Checklists are fabulous things. We all know a Checklist Charlie, someone who just can’t navigate life without a list for every occasion.
Lists are often full of good ideas. In a matter of minutes, a reader can run down a list of ten ideas, discarding nine, but keeping the one idea that might answer a nagging question, meet a need, solve a problem, restructure a business, rejuvenate a relationship, change a life
Everyone loves a checklist, as long as it is not a to-do list; to-do lists can be a little overwhelming. All other lists qualify as lots of fun.
As we get older, we learn that a list can even replace essential functions like our memory, for example. That is, if you can find someone to remind you where you left your list.
With a list you can actually leave the grocery store with the thing you went shopping for in the first place.
A list can give you the ABC’s of any subject. This season, “A” stands for affordable, as in “39 Hot Tips for Affordable Trips” (Caribbean Travel & Life, May 2007), “B” stands for bars, as in “The Best Bars in America” (Esquire, June 2007), and “C” stands for cars, as in “The Best and Worst 2007 Cars (Consumer Reports, April 2007).
The Wall Street Journal offers a list of the day’s news on their front page under the heading “What’s News-”, but of course, we prefer our news local and in-depth.
For the outdoorsman, there is a list for every interest, including “150 Best Fishing Spots” (Field and Stream, June 2007) and “Top 50 New Products for Deer Hunting” (Deer & Deer Hunting, June 2007). Isn’t deer season still three months away?
For those who think outdoors means sunshine and sand, this month’s cover of Texas Monthly offers “The Best Beaches in Texas.” There are “100+ Swimsuits” in Seventeen (June 2007). Fortunately, Good Housekeeping offers “5 Ways to Reduce Stress and Fatigue” which you will probably need if you decide to go swimsuit shopping.
Then there is the list that they printed in Cosmopolitan, June 2007, “75 Sex Tricks” with the cutline, “Warning: They’re so Hot, This Magazine May Burst Into Flames.” Obviously, that is a list that is way too racy to print in a small town newspaper, for heaven’s sake.
There are tips for businesses, brides and even bum steers.
Yes, lists are good things. In fact, as much as we hate them, even to-do lists have their place, since there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of marking off the last item of a to-do list.
So, if you find that you are also a “Checklist Charlie,” you’ll want to check here again soon for the upcoming “Father’s Day List.”
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in Flint, Texas with her family. She refuses to admit she is forgetful, but prefers to think of herself as list-prepared.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Big Dreams: New Writer at the Banner
If I could tell young moms one thing it would be that when you finish raising your kids, you get to do something else. And that something can be something Big, with a capital B.
No one told me that there is an afterlife for stay-at-home moms.
When I began the project of raising my own children twenty-one years ago, it looked like such a long-term commitment that I never for a minute even considered what I would do once they no longer needed me.
‘Mom, you need to follow your dreams. Dream big,” my middle daughter recently told me. One of the beautiful things about raising kiddoes is at some point they start to fire your own advice back at you.
Okay, so here’s my big dream. I want to be a syndicated columnist.
I have always been a patriot about the fourth estate. You know, the balance to the three branches of our democratic government, that is, the free press.
I’m big on local papers reporting local news. I like knowing who the folks are, who the local heroes are, the civic leaders, the volunteers that really get the job done, the local kid who makes good. I also like knowing my representatives and telling them what I think when they’re home between sessions. I vote every election even when the race is uncontested. While I don’t particularly like either political party, I am thankful for both of them and for the third party candidates who hold them accountable.
So what if the syndicates never pick me up? I’ll settle for seeing my words in print in a small, local newspaper.
With that in mind, I dropped in to meet Lori Mellinger, editor of my favorite small town rag. Can you believe she gave me a shot at my dream?
I figure with Lori’s experience and editing, I might have a shot at the big leagues. Well, anyway, even if I miss, it is tremendous fun taking a small shot at the big target.
I come from a long line of really smart, well-educated people, who are not afraid to follow their dreams. Since I managed to go to kindergarten twice; I suspect I was a disappointment from the start.
My mother, who is truly a visionary, repeated her mantra throughout my childhood: “You are a genius, Cathy.” This is the one and only thing I’ve ever known my mother to lie about. Of course, since I was her first born child that could explain why mom was confused about the genius thing.
I grew up in Tyler, graduated from Robert E. Lee in 1977.
I went off to the University of Texas where I managed to flunk French, but graduate with a Bachelors in Journalism anyway.
Consequently, my other Big Dream is to be bilingual.
Three years ago, that daughter who encouraged me to write, talked me into taking Spanish with her.
My Spanish is functional rather than fluent, unless you are bilingual, in which case I have to admit I’m barely functional.
About 10 year’s ago, my husband and I moved to Flint from Tyler after a short detour to Louisiana.
There are those who will think that when we get really smart we’ll make it all the way to Bullard. They may be right, but for now we couldn’t be happier surrounded by the loving neighbors and friends on our street.
I will be fifty soon. I have two grown daughters who turned out all right in spite of their parents and a son who is an inspiration to his mom, the would-be writer. William, our ten-year-old and youngest, is the editor of his own little neighborhood newspaper and, I have to say, he makes it look easy.
So that’s the scoop on the new writer at the Banner and her big dreams. Now all I have to do is write a good enough article to get past Lori. Wish me luck!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, writes a weekly column for small town newspapers around East Texas. Those interested in reading her column in their paper can contact her at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
No one told me that there is an afterlife for stay-at-home moms.
When I began the project of raising my own children twenty-one years ago, it looked like such a long-term commitment that I never for a minute even considered what I would do once they no longer needed me.
‘Mom, you need to follow your dreams. Dream big,” my middle daughter recently told me. One of the beautiful things about raising kiddoes is at some point they start to fire your own advice back at you.
Okay, so here’s my big dream. I want to be a syndicated columnist.
I have always been a patriot about the fourth estate. You know, the balance to the three branches of our democratic government, that is, the free press.
I’m big on local papers reporting local news. I like knowing who the folks are, who the local heroes are, the civic leaders, the volunteers that really get the job done, the local kid who makes good. I also like knowing my representatives and telling them what I think when they’re home between sessions. I vote every election even when the race is uncontested. While I don’t particularly like either political party, I am thankful for both of them and for the third party candidates who hold them accountable.
So what if the syndicates never pick me up? I’ll settle for seeing my words in print in a small, local newspaper.
With that in mind, I dropped in to meet Lori Mellinger, editor of my favorite small town rag. Can you believe she gave me a shot at my dream?
I figure with Lori’s experience and editing, I might have a shot at the big leagues. Well, anyway, even if I miss, it is tremendous fun taking a small shot at the big target.
I come from a long line of really smart, well-educated people, who are not afraid to follow their dreams. Since I managed to go to kindergarten twice; I suspect I was a disappointment from the start.
My mother, who is truly a visionary, repeated her mantra throughout my childhood: “You are a genius, Cathy.” This is the one and only thing I’ve ever known my mother to lie about. Of course, since I was her first born child that could explain why mom was confused about the genius thing.
I grew up in Tyler, graduated from Robert E. Lee in 1977.
I went off to the University of Texas where I managed to flunk French, but graduate with a Bachelors in Journalism anyway.
Consequently, my other Big Dream is to be bilingual.
Three years ago, that daughter who encouraged me to write, talked me into taking Spanish with her.
My Spanish is functional rather than fluent, unless you are bilingual, in which case I have to admit I’m barely functional.
About 10 year’s ago, my husband and I moved to Flint from Tyler after a short detour to Louisiana.
There are those who will think that when we get really smart we’ll make it all the way to Bullard. They may be right, but for now we couldn’t be happier surrounded by the loving neighbors and friends on our street.
I will be fifty soon. I have two grown daughters who turned out all right in spite of their parents and a son who is an inspiration to his mom, the would-be writer. William, our ten-year-old and youngest, is the editor of his own little neighborhood newspaper and, I have to say, he makes it look easy.
So that’s the scoop on the new writer at the Banner and her big dreams. Now all I have to do is write a good enough article to get past Lori. Wish me luck!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, writes a weekly column for small town newspapers around East Texas. Those interested in reading her column in their paper can contact her at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Going International? Go Lightly
Who can stand the airport these days?
Wouldn’t it be great if teleporting were not just the stuff of science fiction? What a dream to travel internationally, or even in the US, without the hassle of baggage checks and baggage handlers!
My personal philosophy is “if it doesn’t fit in my back pack, it doesn‘t make the trip!”
What can I say? I’m sorry, I have trust issues. The idea of strangers rifling through my luggage behind the scenes makes me shudder. I refuse to check baggage.
When I was growing up, my parents had their own hard and fast rule for travel, “You bring it, you carry it!”
All of which adds up to make me a very light packer.
There are plenty of things you can do to lighten your suitcase. Here are some ideas for how to pack for a two week vacation in a small rolling suitcase that fits under the seat, plus a back pack:
-Only go to the beach. Just kidding.
-Always pack your swim suit in your purse. Seriously. Why would you take a chance with the item that is the most difficult thing in the world to fit? It represents hours spent in the dressing room, why would you trust it to behind the scenes Baggage Riflers? Not that they would actually want to steal a middle-aged woman’s swim suit, I’m not paranoid, well, but you never know.
-Put your purse in your back pack, along with a small book, a small camera, and your zip lock bag of liquids.
-Wear a versatile, comfortable jacket and your walking shoes on the plane. Wearing them will free up room in your suitcase, plus the temperature on the plane will always be predictably unpredictable.
-Speaking of shoes, tennis shoes and baseball caps may mark you as an American. Take a hat, but choose one for travel that can be shoved in a pocket and come out retaining its shape.
-Bring cheap, neutral clothes that you can leave behind when you return home.
-Leave your good jewelry at home and invest $5 dollars or less in something fun, colorful, sparkly, and obviously fake. Take sparkly flip flops to match for the beach or a short walk to dinner.
- Get a haircut and leave the curlers at home, along with all the other appliances Americans think they need. Take a vacation from hours in the bathroom and experience natural glamour.
-Pack a fold up duffle bag in the bottom of your suitcase. Fill it with your souvenirs for the return trip home. I say put your swim suits with the souvenirs. Then, it is okay to check your rolling suitcase full of your dirty, cheap clothes.
If you have more practical ideas about international travel or light packing to share, you know where to reach me.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, may travel the world, but always comes home to beautiful East Texas. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Wouldn’t it be great if teleporting were not just the stuff of science fiction? What a dream to travel internationally, or even in the US, without the hassle of baggage checks and baggage handlers!
My personal philosophy is “if it doesn’t fit in my back pack, it doesn‘t make the trip!”
What can I say? I’m sorry, I have trust issues. The idea of strangers rifling through my luggage behind the scenes makes me shudder. I refuse to check baggage.
When I was growing up, my parents had their own hard and fast rule for travel, “You bring it, you carry it!”
All of which adds up to make me a very light packer.
There are plenty of things you can do to lighten your suitcase. Here are some ideas for how to pack for a two week vacation in a small rolling suitcase that fits under the seat, plus a back pack:
-Only go to the beach. Just kidding.
-Always pack your swim suit in your purse. Seriously. Why would you take a chance with the item that is the most difficult thing in the world to fit? It represents hours spent in the dressing room, why would you trust it to behind the scenes Baggage Riflers? Not that they would actually want to steal a middle-aged woman’s swim suit, I’m not paranoid, well, but you never know.
-Put your purse in your back pack, along with a small book, a small camera, and your zip lock bag of liquids.
-Wear a versatile, comfortable jacket and your walking shoes on the plane. Wearing them will free up room in your suitcase, plus the temperature on the plane will always be predictably unpredictable.
-Speaking of shoes, tennis shoes and baseball caps may mark you as an American. Take a hat, but choose one for travel that can be shoved in a pocket and come out retaining its shape.
-Bring cheap, neutral clothes that you can leave behind when you return home.
-Leave your good jewelry at home and invest $5 dollars or less in something fun, colorful, sparkly, and obviously fake. Take sparkly flip flops to match for the beach or a short walk to dinner.
- Get a haircut and leave the curlers at home, along with all the other appliances Americans think they need. Take a vacation from hours in the bathroom and experience natural glamour.
-Pack a fold up duffle bag in the bottom of your suitcase. Fill it with your souvenirs for the return trip home. I say put your swim suits with the souvenirs. Then, it is okay to check your rolling suitcase full of your dirty, cheap clothes.
If you have more practical ideas about international travel or light packing to share, you know where to reach me.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, may travel the world, but always comes home to beautiful East Texas. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
The Gift of Mercy
Every woman knows that the best presents come in a tiny box.
Mercy is that way. It is the small daily mercies that fill our hearts with wonder.
“He still loves me even though my bank account is overdrawn again. She puts up with my football addiction year after year.”
“I have a friend who is always there for me, even when I’m sick of myself.”
We’re amazed that anyone finds us worthy of such patience.
I was reminded how easy it is to short-circuit the process of mercy recently when I called to schedule a car repair.
“Cathy, I’m so glad to hear from you. We were worried when you didn’t show up for your last appointment,” said the person on the other end of the line. His voice was full of compassion and forgiveness. I knew he was prepared to make me feel better about my mistake.
What mistake?
How could I forget an appointment I had no memory of? Ironic, isn’t it?
“Oh no, I didn’t have an appointment,” I responded in bewilderment.
“It’s okay, we had a really full day anyway.”
“Oh no, I would have called to cancel. I would have written it in my calendar. Are you sure that it wasn’t a miscommunication between you and the service department?”
If all else fails, shift the blame, right?
A week went by while we waited for the new part to arrive.
Then, one day, out of the blue, a fresh breeze blew gently through the space that used to hold my brain. In a flash a memory resurfaced, a vague recollection about a date with no calendar handy at that moment. Oops.
“I’m calling to apologize for not one, but two things. First, I’m sorry I stood you guys up. Second, I’m sorry I argued with you about it.”
And the process was restored.
He got to say all the comforting, gracious things he intended to say in the first place a week earlier. I got to receive a small gift of mercy.
Not a bad day’s work when you think about it.
Oh, and when I took my car in later that week, it happened to be on a day when Joel was cooking breakfast, so they fed me, too. Okay, if you take your car to Lade Ford in Frankston, you probably recognize James Lade.
Not only did James give me the gift of a little mercy, he also waited patiently while I sorted out my memory issues. That gave me a chance to think through the process of how we offer mercy and how we receive it.
Plus, I got a topic out of the experience, just in time for a Christmas column.
That’s really three or four gifts, kind of like the boxes that are individually wrapped and then stacked and tied together with a big, bright bow.
Mercy. A beautiful gift, wrapped in small daily experiences, and appropriate for any occasion.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is busy wrapping the last of her Christmas purchases as she anticipates the real gifts of the season.
Mercy is that way. It is the small daily mercies that fill our hearts with wonder.
“He still loves me even though my bank account is overdrawn again. She puts up with my football addiction year after year.”
“I have a friend who is always there for me, even when I’m sick of myself.”
We’re amazed that anyone finds us worthy of such patience.
I was reminded how easy it is to short-circuit the process of mercy recently when I called to schedule a car repair.
“Cathy, I’m so glad to hear from you. We were worried when you didn’t show up for your last appointment,” said the person on the other end of the line. His voice was full of compassion and forgiveness. I knew he was prepared to make me feel better about my mistake.
What mistake?
How could I forget an appointment I had no memory of? Ironic, isn’t it?
“Oh no, I didn’t have an appointment,” I responded in bewilderment.
“It’s okay, we had a really full day anyway.”
“Oh no, I would have called to cancel. I would have written it in my calendar. Are you sure that it wasn’t a miscommunication between you and the service department?”
If all else fails, shift the blame, right?
A week went by while we waited for the new part to arrive.
Then, one day, out of the blue, a fresh breeze blew gently through the space that used to hold my brain. In a flash a memory resurfaced, a vague recollection about a date with no calendar handy at that moment. Oops.
“I’m calling to apologize for not one, but two things. First, I’m sorry I stood you guys up. Second, I’m sorry I argued with you about it.”
And the process was restored.
He got to say all the comforting, gracious things he intended to say in the first place a week earlier. I got to receive a small gift of mercy.
Not a bad day’s work when you think about it.
