start early you can “Wake up at Jake’s,” the coffee shop across the highway.
In Frankston, stop by Pandora’s Box, at 302 N. Hwy 155. This fabulous store is a maze of decades and styles including a collection of Texas-themed horse décor and another room showcasing china with antique linens. Always unexpected, last time I stopped by, for instance, there were more than a dozen framed Christmas tree mosaics made of buttons and sequins from the 50s. My favorite part is outside, where the owner, Patty Lookabaugh, stocks antique and hard-to-find plants with all variety of garden decor.
Next stop is Ethel’s in Tyler. Just north of downtown at 513 Bois D’Arc Ave, it is worth the drive if you are looking for furniture of any variety because Ethel keeps an extensive collection and she is always ready to sell in order to make room for her next find. She also tends to find great lamps and amateur art, including an impressive collection of amateur portraits of African-american faces. If you need something in particular, it is worth visiting with her.
While you are downtown, don’t wait until the last minute, pick up your tamales now at the Tyler Tortilla Factory at 513 N Border Ave. Call ahead, 903-595-0873 and order my favorite, the chicken ones. Remember to bring a cooler and ice packs for the drive home.
Last stop, Edom, Texas. Allow yourself plenty of time to wander the Blue Moon nursery, where organic gardening meets a very practical philosophy. Here you will find a gift shop to regale any gardener on your list, plus a thousand simple, inexpensive ways to add zest to your own yard, especially perennials.
If you time it right, you can still peek in at The Potters Brown because someone on your list surely deserves a gift of this beautiful art form, hand-crafted locally by the husband and wife team who are nationally-recognized potters.
By now, it is dinner which can mean only one thing: comfort food at The Shed, in Edom. Top of your day and your dinner with a slice of their home-made, meringue-topped delights.
After such a successful day of shopping, you can look forward to a relaxing Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plus, you already have tamales in your freezer.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Parenting Final Exam
Here's a column from April that I forgot to post. Hope you enjoy!
Your child’s choice for a spouse is the final exam in parenting, right?
Observing my daughter choose who she was willing to spend her life with revealed all kinds of things about her heart and values. So, it makes sense that her choice could be considered the ultimate test of our parenting.
Recently, as that beautiful bride floated down the aisle on the trembly arm of her father, her chiffon skirt stirring around her ankles, gold shoes on feet that were trying not to skip, to the side of her beloved who was smiling as if he was the luckiest human on earth, I couldn’t help but feel that we aced that test. Mainly because she chose a husband who invests wisely and generously in all his relationships.
On the other hand, it turns out I was wrong about it being the final exam.
For parents, our kids’ choice of a spouse is only the mid-term.
I turns out that how we die is the last true test of our parenting.
Yeah, this sounds kind of morbid, given that we just had a wedding. But, you know, those kids are on their honeymoon. I’m pretty sure they are not thinking too much about us; at least I hope not.
The truth is Life has a way of juxtaposing beginnings and endings on us whether we like it or not.
I learned this in the last few years as I watched scleroderma slowly take my husband’s father away from us a few months before the wedding.
Scleroderma, for those of you who have happily avoided knowing anything about it, is an autoimmune disease that slowly freezes your organs and your skin.
We watched as Bill heroically and daily faced increasing physical pain with dignity and perseverance.
As his body failed, his bright blue eyes increasingly reflected the depth of his faith and the shining beauty of his soul.
Some of the best conversations with him were when I asked him about what he had learned through suffering.
People are always surprised that I ask so freely about death and about suffering. I figure I’ll be taking those tests soon enough; it won’t hurt me to study up.
Of course, a true exam tests our character, not our knowledge. That’s the beauty of the process.
In the final days before we closed his eyes for the last time, Bill demonstrated the power and beauty of dieing the way he had lived, with his eyes toward heaven.
Weddings and Funerals. Life and Death. Beginnings. Endings, followed by unseen, unknown Beginnings.
I couldn’t help but think of my dad-in-law as my daughter vowed her heart, life, and faith to her new husband.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her husband and unmarried children. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Your child’s choice for a spouse is the final exam in parenting, right?
Observing my daughter choose who she was willing to spend her life with revealed all kinds of things about her heart and values. So, it makes sense that her choice could be considered the ultimate test of our parenting.
Recently, as that beautiful bride floated down the aisle on the trembly arm of her father, her chiffon skirt stirring around her ankles, gold shoes on feet that were trying not to skip, to the side of her beloved who was smiling as if he was the luckiest human on earth, I couldn’t help but feel that we aced that test. Mainly because she chose a husband who invests wisely and generously in all his relationships.
On the other hand, it turns out I was wrong about it being the final exam.
For parents, our kids’ choice of a spouse is only the mid-term.
I turns out that how we die is the last true test of our parenting.
Yeah, this sounds kind of morbid, given that we just had a wedding. But, you know, those kids are on their honeymoon. I’m pretty sure they are not thinking too much about us; at least I hope not.
The truth is Life has a way of juxtaposing beginnings and endings on us whether we like it or not.
I learned this in the last few years as I watched scleroderma slowly take my husband’s father away from us a few months before the wedding.
Scleroderma, for those of you who have happily avoided knowing anything about it, is an autoimmune disease that slowly freezes your organs and your skin.
We watched as Bill heroically and daily faced increasing physical pain with dignity and perseverance.
As his body failed, his bright blue eyes increasingly reflected the depth of his faith and the shining beauty of his soul.
Some of the best conversations with him were when I asked him about what he had learned through suffering.
People are always surprised that I ask so freely about death and about suffering. I figure I’ll be taking those tests soon enough; it won’t hurt me to study up.
Of course, a true exam tests our character, not our knowledge. That’s the beauty of the process.
In the final days before we closed his eyes for the last time, Bill demonstrated the power and beauty of dieing the way he had lived, with his eyes toward heaven.
Weddings and Funerals. Life and Death. Beginnings. Endings, followed by unseen, unknown Beginnings.
I couldn’t help but think of my dad-in-law as my daughter vowed her heart, life, and faith to her new husband.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her husband and unmarried children. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Mom Deserves a Picnic
Here's a little something I forgot to post back in May. Enjoy!
Have you ever tried smoked oysters? Probably not.
Apparently, someone has been buying them all these years because the grocery store always has them in a small can right next to the anchovies. Unless, of course, it is the exact same can that’s been sitting there all along.
My affection for smoked oysters began as a small child. Somehow they always made it into my mom’s picnic basket.
As a kid, I just assumed that everyone had smoked oysters in their picnic baskets.
Mom grew up in a meat and potatoes kind of family. My dad introduced her to a world of exotic foods. She always mentions shrimp as one of the other particularly delightful surprise bonuses of their fifty-plus love affair.
With Mom’s Day around the corner, I’m advocating picnics instead of presents this year.
Here’s my philosophy of picnicking:
- Food always tastes better outdoors, whether you serve it on the back patio at mom’s house or at a park.
-Bring a cooler if you must, but put the nonperishables in an appealing basket. Baskets add to the mystique.
-Pack something unexpected, like a jar of marinated artichokes instead of pickles. Or a can of smoked oysters.
-Make food everyone loves but make it differently, like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into cookie-cutter hearts.
-Quiche is a big winner for picnics because it can be served hot, cold, or in between.
-Pack something salty because the kids may be working up a sweat, passing around the Frisbee you also just happened to pack.
-Fruit salad because it tends to leak. Instead, toss in a few apples or pears, a paring knife, and a small cutting board. Then, let one of the kids slice fruit and sharp cheddar cheese together and pass them around.
-Remember to pack the deviled eggs in the cooler, not the basket. Not that anyone but me would be confused about this.
-For desert, pack something like a pound cake or lemon shortbread cookies. As tempting as it is at home, chocolate tends to melt.
-Invite people you love. Then, add someone new to your list just for fun.
Later this month, I will deliver a full picnic basket to a reception for the bride and groom to take away with them because no one ever eats at their own reception. I wonder if they will like the smoked oysters!
Maybe I should add a note explaining that you eat smoked oysters on crackers and it takes almost a whole childhood to get used to them.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas accent. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.co. or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Have you ever tried smoked oysters? Probably not.
Apparently, someone has been buying them all these years because the grocery store always has them in a small can right next to the anchovies. Unless, of course, it is the exact same can that’s been sitting there all along.
My affection for smoked oysters began as a small child. Somehow they always made it into my mom’s picnic basket.
As a kid, I just assumed that everyone had smoked oysters in their picnic baskets.
Mom grew up in a meat and potatoes kind of family. My dad introduced her to a world of exotic foods. She always mentions shrimp as one of the other particularly delightful surprise bonuses of their fifty-plus love affair.
With Mom’s Day around the corner, I’m advocating picnics instead of presents this year.
Here’s my philosophy of picnicking:
- Food always tastes better outdoors, whether you serve it on the back patio at mom’s house or at a park.
-Bring a cooler if you must, but put the nonperishables in an appealing basket. Baskets add to the mystique.
-Pack something unexpected, like a jar of marinated artichokes instead of pickles. Or a can of smoked oysters.
-Make food everyone loves but make it differently, like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into cookie-cutter hearts.
-Quiche is a big winner for picnics because it can be served hot, cold, or in between.