Oh, and when I took my car in later that week, it happened to be on a day when Joel was cooking breakfast, so they fed me, too. Okay, if you take your car to Lade Ford in Frankston, you probably recognize James Lade.
Not only did James give me the gift of a little mercy, he also waited patiently while I sorted out my memory issues. That gave me a chance to think through the process of how we offer mercy and how we receive it.
Plus, I got a topic out of the experience, just in time for a Christmas column.
That’s really three or four gifts, kind of like the boxes that are individually wrapped and then stacked and tied together with a big, bright bow.
Mercy. A beautiful gift, wrapped in small daily experiences, and appropriate for any occasion.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is busy wrapping the last of her Christmas purchases as she anticipates the real gifts of the season.
The Gift of Joy
I received an early Christmas present last week. It was one I really wanted. In fact, I wanted it so much that I went out and got it. But it wasn’t something I could buy for myself.
Okay, I confess, I have been known to wrap up presents and put them under the tree with my name on them. However, this particular gift isn’t offered in stores.
Each year at this time, Smith County Medical Alliance teams up with Discovery Science Place to host a party around a Sensory Tree.
What exactly is a Sensory Tree? Good question. It is a Christmas tree decorated with all the senses in mind.
Besides the usual twinkly lights and shining, colorful ornaments, there are also cinnamon sticks and doilies filled with potpourri for those who can smell, but cannot hear.
There are jingle bells and battery-powered, musical ornaments for those who can hear, but cannot see.
There are soft, fuzzy teddy bears and bristly pine cones to touch. A train toots as it circles the tree.
Musicians fill every room with holiday music.
The children fill the rooms with laughter.
Children lay on the floor to feel the vibrations of the fiddles or danced with their hands waving in the air.
Teachers and children sign their excitement, fingers fluttering.
Did you know the sign for the “shh” is just the one you would expect? Their teachers were use it a lot because it seems that hearing-impaired children are just as noisy as other children when they are having fun together.
Wheelchairs scoot up closely to instruments so little ones can touch.
Throughout the place, there is a spirit of joy that is not limited by physical realities.
While, it may not be the case with most of us, these special-needs kiddoes live a life that is measured in small joys, joys that are unrelated to physical circumstances.
For their parents and teachers, it is a practiced lifestyle. Their joy is a daily perspective that requires inner discipline.
So, if you think that it is the volunteers, bringing with them their talents and their gentle hearts, who are the source of all that joy, you would be only half correct.
The real story is the joy the volunteers receive by being there.
The gift of joy. Brought to the event and delivered by children whose physical challenges are balanced by a special gift only a Loving Father could design.
The gift of joy. Passed along by parents, siblings and teachers who are practiced in it.
Sometimes in life it is necessary to take the gifts we want. They are offered. It is up to us to receive them.
Checklist Charlie, aka Cathy Primer Krafve, lives in Flint with her family. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Okay, I confess, I have been known to wrap up presents and put them under the tree with my name on them. However, this particular gift isn’t offered in stores.
Each year at this time, Smith County Medical Alliance teams up with Discovery Science Place to host a party around a Sensory Tree.
What exactly is a Sensory Tree? Good question. It is a Christmas tree decorated with all the senses in mind.
Besides the usual twinkly lights and shining, colorful ornaments, there are also cinnamon sticks and doilies filled with potpourri for those who can smell, but cannot hear.
There are jingle bells and battery-powered, musical ornaments for those who can hear, but cannot see.
There are soft, fuzzy teddy bears and bristly pine cones to touch. A train toots as it circles the tree.
Musicians fill every room with holiday music.
The children fill the rooms with laughter.
Children lay on the floor to feel the vibrations of the fiddles or danced with their hands waving in the air.
Teachers and children sign their excitement, fingers fluttering.
Did you know the sign for the “shh” is just the one you would expect? Their teachers were use it a lot because it seems that hearing-impaired children are just as noisy as other children when they are having fun together.
Wheelchairs scoot up closely to instruments so little ones can touch.
Throughout the place, there is a spirit of joy that is not limited by physical realities.
While, it may not be the case with most of us, these special-needs kiddoes live a life that is measured in small joys, joys that are unrelated to physical circumstances.
For their parents and teachers, it is a practiced lifestyle. Their joy is a daily perspective that requires inner discipline.
So, if you think that it is the volunteers, bringing with them their talents and their gentle hearts, who are the source of all that joy, you would be only half correct.
The real story is the joy the volunteers receive by being there.
The gift of joy. Brought to the event and delivered by children whose physical challenges are balanced by a special gift only a Loving Father could design.
The gift of joy. Passed along by parents, siblings and teachers who are practiced in it.
Sometimes in life it is necessary to take the gifts we want. They are offered. It is up to us to receive them.
Checklist Charlie, aka Cathy Primer Krafve, lives in Flint with her family. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Give the Gift of Generosity
Last year, my son got a waffle iron for Christmas. No technology, nothing computerized. Just a waffle iron.
Suffice it to say, somebody had a bad attitude for awhile before Christmas. Okay, maybe it was somebody and both his parents.
For his birthday party last year which happens a few weeks before Christmas, I went to Walmart and bought ten blankets, one for each of his years. Then, we, just he and I, delivered them to PATH in honor of his birthday.
By the way, he said I could publish this story as long as I mentioned that the idea for a PATH birthday party is “the dumbest thing on earth.”
PATH, People Attempting To Help, in Tyler, is a non-profit group that provides food and other services to folks who need help.
I took my son to PATH with a perfectly sweet attitude; I figure with a thirty-eight year head start on the boy, I can afford to be sweet even when I am fed up.
“I’ll take the blame now because it will be credit later,” my husband likes to say. There’s a philosophy for parents, if I ever heard one!
The PATH trip did wonders for his attitude. Not to mention his mom’s.
I’ve been poling my friends with the question, “How do you teach your kiddoes to be generous, rather than spoiled?” Here are some of their answers.
-It’s about mentoring. They have to see that you enjoy giving.
-Teach your kids to be thankful and they will feel that they have plenty to share.
-Point out the long term benefits in the lives of those around them when we share or make sacrifices for each other.
-Teach them to want what is best for their siblings and they will work to help each other.
-Plan a secret gift. Let them enjoy the thrill of dropping it off and making a quick get away.
-Let them experience wanting, or better yet needing, something for awhile, so they can appreciate how much it means to receive something you really need.
There’s a difference between giving and sacrificing.
Giving is sharing out of the abundance of what we have. Sacrificing is giving away something that we really need for ourselves.
In our homes, we make sacrifices every day. We make a decision to love patiently as little ones grow up slowly and it costs us in endurance. We make the tough decisions because it is best for a teenager and then we weather the repercussions. We love in the face of family baggage that can include rejection, dysfunction, controlling, you name it.
This year, my son and I get to buy eleven blankets. I’m thankful for that.
And I’m thankful for the maturity I see forming in his heart.
The best part about his Christmas gift last year is that it turns out he makes terrific waffles and he loves surprising us with breakfast.
May you and I give the best gifts this year.
Cathy Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives with her family in East Texas. Comments are invited at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.
Suffice it to say, somebody had a bad attitude for awhile before Christmas. Okay, maybe it was somebody and both his parents.
For his birthday party last year which happens a few weeks before Christmas, I went to Walmart and bought ten blankets, one for each of his years. Then, we, just he and I, delivered them to PATH in honor of his birthday.
By the way, he said I could publish this story as long as I mentioned that the idea for a PATH birthday party is “the dumbest thing on earth.”
PATH, People Attempting To Help, in Tyler, is a non-profit group that provides food and other services to folks who need help.
I took my son to PATH with a perfectly sweet attitude; I figure with a thirty-eight year head start on the boy, I can afford to be sweet even when I am fed up.
“I’ll take the blame now because it will be credit later,” my husband likes to say. There’s a philosophy for parents, if I ever heard one!
The PATH trip did wonders for his attitude. Not to mention his mom’s.
I’ve been poling my friends with the question, “How do you teach your kiddoes to be generous, rather than spoiled?” Here are some of their answers.
-It’s about mentoring. They have to see that you enjoy giving.
-Teach your kids to be thankful and they will feel that they have plenty to share.
-Point out the long term benefits in the lives of those around them when we share or make sacrifices for each other.
-Teach them to want what is best for their siblings and they will work to help each other.
-Plan a secret gift. Let them enjoy the thrill of dropping it off and making a quick get away.
-Let them experience wanting, or better yet needing, something for awhile, so they can appreciate how much it means to receive something you really need.
There’s a difference between giving and sacrificing.
Giving is sharing out of the abundance of what we have. Sacrificing is giving away something that we really need for ourselves.
In our homes, we make sacrifices every day. We make a decision to love patiently as little ones grow up slowly and it costs us in endurance. We make the tough decisions because it is best for a teenager and then we weather the repercussions. We love in the face of family baggage that can include rejection, dysfunction, controlling, you name it.
This year, my son and I get to buy eleven blankets. I’m thankful for that.
And I’m thankful for the maturity I see forming in his heart.
The best part about his Christmas gift last year is that it turns out he makes terrific waffles and he loves surprising us with breakfast.
May you and I give the best gifts this year.
Cathy Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives with her family in East Texas. Comments are invited at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.
The Gift of Comfort
‘Tis the season to stand in line with every other human on the planet, waiting to exchange the clothes that don’t fit, the cologne that triggers your allergies, and the house shoes that are obnoxiously fluffy.
It is not too late to exchange the idea of gifts as material things, instead giving a gift that keeps on giving.
The Gift of Comfort.
It is a gift you can only pass along after someone else gives it to you.
There are only limited sources; the God of all comfort and other folks who know what it feels like to hurt.
It also seems there are limited supplies. Perhaps that is because it is so costly to purchase.
Yes, it must be purchased.
Unfortunately, the cost is excessive. You have to be willing to tell the truth about your own pain and actually feel how badly it hurts.
My husband, David, received insight into this phenomenon when his beloved father left us recently to make his appearance into heaven.
As one dear friend wrapped his arms around David, he whispered that he used to attend funerals and feel awkward and detached. Until he lost his own father and then he got it.
With those words and that embrace, he passed along the gift of comfort to David.
So, what else is comforting? Here’s the list so far:
-friends who love us in our sorrow and will hold us while we cry,
-counsel from folks who have experience living through the hurt,
-stories that remind us of excellent, funny times,
-gentle insight about ways to make the limited number of days on this planet more brilliant,
-giving away as much of my heart as I can possibly spare because today could be my last, thus avoiding unnecessary regrets,
-knowing men who makes it a point to bless each and every one he loves before he dies,
-silence,
-the thought of future reunions,
-friends who promise to arrive before anyone else and clean your house if you die unexpectedly,
-people who show up at the house with paper plates, plastic cups, bags of ice, and toilet paper.
Death is not the only pain built into this earthly life, of course.
There is the pain of difficult relationships; having a marriage that is falling apart or a child who is bent on self-destruction.
Or the bitter disappointment of waking up after a car wreck or a surgery to discover that your body is not meeting your expectations.
Or the daily physical pain of a body that suffers with a long-term disease.
Or, worse yet, the pain of watching a loved one struggle with pain.
Finally, worst of all, is the true guilt we experience when we recognize that we have injured those we love, all the while justifying our own foolishness or self-centeredness.
May the New Year bring you the courage to face with integrity and dignity whatever pain is your portion in this life. And may God surround you with folks who can comfort you with the comfort they have received.
So, while it is excruciatingly expensive, the Gift of Comfort is the perfect gift. Or maybe we should say the perfect re-gift.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, makes her home in East Texas, a place that we claim is a little piece of heaven on earth. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
It is not too late to exchange the idea of gifts as material things, instead giving a gift that keeps on giving.
The Gift of Comfort.
It is a gift you can only pass along after someone else gives it to you.
There are only limited sources; the God of all comfort and other folks who know what it feels like to hurt.
It also seems there are limited supplies. Perhaps that is because it is so costly to purchase.
Yes, it must be purchased.
Unfortunately, the cost is excessive. You have to be willing to tell the truth about your own pain and actually feel how badly it hurts.
My husband, David, received insight into this phenomenon when his beloved father left us recently to make his appearance into heaven.
As one dear friend wrapped his arms around David, he whispered that he used to attend funerals and feel awkward and detached. Until he lost his own father and then he got it.
With those words and that embrace, he passed along the gift of comfort to David.
So, what else is comforting? Here’s the list so far:
-friends who love us in our sorrow and will hold us while we cry,
-counsel from folks who have experience living through the hurt,
-stories that remind us of excellent, funny times,
-gentle insight about ways to make the limited number of days on this planet more brilliant,
-giving away as much of my heart as I can possibly spare because today could be my last, thus avoiding unnecessary regrets,
-knowing men who makes it a point to bless each and every one he loves before he dies,
-silence,
-the thought of future reunions,
-friends who promise to arrive before anyone else and clean your house if you die unexpectedly,
-people who show up at the house with paper plates, plastic cups, bags of ice, and toilet paper.
Death is not the only pain built into this earthly life, of course.
There is the pain of difficult relationships; having a marriage that is falling apart or a child who is bent on self-destruction.
Or the bitter disappointment of waking up after a car wreck or a surgery to discover that your body is not meeting your expectations.
Or the daily physical pain of a body that suffers with a long-term disease.
Or, worse yet, the pain of watching a loved one struggle with pain.
Finally, worst of all, is the true guilt we experience when we recognize that we have injured those we love, all the while justifying our own foolishness or self-centeredness.
May the New Year bring you the courage to face with integrity and dignity whatever pain is your portion in this life. And may God surround you with folks who can comfort you with the comfort they have received.
So, while it is excruciatingly expensive, the Gift of Comfort is the perfect gift. Or maybe we should say the perfect re-gift.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, makes her home in East Texas, a place that we claim is a little piece of heaven on earth. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Things Every Young Mom Should Know
Now that two of my three kiddoes have flown the nest, I am finding I have time to reflect, something I never dreamed of when they were toddlers.
I remember having the older moms encourage me and tell me not to worry so much that it would all turn out fine. It did turn out just fine, after all, but that never stopped me from fretting.
So, if you are chasing little ones around, perhaps something here will give you a boost today.
What I wish I’d known as a young mother.
-That being a mother is exhausting, physical work. The good news is that moving children in and out of car seats is a free work-out designed to trim your triceps.
-That one small baby requires a massive amount of space in the car for sundry other necessary items. This principle is proportionately related to how much mess they will make in your car.
-That Moms should not cry or fuss over spilt milk. Unless it’s in the car, in which case it is going to stink for a long time.
-That giving up sleep could be a form of worship.
-That between pregnancy and nursing, I could go years with someone else being the boss of my body.
-Speaking of bodies, I really should have taken that anatomy class in college, so I could talk to the pediatrician without sounding like a silly goose.
-That I was discipling my own children whether I knew it or not which explains where they get some of their weird habits.
-That if my child says he is not hungry and I make him eat his supper; he will throw up as soon as he lies down for bed because he has a virus.
-That if my child is going to get sick, it will happen minutes after I fall asleep.
-Related principle about sleep: If I need a nap and can fit it in, I might as well take one because I am probably going to be up all night with a sick child anyway.
-Anything embarrassing I do, will happen in front of my children and, before the day is over, be repeated to the last person on earth I want to know about it.
-I can get revenge because I will still be telling embarrassing stories about them when they are 20. After I turn fifty, the revenge principle expires because by then I will be too forgetful to remember which child did what.
-That when I finally get a spare moment, I’ll be saying, “Now who are the people in this picture? Are you sure that young woman was me?” and “My goodness, you all looked alike when you were babies!”
So, to all those moms who are in the toddler years, keep up the good work. It is back-breaking, fast-paced, exhausting work interspersed with brief quiet moments of divine bliss.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family and when she grows up, she hopes to be a grandmother. She can be reached at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
I remember having the older moms encourage me and tell me not to worry so much that it would all turn out fine. It did turn out just fine, after all, but that never stopped me from fretting.
So, if you are chasing little ones around, perhaps something here will give you a boost today.
What I wish I’d known as a young mother.
-That being a mother is exhausting, physical work. The good news is that moving children in and out of car seats is a free work-out designed to trim your triceps.
-That one small baby requires a massive amount of space in the car for sundry other necessary items. This principle is proportionately related to how much mess they will make in your car.
-That Moms should not cry or fuss over spilt milk. Unless it’s in the car, in which case it is going to stink for a long time.
-That giving up sleep could be a form of worship.
-That between pregnancy and nursing, I could go years with someone else being the boss of my body.
-Speaking of bodies, I really should have taken that anatomy class in college, so I could talk to the pediatrician without sounding like a silly goose.
-That I was discipling my own children whether I knew it or not which explains where they get some of their weird habits.
-That if my child says he is not hungry and I make him eat his supper; he will throw up as soon as he lies down for bed because he has a virus.
-That if my child is going to get sick, it will happen minutes after I fall asleep.
-Related principle about sleep: If I need a nap and can fit it in, I might as well take one because I am probably going to be up all night with a sick child anyway.
-Anything embarrassing I do, will happen in front of my children and, before the day is over, be repeated to the last person on earth I want to know about it.
-I can get revenge because I will still be telling embarrassing stories about them when they are 20. After I turn fifty, the revenge principle expires because by then I will be too forgetful to remember which child did what.
-That when I finally get a spare moment, I’ll be saying, “Now who are the people in this picture? Are you sure that young woman was me?” and “My goodness, you all looked alike when you were babies!”
So, to all those moms who are in the toddler years, keep up the good work. It is back-breaking, fast-paced, exhausting work interspersed with brief quiet moments of divine bliss.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family and when she grows up, she hopes to be a grandmother. She can be reached at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Chauvinism vs. Chivalry
Raising boys is really tricky. Particularly for a mom who never happened to ever be a boy herself. Don’t ya just find it hard to relate to your son’s needs and wants?
I never once in all my life felt the need to roll around with a bunch of other boys, like puppies, wrastlin’ and barkin’.
I never once thought that digging a 6x6 foot hole in the back yard was a terrific way to spend the afternoon.
Also, showering was a regular part of my daily hygiene, not a weekly event brought on after much cajoling and bribing.
Still, as unsuited as I am, I find myself raising this remarkable boy who is minutes away from being a man.
So, how do you figure out which things are gonna matter when he’s grown?
Here are a couple of principles that seem to matter at our house.
-What’s the difference between a bully and a pest? Size, that’s all.
A small boy who annoyingly taps your shoulder to get your attention is a pest, even if he is frustrated. Give that same boy a few years, a few pounds, and a few feet of growth and you have a bully. Especially if he happens to be frustrated when he is trying to get your attention.
Little gals tend to get away with provocative behaviors because they tend to stay smaller than their male counterparts.
Have you noticed that there are whole curriculums directed at bullying now? My thought is the behaviors are a lot easier to catch and correct when the guys, or gals, are still small people.
-What the difference between chauvinism vs. chivalry? Insecurity that’s all.
It is not strength, but insecurity, that makes a man feel the need to dominate the people around him.
On the other hand, a confident, chivalrous man is aware of his strength and alert for opportunities to serve others. I’m not talking about just opening doors here folks.
Insecurity turns out to be a big thing in determining the way a man, or a woman for that matter, will act.
Male or Female, insecurity has a knack for making us do really dumb stuff in our relationships.
So, how do we cure our sons of insecurity? How do we point them in the right direction?
I suspect that the simple answer is to encourage him to do the hard stuff. Conquering fear and insecurity builds confidence.
Easy to say, as a mom, a lot harder to do.
I’m always on the look-out for good suggestions when it comes to raising boys, folks, so I hope you’ll write in and share what experience has taught you.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
I never once in all my life felt the need to roll around with a bunch of other boys, like puppies, wrastlin’ and barkin’.
I never once thought that digging a 6x6 foot hole in the back yard was a terrific way to spend the afternoon.
Also, showering was a regular part of my daily hygiene, not a weekly event brought on after much cajoling and bribing.
Still, as unsuited as I am, I find myself raising this remarkable boy who is minutes away from being a man.
So, how do you figure out which things are gonna matter when he’s grown?
Here are a couple of principles that seem to matter at our house.
-What’s the difference between a bully and a pest? Size, that’s all.
A small boy who annoyingly taps your shoulder to get your attention is a pest, even if he is frustrated. Give that same boy a few years, a few pounds, and a few feet of growth and you have a bully. Especially if he happens to be frustrated when he is trying to get your attention.
Little gals tend to get away with provocative behaviors because they tend to stay smaller than their male counterparts.
Have you noticed that there are whole curriculums directed at bullying now? My thought is the behaviors are a lot easier to catch and correct when the guys, or gals, are still small people.
-What the difference between chauvinism vs. chivalry? Insecurity that’s all.
It is not strength, but insecurity, that makes a man feel the need to dominate the people around him.
On the other hand, a confident, chivalrous man is aware of his strength and alert for opportunities to serve others. I’m not talking about just opening doors here folks.
Insecurity turns out to be a big thing in determining the way a man, or a woman for that matter, will act.
Male or Female, insecurity has a knack for making us do really dumb stuff in our relationships.
So, how do we cure our sons of insecurity? How do we point them in the right direction?
I suspect that the simple answer is to encourage him to do the hard stuff. Conquering fear and insecurity builds confidence.
Easy to say, as a mom, a lot harder to do.
I’m always on the look-out for good suggestions when it comes to raising boys, folks, so I hope you’ll write in and share what experience has taught you.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Adam Goofed
“This woman YOU gave me…” Adam said and thus began the problem all men face even up until, yes you heard it right here folks, yep, right up until this very day.
Men just love to blame their wives.
Adam was even trickier than most because he managed to blame God in the same sentence. Wow! You have to admire his downright audacity.
Of course, a lot of men end up with ex-wives which is convenient if you are looking for some one else to blame. It takes all the pressure off the new wife. Or girlfriend.
I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Adam had responded differently.
“Eve, what in the world were you thinking? Hurry, let’s go straight to God and find out what can be done to remedy this situation! Why would you listen to the enemy of your soul, anyway, honey?”
I am trying to imagine the scene. God gently, but firmly loving Eve into a better understanding of His Character as the Truth Teller. And gently explaining to Adam that he better pay attention because Eve was the weaker vessel, meaning the more easily tempted to believe false stuff.
Hmm…now there’s a sermon most preachers might be afraid to preach on Sunday morning. At least the preachers that want their lunch cooked for them after church. Oh, excuse me; no one cooks Sunday lunch anymore, anyway.
I don’t cook, so don’t look at me.
I get the part where Eve listened to the wrong person. The part I don’t get is where was Adam while all this was happening.
I figure God built Eve with all the interesting parts designed to hold a man’s attention, so Adam really doesn’t have any excuse for being distracted. I mean there were lots of critters in the garden, but nobody quite like Eve, as Adam readily pointed out himself when he first caught sight of this fascinating new creature made out of his rib
What man fails to notice when some other dude is moving in on his territory? Let alone the lying enemy of her soul. And his.
My question is what if.
What if Adam hadn’t joined her and then blamed her?
What if, Adam had brought her to God for a remedy?
Would God have given Adam the privilege of preparing the sacrifice for her and covering his beloved mate with animal skins?
I guess some poor ole husband down the line would have forfeited his position as protector, defender, and advocate at some point eventually, but what if….
What if, in your home today, the husband decides to be the one who brings his wife to God, instead of blaming her? What kind of power would be released in your home today?
What if….
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas, a garden paradise. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Men just love to blame their wives.
Adam was even trickier than most because he managed to blame God in the same sentence. Wow! You have to admire his downright audacity.
Of course, a lot of men end up with ex-wives which is convenient if you are looking for some one else to blame. It takes all the pressure off the new wife. Or girlfriend.
I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Adam had responded differently.
“Eve, what in the world were you thinking? Hurry, let’s go straight to God and find out what can be done to remedy this situation! Why would you listen to the enemy of your soul, anyway, honey?”
I am trying to imagine the scene. God gently, but firmly loving Eve into a better understanding of His Character as the Truth Teller. And gently explaining to Adam that he better pay attention because Eve was the weaker vessel, meaning the more easily tempted to believe false stuff.
Hmm…now there’s a sermon most preachers might be afraid to preach on Sunday morning. At least the preachers that want their lunch cooked for them after church. Oh, excuse me; no one cooks Sunday lunch anymore, anyway.
I don’t cook, so don’t look at me.
I get the part where Eve listened to the wrong person. The part I don’t get is where was Adam while all this was happening.
I figure God built Eve with all the interesting parts designed to hold a man’s attention, so Adam really doesn’t have any excuse for being distracted. I mean there were lots of critters in the garden, but nobody quite like Eve, as Adam readily pointed out himself when he first caught sight of this fascinating new creature made out of his rib
What man fails to notice when some other dude is moving in on his territory? Let alone the lying enemy of her soul. And his.
My question is what if.
What if Adam hadn’t joined her and then blamed her?
What if, Adam had brought her to God for a remedy?
Would God have given Adam the privilege of preparing the sacrifice for her and covering his beloved mate with animal skins?
I guess some poor ole husband down the line would have forfeited his position as protector, defender, and advocate at some point eventually, but what if….
What if, in your home today, the husband decides to be the one who brings his wife to God, instead of blaming her? What kind of power would be released in your home today?
What if….
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas, a garden paradise. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Managing Your Wife by Way of Proverbs 31
Women of the world, raise your hand if you feel overwhelmed every time Proverbs 31 comes up.
There ought to be a law against even mentioning Proverbs 31 around mothers of small children.
I don’t know about you, but I always viewed Proverbs 31 as some sort of foreboding checklist of things I would never be able to live up to.
Especially, in those years when I had two little toddlers spilling junk on my floor and enthusiastically playing in the sand pile. Forget a clean house or fixing meals, a good day for me was just getting all three of us into something besides pajamas.
I have friends who still kid me about always seeing my children in either pajamas or dress-up clothes at the grocery store.
The truth is we only went to the grocery store because we were tired of subsisting on a strictly peanut butter and jelly diet. Forget “bringing her food from afar.” We just finally ran out of peanut butter.
On the other hand, I understood the part of Proverbs 31 that says “she rises up while it is yet night” because I’m pretty sure I never slept while the kids were toddlers.
Even with the kids grown, I’m still not at the point where “she plants the vineyard.” Most certainly, I will never plant a vineyard.
If you are way past the small children stage and still intimidated by the thought of Proverbs 31, you are going to love this.
It occurred to me recently that Proverbs 31 was not written to women.
In media, we always consider our primary target audience. Of course, it is nice if you scoop up a few folks outside your target, but writers always keep their primary audience in mind.
Proverbs 31:1 tells us that these are the words which King Lemuel’s mom taught him. I kinda wonder where his dad was. On the other hand, I suspect Lemuel’s mom would have gotten along just fine in Texas. She seems like our kinda gal.
The point is Proverbs 31 was written for men. That seems like really excellent info to pass along to a son.
Hmm…how’d I miss that sermon!
It’s the sermon that should be titled, Men, How to Manage Your Wife in 21 Quick and Not-So-Easy Verses. Or, Men, How to Avoid Marrying a Shrew. Or, How to Encourage Your Wife to Her Full Potential. Or, How to Have Happy Children.
I hear Proverbs 31 men all the time speaking the things that encourage their wife to reach her full potential and I suspect those wives are Proverbs 31 kind of gals. It always blesses me.
In East Texas there are lots of folks with an opinion about the Bible. Let me hear from you. If anything enlightening comes in, folks, you’ll be the first to know. And thanks for reading.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
There ought to be a law against even mentioning Proverbs 31 around mothers of small children.
I don’t know about you, but I always viewed Proverbs 31 as some sort of foreboding checklist of things I would never be able to live up to.
Especially, in those years when I had two little toddlers spilling junk on my floor and enthusiastically playing in the sand pile. Forget a clean house or fixing meals, a good day for me was just getting all three of us into something besides pajamas.
I have friends who still kid me about always seeing my children in either pajamas or dress-up clothes at the grocery store.
The truth is we only went to the grocery store because we were tired of subsisting on a strictly peanut butter and jelly diet. Forget “bringing her food from afar.” We just finally ran out of peanut butter.
On the other hand, I understood the part of Proverbs 31 that says “she rises up while it is yet night” because I’m pretty sure I never slept while the kids were toddlers.
Even with the kids grown, I’m still not at the point where “she plants the vineyard.” Most certainly, I will never plant a vineyard.
If you are way past the small children stage and still intimidated by the thought of Proverbs 31, you are going to love this.
It occurred to me recently that Proverbs 31 was not written to women.
In media, we always consider our primary target audience. Of course, it is nice if you scoop up a few folks outside your target, but writers always keep their primary audience in mind.
Proverbs 31:1 tells us that these are the words which King Lemuel’s mom taught him. I kinda wonder where his dad was. On the other hand, I suspect Lemuel’s mom would have gotten along just fine in Texas. She seems like our kinda gal.
The point is Proverbs 31 was written for men. That seems like really excellent info to pass along to a son.
Hmm…how’d I miss that sermon!
It’s the sermon that should be titled, Men, How to Manage Your Wife in 21 Quick and Not-So-Easy Verses. Or, Men, How to Avoid Marrying a Shrew. Or, How to Encourage Your Wife to Her Full Potential. Or, How to Have Happy Children.
I hear Proverbs 31 men all the time speaking the things that encourage their wife to reach her full potential and I suspect those wives are Proverbs 31 kind of gals. It always blesses me.
In East Texas there are lots of folks with an opinion about the Bible. Let me hear from you. If anything enlightening comes in, folks, you’ll be the first to know. And thanks for reading.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Hospital Help Checklist
The first rule of helping friends at the hospital is: “Take Care of the Caretaker.” The patient is being cared for by a world of professional folks, like doctors and nurses, plus family.
On the other hand, the primary caretaker, usually the spouse or a grown child of the patient, is feeling the full effect of the crisis.
Is there any chance their work and normal activities will wait? It sure doesn’t feel like it at the time! That abrupt change of schedule and lifestyle means you have a person with considerable overload.
So, what can you do to help?
-Long visits or too many visitors is exhausting for everyone. Do not interrupt if the patient is asleep, just ease out quietly and leave a note for later. If the patient is imposed upon and worn out, then you put the caretaker in the awkward position of having to get rid of you. Definitely not helpful. A quick hug or hello is encouraging.
- Do not bring a death-watch mentality with you. Don’t drop everything and rush to be by their side because you think the person is about to die. Instead focus on having a close relationship all the time so you will be at peace when your friend actually does die, which is sure to happen eventually to all of us anyway. Say the loving, important things each time you are together, rather than burdening the family with your guilty conscience during a crisis.
-Prayer should be discreet rather than an opportunity to pass along the latest news. It is best to use first names only, or better yet, pray in your own prayer closet and do not take it upon yourself to pass along the request. Let the family ask for prayer from the people they trust. Too much attention can mean there will be too many visitors. Too many visitors can actually work against recovery, the very thing you are praying for.
-If you are there to help, do not take over. When a person arrives at the hospital to help, it is tempting to play the role of hero; the guy who rushes in from somewhere else to fix the problem.
Okay, I know I sound grumpy when I should be thankful for my fellow-members of the B Team, that team of close friends who are there to support the patient and the main caregiver. But there is nothing worse than someone who comes to take the next shift and just stirs up a lot of commotion.
So who makes a good teammate?
-First and foremost, patient doctors who know what they are doing and are secure and patient enough to listen and hear the patient and caregiver when they speak.
-Next, nurses who are tender, competent, and professional. They are an incredible encouragement both to the patient and to the caregiver.
-Family members that come to help and blend in.
-Friends who take the time to write a cheerful, funny, affectionate note.
-Close friends that can stop by for a happy, short visit when the patient is feeling well enough to be bored. Did I mention short? Oh, yes, short. That’s important.
-Close friends who can water the caregiver’s plants, feed the pets, pick up the newspaper and mail, arrange to have the lawn mowed, or make sure the laundry gets done.
-One administrative-type friend who will organize a casserole committee to see that there is food in the days after the patient gets home. Bring food every other day, not daily, because too much food just gets thrown away or clutters the fridge, creating another task.
Here in East Texas, there is a long tradition of coming to the aid of our neighbors.
You can’t help but notice it when you spend a few days at the hospital.
Yep, East Texans are some neighborly folks.