-Pack something salty because the kids may be working up a sweat, passing around the Frisbee you also just happened to pack.
-Fruit salad because it tends to leak. Instead, toss in a few apples or pears, a paring knife, and a small cutting board. Then, let one of the kids slice fruit and sharp cheddar cheese together and pass them around.
-Remember to pack the deviled eggs in the cooler, not the basket. Not that anyone but me would be confused about this.
-For desert, pack something like a pound cake or lemon shortbread cookies. As tempting as it is at home, chocolate tends to melt.
-Invite people you love. Then, add someone new to your list just for fun.
Later this month, I will deliver a full picnic basket to a reception for the bride and groom to take away with them because no one ever eats at their own reception. I wonder if they will like the smoked oysters!
Maybe I should add a note explaining that you eat smoked oysters on crackers and it takes almost a whole childhood to get used to them.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas accent. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.co. or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Do NOT Glue Your Fingers Together
“Mom, these instructions say not to glue your fingers together,” said my son in reference to the new model kit I bought him.
He’s making a snappy-looking F-106 Delta Dart that requires paint, super glue, but no screw drivers.
I bought him two tiny screwdrivers anyway. Just because a boy is bound to need tiny screwdrivers for something.
At school this past year, one of his friends tried unsuccessfully to glue four fingers together. Fortunately, it is a law of nature that no boy can be still long enough for Elmer’s glue to set. That’s probably why super glue never makes the back-to-school supply list.
Somebody pointed out that boys come equipped with an automatic delete function for the “not” in all Mom’s sentences? Good point.
It follows that while mom is emphasizing the “not” in the following sentences, the boy is hearing “definitely DO this.”
Do not stick those screwdrivers in the electrical socket.
Do not play with matches.
Do not point the BB gun at your friend.
Do not parachute off the roof with a towel.
Do not cut your own hair. Do not cut your little brother’s hair.
Do not pester your sister.
Do not put Blackcat firecrackers in the fireplace.
There is a correlating principle that suggests that boys reverse the words “always” and “never,” as in the following examples.
Always make up your bed.
Always keep your room clean, just in case you get invited to play airsoft.
Never stand in the front yard and moon the neighbors.
Never use gasoline to start a fire.
I suppose it is a rite of passage for boys to do things that their moms don’t like. A rite of passage for moms, you understand.
The process causes moms to grow up and face the fact that our sons will be men some day. Being a man is a very different state of existence than the one we exist in as females. So, it follows that they will do things that our daughters never even thought of.
Raising a boy will make a man out of ya.
Unless you are the child’s mother, in which case you will be scratching your head and turning to your husband with the words, “Well, he is your son.”
I guess my son is growing up; he has painted the fighter jet without spilling the paint even once.
The question remains, though. Can he reach adulthood while resisting the urge to glue his fingers together with super glue? I’ll keep ya posted.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
He’s making a snappy-looking F-106 Delta Dart that requires paint, super glue, but no screw drivers.
I bought him two tiny screwdrivers anyway. Just because a boy is bound to need tiny screwdrivers for something.
At school this past year, one of his friends tried unsuccessfully to glue four fingers together. Fortunately, it is a law of nature that no boy can be still long enough for Elmer’s glue to set. That’s probably why super glue never makes the back-to-school supply list.
Somebody pointed out that boys come equipped with an automatic delete function for the “not” in all Mom’s sentences? Good point.
It follows that while mom is emphasizing the “not” in the following sentences, the boy is hearing “definitely DO this.”
Do not stick those screwdrivers in the electrical socket.
Do not play with matches.
Do not point the BB gun at your friend.
Do not parachute off the roof with a towel.
Do not cut your own hair. Do not cut your little brother’s hair.
Do not pester your sister.
Do not put Blackcat firecrackers in the fireplace.
There is a correlating principle that suggests that boys reverse the words “always” and “never,” as in the following examples.
Always make up your bed.
Always keep your room clean, just in case you get invited to play airsoft.
Never stand in the front yard and moon the neighbors.
Never use gasoline to start a fire.
I suppose it is a rite of passage for boys to do things that their moms don’t like. A rite of passage for moms, you understand.
The process causes moms to grow up and face the fact that our sons will be men some day. Being a man is a very different state of existence than the one we exist in as females. So, it follows that they will do things that our daughters never even thought of.
Raising a boy will make a man out of ya.
Unless you are the child’s mother, in which case you will be scratching your head and turning to your husband with the words, “Well, he is your son.”
I guess my son is growing up; he has painted the fighter jet without spilling the paint even once.
The question remains, though. Can he reach adulthood while resisting the urge to glue his fingers together with super glue? I’ll keep ya posted.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http:/checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Day Tripping to Carthage
“East Texas Oil and Gas Blast, Feel the Energy!”
Great line, huh? And what timing, given that all the politicians are talking about energy now that prices at the pump are way up.
Well, we have to give our East Texas neighbors in Carthage credit for doing their part to keep us independent of foreign oil, by celebrating our rich oil and gas history with a festival.
Why not fill up the tank and mosey over to Carthage for the fun?
The Saturday, October 11th event, promises all day entertainment, from 10am to 5pm, including performances by special guests, Tony Booth and Johnny Lee.
The Texas Country Music Hall of Fame is in Carthage, of course, and worth a visit all by itself. But there’s plenty more to do while you are there.
There’s also the Old Jail Museum, built in 1891, featuring restored jail cells on the second floor and the Leila Belle LaGrone Family History Center, an active genealogical research library housed downstairs.
Blast special events will include arts and crafts, a pie contest, a car show, and hourly drawings for prizes.
But each and every Saturday night in Carthage means live music at the Esquire, an old downtown movie theater which is now the home of the Country Music Hayride, where “All shows are geared towards providing good family entertainment,” according to the East Texas Tourism Guide. When there’s a fifth Saturday night in the month, music is usually gospel.
While you’re in town, check out the historic downtown where music chimes all day long, and the streets are lined with boutiques and antique stores.
There’s the Emporium on the Square, at 102 N. Marshal/Henderson, specializing in antiques, sporting a nice collection of rhinestone jewelry.
At Blessings, 110 E. Main St., gifts have a faith-filled message; I bought ribbon-trimmed dish towels and tucked them away for stocking stuffers. Lunch is served daily at quaint tables in the back.
Speaking of lunch, there’s also the Texas Tea Room, 100 E. Sabine, where volunteers serve up fresh sandwiches and soups at reasonable prices in an effort to support the Heritage Museum which is devoted to the history of Panola County. Above the tea room, the museum is a tip o’ the hat to inhabitants of the county, including Native American artifacts, photos of early community leaders, and a history of education in the county.
Save room for desert because the Fudge and More Store, at 106 W. Sabine, serves fresh, buttery fudge to chocolate-seeking customers, prepared after-hours each evening by owners, Dean and Brenda Jones. My favorite was a chocolaty concoction of pecans and toffee filling, but the traditional toffee was good, too.
Carthage is also home to Panola College, where the manicured, park-like campus could even inspire an old person like me to re-enroll for classes.
With so many cafes to choose from, lunch could be just another excuse to come back and visit Carthage again, not to mention the shopping and the museums in this history-loving little Texas town.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Great line, huh? And what timing, given that all the politicians are talking about energy now that prices at the pump are way up.
Well, we have to give our East Texas neighbors in Carthage credit for doing their part to keep us independent of foreign oil, by celebrating our rich oil and gas history with a festival.
Why not fill up the tank and mosey over to Carthage for the fun?
The Saturday, October 11th event, promises all day entertainment, from 10am to 5pm, including performances by special guests, Tony Booth and Johnny Lee.
The Texas Country Music Hall of Fame is in Carthage, of course, and worth a visit all by itself. But there’s plenty more to do while you are there.
There’s also the Old Jail Museum, built in 1891, featuring restored jail cells on the second floor and the Leila Belle LaGrone Family History Center, an active genealogical research library housed downstairs.
Blast special events will include arts and crafts, a pie contest, a car show, and hourly drawings for prizes.
But each and every Saturday night in Carthage means live music at the Esquire, an old downtown movie theater which is now the home of the Country Music Hayride, where “All shows are geared towards providing good family entertainment,” according to the East Texas Tourism Guide. When there’s a fifth Saturday night in the month, music is usually gospel.
While you’re in town, check out the historic downtown where music chimes all day long, and the streets are lined with boutiques and antique stores.
There’s the Emporium on the Square, at 102 N. Marshal/Henderson, specializing in antiques, sporting a nice collection of rhinestone jewelry.
At Blessings, 110 E. Main St., gifts have a faith-filled message; I bought ribbon-trimmed dish towels and tucked them away for stocking stuffers. Lunch is served daily at quaint tables in the back.
Speaking of lunch, there’s also the Texas Tea Room, 100 E. Sabine, where volunteers serve up fresh sandwiches and soups at reasonable prices in an effort to support the Heritage Museum which is devoted to the history of Panola County. Above the tea room, the museum is a tip o’ the hat to inhabitants of the county, including Native American artifacts, photos of early community leaders, and a history of education in the county.