Which reminds me, our list of favorite charities is coming up just in time for holiday giving, so now is the time to send me your favorites. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, spent her childhood in East Texas where she enjoyed the benefit of family and friends who demonstrated the finer points of being neighborly. She welcomes all comments at CaeKrafve2@aol.com
On the other hand, the primary caretaker, usually the spouse or a grown child of the patient, is feeling the full effect of the crisis.
Is there any chance their work and normal activities will wait? It sure doesn’t feel like it at the time! That abrupt change of schedule and lifestyle means you have a person with considerable overload.
So, what can you do to help?
-Long visits or too many visitors is exhausting for everyone. Do not interrupt if the patient is asleep, just ease out quietly and leave a note for later. If the patient is imposed upon and worn out, then you put the caretaker in the awkward position of having to get rid of you. Definitely not helpful. A quick hug or hello is encouraging.
- Do not bring a death-watch mentality with you. Don’t drop everything and rush to be by their side because you think the person is about to die. Instead focus on having a close relationship all the time so you will be at peace when your friend actually does die, which is sure to happen eventually to all of us anyway. Say the loving, important things each time you are together, rather than burdening the family with your guilty conscience during a crisis.
-Prayer should be discreet rather than an opportunity to pass along the latest news. It is best to use first names only, or better yet, pray in your own prayer closet and do not take it upon yourself to pass along the request. Let the family ask for prayer from the people they trust. Too much attention can mean there will be too many visitors. Too many visitors can actually work against recovery, the very thing you are praying for.
-If you are there to help, do not take over. When a person arrives at the hospital to help, it is tempting to play the role of hero; the guy who rushes in from somewhere else to fix the problem.
Okay, I know I sound grumpy when I should be thankful for my fellow-members of the B Team, that team of close friends who are there to support the patient and the main caregiver. But there is nothing worse than someone who comes to take the next shift and just stirs up a lot of commotion.
So who makes a good teammate?
-First and foremost, patient doctors who know what they are doing and are secure and patient enough to listen and hear the patient and caregiver when they speak.
-Next, nurses who are tender, competent, and professional. They are an incredible encouragement both to the patient and to the caregiver.
-Family members that come to help and blend in.
-Friends who take the time to write a cheerful, funny, affectionate note.
-Close friends that can stop by for a happy, short visit when the patient is feeling well enough to be bored. Did I mention short? Oh, yes, short. That’s important.
-Close friends who can water the caregiver’s plants, feed the pets, pick up the newspaper and mail, arrange to have the lawn mowed, or make sure the laundry gets done.
-One administrative-type friend who will organize a casserole committee to see that there is food in the days after the patient gets home. Bring food every other day, not daily, because too much food just gets thrown away or clutters the fridge, creating another task.
Here in East Texas, there is a long tradition of coming to the aid of our neighbors.
You can’t help but notice it when you spend a few days at the hospital.
Yep, East Texans are some neighborly folks.
Which reminds me, our list of favorite charities is coming up just in time for holiday giving, so now is the time to send me your favorites. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, spent her childhood in East Texas where she enjoyed the benefit of family and friends who demonstrated the finer points of being neighborly. She welcomes all comments at CaeKrafve2@aol.com
Hospital Gift Checklist
The hospital has become something of a sanctuary for me; a place of worship; a portal, if you will, between earth and eternity.
If the hospital is a holy temple, then the men and women who work there are the priests, overseeing the rituals involved as some souls enter this world in tiny, new bodies and some souls exit.
Then, there are the souls in ICU, hovering, as if trying to decide if staying in this dominion is worth the effort to get better.
I spent last week bedside in ICU at ETMC with a beloved friend who was hovering. I was not the primary caregiver, just part of the B Team, a small circle of family and friends trying to help.
Watching my friend and her husband cope with the crisis reminded me of how important help is in life’s critical moments.
So, today’s list is tips for bringing the right gifts to the hospital.
-Flowers seem like the perfect thing, but actually, they are a bad choice. Space is limited and vases just create a task for family after the flowers are gone. Besides, the patient may be more sensitive to smells than usual and your flowers may get thrown away as soon as you walk out the door. Anyway, you don’t want the room to feel like a funeral parlor. It is better to bring a small, bright poster that can be taped to the wall to brighten the room. Better yet, bring a stack of pictures from the most recent fun event before the crisis. Pictures give the patient and caretaker a starting point for happy conversation at a time when everyone is trying not to worry. They even give the patient something to talk about with the next round of visitors.
-Food is trickier than you would think. For instance, baskets take up space, so small gift bags are preferable because they can be thrown away or folded, saved and used to carry stuff home from the hospital. Individually wrapped servings are best, even though you would think that the vending machine snacks would suffice. Actually, the snacks in the vending machines are just what a caretaker or patient does not need; sugary or salty treats, loaded with carbs and fat. Our favorite gift last week was zip lock bag with one apple, one perfect pear, and a throw-away paring knife. The knife was the big ticket item because we had been wishing for a knife but forgetting to bring one from home.
-Speaking of vending machines, I would have loved a handful of quarters last week and I kept forgetting to go by the bank. Next time you are at the hospital, just empty your pocket of any quarters or one dollar bills and leave them so the family will have change for the vending machines or the parking lots.
-Travel toiletries are a huge benefit because invariably one of us would forget a toothbrush. Sometimes it becomes necessary to spend the night on a cot next to the patient without any time to make plans. A gift bag with toothbrushes, small toothpastes, deodorants, mouthwash, sugar-free breath mints, gum, individually wrapped antibacterial wipes, nail clippers, and chap stick is sure to be a hit. It’s amazing how much fresh breath does to make a person feel more human again. Painting the patient’s fingernail can be a morale boost, if you bring a pale, pastel polish and have time to do it yourself, but be sensitive to the patient because it could be bad timing.
-Entertainment items can be just the thing if you know the patient and the caretaker well enough to know what they like to do. The problem is that when a person is in the hospital, they are often so tired or depressed that they don’t feel like doing their normal hobbies. On the other hand, hours of boredom are not exactly life-affirming.
Here are my best universal ideas for that patient and caretaker that you know and love: water colors or crayon, acrylics and canvas boards with paint brushes, cross word puzzle books, audio books and a small player, or magazines.
-A nice, long novel with a light-weight plot and a happy ending is a good choice for the caretaker, but usually the patient is too worn out to read. Reading out loud to the patient can be a thoughtful gesture, if you choose something that is not brooding or overly spiritual.
Remember that laughter is good medicine and you will probably make the right choice.
-An hour of your time. All visits should be five minutes or less, except when you are a close enough friend to give the caretaker an hour off, or even the whole afternoon off. There is nothing like a nice long nap at home when you have been bedside in ICU for days. Time to run to the bank, pay bills, get a haircut, or attend a regular evening meeting or Sunday morning church service can be the best gift of all.
Next week, I’ll list the things folks can do that will be of real help and the things that inadvertently make matters worse.
Also, don’t forget that our list of favorite charities is coming up just in time for holiday giving, so now is the time to send me your favorites. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas, an area known for its excellent medical facilities and health care professionals.
If the hospital is a holy temple, then the men and women who work there are the priests, overseeing the rituals involved as some souls enter this world in tiny, new bodies and some souls exit.
Then, there are the souls in ICU, hovering, as if trying to decide if staying in this dominion is worth the effort to get better.
I spent last week bedside in ICU at ETMC with a beloved friend who was hovering. I was not the primary caregiver, just part of the B Team, a small circle of family and friends trying to help.
Watching my friend and her husband cope with the crisis reminded me of how important help is in life’s critical moments.
So, today’s list is tips for bringing the right gifts to the hospital.
-Flowers seem like the perfect thing, but actually, they are a bad choice. Space is limited and vases just create a task for family after the flowers are gone. Besides, the patient may be more sensitive to smells than usual and your flowers may get thrown away as soon as you walk out the door. Anyway, you don’t want the room to feel like a funeral parlor. It is better to bring a small, bright poster that can be taped to the wall to brighten the room. Better yet, bring a stack of pictures from the most recent fun event before the crisis. Pictures give the patient and caretaker a starting point for happy conversation at a time when everyone is trying not to worry. They even give the patient something to talk about with the next round of visitors.
-Food is trickier than you would think. For instance, baskets take up space, so small gift bags are preferable because they can be thrown away or folded, saved and used to carry stuff home from the hospital. Individually wrapped servings are best, even though you would think that the vending machine snacks would suffice. Actually, the snacks in the vending machines are just what a caretaker or patient does not need; sugary or salty treats, loaded with carbs and fat. Our favorite gift last week was zip lock bag with one apple, one perfect pear, and a throw-away paring knife. The knife was the big ticket item because we had been wishing for a knife but forgetting to bring one from home.
-Speaking of vending machines, I would have loved a handful of quarters last week and I kept forgetting to go by the bank. Next time you are at the hospital, just empty your pocket of any quarters or one dollar bills and leave them so the family will have change for the vending machines or the parking lots.
-Travel toiletries are a huge benefit because invariably one of us would forget a toothbrush. Sometimes it becomes necessary to spend the night on a cot next to the patient without any time to make plans. A gift bag with toothbrushes, small toothpastes, deodorants, mouthwash, sugar-free breath mints, gum, individually wrapped antibacterial wipes, nail clippers, and chap stick is sure to be a hit. It’s amazing how much fresh breath does to make a person feel more human again. Painting the patient’s fingernail can be a morale boost, if you bring a pale, pastel polish and have time to do it yourself, but be sensitive to the patient because it could be bad timing.
-Entertainment items can be just the thing if you know the patient and the caretaker well enough to know what they like to do. The problem is that when a person is in the hospital, they are often so tired or depressed that they don’t feel like doing their normal hobbies. On the other hand, hours of boredom are not exactly life-affirming.
Here are my best universal ideas for that patient and caretaker that you know and love: water colors or crayon, acrylics and canvas boards with paint brushes, cross word puzzle books, audio books and a small player, or magazines.
-A nice, long novel with a light-weight plot and a happy ending is a good choice for the caretaker, but usually the patient is too worn out to read. Reading out loud to the patient can be a thoughtful gesture, if you choose something that is not brooding or overly spiritual.
Remember that laughter is good medicine and you will probably make the right choice.
-An hour of your time. All visits should be five minutes or less, except when you are a close enough friend to give the caretaker an hour off, or even the whole afternoon off. There is nothing like a nice long nap at home when you have been bedside in ICU for days. Time to run to the bank, pay bills, get a haircut, or attend a regular evening meeting or Sunday morning church service can be the best gift of all.
Next week, I’ll list the things folks can do that will be of real help and the things that inadvertently make matters worse.
Also, don’t forget that our list of favorite charities is coming up just in time for holiday giving, so now is the time to send me your favorites. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas, an area known for its excellent medical facilities and health care professionals.
Reader Adds Ideas for Hospital Help
I love it when I hear from readers, so here’s a little something from my email box.
“Dear Checklist Charlie, I appreciated reading your recent article about hospital visits. I volunteer at Huguley Hospital in Ft. Worth and am always interested in a subject that relates to my work.
I enjoyed your many ideas of what to bring when you visit someone in the hospital. I really had never thought of the photograph idea, but thought that was a
wonderful way to bring joy to someone by having familiar pictures to comfort them.
I also thought of a few other good ideas that I would like to share with your readers.
-If someone has been unable to attend church service, they would probably enjoy a bulletin from the services they've missed.
-We have some friends who bring songbooks from the church and sing in the room. I've always thought that I would like fellow Christians to sing with me if I were in the hospital.
Thank you so very much for all of your thoughts. I look forward to your next article. Sincerely, Leslie Jones, Ft. Worth, TX”
Okay, this is Cathy again. It is only fair that I report that Leslie is one of my beloved cousins. Yes, we were raised by brothers who were both medical doctors, so that explains why we tend to get opinionated when it comes to hospitals.
When Leslie read my hospital columns, she asked me why I didn’t include more about how comforting prayer is.
She has a point about prayer, doesn’t she?
So here are a few thoughts I can express briefly about prayer.
-I’ve noticed that when I offer to pray for people, they always say yes. Whether they are in the hospital or not. I’m talking about complete strangers. Does that surprise you as much as it does me?
-I’ve also noticed that certain people are very effective when they pray. When I finally get desperate enough to remember to ask them for prayer I am amazed at how quickly I see change developing.
-Last time I had a close friend in the hospital, we had so many people praying that we lost track of them all. We felt like it was effective. I take that to mean that we were praying toward the very thing that God was intending to do.
It is the holidays, but illnesses don’t seem to care what day of the year it is.
If you are reading this as you wait for the doctor to stop by your room, I hope there is comfort for you somewhere in between the lines.
If you are one of the hard-working men and women that keep our hospitals staffed 365 days a year, thank you. May the Lord return your goodness and kindness back to you by blessing you and your family.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is spending this holiday with her family in her very favorite vacation spot in the whole world, beautiful East Texas. She welcomes all lists and comments at CaeKrafve2@aol.com
“Dear Checklist Charlie, I appreciated reading your recent article about hospital visits. I volunteer at Huguley Hospital in Ft. Worth and am always interested in a subject that relates to my work.
I enjoyed your many ideas of what to bring when you visit someone in the hospital. I really had never thought of the photograph idea, but thought that was a
wonderful way to bring joy to someone by having familiar pictures to comfort them.
I also thought of a few other good ideas that I would like to share with your readers.
-If someone has been unable to attend church service, they would probably enjoy a bulletin from the services they've missed.
-We have some friends who bring songbooks from the church and sing in the room. I've always thought that I would like fellow Christians to sing with me if I were in the hospital.
Thank you so very much for all of your thoughts. I look forward to your next article. Sincerely, Leslie Jones, Ft. Worth, TX”
Okay, this is Cathy again. It is only fair that I report that Leslie is one of my beloved cousins. Yes, we were raised by brothers who were both medical doctors, so that explains why we tend to get opinionated when it comes to hospitals.
When Leslie read my hospital columns, she asked me why I didn’t include more about how comforting prayer is.
She has a point about prayer, doesn’t she?
So here are a few thoughts I can express briefly about prayer.
-I’ve noticed that when I offer to pray for people, they always say yes. Whether they are in the hospital or not. I’m talking about complete strangers. Does that surprise you as much as it does me?
-I’ve also noticed that certain people are very effective when they pray. When I finally get desperate enough to remember to ask them for prayer I am amazed at how quickly I see change developing.
-Last time I had a close friend in the hospital, we had so many people praying that we lost track of them all. We felt like it was effective. I take that to mean that we were praying toward the very thing that God was intending to do.
It is the holidays, but illnesses don’t seem to care what day of the year it is.
If you are reading this as you wait for the doctor to stop by your room, I hope there is comfort for you somewhere in between the lines.
If you are one of the hard-working men and women that keep our hospitals staffed 365 days a year, thank you. May the Lord return your goodness and kindness back to you by blessing you and your family.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is spending this holiday with her family in her very favorite vacation spot in the whole world, beautiful East Texas. She welcomes all lists and comments at CaeKrafve2@aol.com
Valentine Grandparents
Have you noticed that Christmas has instantaneously evaporated from the stores, replaced by heart-shaped boxes of chocolate?
Yes, the merchants are hoping to evoke loving emotions that translate into bucks spent on candy and flowers. I don’t begrudge them their enterprise; I’m a big fan of capitalism.
But for some reason, the heart-shaped bearers of temptation don’t remind me of my true love.
They remind me of my mom. I’m not sure what that tells you about my childhood, except that women who love chocolate is hereditary in our family.
Seeing red and pink hearts in all the stores fills me with love and appreciation for the two women who have been irreplaceable in raising my children: their two grandmothers.
I asked my oldest child what advise she would give grandparents.
“Just ask them,” she responded with authority.
“Huh?”
Grandkids can always say no, but she advises grandparents to ask their grandkids to do anything together, no matter how silly you may think it sounds.
Then she listed all the things she had experienced because her grandparents invited her along in their life.
-Cultural events, like symphonies, ballets, plays, and operas
-US political process, by way of Smith County Party Conventions, and Women Voters meetings, not to mention meeting candidates in person
-Sporting events, including little league games and football on TV
-Travel, like the trip to Disney World or Europe
-Skills, like vegetable gardening, woodworking, knitting, quilting, praying, bible studying
-Community Service, like fundraising, performing for civic functions, and participating in event planning
The list was extensive.
My daughter said it never occurred to her that one of these activities would be boring or tedious, because her grandparents had spoiled her rotten as long as she could remember. Any invitation with them had an instant appeal.
Pretty sweet stuff.
We always reap what we sow.
In recent years, my grown daughters have returned the favor by inviting their grandparents on adventures. Like the trip to New York that the two granddaughters talked their two grandmothers into, making it a grand foursome.
So, while for some reason, I can’t ever seem to remember Grandparents’ Day, Valentines Day always makes me think of two very special women, my children’s grandmothers.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives with her family in the beautiful woods of East Texas. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Yes, the merchants are hoping to evoke loving emotions that translate into bucks spent on candy and flowers. I don’t begrudge them their enterprise; I’m a big fan of capitalism.
But for some reason, the heart-shaped bearers of temptation don’t remind me of my true love.
They remind me of my mom. I’m not sure what that tells you about my childhood, except that women who love chocolate is hereditary in our family.
Seeing red and pink hearts in all the stores fills me with love and appreciation for the two women who have been irreplaceable in raising my children: their two grandmothers.
I asked my oldest child what advise she would give grandparents.
“Just ask them,” she responded with authority.
“Huh?”
Grandkids can always say no, but she advises grandparents to ask their grandkids to do anything together, no matter how silly you may think it sounds.
Then she listed all the things she had experienced because her grandparents invited her along in their life.
-Cultural events, like symphonies, ballets, plays, and operas
-US political process, by way of Smith County Party Conventions, and Women Voters meetings, not to mention meeting candidates in person
-Sporting events, including little league games and football on TV
-Travel, like the trip to Disney World or Europe
-Skills, like vegetable gardening, woodworking, knitting, quilting, praying, bible studying
-Community Service, like fundraising, performing for civic functions, and participating in event planning
The list was extensive.
My daughter said it never occurred to her that one of these activities would be boring or tedious, because her grandparents had spoiled her rotten as long as she could remember. Any invitation with them had an instant appeal.
Pretty sweet stuff.
We always reap what we sow.
In recent years, my grown daughters have returned the favor by inviting their grandparents on adventures. Like the trip to New York that the two granddaughters talked their two grandmothers into, making it a grand foursome.
So, while for some reason, I can’t ever seem to remember Grandparents’ Day, Valentines Day always makes me think of two very special women, my children’s grandmothers.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives with her family in the beautiful woods of East Texas. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Grandparenting the Merry Way
“You have fan mail.”
I opened the envelope and read the first line and almost swooned.
“I always enjoy reading your column…,” the note began.
“Someone is reading my column! I have at least one reader!” I skipped around the office, jumping, doing a victory dance with my mail in the air.
“Better look for the ‘but.’ Those notes always have a ‘but’.”
Oh.
I made someone else read it. I couldn’t stand the suspense.
It turns out that my dear friend, Merry Jayne Davis, of Bullard, was writing to suggest that I do a series on grandparenting.
So I did, even though I don’t have grandkids yet. I wrote three articles anyway.
Grandparenting is a fun subject, so I was tickled when Merry Jayne emailed me her ideas about grandparenting since she actually has grandkids.
If you know Merry Jayne, then you know I spelled her name correctly.
If you know her mom, then you know that she was prophetic when she decided to spell her infant daughter’s name that way.
Merry Jayne has a knack for turning normal daily events into joyous celebrations of love. It could be her terrific sense of humor or that ready smile.
According to Merry Jayne, there are many ways to stay close to your grandchildren. Here are just a few of hers:
- Pray for them and ask them to pray for you.
- Edify them. Build them up, help strengthen their self image.
- Communication, keep the lines open.
- Take time to have fun with them.
- Start a college fund for them.
She tells me that she asked one of her granddaughters for her favorite thing about grandparents and she said she liked being invited over, doing projects, and the trips.
But most of all the love.
Speaking as a parent, I really like her idea about the college fund.
Not only do the grandkids have some extra cash for college, but they also get the message that education is important.
Also, I’m thankful for anyone who reminds me to pray.
We get moving so quickly in life that prayer is sometimes the first thing we forget. Ironic, too, since it is often the most effective way to prioritize your life.
Merry Jayne’s note doesn’t actually qualify as fan mail, since we have known each other for years. Plus, she introduced me to my husband.
Still, what a blessing for all of us that this kind lady took the time to put her insights on paper!
I’m filing her advice away under “Future Dreams.”
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments, help, thoughts, corrections, ideas, and especially lists at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
I opened the envelope and read the first line and almost swooned.
“I always enjoy reading your column…,” the note began.
“Someone is reading my column! I have at least one reader!” I skipped around the office, jumping, doing a victory dance with my mail in the air.
“Better look for the ‘but.’ Those notes always have a ‘but’.”
Oh.
I made someone else read it. I couldn’t stand the suspense.
It turns out that my dear friend, Merry Jayne Davis, of Bullard, was writing to suggest that I do a series on grandparenting.
So I did, even though I don’t have grandkids yet. I wrote three articles anyway.
Grandparenting is a fun subject, so I was tickled when Merry Jayne emailed me her ideas about grandparenting since she actually has grandkids.
If you know Merry Jayne, then you know I spelled her name correctly.
If you know her mom, then you know that she was prophetic when she decided to spell her infant daughter’s name that way.
Merry Jayne has a knack for turning normal daily events into joyous celebrations of love. It could be her terrific sense of humor or that ready smile.
According to Merry Jayne, there are many ways to stay close to your grandchildren. Here are just a few of hers:
- Pray for them and ask them to pray for you.
- Edify them. Build them up, help strengthen their self image.
- Communication, keep the lines open.
- Take time to have fun with them.
- Start a college fund for them.
She tells me that she asked one of her granddaughters for her favorite thing about grandparents and she said she liked being invited over, doing projects, and the trips.
But most of all the love.
Speaking as a parent, I really like her idea about the college fund.
Not only do the grandkids have some extra cash for college, but they also get the message that education is important.
Also, I’m thankful for anyone who reminds me to pray.
We get moving so quickly in life that prayer is sometimes the first thing we forget. Ironic, too, since it is often the most effective way to prioritize your life.
Merry Jayne’s note doesn’t actually qualify as fan mail, since we have known each other for years. Plus, she introduced me to my husband.
Still, what a blessing for all of us that this kind lady took the time to put her insights on paper!
I’m filing her advice away under “Future Dreams.”
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments, help, thoughts, corrections, ideas, and especially lists at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Grandparenting – More Merry
Today’s column is dedicated to all the terrific grandparents out there.
I am surrounded by people I trust to give me excellent advice on grandparenting, so I am taking careful notes and keeping my fingers crossed.
In the meantime, here are “Thoughts from a Grandmother” written by my friend, Merry Jayne Davis, of Bullard.
“After my children were married my prayers for them changed from finding the perfect mate, to the children that they would have; my grandchildren.
My prayer was that they would be healthy and have a heart for God.
As a parent I wanted to pass down my heritage of knowing God and having a relationship with Him to my children.
As a grandparent I desired to share the same treasures with my grandchildren. So, before they were born my prayers focused on them as well as their parents. My husband and I pray nightly for their future and protection.
What a blessing it is to know that someone loves you enough to pray for you!
-Pray for your grandchildren.
Pray for them and with them; at meals, bed time, when they have concerns.
- Make sure they know that you and God love them.
To let your grandchildren know that God cares for them you can have Bible Story movies available for them to watch. Bible books are good also.
Spend time talking to them. Give them al lot of hugs, kisses and let them know what a great person they are. I always tell mine that they are special.
I ask them if they know why they are special. The answer is because God made them that way and there is no one like them in the whole world. They are special!
-Communication.
Write and telephone your grandchildren. They love to hear from you. Send them little gifts.
Make plans with them for when you get together. Have projects ready for when they come to visit. Make cookies, art projects, and take nature walks.
- Teach them skills.
Sew, garden, art projects, sports, etc. These are great bonding times as well as giving them a feeling of accomplishment.
-Plan trips.
We go on a trip once a year with our grandchildren. They help to make the plans. We keep a journal as we travel about what we have done. Take a lot of pictures. They love to see themselves and remember the fun time they had.
Be creative with your time with your grandchildren. Make time with you a special time.”
Well, you can see why I value Merry Jayne’s advice. Who wouldn’t love to be her grandchild!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is currently helping plan her daughter’s wedding and hoping for future you-know-whats. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
I am surrounded by people I trust to give me excellent advice on grandparenting, so I am taking careful notes and keeping my fingers crossed.
In the meantime, here are “Thoughts from a Grandmother” written by my friend, Merry Jayne Davis, of Bullard.
“After my children were married my prayers for them changed from finding the perfect mate, to the children that they would have; my grandchildren.
My prayer was that they would be healthy and have a heart for God.
As a parent I wanted to pass down my heritage of knowing God and having a relationship with Him to my children.
As a grandparent I desired to share the same treasures with my grandchildren. So, before they were born my prayers focused on them as well as their parents. My husband and I pray nightly for their future and protection.
What a blessing it is to know that someone loves you enough to pray for you!
-Pray for your grandchildren.
Pray for them and with them; at meals, bed time, when they have concerns.
- Make sure they know that you and God love them.
To let your grandchildren know that God cares for them you can have Bible Story movies available for them to watch. Bible books are good also.
Spend time talking to them. Give them al lot of hugs, kisses and let them know what a great person they are. I always tell mine that they are special.
I ask them if they know why they are special. The answer is because God made them that way and there is no one like them in the whole world. They are special!
-Communication.
Write and telephone your grandchildren. They love to hear from you. Send them little gifts.
Make plans with them for when you get together. Have projects ready for when they come to visit. Make cookies, art projects, and take nature walks.
- Teach them skills.
Sew, garden, art projects, sports, etc. These are great bonding times as well as giving them a feeling of accomplishment.
-Plan trips.
We go on a trip once a year with our grandchildren. They help to make the plans. We keep a journal as we travel about what we have done. Take a lot of pictures. They love to see themselves and remember the fun time they had.
Be creative with your time with your grandchildren. Make time with you a special time.”
Well, you can see why I value Merry Jayne’s advice. Who wouldn’t love to be her grandchild!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, is currently helping plan her daughter’s wedding and hoping for future you-know-whats. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Grandparenting: Pipe Dope and Axle Grease Style
Pipe dope and axle grease. These are two phrases that never made it into our vocabulary when we were only raising girls.
For those who don’t know, pipe dope is not narcotics you smoke in a pipe. Thank heavens.
My son came home with pipe dope recently. He also brought home axle grease.
It seems he has been poling the retired engineers in the neighborhood for information about how to build a giant rocket. Helpfully, they have sent him home with all kinds of left-over metal tubes perfect for inspiring a young boy’s dreams.
I’m still not sure an axle grease gun is, but I know what it looks like. On my garage door. On the floor. On his clothes.
The other tube was as big as he is. I just hope he doesn’t try to launch himself.
My neighbors inspire me with their ability to encourage dreams in my son.
Seeking my own inspiration, I turned to my favorite eight-year-old expert, a lively young friend with a sharp wit and a delightful laugh.
Here’s her list on what grandmothers should know.
The first rule in buying gifts for your grandsons is to remember that boys like anything “Dangerous and Dirty.” Hmm…what an observant child!
She suggests buying grandsons “knives, guns, mud-proof swimming stuff, knives, guns, climbing stuff, knives, guns…pretty much knives and guns.” Oh, and we agree that grandparents should never give their grandsons a rope that could be used to tie up their sisters.
For girls, she suggests “tea cups, tiaras, and international dolls” for girls. She thinks collections are nice because having choices, particularly in which tiara to wear today, is a good thing.
“I like to tramp around in the woods,” she adds. I’m including that bit of information on her list because I suspect that the best gift you can give your grandkids is time together.
“Glittery dresses, cool jeans with sparkles, practically anything sparkly,” she says, “I like sparkly.” So do I, especially in little girls’ personalities.
Speaking of presents, a package arrived in the mail for my son recently from a kind cousin who understands boys. Inside was the “Dangerous Book for Boys.”
My son won’t let me near it.
“Mom, get this! On page 45 it tells the instructions for making a bomb,” he said with delight as we drove along the other day.
“Let me see that book,” I stammered as I grabbed at it, trying to keep my car on the rode.
“Gotcha!”
All I can say is, I certainly hope being a grandmother is less challenging than being a mom.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas where she is helping plan her daughter’s wedding and tactfully trying not to mention grandchildren. Contact her at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
For those who don’t know, pipe dope is not narcotics you smoke in a pipe. Thank heavens.
My son came home with pipe dope recently. He also brought home axle grease.
It seems he has been poling the retired engineers in the neighborhood for information about how to build a giant rocket. Helpfully, they have sent him home with all kinds of left-over metal tubes perfect for inspiring a young boy’s dreams.
I’m still not sure an axle grease gun is, but I know what it looks like. On my garage door. On the floor. On his clothes.
The other tube was as big as he is. I just hope he doesn’t try to launch himself.
My neighbors inspire me with their ability to encourage dreams in my son.
Seeking my own inspiration, I turned to my favorite eight-year-old expert, a lively young friend with a sharp wit and a delightful laugh.
Here’s her list on what grandmothers should know.
The first rule in buying gifts for your grandsons is to remember that boys like anything “Dangerous and Dirty.” Hmm…what an observant child!
She suggests buying grandsons “knives, guns, mud-proof swimming stuff, knives, guns, climbing stuff, knives, guns…pretty much knives and guns.” Oh, and we agree that grandparents should never give their grandsons a rope that could be used to tie up their sisters.
For girls, she suggests “tea cups, tiaras, and international dolls” for girls. She thinks collections are nice because having choices, particularly in which tiara to wear today, is a good thing.
“I like to tramp around in the woods,” she adds. I’m including that bit of information on her list because I suspect that the best gift you can give your grandkids is time together.
“Glittery dresses, cool jeans with sparkles, practically anything sparkly,” she says, “I like sparkly.” So do I, especially in little girls’ personalities.
Speaking of presents, a package arrived in the mail for my son recently from a kind cousin who understands boys. Inside was the “Dangerous Book for Boys.”
My son won’t let me near it.
“Mom, get this! On page 45 it tells the instructions for making a bomb,” he said with delight as we drove along the other day.
“Let me see that book,” I stammered as I grabbed at it, trying to keep my car on the rode.
“Gotcha!”
All I can say is, I certainly hope being a grandmother is less challenging than being a mom.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas where she is helping plan her daughter’s wedding and tactfully trying not to mention grandchildren. Contact her at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Ambitious Grandparenting
When I grow up, I’m going to be a grandparent. That’s my motto. My big ambition.
I habitually point out every baby in the grocery store, just in case my own children aren’t catching all my other subtle hints.
My husband encouraged me to stop making a fuss over babies since young moms might think I was some kind of stalker. Moms tend to smile nervously at me as I coo, then push their cart quickly away.
I also turn all mushy when I see grandparents out with their grandchildren.
Have you ever noticed how all grandparents say the same thing?
“Grandchildren are wonderful; you can spoil them and then give them back to their parents.”
I can’t wait.
In the meantime, I am gathering as many hints as I can from folks who seem to grandparent well. Here are the common themes:
-Have fun together. “You are my favorite person in the world to be with.”
-Be their confidante. “Yes, your mother drives me crazy, too, but please remember what a terrible mother she had.” Say that with a big smile and see how long it takes that sweet little one to figure out the joke.
-Back up the parents. “God will most certainly judge your parents some day, but in the meantime you should obey them and wait to see what happens next. I believe they have your best interests at heart. And who knows, maybe lightening will strike.” This happens to be my personal favorite.
-Encourage them. “You are amazing. I’ve never seen such a talented child. I am so proud of you.”
-Let them know that your love is unconditional. “All people make mistakes, darling.’ Think how ancient I am and just how many mistakes I’ve made. I have experience; I can help you with this.”
One grandmother told me years ago that she spent as much time as she could with her grandkids when they were little, so that they would listen to her when they reached the junior high years.
She opened up her home and her heart to those grandkids frequently over the years. Real frequently.
Guess what?