Save room for desert because the Fudge and More Store, at 106 W. Sabine, serves fresh, buttery fudge to chocolate-seeking customers, prepared after-hours each evening by owners, Dean and Brenda Jones. My favorite was a chocolaty concoction of pecans and toffee filling, but the traditional toffee was good, too.
Carthage is also home to Panola College, where the manicured, park-like campus could even inspire an old person like me to re-enroll for classes.
With so many cafes to choose from, lunch could be just another excuse to come back and visit Carthage again, not to mention the shopping and the museums in this history-loving little Texas town.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Motivating Your Kids: Inspirational Parenting
Unconditional commitment inspires devotion.
On the other hand, conditional commitment breeds rebellion.
We all long for unconditional love, but in reality, we don’t necessarily recognize it.
As parents, we find unconditional love difficult to practice. Probably because our heart tells us that we love our kids passionately and unconditionally, but our attitudes and actions sometimes convey a different message to our kiddoes.
“Get every last spot off that dish before you put it in the cabinet,” says the parent with the intention of teaching thoroughness.
“I only love you, if you get it right,” hears the kid who identifies an unspoken threat of rejection or anger from the parent checking for spots.
Anger can be a tool for controlling others.
Inspiration is the antidote for using anger or complaining to control others, especially our children. If, as a parent, you catch yourself threatening your kiddoes, it is time to rethink your strategies.
So, how does unconditional love sound to a kid?
“Well, you are going to need a new bike. I’ll pay for half and because you were irresponsible, you will have to pay for the other half,” says the wise parent to the junior high kid who left his bike out on the corner the night it was stolen.
Paying for half communicates to the child that irresponsibility has consequences, but we all make mistakes. Even mom and dad. So, we stand together and help each other.
Of course, depending on the age of the child and frequency of the mistake, sometimes a loving parent will only provide encouragement, not money, while the kid works to pay off the consequences.
Unconditional commitment says I am committed to what is best for you.
What is best is not always what a kid wants, though, is it? It costs a lot to stay the course as a parent.
We say “no” when “yes” is so much easier and simpler.
Saying no, when your kiddoes want to hang out at the mall, may mean that you have lots of kids at your house instead.
Unconditional commitment can be costly and I’m not just talking snack food here.
You may have to listen to their complaints as they try to persuade you to do things their way. Or their temper tantrums as they slam doors or fuss.
Oh well.
A few years down the road, your kids be the ones telling your grandkids, “No, you can’t hang out at the movie theater and wouldn’t it be so much nicer to stay home and play board games while your grandparents visit instead?”
They’ll be the ones inspired to do what is best for their kids. Rather than controlling their kiddoes, they’ll be looking for ways to inspire them, too.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
On the other hand, conditional commitment breeds rebellion.
We all long for unconditional love, but in reality, we don’t necessarily recognize it.
As parents, we find unconditional love difficult to practice. Probably because our heart tells us that we love our kids passionately and unconditionally, but our attitudes and actions sometimes convey a different message to our kiddoes.
“Get every last spot off that dish before you put it in the cabinet,” says the parent with the intention of teaching thoroughness.
“I only love you, if you get it right,” hears the kid who identifies an unspoken threat of rejection or anger from the parent checking for spots.
Anger can be a tool for controlling others.
Inspiration is the antidote for using anger or complaining to control others, especially our children. If, as a parent, you catch yourself threatening your kiddoes, it is time to rethink your strategies.
So, how does unconditional love sound to a kid?
“Well, you are going to need a new bike. I’ll pay for half and because you were irresponsible, you will have to pay for the other half,” says the wise parent to the junior high kid who left his bike out on the corner the night it was stolen.
Paying for half communicates to the child that irresponsibility has consequences, but we all make mistakes. Even mom and dad. So, we stand together and help each other.
Of course, depending on the age of the child and frequency of the mistake, sometimes a loving parent will only provide encouragement, not money, while the kid works to pay off the consequences.
Unconditional commitment says I am committed to what is best for you.
What is best is not always what a kid wants, though, is it? It costs a lot to stay the course as a parent.
We say “no” when “yes” is so much easier and simpler.
Saying no, when your kiddoes want to hang out at the mall, may mean that you have lots of kids at your house instead.
Unconditional commitment can be costly and I’m not just talking snack food here.
You may have to listen to their complaints as they try to persuade you to do things their way. Or their temper tantrums as they slam doors or fuss.
Oh well.
A few years down the road, your kids be the ones telling your grandkids, “No, you can’t hang out at the movie theater and wouldn’t it be so much nicer to stay home and play board games while your grandparents visit instead?”
They’ll be the ones inspired to do what is best for their kids. Rather than controlling their kiddoes, they’ll be looking for ways to inspire them, too.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Motivating your Kids: Identifying Temptations
As a parent, I found it helpful to notice what kind of temptations tended to get my little toddlers in trouble. I tried to have sense of humor about the whole parenting thing.
I envy parents who seem to have the gift of turning the most tedious chores into an excuse to laugh and have fun together. Haven’t you noticed, though, that even the children of fun parents can still be ornery at times?
No matter what parenting skills we bring to the task, one of the toughest jobs for a parent is teaching kids to be self-motivated.
The best kind of human is one that serves others, right? So, it follows that we want to inspire our children to be self-motivated about serving others. But how?
Humans are universally motivated by the desire for the same three types of things; the desire for success, stuff, and security.
These are sometimes referred to as temptations, as in boastful pride of life, lust of the eye, and lust of the flesh. I suppose temptation and motivation are almost synonyms sometimes, depending on how you look at it.
If you can identify what tempts your child, you then hold the key to motivation.
-For the child that is tempted to do things because of peer pressure, as in the boastful pride of life, it is a small step to help that little one understand that they have a loving Father whose favor is more valuable than any human peer’s.
If your child attends school, it is surprisingly easy to use the volatility of popularity to point out the vast advantage of seeking the approval of a God who is not arbitrary and whose love does not waver.
Serving others becomes a natural by-product of seeking what is best for others in response to a loving God who does the same.
-For the child who seeks reward in material ways, as in the lust of the eye, a parent can use simple, immediate rewards to teach the principle of greater, far-off rewards.
For example, when our girls were young teenagers, we paid them to “babysit” when young mothers brought toddlers to our house. It wasn’t long before we weren’t paying to have young guests entertained.
The reward of having younger friends following them is highly motivating for young people.
-For the child who is motivated by security, that is, the need to feel safe and special, as in the lust of the flesh, nothing is more reassuring than self-confidence. Confidence is cultivated by taking small risks and experiencing success.
Both success and failure will teach the child that risks are manageable because he has a parent who will be there for him and a God who is even more trustworthy than the most loving parent. Learning to trust God will allow that child to take risks in order to serve others.
It sure takes a lot of pressure off a parent to understand what motivates our kiddoes.
Less pressure means more time to laugh.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
I envy parents who seem to have the gift of turning the most tedious chores into an excuse to laugh and have fun together. Haven’t you noticed, though, that even the children of fun parents can still be ornery at times?
No matter what parenting skills we bring to the task, one of the toughest jobs for a parent is teaching kids to be self-motivated.
The best kind of human is one that serves others, right? So, it follows that we want to inspire our children to be self-motivated about serving others. But how?
Humans are universally motivated by the desire for the same three types of things; the desire for success, stuff, and security.
These are sometimes referred to as temptations, as in boastful pride of life, lust of the eye, and lust of the flesh. I suppose temptation and motivation are almost synonyms sometimes, depending on how you look at it.
If you can identify what tempts your child, you then hold the key to motivation.
-For the child that is tempted to do things because of peer pressure, as in the boastful pride of life, it is a small step to help that little one understand that they have a loving Father whose favor is more valuable than any human peer’s.
If your child attends school, it is surprisingly easy to use the volatility of popularity to point out the vast advantage of seeking the approval of a God who is not arbitrary and whose love does not waver.
Serving others becomes a natural by-product of seeking what is best for others in response to a loving God who does the same.
-For the child who seeks reward in material ways, as in the lust of the eye, a parent can use simple, immediate rewards to teach the principle of greater, far-off rewards.
For example, when our girls were young teenagers, we paid them to “babysit” when young mothers brought toddlers to our house. It wasn’t long before we weren’t paying to have young guests entertained.
The reward of having younger friends following them is highly motivating for young people.
-For the child who is motivated by security, that is, the need to feel safe and special, as in the lust of the flesh, nothing is more reassuring than self-confidence. Confidence is cultivated by taking small risks and experiencing success.
Both success and failure will teach the child that risks are manageable because he has a parent who will be there for him and a God who is even more trustworthy than the most loving parent. Learning to trust God will allow that child to take risks in order to serve others.
It sure takes a lot of pressure off a parent to understand what motivates our kiddoes.
Less pressure means more time to laugh.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Easiest, Cheapest Costume Ever
“Mom, how do you make lion costumes?” asked my daughter calling me on the day of a gala philanthropic event supporting literacy in which college men compete for a crown by dancing across stage to musical productions they choreograph themselves with a team of girls.
My daughter’s team was competing to tunes from The Lion King.
No need to panic, even though it was the very day of the event. Our family knows how to make the easiest, cheapest, lion costumes ever.
My mind flashed back to my early days of parenting when this same daughter was a twin set with her sister who is only a year older; two little blond darlings with huge, relaxed smiles and easy giggles.
We were living in Louisiana, eating beans and cornbread every night and thankful just to pay our bills.
For Vacation Bible School that year I turned to my rag closet and pulled out an old brown towel to make the costumes they needed for Noah’s Arc day. They skipped into church, holding hands and dressed as a pair of lions without worrying about the fact that, scripturally speaking, one of them should have been a male.
“Guess what, Mom, we won first prize!” was how they greeted me that afternoon, tiny fingers trailing fluttery blue ribbons in the air.
To make two costumes, you’ll need about fifteen minutes and the following:
-one brown or tan towel,
-3 yards of bright ribbon,
-2 plastic hair bands,
-2 safety pins to hold the tail to their pants,
-your glue gun.
Cut the towel in half, lengthways.
Then, to make two tails, cut another four inch strip lengthways off the rough edge of each half. Roll up each four-inch strip to form the tails, but cut off the last three inches to save for making the ears. With your glue gun, run a seam down your rolled tail almost to the end to hold it together. Cut the lose end, fringing to look like a lion’s fuzzy tail.
Cut your ribbon into six equal parts, ½ yard each, then, tie one ribbon around the ends of each tail. Done.
To make the lion’s mane, fringe the remaining towel into strips starting from the rough side and cutting to within two inches of the seemed side. Don’t cut all the way through, just close to the seemed side of the towel.
Glue a piece of ribbon on each end of the seemed side, hang it around the neck of each little lion and tie a big bow. Done.
To make the ears, simply fold the remaining scraps from the tails into squares, then, cut into triangles. Glue two triangles onto each headband. All done.
We laughed as we watched two grown college men dance to “I just can’t wait to be king,” competing with twenty other contestants. But the best part was when both lions made the finals.
We are pretty sure it had something to do with the costumes.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are welcome at http://checklistcharlis.blogspot.com or cathykrafve.gmail.com.
My daughter’s team was competing to tunes from The Lion King.
No need to panic, even though it was the very day of the event. Our family knows how to make the easiest, cheapest, lion costumes ever.
My mind flashed back to my early days of parenting when this same daughter was a twin set with her sister who is only a year older; two little blond darlings with huge, relaxed smiles and easy giggles.
We were living in Louisiana, eating beans and cornbread every night and thankful just to pay our bills.
For Vacation Bible School that year I turned to my rag closet and pulled out an old brown towel to make the costumes they needed for Noah’s Arc day. They skipped into church, holding hands and dressed as a pair of lions without worrying about the fact that, scripturally speaking, one of them should have been a male.
“Guess what, Mom, we won first prize!” was how they greeted me that afternoon, tiny fingers trailing fluttery blue ribbons in the air.
To make two costumes, you’ll need about fifteen minutes and the following:
-one brown or tan towel,
-3 yards of bright ribbon,
-2 plastic hair bands,
-2 safety pins to hold the tail to their pants,
-your glue gun.
Cut the towel in half, lengthways.
Then, to make two tails, cut another four inch strip lengthways off the rough edge of each half. Roll up each four-inch strip to form the tails, but cut off the last three inches to save for making the ears. With your glue gun, run a seam down your rolled tail almost to the end to hold it together. Cut the lose end, fringing to look like a lion’s fuzzy tail.
Cut your ribbon into six equal parts, ½ yard each, then, tie one ribbon around the ends of each tail. Done.
To make the lion’s mane, fringe the remaining towel into strips starting from the rough side and cutting to within two inches of the seemed side. Don’t cut all the way through, just close to the seemed side of the towel.
Glue a piece of ribbon on each end of the seemed side, hang it around the neck of each little lion and tie a big bow. Done.
To make the ears, simply fold the remaining scraps from the tails into squares, then, cut into triangles. Glue two triangles onto each headband. All done.
We laughed as we watched two grown college men dance to “I just can’t wait to be king,” competing with twenty other contestants. But the best part was when both lions made the finals.
We are pretty sure it had something to do with the costumes.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are welcome at http://checklistcharlis.blogspot.com or cathykrafve.gmail.com.
Red, White and Blue Festival Sign Up Now
Ever dream of being a rock star? Want to hear the next country star before he’s famous?
Now is the time to sign up if you are planning to compete or perform or participate in any of the many events planned during this year’s Red, White, and Blue Festival which happens November 5-8 right here in East Texas, in Bullard.
There are so many ways to participate; it’s hard to know what to sign up for first.
The Talent Search is an obvious opportunity if you are a talented, amateur musician. Besides the chance to perform on a professional stage in front of a receptive, hometown audience, there is the grand prize of a professionally recorded sound tract contributed to the event by Greg Hunt of Rosewood Studios.
Is your child a promising young artist?
Area school children are invited to participate in a poster contest honoring vets.
Are you a young woman longing to put your patriotism into words? Do you look forward to a future as a writer?
Miss Armed Forces will be selected based on an essay written in honor of vets. She will be crowned right after the parade on Saturday. Those essays can be submitted at the newspaper office.
Ever dream of marching in a parade or riding on a float?
The Smith County Sherriff’s Posse, and the Shriners, horse clubs, bands, US Armed Forces squads and many others are promising to turn up and wow the crowds lining downtown Bullard. If you are interested in honoring our military veterans by strutting your stuff, too, now is the time to reserve a place for your group or float.
You’ll be marching with a star-studded line up this year including Star McFarlin, the Great American Dog and Proud Mary who is the fastest woman in a speed boat according to the Guinness Book of World Records.
Have a tractor or an antique car you like to show?
Registration is already happening for the Antique Car Show and the Tractor Show.
Have you got crafts you want to sell or projects to bless the community?
Clubs, artists, and craftsmen are already contacting the Chamber of Commerce about filling the limited number of spaces.
And what would all this fun amount to without the food, right?
Food venders, including corn dogs, hamburgers, lemonade, funnel cakes, nachos, you name it, are signing up now.
For more information, go to www.bullartdtexaschamber.com.
See ya at the Festival!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang.
Comments are invited at caeKrafve2@aol.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
Now is the time to sign up if you are planning to compete or perform or participate in any of the many events planned during this year’s Red, White, and Blue Festival which happens November 5-8 right here in East Texas, in Bullard.
There are so many ways to participate; it’s hard to know what to sign up for first.
The Talent Search is an obvious opportunity if you are a talented, amateur musician. Besides the chance to perform on a professional stage in front of a receptive, hometown audience, there is the grand prize of a professionally recorded sound tract contributed to the event by Greg Hunt of Rosewood Studios.
Is your child a promising young artist?
Area school children are invited to participate in a poster contest honoring vets.
Are you a young woman longing to put your patriotism into words? Do you look forward to a future as a writer?
Miss Armed Forces will be selected based on an essay written in honor of vets. She will be crowned right after the parade on Saturday. Those essays can be submitted at the newspaper office.
Ever dream of marching in a parade or riding on a float?
The Smith County Sherriff’s Posse, and the Shriners, horse clubs, bands, US Armed Forces squads and many others are promising to turn up and wow the crowds lining downtown Bullard. If you are interested in honoring our military veterans by strutting your stuff, too, now is the time to reserve a place for your group or float.
You’ll be marching with a star-studded line up this year including Star McFarlin, the Great American Dog and Proud Mary who is the fastest woman in a speed boat according to the Guinness Book of World Records.
Have a tractor or an antique car you like to show?
Registration is already happening for the Antique Car Show and the Tractor Show.
Have you got crafts you want to sell or projects to bless the community?
Clubs, artists, and craftsmen are already contacting the Chamber of Commerce about filling the limited number of spaces.
And what would all this fun amount to without the food, right?
Food venders, including corn dogs, hamburgers, lemonade, funnel cakes, nachos, you name it, are signing up now.
For more information, go to www.bullartdtexaschamber.com.
See ya at the Festival!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang.
Comments are invited at caeKrafve2@aol.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
Motivating Your Child
How can I motivate this child?
I can’t count the number of years that the above prayer haunted my sub-conscious like an old, but annoying friend that I couldn’t seem to understand.
All parents find themselves in a tug of war with a lethargic, rebellious, or de-motivated child from time to time. In those moments, all the glory and victories of parenthood are forgotten amid the exhausting work of seemingly endless cajoling and pep-talking.
What’s a parent to do? Hang in there, I guess.
Then, one day, I was puttering through I John again for the zillionth time- okay, zillionth in any book of the Bible is an exaggeration for me- and… Eureka!
The answer to motivation jumped off the page. Why had I not seen it before!
The Bible is a collection of documents, not one book as is often assumed. I John is a short but informative document written as a public memo to answer the question, “Is my faith real?”
Anyway, lo and behold, there in verse 2:16 were three of the four categories of things that motivate kiddoes.
The Boastful Pride of Life, the Lust of the Eye, and the Lust of the Flesh.
“She’s got to be kidding!” could be what you are thinking right now as you read this.
Okay, I’ll admit it sounds far-fetched. That is, until you realize that those three categories are the main motivators of all humans, including parents, no matter what our age.
Tripping over the lingo? Yeah. Me, too.