Now those grandkids are in high school and college and they call her to see if they can invite their friends over to her house. They’ve been having birthday and graduation parties at Nonny’s house lately; clean-cut affairs with water sports, but no alcohol.
I am inspired by her attitude.
Young people always bring energy, passion, and joy into our lives, not to mention a good laugh or two at the parents’ expense.
Sounds like a ton of fun for the ambitious grandparent.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments, suggestions, and lists at CAEKrafve2@aol.com
I habitually point out every baby in the grocery store, just in case my own children aren’t catching all my other subtle hints.
My husband encouraged me to stop making a fuss over babies since young moms might think I was some kind of stalker. Moms tend to smile nervously at me as I coo, then push their cart quickly away.
I also turn all mushy when I see grandparents out with their grandchildren.
Have you ever noticed how all grandparents say the same thing?
“Grandchildren are wonderful; you can spoil them and then give them back to their parents.”
I can’t wait.
In the meantime, I am gathering as many hints as I can from folks who seem to grandparent well. Here are the common themes:
-Have fun together. “You are my favorite person in the world to be with.”
-Be their confidante. “Yes, your mother drives me crazy, too, but please remember what a terrible mother she had.” Say that with a big smile and see how long it takes that sweet little one to figure out the joke.
-Back up the parents. “God will most certainly judge your parents some day, but in the meantime you should obey them and wait to see what happens next. I believe they have your best interests at heart. And who knows, maybe lightening will strike.” This happens to be my personal favorite.
-Encourage them. “You are amazing. I’ve never seen such a talented child. I am so proud of you.”
-Let them know that your love is unconditional. “All people make mistakes, darling.’ Think how ancient I am and just how many mistakes I’ve made. I have experience; I can help you with this.”
One grandmother told me years ago that she spent as much time as she could with her grandkids when they were little, so that they would listen to her when they reached the junior high years.
She opened up her home and her heart to those grandkids frequently over the years. Real frequently.
Guess what?
Now those grandkids are in high school and college and they call her to see if they can invite their friends over to her house. They’ve been having birthday and graduation parties at Nonny’s house lately; clean-cut affairs with water sports, but no alcohol.
I am inspired by her attitude.
Young people always bring energy, passion, and joy into our lives, not to mention a good laugh or two at the parents’ expense.
Sounds like a ton of fun for the ambitious grandparent.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments, suggestions, and lists at CAEKrafve2@aol.com
Golf: It’s All About the Shoes
“It’s all about the shoes,” declared a friend when I asked about her love of golf.
Really? I thought it was all about the cart.
I shared this info with a guy and he responded, “Really? But golf shoes are so ugly!”
Well, you would think so, but there’s no explaining fashion, especially when it comes to shoes.
For example, who would ever have thought that Sketchers would catch on? Sketchers, in case you don’t check the sale ads in your local paper, are a tennis shoe popular with fashionista-types that would be perfectly at home in a bowling alley.
I actually have a pair of Coach tennis shoes that are similar to bowling shoes. I wear them all the time, not that I myself would ever pay for anything Coach brand.
They were a gift from my husband who had the impartial and knowledgeable help of our daughter while shopping.
The shoes are gold and that explains everything.
You see, I have noted over the years that grandmothers always have gold shoes. And usually a gold pocketbook to match. A pocketbook is what we used to call purses back in the day before they became hand bags. My grandmother would not have carried anything but a pocketbook.
I don’t have grandchildren yet; a circumstance that I take every opportunity to mention in front of my married daughter.
However, my philosophy is that it is never too early to go ahead and get gold shoes just in case you get surprised with grandchildren. It could happen.
Personally, I think any writer that can work golf, shoes, and grandparenting into the same column deserves a Pulitzer. Not that I’m hinting or anything.
Golf is on my mind because a very kind lady blessed me by taking me for a ride in her golf cart today.
She doesn’t actually play golf, she just owns the cart. Very sensible of her, if you ask me.
I had no desire to drive, I just went along for the ride. I find it so much more relaxing to let someone else take the responsibility of not crashing.
She and her mother, that would be the grandmother of her children (notice how I worked that grandmother thing in again), had recently painted her cart in green and tan camo. Really. It was very cool; in a golf cart fashion kind of way.
Okay, I think a camo golf cart is the height of snazzy golfing equipment.
Unless, of course, they make golf shoes in gold.
Now is your chance, golfers, let me know what you like about golf, golf shoes, or golf equipment and I’ll fashion your ideas into a column.
Better yet, invite me to ride around in a golf cart and I’ll show up at your next fundraiser. It will make a great excuse to buy a new pair of shoes!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas, golf paradise. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Really? I thought it was all about the cart.
I shared this info with a guy and he responded, “Really? But golf shoes are so ugly!”
Well, you would think so, but there’s no explaining fashion, especially when it comes to shoes.
For example, who would ever have thought that Sketchers would catch on? Sketchers, in case you don’t check the sale ads in your local paper, are a tennis shoe popular with fashionista-types that would be perfectly at home in a bowling alley.
I actually have a pair of Coach tennis shoes that are similar to bowling shoes. I wear them all the time, not that I myself would ever pay for anything Coach brand.
They were a gift from my husband who had the impartial and knowledgeable help of our daughter while shopping.
The shoes are gold and that explains everything.
You see, I have noted over the years that grandmothers always have gold shoes. And usually a gold pocketbook to match. A pocketbook is what we used to call purses back in the day before they became hand bags. My grandmother would not have carried anything but a pocketbook.
I don’t have grandchildren yet; a circumstance that I take every opportunity to mention in front of my married daughter.
However, my philosophy is that it is never too early to go ahead and get gold shoes just in case you get surprised with grandchildren. It could happen.
Personally, I think any writer that can work golf, shoes, and grandparenting into the same column deserves a Pulitzer. Not that I’m hinting or anything.
Golf is on my mind because a very kind lady blessed me by taking me for a ride in her golf cart today.
She doesn’t actually play golf, she just owns the cart. Very sensible of her, if you ask me.
I had no desire to drive, I just went along for the ride. I find it so much more relaxing to let someone else take the responsibility of not crashing.
She and her mother, that would be the grandmother of her children (notice how I worked that grandmother thing in again), had recently painted her cart in green and tan camo. Really. It was very cool; in a golf cart fashion kind of way.
Okay, I think a camo golf cart is the height of snazzy golfing equipment.
Unless, of course, they make golf shoes in gold.
Now is your chance, golfers, let me know what you like about golf, golf shoes, or golf equipment and I’ll fashion your ideas into a column.
Better yet, invite me to ride around in a golf cart and I’ll show up at your next fundraiser. It will make a great excuse to buy a new pair of shoes!
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas, golf paradise. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Readers’ List - Best East Texas Golf Courses
This makes two columns in a row about golf.
Can I help it if East Texans are nutty about their golf? If we keep this up, I bet the editor is going to move this column to the sports page.
Having loved and played the sport for over forty years, Tim Wheeler, of Chandler, sent me his four favorite public courses. His reasons for choosing them are fascinating. Wheeler writes that these are the courses that he believes “are superior to any other public courses available out there.
- Pine Dunes Resort, Frankston, Texas. “A Jay Morrish design that is a jewel,” writes Wheeler. “It has one of the most difficult par threes in East Texas, number six, as well as a dual fairway par five. Well thought out design and you can tell it when you play. This I believe is Morrish's first course he designed without Tom Weiskopf his former partner and a former British Open Champion.”
- Twin Lakes Golf Course, Canton, Texas, which Wheeler says is a very difficult golf course. “This course is LONG from the tips. This course is built within a 900 acre container plant and tree farm. When playing holes seventeen and eighteen, it looks like something one might see in Napa Valley California with the rows of container plants on the rolling hills resembling the look of vineyards. It is owned by the Gideon (Deon) Dekkers family formerly from South Africa.”
- Garden Valley Golf and Resort, Garden Valley, Texas, which he says has a wonderful layout. Wheeler challenges anyone to find a more beautiful back nine in Texas, especially in the spring with the native dogwoods in bloom along with the numerous azaleas sprinkled among the course. “A must play,” he adds.
- Oak Hurst Golf Course, Bullard, Texas is a nice little golf course to play, according to Wheeler. “I really like the design; although I must admit that number ten could be better. It was designed by the late Carlton Gibson, who also designed Eagles Bluff on Lake Palestine. I believe that the late Mr. Gibson was at one time the greens keeper at Cherry Hills in Denver, Colorado home to a U. S. Open in the 1960's. The greens here can be suspect at times, but all in all, a fun course to play.”
Another golf fan, Harry Casserta of Tyler, tells me that his favorite course is Willowbrook Country Club. He adds that the best thing about golf at Willowbrook is golf pro, Chris Hudson. Casserta, who just finished a volunteer stint as president of the club, says “Chris Hudson has rejuvenated the program at Willowbrook.” Accomplished amateur and collegiate players from all over the U.S. seek Hudson out for instruction, according to Casserta who claims to be Hudson’s only failure.
Casserta’s other favorite thing about Willowbrook, founded in 1922, is the tradition; this from the man whose love of golf began as a youngster working in the pro shop along with the current president, Robert Bailes, and assisting the legendary, George Slicks” Brooks. He says tradition has it that the course is “an unsigned work of art designed by golf course architect Ralph Plummer.”
I’m not done with golf yet, folks. I still want to know which benefit golf tourneys you like the best, for example, the one that happened last Monday at Eagle’s Bluffs to benefit the Bullard Library.
Jane Prokesh of Bullard writes that the tournament included all kinds of fun, like chances at big prizes- my favorite was the golf cart- for a hole in one, raffles, and other entertaining ways to spend the day, like playing Mah Jongg and bridge, not to mention hamburgers, salads, and a wine and cheese event. I’m looking forward to reporting here how much money was raised for the library.
There are three new bags of clubs at my house, none of which belong to me. Still, I am excited about clipping today’s column and tucking it away in the pocket of my husband’s new golf bag.
A special thanks to those who contributed their knowledge to this week’s list, Tim Wheeler, Harry Casserta, and Jane Prokesh.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family and while she can’t swing a club, she never passes up the opportunity to drive “those sporty little golf carts.”
Can I help it if East Texans are nutty about their golf? If we keep this up, I bet the editor is going to move this column to the sports page.
Having loved and played the sport for over forty years, Tim Wheeler, of Chandler, sent me his four favorite public courses. His reasons for choosing them are fascinating. Wheeler writes that these are the courses that he believes “are superior to any other public courses available out there.
- Pine Dunes Resort, Frankston, Texas. “A Jay Morrish design that is a jewel,” writes Wheeler. “It has one of the most difficult par threes in East Texas, number six, as well as a dual fairway par five. Well thought out design and you can tell it when you play. This I believe is Morrish's first course he designed without Tom Weiskopf his former partner and a former British Open Champion.”
- Twin Lakes Golf Course, Canton, Texas, which Wheeler says is a very difficult golf course. “This course is LONG from the tips. This course is built within a 900 acre container plant and tree farm. When playing holes seventeen and eighteen, it looks like something one might see in Napa Valley California with the rows of container plants on the rolling hills resembling the look of vineyards. It is owned by the Gideon (Deon) Dekkers family formerly from South Africa.”
- Garden Valley Golf and Resort, Garden Valley, Texas, which he says has a wonderful layout. Wheeler challenges anyone to find a more beautiful back nine in Texas, especially in the spring with the native dogwoods in bloom along with the numerous azaleas sprinkled among the course. “A must play,” he adds.
- Oak Hurst Golf Course, Bullard, Texas is a nice little golf course to play, according to Wheeler. “I really like the design; although I must admit that number ten could be better. It was designed by the late Carlton Gibson, who also designed Eagles Bluff on Lake Palestine. I believe that the late Mr. Gibson was at one time the greens keeper at Cherry Hills in Denver, Colorado home to a U. S. Open in the 1960's. The greens here can be suspect at times, but all in all, a fun course to play.”
Another golf fan, Harry Casserta of Tyler, tells me that his favorite course is Willowbrook Country Club. He adds that the best thing about golf at Willowbrook is golf pro, Chris Hudson. Casserta, who just finished a volunteer stint as president of the club, says “Chris Hudson has rejuvenated the program at Willowbrook.” Accomplished amateur and collegiate players from all over the U.S. seek Hudson out for instruction, according to Casserta who claims to be Hudson’s only failure.
Casserta’s other favorite thing about Willowbrook, founded in 1922, is the tradition; this from the man whose love of golf began as a youngster working in the pro shop along with the current president, Robert Bailes, and assisting the legendary, George Slicks” Brooks. He says tradition has it that the course is “an unsigned work of art designed by golf course architect Ralph Plummer.”
I’m not done with golf yet, folks. I still want to know which benefit golf tourneys you like the best, for example, the one that happened last Monday at Eagle’s Bluffs to benefit the Bullard Library.
Jane Prokesh of Bullard writes that the tournament included all kinds of fun, like chances at big prizes- my favorite was the golf cart- for a hole in one, raffles, and other entertaining ways to spend the day, like playing Mah Jongg and bridge, not to mention hamburgers, salads, and a wine and cheese event. I’m looking forward to reporting here how much money was raised for the library.
There are three new bags of clubs at my house, none of which belong to me. Still, I am excited about clipping today’s column and tucking it away in the pocket of my husband’s new golf bag.
A special thanks to those who contributed their knowledge to this week’s list, Tim Wheeler, Harry Casserta, and Jane Prokesh.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family and while she can’t swing a club, she never passes up the opportunity to drive “those sporty little golf carts.”
Golf – the Addiction
Have you ever noticed how addictive golf is? Well, only a nongolfer would even ask such a silly question, right? What is it about the sport that inspires such fierce determination to commit to the pursuit of a ball clearly sized for the sole purpose of making a person crazy? Obsession is the only word to describe it.
How is it after only a few short months as a columnist, I find that I have already devoted so many column inches to a game I have never played? I find myself inserting the g-word into my writing simply because it ensures that some fellow golf-obsessed reader out there will be sure to email me. Am I really that desperate for mail or is it just that the sport holds the irresistible promise of camaraderie?
Clearly, there is a need for Golfers Anonymous. Since I am obviously not the first person to think of it, I researched the idea on the internet. Did you know that there were endless results for the entry “golfers anonymous”? I think some of them were even serious. Really.
There are even several entries for Disc Golfers Anonymous. Actually, that one didn’t surprise me that much. I know some of those disc golfers and they’ve got a serious obsession.
Personally, I think we need to start a chapter of GA in East Texas. That will give us the perfect excuse to come together and discuss our common handicap. For spouses, there needs to be a Golf Anon so that they can deal with the consequences of being emotionally abandoned in favor of the links.
Has anyone coined the acronym OCGD, i.e. obsessive compulsive golf disorder? I hate to treat the subject lightly because this could be serious.
I think we should start a self-help group for OCGD sufferers. We could establish a magazine with helpful articles and we could write pamphlets. I volunteer to write them for free, not that I’m obsessed or anything. We could form a non-profit organization and hold golf tournaments as fund-raisers. Um, well, okay, maybe not.
One of my favorite listings on the internet stated that “Golfers Anonymous is a fellowship of hackers who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem….”
I tried to visit their web site, but I suspect those folks are too busy picking out their next set of clubs to update their website.
So, what is the real issue is behind a golf obsession? Undoubtedly, it has to be the golf cart. Where is the sane person who can resist such a sporty little temptation? True recovery definitely has to include resisting the urge to sit behind the wheel and floor it.
In order to recover from Obsessive Compulsive Golf Disorder, I can only add the following advice; it is necessary to take it one swing at a time…no, no, I meant one day at a time. Really.
Silly me, all this time I just thought it was a game that provided the perfect excuse to walk around outside with your buddies and drive those darling little carts.
Cathy Primer Krafve lives with her family in East Texas where the beautiful lakes, rolling green hills, and sandy spots make it golfing paradise. Contact her at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.
How is it after only a few short months as a columnist, I find that I have already devoted so many column inches to a game I have never played? I find myself inserting the g-word into my writing simply because it ensures that some fellow golf-obsessed reader out there will be sure to email me. Am I really that desperate for mail or is it just that the sport holds the irresistible promise of camaraderie?
Clearly, there is a need for Golfers Anonymous. Since I am obviously not the first person to think of it, I researched the idea on the internet. Did you know that there were endless results for the entry “golfers anonymous”? I think some of them were even serious. Really.