Try this for a Texas-style paraphrase:
-The Boastful Pride of Life: Wanting to be the big cheese. Seeking fame and accolades from other humans. Peer pressure. Status seeking. Recognition for your hard work. Popularity contests. That kind of stuff. Oh.
-Lust of the Eye. Wanting stuff. Collecting stuff. Getting the best technology, sports car, fancy house, mink coat…Oops, for a minute there I forgot we were talking about kids.
-Lust of the Flesh. Well, besides the obvious, this is anything that makes us feel safe and special. Security. Abundance. Overeating.
There is one more category of motive that is described in Matthew 4. Matthew is the training manual for folks who want to follow Jesus.
The fourth category is the Desire to Respond to a Loving God by honoring Him. Hmmm…easier said than done.
As a parent, then, the challenge is to notice which motives surface in our children’s hearts and direct them toward a loving God who can inspire them to be loving like Him.
Or, just maybe, the real challenge is to notice what is motivating my own parental heart.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
I can’t count the number of years that the above prayer haunted my sub-conscious like an old, but annoying friend that I couldn’t seem to understand.
All parents find themselves in a tug of war with a lethargic, rebellious, or de-motivated child from time to time. In those moments, all the glory and victories of parenthood are forgotten amid the exhausting work of seemingly endless cajoling and pep-talking.
What’s a parent to do? Hang in there, I guess.
Then, one day, I was puttering through I John again for the zillionth time- okay, zillionth in any book of the Bible is an exaggeration for me- and… Eureka!
The answer to motivation jumped off the page. Why had I not seen it before!
The Bible is a collection of documents, not one book as is often assumed. I John is a short but informative document written as a public memo to answer the question, “Is my faith real?”
Anyway, lo and behold, there in verse 2:16 were three of the four categories of things that motivate kiddoes.
The Boastful Pride of Life, the Lust of the Eye, and the Lust of the Flesh.
“She’s got to be kidding!” could be what you are thinking right now as you read this.
Okay, I’ll admit it sounds far-fetched. That is, until you realize that those three categories are the main motivators of all humans, including parents, no matter what our age.
Tripping over the lingo? Yeah. Me, too.
Try this for a Texas-style paraphrase:
-The Boastful Pride of Life: Wanting to be the big cheese. Seeking fame and accolades from other humans. Peer pressure. Status seeking. Recognition for your hard work. Popularity contests. That kind of stuff. Oh.
-Lust of the Eye. Wanting stuff. Collecting stuff. Getting the best technology, sports car, fancy house, mink coat…Oops, for a minute there I forgot we were talking about kids.
-Lust of the Flesh. Well, besides the obvious, this is anything that makes us feel safe and special. Security. Abundance. Overeating.
There is one more category of motive that is described in Matthew 4. Matthew is the training manual for folks who want to follow Jesus.
The fourth category is the Desire to Respond to a Loving God by honoring Him. Hmmm…easier said than done.
As a parent, then, the challenge is to notice which motives surface in our children’s hearts and direct them toward a loving God who can inspire them to be loving like Him.
Or, just maybe, the real challenge is to notice what is motivating my own parental heart.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
Overcoming Scuba Aversion
“Oh that was just a sand shark. They don’t even have teeth,” she said with a soothing smile.
I wanted to believe her. The big, blue sea beckoned.
Most folks have an instinctive aversion to scuba. Too much equipment.
Scuba is closely related to swimming and swimming is, after all, one of those water sports where the motto, “Less is better,” means a practical bathing suit is better than a fancy or skimpy one. Less distraction from the pure delight of being in the sun and water, right?
It follows that cumbersome scuba equipment, while necessary, would be a distraction.
Of course, when it comes to scuba diving, there is that worrisome problem of needing oxygen to live. For me, it always seemed logical to enjoy water sports on top of the water where human lungs function best.
Not to mention sharks. They seem more real under water, don’t they? Like they have the home team advantage. Even sand sharks.
Scuba was not even in my vocabulary until I went snorkeling.
Who knew there was so much social life under the surface? Snorkeling gave me a ring-side seat to the underworld circus of fish and sea creatures too numerous to name.
From the moment I got a glimpse of the sun fish flitting under the surface, I knew I would need a tank to get close enough to satisfy my curiosity.
If you are trying to get a scuba-phobe to immerse with you, here are some things that may help encourage a new scubie to bite the bullet. Oops, mentioning biting in the same column as sharks seems counterproductive.
-First, the tanks are a lot lighter under water. When you use up all the air, the tank actually tends to make you float to the surface. I find this somewhat reassuring.
-It is great for families; scuba is a great way to keep your kids involved with you and stuck together for hours at a time, in a pursuit so fascinating and complicated that they forget to whine or complain. That is, until they finally come up for air and remember suddenly that they are totally starving.
-The underwater world is an incredible expression of God’s creativity. The variety and beauty of the fish alone, not to mention the other creatures or the vegetation, are enough to make you take a second look at the infinite variety of the people He made.
-Learning something new keeps old folks young. And it is great exercise.
-Scuba masters have been through rigorous training themselves. They seem to enjoy checking all the equipment as many times as you like, which in my case is annoyingly often. Like Texans know the best fishing holes, Dive Masters often know the underwater terrain in their neighborhood and can make sure you see lots of action.
-If you reserve an excursion off the coast, you’ll get to ride in a big boat under a big blue sky on the wide-open turquoise water to the dive site.
When we got back from my first blue water dive recently, I trolled for sand shark on the internet. Guess what? Sand sharks do have teeth. They can even be dangerous!
It’s just a good thing I couldn’t take my lap top on the boat.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
I wanted to believe her. The big, blue sea beckoned.
Most folks have an instinctive aversion to scuba. Too much equipment.
Scuba is closely related to swimming and swimming is, after all, one of those water sports where the motto, “Less is better,” means a practical bathing suit is better than a fancy or skimpy one. Less distraction from the pure delight of being in the sun and water, right?
It follows that cumbersome scuba equipment, while necessary, would be a distraction.
Of course, when it comes to scuba diving, there is that worrisome problem of needing oxygen to live. For me, it always seemed logical to enjoy water sports on top of the water where human lungs function best.
Not to mention sharks. They seem more real under water, don’t they? Like they have the home team advantage. Even sand sharks.
Scuba was not even in my vocabulary until I went snorkeling.
Who knew there was so much social life under the surface? Snorkeling gave me a ring-side seat to the underworld circus of fish and sea creatures too numerous to name.
From the moment I got a glimpse of the sun fish flitting under the surface, I knew I would need a tank to get close enough to satisfy my curiosity.
If you are trying to get a scuba-phobe to immerse with you, here are some things that may help encourage a new scubie to bite the bullet. Oops, mentioning biting in the same column as sharks seems counterproductive.
-First, the tanks are a lot lighter under water. When you use up all the air, the tank actually tends to make you float to the surface. I find this somewhat reassuring.
-It is great for families; scuba is a great way to keep your kids involved with you and stuck together for hours at a time, in a pursuit so fascinating and complicated that they forget to whine or complain. That is, until they finally come up for air and remember suddenly that they are totally starving.
-The underwater world is an incredible expression of God’s creativity. The variety and beauty of the fish alone, not to mention the other creatures or the vegetation, are enough to make you take a second look at the infinite variety of the people He made.
-Learning something new keeps old folks young. And it is great exercise.
-Scuba masters have been through rigorous training themselves. They seem to enjoy checking all the equipment as many times as you like, which in my case is annoyingly often. Like Texans know the best fishing holes, Dive Masters often know the underwater terrain in their neighborhood and can make sure you see lots of action.
-If you reserve an excursion off the coast, you’ll get to ride in a big boat under a big blue sky on the wide-open turquoise water to the dive site.
When we got back from my first blue water dive recently, I trolled for sand shark on the internet. Guess what? Sand sharks do have teeth. They can even be dangerous!
It’s just a good thing I couldn’t take my lap top on the boat.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
What to Do First in Romantic Miami?
It turns out that Miami is one of my favorite places in the world. Who knew?
I guess I pictured the Miami that Hollywood invented, filled with drug-dealers and scantily dressed floozies.
Turns out Miami is the perfect place to travel with your family. Or, as we recently found out, it’s a great place for a romantic getaway.
Of course, who can argue with any place that features sunshine glistening off of turquoise water and sandy beaches, combined with fun stuff to do, delicious restaurants, and live music?
Here are just a few of our favorite things about Miami:
-The aquarium. Yes, and I am old enough to remember and be impressed by the original set of the TV series, “Flipper.”
-South Beach. The sandy, white beaches are fringed by water so clear you can see for yards and so gentle, that your smallest children can walk out that far without ever getting into trouble. Plus, there is public access through parks that have restrooms and outdoor showers; parks so picturesque that they frequently make the cut as sets in movies and TV shows.
-South Beach shopping. Still in your bathing suit, wander into any of the famous designer stores or, my favorite, choose from all the shoe stores whose windows boast shelves of fancy, colorful shoes and purses at discount prices.
-The Vizcaya. This historic mansion overlooking Biscayne Bay once belonged to the guy who owned American Harvester and sent his decorator all over Europe, furnishing his summer home in layers of history by way of antiques. It is also a self-sustaining, eco-friendly agricultural estate.
-Los Ranchos at Bayside. A Nicaraguan restaurant serving thin-cut steak served with three sauces, my favorite of which is a parsley and garlic sauce. Steaks come with fried green plantains which are crisp like potato chips, fried sweet plantains which are similar to sweet potatoes, and pinto gallo, a traditional way of preparing pinto beans and rice. Don’t miss the Yucca or the Nicaraguan tamales.
-The Café Versailles in Little Havana. A classic Cuban restaurant serving flaky, buttery pastries unique to Cuba that bring to mind Paris but are filled with tropical jellies like mango or guava. Here, elderly Cuban gentlemen dressed in nice slacks and dress shirts line up at the window outside for the Cuban coffee. Inside reasonably-priced Cuban specialties are served on white table clothes. Plan to order in Spanish because the waiters aren’t necessarily bilingual.
-Puerto Sagua on South Beach. Try the fish soup or the pushed Cuban sandwich. Similar to French bread, Cubans make their soft, crusty loaves fresh every day, then fill them so full of ham, turkey and a mild, melted cheese that the sandwich has to be pushed down to hold together.
-Catch an outdoor concert. Walk outside any day of the week in South Beach and you’ll stumble onto a live concert at any of the restaurants where tables spill over onto the sidewalks. Order dinner and enjoy the musical benefits of the local culture. If you are so inclined, you can even smoke one of the other benefits of Miami culture, hand-rolled Cuban-style cigars.
Outside of Texas, there are few places in the world that I want to visit twice. It turns out Miami is on my short list of places to return to again and again. Bienvenidos a Miami!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
I guess I pictured the Miami that Hollywood invented, filled with drug-dealers and scantily dressed floozies.
Turns out Miami is the perfect place to travel with your family. Or, as we recently found out, it’s a great place for a romantic getaway.
Of course, who can argue with any place that features sunshine glistening off of turquoise water and sandy beaches, combined with fun stuff to do, delicious restaurants, and live music?
Here are just a few of our favorite things about Miami:
-The aquarium. Yes, and I am old enough to remember and be impressed by the original set of the TV series, “Flipper.”
-South Beach. The sandy, white beaches are fringed by water so clear you can see for yards and so gentle, that your smallest children can walk out that far without ever getting into trouble. Plus, there is public access through parks that have restrooms and outdoor showers; parks so picturesque that they frequently make the cut as sets in movies and TV shows.
-South Beach shopping. Still in your bathing suit, wander into any of the famous designer stores or, my favorite, choose from all the shoe stores whose windows boast shelves of fancy, colorful shoes and purses at discount prices.
-The Vizcaya. This historic mansion overlooking Biscayne Bay once belonged to the guy who owned American Harvester and sent his decorator all over Europe, furnishing his summer home in layers of history by way of antiques. It is also a self-sustaining, eco-friendly agricultural estate.
-Los Ranchos at Bayside. A Nicaraguan restaurant serving thin-cut steak served with three sauces, my favorite of which is a parsley and garlic sauce. Steaks come with fried green plantains which are crisp like potato chips, fried sweet plantains which are similar to sweet potatoes, and pinto gallo, a traditional way of preparing pinto beans and rice. Don’t miss the Yucca or the Nicaraguan tamales.
-The Café Versailles in Little Havana. A classic Cuban restaurant serving flaky, buttery pastries unique to Cuba that bring to mind Paris but are filled with tropical jellies like mango or guava. Here, elderly Cuban gentlemen dressed in nice slacks and dress shirts line up at the window outside for the Cuban coffee. Inside reasonably-priced Cuban specialties are served on white table clothes. Plan to order in Spanish because the waiters aren’t necessarily bilingual.
-Puerto Sagua on South Beach. Try the fish soup or the pushed Cuban sandwich. Similar to French bread, Cubans make their soft, crusty loaves fresh every day, then fill them so full of ham, turkey and a mild, melted cheese that the sandwich has to be pushed down to hold together.
-Catch an outdoor concert. Walk outside any day of the week in South Beach and you’ll stumble onto a live concert at any of the restaurants where tables spill over onto the sidewalks. Order dinner and enjoy the musical benefits of the local culture. If you are so inclined, you can even smoke one of the other benefits of Miami culture, hand-rolled Cuban-style cigars.
Outside of Texas, there are few places in the world that I want to visit twice. It turns out Miami is on my short list of places to return to again and again. Bienvenidos a Miami!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
Travel the Florida Keys
Twenty-five years later, my husband and I decided it was time to celebrate our marriage with a fancy trip.
“It’s a miracle,” he said every time anyone commented on our marital accomplishment.
You would think I’d feel insulted hearing that over and over again as we traveled down the Florida Keys.
Not so. There’s just enough truth in the comment to be funny. After all, I was there for those same twenty-five years together, miraculously enough.
We both know Who gets the credit for keeping us committed to each other and to the process called marriage.
Given that marriage is one long negotiation, we wisely decided on a destination that produced no squabbling; the beach.
It turned out to be a judicious choice, even given Florida’s propensity for hurricanes. Days were balmy and lazy, filled with sunshine, surf, and seafood.
Here are the places along the way that deserve consideration for honeymooners, families, or old lovers, like us.
-Palm Island. There’s no car access to the island, so prepare yourself to be taxied over in a gorgeous wooden motor boat named “Bess” or “Truman” after the presidential couple who made Palm Island one of their favorite fishing get-aways. Executive Chef, Luis A Pous, is the #2 chef in the world, apparently. I have no idea where #1 works, but the food on Palm Island was terrific. I also enjoyed dancing under the stars to live music.
-Deer Key. The last remaining 700 or so of their own special species are making a comeback here in this tropical paradise. These tiny deer know they are loved, so they think nothing of coming up and nuzzling humans.
-Casa Marina in Key West. Recently updated, this jewel of a resort hotel has two swimming pools over-looking the Atlantic and luxurious, crisp linens.
-Turtle Kraals. Sit upstairs on the deck, watch the sun set, and enjoy nachos even Texans can appreciate while you watch the yachts come and go at the marina.
-Southpoint Scuba. Its tempting to laze by the pool all day and take in the innumerable restaurants in Key West, going from lounge chair to table and back again, but don’t miss an amazing chance to get scuba certified in a matter of two days on the #3 choral reef in the world.
-Graffiti’s. It is hard to narrow down the best boutique shopping in Key West, simply because there are so many stores and they were all running sales while we were there. My pick is Graffiti’s where the owner sells his own design of Speedo-style trunks for men. However, if I write too much about the swim trunks I bought there for my husband, I may not make it to our twenty-sixth.
The total drive time from Miami to Key West is an easy four hours; that is, if there is no threat of hurricane. The locals tend to view hurricanes as an excuse to have hurricane parties.
I’ve already started negotiating for another relaxed trip to the beach for our thirtieth. I’d wait to our golden anniversary, but it will be miracle enough just to live that long.
If only marriage were just one long trip to the beach. Wouldn’t that be grand!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
“It’s a miracle,” he said every time anyone commented on our marital accomplishment.
You would think I’d feel insulted hearing that over and over again as we traveled down the Florida Keys.
Not so. There’s just enough truth in the comment to be funny. After all, I was there for those same twenty-five years together, miraculously enough.
We both know Who gets the credit for keeping us committed to each other and to the process called marriage.
Given that marriage is one long negotiation, we wisely decided on a destination that produced no squabbling; the beach.
It turned out to be a judicious choice, even given Florida’s propensity for hurricanes. Days were balmy and lazy, filled with sunshine, surf, and seafood.
Here are the places along the way that deserve consideration for honeymooners, families, or old lovers, like us.
-Palm Island. There’s no car access to the island, so prepare yourself to be taxied over in a gorgeous wooden motor boat named “Bess” or “Truman” after the presidential couple who made Palm Island one of their favorite fishing get-aways. Executive Chef, Luis A Pous, is the #2 chef in the world, apparently. I have no idea where #1 works, but the food on Palm Island was terrific. I also enjoyed dancing under the stars to live music.
-Deer Key. The last remaining 700 or so of their own special species are making a comeback here in this tropical paradise. These tiny deer know they are loved, so they think nothing of coming up and nuzzling humans.
-Casa Marina in Key West. Recently updated, this jewel of a resort hotel has two swimming pools over-looking the Atlantic and luxurious, crisp linens.
-Turtle Kraals. Sit upstairs on the deck, watch the sun set, and enjoy nachos even Texans can appreciate while you watch the yachts come and go at the marina.
-Southpoint Scuba. Its tempting to laze by the pool all day and take in the innumerable restaurants in Key West, going from lounge chair to table and back again, but don’t miss an amazing chance to get scuba certified in a matter of two days on the #3 choral reef in the world.
-Graffiti’s. It is hard to narrow down the best boutique shopping in Key West, simply because there are so many stores and they were all running sales while we were there. My pick is Graffiti’s where the owner sells his own design of Speedo-style trunks for men. However, if I write too much about the swim trunks I bought there for my husband, I may not make it to our twenty-sixth.
The total drive time from Miami to Key West is an easy four hours; that is, if there is no threat of hurricane. The locals tend to view hurricanes as an excuse to have hurricane parties.