There are even several entries for Disc Golfers Anonymous. Actually, that one didn’t surprise me that much. I know some of those disc golfers and they’ve got a serious obsession.
Personally, I think we need to start a chapter of GA in East Texas. That will give us the perfect excuse to come together and discuss our common handicap. For spouses, there needs to be a Golf Anon so that they can deal with the consequences of being emotionally abandoned in favor of the links.
Has anyone coined the acronym OCGD, i.e. obsessive compulsive golf disorder? I hate to treat the subject lightly because this could be serious.
I think we should start a self-help group for OCGD sufferers. We could establish a magazine with helpful articles and we could write pamphlets. I volunteer to write them for free, not that I’m obsessed or anything. We could form a non-profit organization and hold golf tournaments as fund-raisers. Um, well, okay, maybe not.
One of my favorite listings on the internet stated that “Golfers Anonymous is a fellowship of hackers who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem….”
I tried to visit their web site, but I suspect those folks are too busy picking out their next set of clubs to update their website.
So, what is the real issue is behind a golf obsession? Undoubtedly, it has to be the golf cart. Where is the sane person who can resist such a sporty little temptation? True recovery definitely has to include resisting the urge to sit behind the wheel and floor it.
In order to recover from Obsessive Compulsive Golf Disorder, I can only add the following advice; it is necessary to take it one swing at a time…no, no, I meant one day at a time. Really.
Silly me, all this time I just thought it was a game that provided the perfect excuse to walk around outside with your buddies and drive those darling little carts.
Cathy Primer Krafve lives with her family in East Texas where the beautiful lakes, rolling green hills, and sandy spots make it golfing paradise. Contact her at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.
Father’s Day List: 20 Ideas for Under $5
Father’s Day will happen in June whether we are ready or not. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
1) Tell him, “I love you every day of the year!”
2) Stop by his workplace on the Friday before Father’s day, just to deliver a hug.
3) Take him to play putt-putt.
4) Give him a piggy bank marked “new golf clubs” and make the first contribution. At $5.00 a pop, that would take you about 60 Father’s Days into the future, so better plan to make other contributions throughout the year.
5) Make him a “card” out of an old cigar box and fill it with old pictures of you with him.
6) Snuggle into his recliner with him.
7) Rent his favorite old western and pop pop-corn.
8) Take him to a matinee. Pick a time when you can be the only ones in the theater.
9) Wake up early and surprise him with a doughnut run, but only if he’s a morning person. If he’s a night owl, show up at midnight.
10) Pack a picnic and take him on a scavenger hunt to “find” it.
11) Text or call him on the hour all day long just to say “I love you” again.
12) Take him out for a DQ soft-serve ice cream.
13) Spend Sunday afternoon helping him with his high tech gadgets.
14) Help him pick out a gift for mom. Yes, this seems out of place, but for some reason, dads always seem to welcome help with gifts for mom.
15) If you have new baby, put $5 in an envelope to start a college fund because new dads always wonder how they are going to pay for college.
16) Start another envelope designated “second honeymoon” for when the youngest child leaves the nest. Dad will like this even better than idea #15. Better yet, start an envelope fund for a weekend away as soon as the baby is weaned.
17) Weed his vegetable garden.
18) Hang shiny DVD’s around his garden to keep the birds away from his tomatoes.
19) Bring him fresh produce from the farmer’s market and fix a summer vegetables-only lunch.
20) Give him a $5 gift card to the hardware store. It will be the perfect excuse to spend his own money on that new chainsaw he’s been longing for.
If you do everything on this list, it will only cost you around $50.00.
Sometimes dads get the role the traditional way. Sometimes the role finds them by accident.
However and wherever the role finds him, every kid needs someone special to be dad. Happy Father’s Day to all those willing to be Dad.
Cathy Primer Krafve, a.k.a. Checklist Charlie, lives in Flint with her husband, the father of their three children. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
1) Tell him, “I love you every day of the year!”
2) Stop by his workplace on the Friday before Father’s day, just to deliver a hug.
3) Take him to play putt-putt.
4) Give him a piggy bank marked “new golf clubs” and make the first contribution. At $5.00 a pop, that would take you about 60 Father’s Days into the future, so better plan to make other contributions throughout the year.
5) Make him a “card” out of an old cigar box and fill it with old pictures of you with him.
6) Snuggle into his recliner with him.
7) Rent his favorite old western and pop pop-corn.
8) Take him to a matinee. Pick a time when you can be the only ones in the theater.
9) Wake up early and surprise him with a doughnut run, but only if he’s a morning person. If he’s a night owl, show up at midnight.
10) Pack a picnic and take him on a scavenger hunt to “find” it.
11) Text or call him on the hour all day long just to say “I love you” again.
12) Take him out for a DQ soft-serve ice cream.
13) Spend Sunday afternoon helping him with his high tech gadgets.
14) Help him pick out a gift for mom. Yes, this seems out of place, but for some reason, dads always seem to welcome help with gifts for mom.
15) If you have new baby, put $5 in an envelope to start a college fund because new dads always wonder how they are going to pay for college.
16) Start another envelope designated “second honeymoon” for when the youngest child leaves the nest. Dad will like this even better than idea #15. Better yet, start an envelope fund for a weekend away as soon as the baby is weaned.
17) Weed his vegetable garden.
18) Hang shiny DVD’s around his garden to keep the birds away from his tomatoes.
19) Bring him fresh produce from the farmer’s market and fix a summer vegetables-only lunch.
20) Give him a $5 gift card to the hardware store. It will be the perfect excuse to spend his own money on that new chainsaw he’s been longing for.
If you do everything on this list, it will only cost you around $50.00.
Sometimes dads get the role the traditional way. Sometimes the role finds them by accident.
However and wherever the role finds him, every kid needs someone special to be dad. Happy Father’s Day to all those willing to be Dad.
Cathy Primer Krafve, a.k.a. Checklist Charlie, lives in Flint with her husband, the father of their three children. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Summer Fun for Little Ones
With the thermometer pushing 100 degrees here in East Texas, it seems the little ones are gravitating back indoors to the air-conditioning. Longer daylight hours are keeping little ones awake and ready for action until well after dinner time.
What’s a parent or grandparent to do?
If summer at your house brings with it the laughter and energy of little ones, here’s a handy list to keep taped inside your pantry door for summertime boredom emergencies.
-Pick blueberries at one of the near-by farms. Buy extra, so your little ones can share them with your neighbors. Ringing the neighbors’ doorbells with a surprise is the perfect way to entertain children and bless the neighbors at the same time!
-Pull that old typewriter off the top shelf of the closet and explain that before computers, people actually used these antique machines. Then set the kiddoes to work with lots of typing paper.
-Make cardboard box cottages out of big corrugated boxes. Add spool door knobs, paper rolls for gutters, and construction paper or magazine pages for tile roofs. Make a garage, a barn for the stuffed animals, and a store next door until you have a whole village. -“Paint” your house with a paint brush and a bucket of water.
-Tell stories into a tape recorder, so they can play them again and again. Tell family stories about when their parents were little or make up fictional stories with important truths included.
-Plan an indoor picnic in a neighbor’s garden room or a breakfast picnic outside in the cool of the day. Let the children help you grocery shop and prepare simple child-friendly food. Buy store bought cookies and let them decorate with store bought icing and sprinkles.
-Visit a nursing home. Take some of your fresh blueberries, your decorator cookies, or plan ahead with a song that your little ones enjoy singing.
-Play “Full-Contact Spoons.” This is a version of the old card game, Spoons, with the added benefit of being a perfect excuse to tickle, hug, wrestle, and giggle a bunch. Also, try “Full-Body Ping Pong” which requires no table or paddles, just ping pong balls and a lot of energy.
-Take them to a dollar store with a dollar in hand. Let them buy whatever catches their fancy; you may find you are as entertained as they are. This will only work when they are very small because children soon discover that they would rather have more money, but isn’t it fun while it lasts?
-Be a swinger. Don’t let the lack of a tree branch keep you from enjoying those plastic swings for little ones. Put large eye hooks in every doorway, in the garage, or on the porch, so that little ones can swing wherever you are. Buy a swing for each child and hang as many eye hooks as it takes to keep everyone moving.
With little ones, summer is absolutely the best thing ever invented because it allows you a few unscheduled minutes to enjoy them, that is, IF you can keep them busy and happy. A few minutes of planning ahead can make those unstructured treasures of time perfectly delightful.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her children who are growing up too fast and the future grandfather of her future grandchildren.
What’s a parent or grandparent to do?
If summer at your house brings with it the laughter and energy of little ones, here’s a handy list to keep taped inside your pantry door for summertime boredom emergencies.
-Pick blueberries at one of the near-by farms. Buy extra, so your little ones can share them with your neighbors. Ringing the neighbors’ doorbells with a surprise is the perfect way to entertain children and bless the neighbors at the same time!
-Pull that old typewriter off the top shelf of the closet and explain that before computers, people actually used these antique machines. Then set the kiddoes to work with lots of typing paper.
-Make cardboard box cottages out of big corrugated boxes. Add spool door knobs, paper rolls for gutters, and construction paper or magazine pages for tile roofs. Make a garage, a barn for the stuffed animals, and a store next door until you have a whole village. -“Paint” your house with a paint brush and a bucket of water.
-Tell stories into a tape recorder, so they can play them again and again. Tell family stories about when their parents were little or make up fictional stories with important truths included.
-Plan an indoor picnic in a neighbor’s garden room or a breakfast picnic outside in the cool of the day. Let the children help you grocery shop and prepare simple child-friendly food. Buy store bought cookies and let them decorate with store bought icing and sprinkles.
-Visit a nursing home. Take some of your fresh blueberries, your decorator cookies, or plan ahead with a song that your little ones enjoy singing.
-Play “Full-Contact Spoons.” This is a version of the old card game, Spoons, with the added benefit of being a perfect excuse to tickle, hug, wrestle, and giggle a bunch. Also, try “Full-Body Ping Pong” which requires no table or paddles, just ping pong balls and a lot of energy.
-Take them to a dollar store with a dollar in hand. Let them buy whatever catches their fancy; you may find you are as entertained as they are. This will only work when they are very small because children soon discover that they would rather have more money, but isn’t it fun while it lasts?
-Be a swinger. Don’t let the lack of a tree branch keep you from enjoying those plastic swings for little ones. Put large eye hooks in every doorway, in the garage, or on the porch, so that little ones can swing wherever you are. Buy a swing for each child and hang as many eye hooks as it takes to keep everyone moving.
With little ones, summer is absolutely the best thing ever invented because it allows you a few unscheduled minutes to enjoy them, that is, IF you can keep them busy and happy. A few minutes of planning ahead can make those unstructured treasures of time perfectly delightful.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her children who are growing up too fast and the future grandfather of her future grandchildren.
Ten Things to Do With Big Kids
July brings with it the promise of family reunions, visits from cousins, and days when it is almost too hot to go outside. School is still a few weeks away, and until then we all want to enjoy any unscheduled time we have together.
So, here are some ideas to make happy moments with the big kids in your life.
-Buy glow-in-the-dark craft paint and let them paint their own pillow cases. This makes a great slumber party activity.
This is as easy as it gets and kids love paint; in direct proportion, so it would seem, to how much trouble it is. We use squeeze bottles with pointy tips for painting. Forget the brushes! Or paint black t-shirts with glow-in-the-dark paint, then give them all flashlights for after-dark tag in the back yard.
-Make a map collage. Subscribe to National Geographic or pick up some old copies at a used book store or garage sale. Get maps off the internet or clean out the glove compartment of your car for old maps. Glue the maps onto butcher paper and tack it to the ceiling. Soon your ceiling will be one huge mural and your kids will be dreaming of all the places they plan to visit some day.
-Start a post card collection, for more geography. Give everyone you know who will be traveling this summer a couple of dollars and your child’s address on mailing labels.
-Play wiffle ball or croquette or badminton. We know college kids who play a sport they dubbed “Ultimate Croquette” in the spirit of the extreme sports. They post their pegs along creek beds and under bridges for extra challenge.
-Build a secret fort. Let them choose a spot and camouflage it so it can’t be seen from the house. Send them outside with hammers, nails and scrap wood. Tarps can be strung above their creation for a rain-proof roof or laid on the ground to minimize the mud that will probably find its way onto your kitchen floor. One other suggestion: count your hammers when the kids come back in.
-Give the big kids the video camera and see what happens. Get out the dress-up clothes and they will be busy for hours, interrupting adult conversation only long enough for each “act.” This is great for family reunions and, best of all, you will have videos to black mail them with at their rehearsal dinners someday.
-Act out a Greek tragedy in togas. Do not let the kids have the video camera, if you are wearing a toga.
-Read a book out loud together, and then watch the movie version.
-Personalize a book bag as a gift for your favorite librarian. Deliver it with a hug. Oh, and be sure to check out some more books.
-Start a neighborhood newspaper.
-My personal favorite: order a dump truck load of sand for a huge sand pile. It is a great time to relive happy moments from your own childhood. Why not retell funny stories about their aunts and uncles?
Of course, once they turn fifteen, the kids will be out the door with their friends as they all begin to get their driver’s licenses. With that in mind, now is the perfect time to turn boredom into a blessing.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, grew up in East Texas, the perfect place to raise the current generation. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
So, here are some ideas to make happy moments with the big kids in your life.
-Buy glow-in-the-dark craft paint and let them paint their own pillow cases. This makes a great slumber party activity.
This is as easy as it gets and kids love paint; in direct proportion, so it would seem, to how much trouble it is. We use squeeze bottles with pointy tips for painting. Forget the brushes! Or paint black t-shirts with glow-in-the-dark paint, then give them all flashlights for after-dark tag in the back yard.
-Make a map collage. Subscribe to National Geographic or pick up some old copies at a used book store or garage sale. Get maps off the internet or clean out the glove compartment of your car for old maps. Glue the maps onto butcher paper and tack it to the ceiling. Soon your ceiling will be one huge mural and your kids will be dreaming of all the places they plan to visit some day.
-Start a post card collection, for more geography. Give everyone you know who will be traveling this summer a couple of dollars and your child’s address on mailing labels.
-Play wiffle ball or croquette or badminton. We know college kids who play a sport they dubbed “Ultimate Croquette” in the spirit of the extreme sports. They post their pegs along creek beds and under bridges for extra challenge.
-Build a secret fort. Let them choose a spot and camouflage it so it can’t be seen from the house. Send them outside with hammers, nails and scrap wood. Tarps can be strung above their creation for a rain-proof roof or laid on the ground to minimize the mud that will probably find its way onto your kitchen floor. One other suggestion: count your hammers when the kids come back in.
-Give the big kids the video camera and see what happens. Get out the dress-up clothes and they will be busy for hours, interrupting adult conversation only long enough for each “act.” This is great for family reunions and, best of all, you will have videos to black mail them with at their rehearsal dinners someday.
-Act out a Greek tragedy in togas. Do not let the kids have the video camera, if you are wearing a toga.
-Read a book out loud together, and then watch the movie version.
-Personalize a book bag as a gift for your favorite librarian. Deliver it with a hug. Oh, and be sure to check out some more books.
-Start a neighborhood newspaper.
-My personal favorite: order a dump truck load of sand for a huge sand pile. It is a great time to relive happy moments from your own childhood. Why not retell funny stories about their aunts and uncles?
Of course, once they turn fifteen, the kids will be out the door with their friends as they all begin to get their driver’s licenses. With that in mind, now is the perfect time to turn boredom into a blessing.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, grew up in East Texas, the perfect place to raise the current generation. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Easter Bunnies Again Already?
I used to do a super-duper job of celebrating all the holidays.
Have you ever noticed how quickly they come around? Every month has special day that requires mothers to cook, clean, and entertain house guests.
For freedom from impending holiday work, I now turn to my favorite trivia book.
Did you know that Easter ‘is also the name of an ancient Saxon festival and of the pagan goddess of spring and off-spring, Eastre,’ according to Panati’s Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things.
Panati is full of interesting info that makes me feel free to ignore as many traditions as possible.
-The Easter Bunny also comes to us from Anglo-Saxon roots because Eastre’s earthly symbol was the hare.