I’ve already started negotiating for another relaxed trip to the beach for our thirtieth. I’d wait to our golden anniversary, but it will be miracle enough just to live that long.
If only marriage were just one long trip to the beach. Wouldn’t that be grand!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at cathykrafve@gmail.com or http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Fragile X Editor's Note
A note from Cathy:
Fragile X syndrome is a genetic disorder, caused by an abnormality in an X chromosome.
All females have two X chromosomes and males have an X and Y. In children with Fragile X, the effected X chromosome has a repeat of some of the genetic information, sometimes referred to as a genetic “stutter.” A simple blood test is available to diagnose pre-conception concerns in cases where there is a family history of Fragile X.
I don’t usually post the feature writing I do, but I was so taken with Austin that I thought you guys would enjoy reading about him and his remarkable family.
Fragile X syndrome is a genetic disorder, caused by an abnormality in an X chromosome.
All females have two X chromosomes and males have an X and Y. In children with Fragile X, the effected X chromosome has a repeat of some of the genetic information, sometimes referred to as a genetic “stutter.” A simple blood test is available to diagnose pre-conception concerns in cases where there is a family history of Fragile X.
I don’t usually post the feature writing I do, but I was so taken with Austin that I thought you guys would enjoy reading about him and his remarkable family.
The Normal Boy With Fragile X
Michael Watkins, of Whitehouse Texas, is the father of Austin who was diagnosed with Fragile X as a toddler. Michael and his wife, Amanda, share this story in the hope that it will offer encouragement and information to those who face similar challenges.
The family gathers around the table, clasp hands, and bow their heads. As the father thanks Jehovah God for His blessings, including his son’s favorite, pepperoni pizza, Austin Watkins raises the hand of the person next to him and gently caresses his own cheek.
Without a word, Austin communicates a welcome to the new person at the table and communicates the truth about his own tender heart.
A freckle-faced, 10-year-old with a bur haircut and an impish grin, he has bright brown eyes that are alert to every nuance.
His sister is 8-year-old Abigail, a shy little brunette with hazel eyes, an easy laugh, and a sparkly personality.
They dig into the pizza piled high on their plates and the conversation turns to family and friends.
Austin claps with joy as small accomplishments are discussed, his or any one else’s.
And he never says a word.
“Imagine never hearing the voice of your child,” says Austin’s father, 33-year-old Michael Watkins.
For parents of Fragile X children, “normal” takes on a whole new meaning.
For instance, since Austin was late at every stage of the development, when he was finally able to run through the house like a normal boy, it was a cause for celebrating, not scolding.
Austin would run, that is, until he reached the end of the tile and the beginning of the carpet. Then he would stop, raise his foot high in the air and carefully test the new surface represented by the carpet. Once sure of his footing, he would dash off again until the next change of texture caused confusion to his brain’s processing.
Something as simple as an outing to the park represented a thousand challenges for Austin whose brain processes every last bit of information without filtering.
“He would not slide or swing,” says Michael, explaining that children with Fragile X are prone to sensory overload and that even movement or wind can alarm them. The multitude of textures that most people take for granted, like the wood chip ground cover, can trigger panic attacks as the child tries to decipher what the textures represent.
These days, his family is poignantly aware of what a milestone it is for Austin to enter into the pizza restaurant without hesitating or panicking along the way.
“Imagine if you had to listen to all the florescent lights in a restaurant, if you could hear all the silverware clattering, the car doors outside banging, and about seventy-five conversations all at once,” Michael says, explaining how children with Fragile X have difficulty with sounds. “We take for granted our ability to tune it out.”
The folks at CiCi’s Pizza call Austin by name and wait patiently as he presses the screen on his “V,” which then announces that Austin would like pepperoni pizza. V stands for voice and is the latest technology, designed by Dynabox, specifically to allow Fragile X and Autistic children a chance to communicate with words.
Austin’s grandfather, Don Treul, of Breckenridge, Texas, is particularly pleased with this new avenue of communication, claiming that it only proves what he knew all along, that his grandson was a smart boy who was aware of what was going on around him, but hindered by his inability to talk.
Being able to communicate has eased Austin’s frustration level and allowed his true personality to shine out.
“He is the most kind, huggy-kissy kind of kid,” laughs his father.
Michael also credits his wife, Amanda, with bringing a whole new level of behavioral achievements. Amanda loved both Austin and Abigail immediately when their protective father first introduced them.
Amanda saw Austin as an individual who was old enough and ready to do many things for himself.
For instance, his father was still making Austin’s sandwiches in the routine way which included cutting off the crust and dividing them into eight equal portions when he discovered that, lo and behold, Austin was perfectly capable of making his own sandwiches when Amanda was in the kitchen.
Another day, on the way home from worship, Austin communicated that he was hungry. He was instructed that as soon as they finished changing out of their good clothes, the family would make something to eat together.
After changing, on her way to the kitchen, Amanda noticed that Austin’s door was closed.
“He never closes his door,” laughs Michael. Abigail nods in agreement. Something was definitely up.
Poking her head in the door, Amanda saw immediately that Austin had orange cheese-y stuff all around his mouth as he quickly hid the bag of chips behind his back.
She had to go back to her bedroom and laugh out loud before she returned to tell Austin that he had to take a time out because he disobeyed.
“Those moments show the complexity of the person who is trapped within. Its there behind his eyes,” says Michael, tenderly.
It’s another kind of normal.
Every child has their challenges, Michael points out. All children are different and unique.
“We think he’s easy,” laughs his dad, referring to Austin’s loving personality.
Routine is especially crucial in helping children with Fragile X cope with new situations. A trip to the pizza parlor, a morning of worship can happen with preparation and planning, but a wise parent helps the child by taking it in stages.
For instance, when the family decided Austin was ready to join in worship, they took him first to a place just outside the sanctuary where he would not have to see all the people. Next, they brought him into a room with a window.
Now he sits with his family, holding his own Bible or hymnal, and enjoying the experience.
Just recently, Austin laughed out loud for the first time.
The family was sitting in worship, when something struck him as funny and his laughter came bubbling out.
The sound of Austin’s laughter is sweeter than music to his family.
The family gathers around the table, clasp hands, and bow their heads. As the father thanks Jehovah God for His blessings, including his son’s favorite, pepperoni pizza, Austin Watkins raises the hand of the person next to him and gently caresses his own cheek.
Without a word, Austin communicates a welcome to the new person at the table and communicates the truth about his own tender heart.
A freckle-faced, 10-year-old with a bur haircut and an impish grin, he has bright brown eyes that are alert to every nuance.
His sister is 8-year-old Abigail, a shy little brunette with hazel eyes, an easy laugh, and a sparkly personality.
They dig into the pizza piled high on their plates and the conversation turns to family and friends.
Austin claps with joy as small accomplishments are discussed, his or any one else’s.
And he never says a word.
“Imagine never hearing the voice of your child,” says Austin’s father, 33-year-old Michael Watkins.
For parents of Fragile X children, “normal” takes on a whole new meaning.
For instance, since Austin was late at every stage of the development, when he was finally able to run through the house like a normal boy, it was a cause for celebrating, not scolding.
Austin would run, that is, until he reached the end of the tile and the beginning of the carpet. Then he would stop, raise his foot high in the air and carefully test the new surface represented by the carpet. Once sure of his footing, he would dash off again until the next change of texture caused confusion to his brain’s processing.
Something as simple as an outing to the park represented a thousand challenges for Austin whose brain processes every last bit of information without filtering.
“He would not slide or swing,” says Michael, explaining that children with Fragile X are prone to sensory overload and that even movement or wind can alarm them. The multitude of textures that most people take for granted, like the wood chip ground cover, can trigger panic attacks as the child tries to decipher what the textures represent.
These days, his family is poignantly aware of what a milestone it is for Austin to enter into the pizza restaurant without hesitating or panicking along the way.
“Imagine if you had to listen to all the florescent lights in a restaurant, if you could hear all the silverware clattering, the car doors outside banging, and about seventy-five conversations all at once,” Michael says, explaining how children with Fragile X have difficulty with sounds. “We take for granted our ability to tune it out.”
The folks at CiCi’s Pizza call Austin by name and wait patiently as he presses the screen on his “V,” which then announces that Austin would like pepperoni pizza. V stands for voice and is the latest technology, designed by Dynabox, specifically to allow Fragile X and Autistic children a chance to communicate with words.
Austin’s grandfather, Don Treul, of Breckenridge, Texas, is particularly pleased with this new avenue of communication, claiming that it only proves what he knew all along, that his grandson was a smart boy who was aware of what was going on around him, but hindered by his inability to talk.
Being able to communicate has eased Austin’s frustration level and allowed his true personality to shine out.
“He is the most kind, huggy-kissy kind of kid,” laughs his father.
Michael also credits his wife, Amanda, with bringing a whole new level of behavioral achievements. Amanda loved both Austin and Abigail immediately when their protective father first introduced them.
Amanda saw Austin as an individual who was old enough and ready to do many things for himself.
For instance, his father was still making Austin’s sandwiches in the routine way which included cutting off the crust and dividing them into eight equal portions when he discovered that, lo and behold, Austin was perfectly capable of making his own sandwiches when Amanda was in the kitchen.
Another day, on the way home from worship, Austin communicated that he was hungry. He was instructed that as soon as they finished changing out of their good clothes, the family would make something to eat together.
After changing, on her way to the kitchen, Amanda noticed that Austin’s door was closed.
“He never closes his door,” laughs Michael. Abigail nods in agreement. Something was definitely up.
Poking her head in the door, Amanda saw immediately that Austin had orange cheese-y stuff all around his mouth as he quickly hid the bag of chips behind his back.
She had to go back to her bedroom and laugh out loud before she returned to tell Austin that he had to take a time out because he disobeyed.
“Those moments show the complexity of the person who is trapped within. Its there behind his eyes,” says Michael, tenderly.
It’s another kind of normal.
Every child has their challenges, Michael points out. All children are different and unique.
“We think he’s easy,” laughs his dad, referring to Austin’s loving personality.
Routine is especially crucial in helping children with Fragile X cope with new situations. A trip to the pizza parlor, a morning of worship can happen with preparation and planning, but a wise parent helps the child by taking it in stages.
For instance, when the family decided Austin was ready to join in worship, they took him first to a place just outside the sanctuary where he would not have to see all the people. Next, they brought him into a room with a window.
Now he sits with his family, holding his own Bible or hymnal, and enjoying the experience.
Just recently, Austin laughed out loud for the first time.
The family was sitting in worship, when something struck him as funny and his laughter came bubbling out.
The sound of Austin’s laughter is sweeter than music to his family.
Sacred Moments and Fragile X
Occasionally, Life hands us a sacred moment.
The truth is that every moment in life is sacred, but so often we go tripping along without noticing.
This week, in a moment of clarity, I recognized that I was being blessed to witness the fragile, delightful quality of God’s creation expressed in a family circle as they included me at mealtime.
I knew there was something special about this family when the grandfather, Don Treul, was telling me about them recently at a Texas Press Association convention. Don is the editor of the Breckenridge American, but the story of his grandson’s experience as a child with Fragile X was a story he had not been able to tell in his paper. It was too personal.
It was the way Don talked about his son, his daughter-in-law and the grandkids that let me know how proud he is of them all.
I called his son, Michael Watkins, when I got back home and the results are the feature you can read in today’s edition.
According to Michael and Amanda there are many things parents can do to make life better for children who are diagnosed with Fragile X and for their siblings:
-Make your child expand. He’s a regular kid, just with a different approach to life. Don’t be blinded by the label of disability.
-While a routine is a good thing for kids with Fragile X, it can work against the parents, if they fail to stretch the routine to include new challenges all the time.
-Don’t hide your special needs child at home. It doesn’t help him to be isolated, even if it feels like you are protecting him. Plus, being isolated is hard on the other siblings.
-Taking him places is good for others. The community needs to know how to respond to special needs kiddoes; how to be comfortable and patient with uniqueness.
-Don’t take it personally. People often do stare and they can be rude and unkind. Without realizing it, judgmental strangers often make problems worse. For example, Fragile X kiddoes are so aware of everyone else’s emotions that if a stranger sees an anxiety attack and assumes it is a temper tantrum, their comments only serve to make the situation more overwhelming.
-Michael and Amanda can’t help but notice when they see other families out who have a child with special needs. They recommend, if appropriate, saying something encouraging to the parents like, “We’re proud of you.”
My thanks this week to Don Treul for recognizing a story that will bless a lot of folks. And to Michael and Amanda for sharing their experience and hope with the rest of us. And to the Watkins kiddoes, Austin and Abigail, for being a blessing just by being exactly who they are.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
The truth is that every moment in life is sacred, but so often we go tripping along without noticing.
This week, in a moment of clarity, I recognized that I was being blessed to witness the fragile, delightful quality of God’s creation expressed in a family circle as they included me at mealtime.
I knew there was something special about this family when the grandfather, Don Treul, was telling me about them recently at a Texas Press Association convention. Don is the editor of the Breckenridge American, but the story of his grandson’s experience as a child with Fragile X was a story he had not been able to tell in his paper. It was too personal.
It was the way Don talked about his son, his daughter-in-law and the grandkids that let me know how proud he is of them all.
I called his son, Michael Watkins, when I got back home and the results are the feature you can read in today’s edition.
According to Michael and Amanda there are many things parents can do to make life better for children who are diagnosed with Fragile X and for their siblings:
-Make your child expand. He’s a regular kid, just with a different approach to life. Don’t be blinded by the label of disability.
-While a routine is a good thing for kids with Fragile X, it can work against the parents, if they fail to stretch the routine to include new challenges all the time.
-Don’t hide your special needs child at home. It doesn’t help him to be isolated, even if it feels like you are protecting him. Plus, being isolated is hard on the other siblings.
-Taking him places is good for others. The community needs to know how to respond to special needs kiddoes; how to be comfortable and patient with uniqueness.
-Don’t take it personally. People often do stare and they can be rude and unkind. Without realizing it, judgmental strangers often make problems worse. For example, Fragile X kiddoes are so aware of everyone else’s emotions that if a stranger sees an anxiety attack and assumes it is a temper tantrum, their comments only serve to make the situation more overwhelming.
-Michael and Amanda can’t help but notice when they see other families out who have a child with special needs. They recommend, if appropriate, saying something encouraging to the parents like, “We’re proud of you.”
My thanks this week to Don Treul for recognizing a story that will bless a lot of folks. And to Michael and Amanda for sharing their experience and hope with the rest of us. And to the Watkins kiddoes, Austin and Abigail, for being a blessing just by being exactly who they are.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Being Your Child's Advocate at School
We all want what is best for our children.
Sometimes that desire takes us to our child’s school.
To be your child’s advocate, you have to start by respecting what the teachers and administrators are trying to accomplish in their world.
What are their main goals for the year? Find out what makes the principal happy.
Seeing life from the perspective of the teacher and administrators will take you a long way in having a voice in your child’s school culture.
Begin by being part of the team.
Remember that each teacher has 25 or 30 students; all with individual talents and needs. Teachers often welcome help. Having parents around who are paying attention is a blessing.
Make a contribution.
Volunteer to serve. It doesn’t have to be a big, time-consuming task. Simply do what you love, passionately and generously.
Show up just for fun once in awhile. You child will love unexpected company at lunch time, for instance. Plus, it will give you a chance to put names and faces with fellow students.
Keep in mind that your child is your priority.
Gently remind the teachers and principal that your focus is always first and foremost the well-being of your own child. This is actually good news for the teacher. While they may be over-worked and underpaid, teachers don’t want any kiddoes falling through the cracks. If they trust you, they will be glad to see you when you show up at school.
Don’t wait until you are mad.
Often parents make the mistake of waiting until there is already a problem and hurt feelings.
Of course, if you are mad and feeling self-righteous, you will only be viewed as an adversary, rather than a friend. Especially, if it is your first visit all year.
View problems as information gathering opportunities.
You can bet that if you come to the school with questions and a gentle attitude, you will get the information that will help you deal with the problem.
Hang in there.
Sometimes, in spite of your best efforts, you run into the brick wall of bureaucracy. Remember that the teacher and the principal are bound by district policies and state and federal laws. Sometimes the policies are just as impractical and burdensome to the teacher as they are to you and your child, so show some compassion.
With all the adults working in your child’s best interests, creativity will often result in solutions. But, that’s only if you are perceived as a team member and not the enemy.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are welcome at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
Sometimes that desire takes us to our child’s school.
To be your child’s advocate, you have to start by respecting what the teachers and administrators are trying to accomplish in their world.
What are their main goals for the year? Find out what makes the principal happy.
Seeing life from the perspective of the teacher and administrators will take you a long way in having a voice in your child’s school culture.
Begin by being part of the team.
Remember that each teacher has 25 or 30 students; all with individual talents and needs. Teachers often welcome help. Having parents around who are paying attention is a blessing.
Make a contribution.
Volunteer to serve. It doesn’t have to be a big, time-consuming task. Simply do what you love, passionately and generously.
Show up just for fun once in awhile. You child will love unexpected company at lunch time, for instance. Plus, it will give you a chance to put names and faces with fellow students.
Keep in mind that your child is your priority.
Gently remind the teachers and principal that your focus is always first and foremost the well-being of your own child. This is actually good news for the teacher. While they may be over-worked and underpaid, teachers don’t want any kiddoes falling through the cracks. If they trust you, they will be glad to see you when you show up at school.
Don’t wait until you are mad.
Often parents make the mistake of waiting until there is already a problem and hurt feelings.
Of course, if you are mad and feeling self-righteous, you will only be viewed as an adversary, rather than a friend. Especially, if it is your first visit all year.
View problems as information gathering opportunities.
You can bet that if you come to the school with questions and a gentle attitude, you will get the information that will help you deal with the problem.
Hang in there.
Sometimes, in spite of your best efforts, you run into the brick wall of bureaucracy. Remember that the teacher and the principal are bound by district policies and state and federal laws. Sometimes the policies are just as impractical and burdensome to the teacher as they are to you and your child, so show some compassion.
With all the adults working in your child’s best interests, creativity will often result in solutions. But, that’s only if you are perceived as a team member and not the enemy.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are welcome at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com or cathykrafve@gmail.com.
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