-Eggs had been used by the Egyptians, the Greeks and the Romans before the time of Jesus as a symbol of fertility. German immigrants brought them, to America as part of the celebration
-It was the Council of Nicaea, in A.D. 325, who established that Easter would be celebrated on Sunday instead of Friday or Saturday as it had been on occasion before then.
-Observance of Easter was not widespread in the U.S. until after the Civil War when the Presbyterians resurrected it (sorry about the bad pun) as a “source of inspiration and hope for millions of bereaved Americans.”
We have a tradition at our house that you might consider folding into your festivities.
An arch-nemesis to the Easter Bunny, the Egg Snatcher steals our breakfast at almost any excuse throughout the year. He leaves clues in Easter eggs all over the neighborhood. Easter eggs make terrific clue containers any time.
Fortunately, after a brisk walk, we always find breakfast in some place that is perfect for a picnic, usually the tree fort.
Yes, it is original, maybe downright strange.
Still, no stranger than Easter Bunnies.
I can’t help but think that the early Christians would be surprised to discover the way we celebrate the Resurrection.
For example, my Dad survived open-heart surgery 13 years ago and we’ve been celebrating ever since, but not just once a year on the anniversary.
Surviving surgery is one thing.
Dieing for folks sins and rising back up to talk about it is another.
Seems like the Resurrection is worth more attention than one day a year. Just a thought.
Anyway, in spite of the fact that they only became popular in the late 1880s, I feel free to buy lots of chocolate bunnies. And you better believe I will eat my share.
Happy Easter to all. And Happy Resurrection, too, all year long.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, celebrates holidays at home with her family in beautiful East Texas. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Have you ever noticed how quickly they come around? Every month has special day that requires mothers to cook, clean, and entertain house guests.
For freedom from impending holiday work, I now turn to my favorite trivia book.
Did you know that Easter ‘is also the name of an ancient Saxon festival and of the pagan goddess of spring and off-spring, Eastre,’ according to Panati’s Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things.
Panati is full of interesting info that makes me feel free to ignore as many traditions as possible.
-The Easter Bunny also comes to us from Anglo-Saxon roots because Eastre’s earthly symbol was the hare.
-Eggs had been used by the Egyptians, the Greeks and the Romans before the time of Jesus as a symbol of fertility. German immigrants brought them, to America as part of the celebration
-It was the Council of Nicaea, in A.D. 325, who established that Easter would be celebrated on Sunday instead of Friday or Saturday as it had been on occasion before then.
-Observance of Easter was not widespread in the U.S. until after the Civil War when the Presbyterians resurrected it (sorry about the bad pun) as a “source of inspiration and hope for millions of bereaved Americans.”
We have a tradition at our house that you might consider folding into your festivities.
An arch-nemesis to the Easter Bunny, the Egg Snatcher steals our breakfast at almost any excuse throughout the year. He leaves clues in Easter eggs all over the neighborhood. Easter eggs make terrific clue containers any time.
Fortunately, after a brisk walk, we always find breakfast in some place that is perfect for a picnic, usually the tree fort.
Yes, it is original, maybe downright strange.
Still, no stranger than Easter Bunnies.
I can’t help but think that the early Christians would be surprised to discover the way we celebrate the Resurrection.
For example, my Dad survived open-heart surgery 13 years ago and we’ve been celebrating ever since, but not just once a year on the anniversary.
Surviving surgery is one thing.
Dieing for folks sins and rising back up to talk about it is another.
Seems like the Resurrection is worth more attention than one day a year. Just a thought.
Anyway, in spite of the fact that they only became popular in the late 1880s, I feel free to buy lots of chocolate bunnies. And you better believe I will eat my share.
Happy Easter to all. And Happy Resurrection, too, all year long.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, celebrates holidays at home with her family in beautiful East Texas. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Dream Destinations, Down Home Style
August means last call for vacations. With the sun peaking out of the clouds here in East Texas, I am dreaming of sun-swept beaches and turquoise water. Let’s be realistic, however, with school supplies, back-to-school clothes and the price of gasoline, who can afford Acapulco or the Caribbean?
Speaking of the price of gas, why not make a list of places to vacation nearby? With a list, you can work in one mini-vacation before school starts, plan another one for the Labor Day weekend, and finish the list on the weekends as fall rolls into spring.
Destination #1: Tyler State Park
It’s hard to find a more beautiful place that so well-represents all the variety of trees and foliage that we enjoy here in East Texas. Our state parks are a great place to camp, picnic, kayak, canoe, fish, hike, go birding, rent paddle boats, take nature tours, or hang a hammock and let everyone else play while you rest. The folks at Tyler State Park tell me that the swimming is good and the water is only slightly above normal. Since the 65 acre lake is spring fed and self-contained with no tributaries, they have not had any problems with the water. They also mentioned Lake Bob Sandlin, Atlanta, and Daingerfield State Parks, all in Northeast Texas, as other great places to visit. According to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Website, there are over 20 State Parks in our area.
Destination #2: Kilgore, Texas
Who could resist a small town with the cultural savvy to host a Shakespeare Festival every summer? While we’ll have to wait until summer 2008 to take in the next festival event, Kilgore College hosts other cultural and sporting events throughout the year. The East Texas Oil Museum, on the KC campus, is an afternoon’s worth of interactive exhibits that tell the history of the oil industry in East Texas and allow kiddoes to get the flavor of a bygone era, all in air-conditioned comfort. Don’t forget to schedule a meal of ribs at the Country Tavern while you are in the neighborhood.
Destination #3: Shreveport, Louisiana
If big-city excitement is what you are craving, Shreveport, closer than the Metroplex, is an interesting cultural mix of old-world charm and new dynamics. Some folks go to Shreveport for horse racing or “the boats,” a reference to the many casinoes along the riverfront. However, some of Shreveport’s best attractions are family-friendly, like the Sci-port Discovery Center and the R.W. Norton Museum. Sci-port Discovery Center includes all kinds of exhibits designed with children in mind to explain Louisiana’s economy and history; a child with a little imagination can soon be the captain of a riverboat or a biologist preserving wildlife habitats. The Norton Museum, with its internationally noteworthy collection of western art by Frederic Remington and Charles Russell, is a gem of an art museum and worth a visit to Shreveport all by itself.
Destination #4: Canton and Edom, Texas
Why not spend Saturday at First Monday Trades Day? If you can’t make the First Monday week-end, but the sunshine is calling you outside, there is a new water park called Splash Kingdom, situated on I20. After a hard day of shopping or swimming, retire to one of the many bed and breakfast inns in the area for the night. Sunday worship in a small town church followed by lunch at The Shed in Edom is a perfect way to spend a leisurely Sunday. On the way out of town, be sure and stop off at the Blue Moon Nursery to pick up a few plants and some good advice about organic gardening. Don’t go back to work until you have had a chance to get your fingernails dirty by planting something that will be around when the cooler temps arrive in October. There’s nothing like enjoying fall color in your yard to extend that vacation feeling a little longer.
Destination #5: Tyler, Texas
It is easy to forget how much fun a few days in Tyler can be, since so many of people have to come to town to work or for doctor’s appointments. In fact, there are so many fun things to do in Tyler that next week I am devoting a whole column to that extra long, extra eclectic list.
Just because summer is winding down and the price of gas is up does not rule out a dream vacation, especially when that dream vacation is down home style right here in East Texas.
In the meantime, my next stop is down a waterslide at Splash Kingdom. Yeeeehaw! See ya in the sunshine!
Cathy Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family. If you would like to add something to one of her lists, she can be reached at features@bullardnews.com.
Speaking of the price of gas, why not make a list of places to vacation nearby? With a list, you can work in one mini-vacation before school starts, plan another one for the Labor Day weekend, and finish the list on the weekends as fall rolls into spring.
Destination #1: Tyler State Park
It’s hard to find a more beautiful place that so well-represents all the variety of trees and foliage that we enjoy here in East Texas. Our state parks are a great place to camp, picnic, kayak, canoe, fish, hike, go birding, rent paddle boats, take nature tours, or hang a hammock and let everyone else play while you rest. The folks at Tyler State Park tell me that the swimming is good and the water is only slightly above normal. Since the 65 acre lake is spring fed and self-contained with no tributaries, they have not had any problems with the water. They also mentioned Lake Bob Sandlin, Atlanta, and Daingerfield State Parks, all in Northeast Texas, as other great places to visit. According to the Texas Parks and Wildlife Website, there are over 20 State Parks in our area.
Destination #2: Kilgore, Texas
Who could resist a small town with the cultural savvy to host a Shakespeare Festival every summer? While we’ll have to wait until summer 2008 to take in the next festival event, Kilgore College hosts other cultural and sporting events throughout the year. The East Texas Oil Museum, on the KC campus, is an afternoon’s worth of interactive exhibits that tell the history of the oil industry in East Texas and allow kiddoes to get the flavor of a bygone era, all in air-conditioned comfort. Don’t forget to schedule a meal of ribs at the Country Tavern while you are in the neighborhood.
Destination #3: Shreveport, Louisiana
If big-city excitement is what you are craving, Shreveport, closer than the Metroplex, is an interesting cultural mix of old-world charm and new dynamics. Some folks go to Shreveport for horse racing or “the boats,” a reference to the many casinoes along the riverfront. However, some of Shreveport’s best attractions are family-friendly, like the Sci-port Discovery Center and the R.W. Norton Museum. Sci-port Discovery Center includes all kinds of exhibits designed with children in mind to explain Louisiana’s economy and history; a child with a little imagination can soon be the captain of a riverboat or a biologist preserving wildlife habitats. The Norton Museum, with its internationally noteworthy collection of western art by Frederic Remington and Charles Russell, is a gem of an art museum and worth a visit to Shreveport all by itself.
Destination #4: Canton and Edom, Texas
Why not spend Saturday at First Monday Trades Day? If you can’t make the First Monday week-end, but the sunshine is calling you outside, there is a new water park called Splash Kingdom, situated on I20. After a hard day of shopping or swimming, retire to one of the many bed and breakfast inns in the area for the night. Sunday worship in a small town church followed by lunch at The Shed in Edom is a perfect way to spend a leisurely Sunday. On the way out of town, be sure and stop off at the Blue Moon Nursery to pick up a few plants and some good advice about organic gardening. Don’t go back to work until you have had a chance to get your fingernails dirty by planting something that will be around when the cooler temps arrive in October. There’s nothing like enjoying fall color in your yard to extend that vacation feeling a little longer.
Destination #5: Tyler, Texas
It is easy to forget how much fun a few days in Tyler can be, since so many of people have to come to town to work or for doctor’s appointments. In fact, there are so many fun things to do in Tyler that next week I am devoting a whole column to that extra long, extra eclectic list.
Just because summer is winding down and the price of gas is up does not rule out a dream vacation, especially when that dream vacation is down home style right here in East Texas.
In the meantime, my next stop is down a waterslide at Splash Kingdom. Yeeeehaw! See ya in the sunshine!
Cathy Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family. If you would like to add something to one of her lists, she can be reached at features@bullardnews.com.
Cure for Grinchitis
I don’t know about you, but the idea of Christmas giving throws me into a panic. You would think finding dozens of perfect gifts would be easy; the stores are helpfully filled with all kinds of junk this time of year.
Oh, maybe that’s it: the junk factor.
Or maybe my tight-wad soul just can’t seem to cough up that gigantic bottom line cost of Christmas that eats through a big chunk of the annual Christmas bonus.
Yes, I am a self-confessed, incorrigible Grinch. If grinchitis is one of your habitual holiday responses, then I have a thought.
Maybe the wrong people are on our gift list.
To compound the problem, each year at this time, I get a year older. No wonder I’m grumpy.
So, to cheer myself up, I’ve started making out a gift list for the things I really want for my birthday and the holidays. The names on this list are the people I really want to spend my money on.
So, who made the list this year? Well, it’s usually top secret, but just in case you are grumpy, too, I’ll share.
-The Bullard Library. For the holidays, I am giving myself the gift of an East Texas with more books, more technology, better educated kiddoes, a place where seniors can socialize; you get the idea. The address is Friends of the Library, PO Box 368, Bullard TX 75757. I love the Noonday Library, too, in part because Miss Loretta has all but adopted my son. Their address is 16662 CR 196, Tyler TX 75703.
-Discovery Science Place. My children grew up running through the cave and vibrating on the earthquake without ever realizing that it was a form of education. Kids who love science are bound to grow up into adults that benefit East Texas. Their address is 308 N. Broadway, Tyler TX 75702.
-The New Neonatal Unit at Trinity Mother Frances. I am so thankful that parents in the crisis of having a critically ill baby will not be forced to helicopter their newborn to Dallas. Mary Dale Thomas, honorary chairman of the drive to make this happen, is also enthusiastic about this way of giving.
“If you are searching for a special gift for a loved one, this would be so fitting because it will be helping our very smallest patients,” she says. Donations should be marked Neonatal ICU and can be mailed to Trinity MFHS Foundation at 611 Fleishel, Tyler, 75701.
-Pine Cove Christian Camps. In the last few years, the folks at Pine Cove have partnered with the Boys and Girls Clubs of Tyler to bring kids to camp that normally would not have the chance. Mark checks “scholarship” and mail to PO Box 9055, Tyler TX 75711.
As I type this, I am realizing that children are a theme that runs through my list. Hmm…that seems appropriate for Christmas.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, plans to help her husband cover the house with Christmas lights instead of grinching about it, but that is a whole ‘nother story. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Oh, maybe that’s it: the junk factor.
Or maybe my tight-wad soul just can’t seem to cough up that gigantic bottom line cost of Christmas that eats through a big chunk of the annual Christmas bonus.
Yes, I am a self-confessed, incorrigible Grinch. If grinchitis is one of your habitual holiday responses, then I have a thought.
Maybe the wrong people are on our gift list.
To compound the problem, each year at this time, I get a year older. No wonder I’m grumpy.
So, to cheer myself up, I’ve started making out a gift list for the things I really want for my birthday and the holidays. The names on this list are the people I really want to spend my money on.
So, who made the list this year? Well, it’s usually top secret, but just in case you are grumpy, too, I’ll share.
-The Bullard Library. For the holidays, I am giving myself the gift of an East Texas with more books, more technology, better educated kiddoes, a place where seniors can socialize; you get the idea. The address is Friends of the Library, PO Box 368, Bullard TX 75757. I love the Noonday Library, too, in part because Miss Loretta has all but adopted my son. Their address is 16662 CR 196, Tyler TX 75703.
-Discovery Science Place. My children grew up running through the cave and vibrating on the earthquake without ever realizing that it was a form of education. Kids who love science are bound to grow up into adults that benefit East Texas. Their address is 308 N. Broadway, Tyler TX 75702.
-The New Neonatal Unit at Trinity Mother Frances. I am so thankful that parents in the crisis of having a critically ill baby will not be forced to helicopter their newborn to Dallas. Mary Dale Thomas, honorary chairman of the drive to make this happen, is also enthusiastic about this way of giving.
“If you are searching for a special gift for a loved one, this would be so fitting because it will be helping our very smallest patients,” she says. Donations should be marked Neonatal ICU and can be mailed to Trinity MFHS Foundation at 611 Fleishel, Tyler, 75701.
-Pine Cove Christian Camps. In the last few years, the folks at Pine Cove have partnered with the Boys and Girls Clubs of Tyler to bring kids to camp that normally would not have the chance. Mark checks “scholarship” and mail to PO Box 9055, Tyler TX 75711.
As I type this, I am realizing that children are a theme that runs through my list. Hmm…that seems appropriate for Christmas.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, plans to help her husband cover the house with Christmas lights instead of grinching about it, but that is a whole ‘nother story. Comments are invited at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Giving Your Family Purpose
Well, the rumor is that all teenagers rebel. Personally, I only bought into that until right before my own kids turned thirteen and then I desperately searched for alternate realities. Just in case there was another option out there somewhere.
Guess what? There are some things a parent can do to make life more relaxed for everybody. Not that parenting is ever easy, you understand.
Okay, every kid has their moments - and sometimes parents do too. What can a parent do to make the natural growing pains of childhood more tolerable for everyone?
Children tend to o be at cross-purposes with their parents when objectives are not clearly stated and practiced by the parents. One way to reduce tension in the home and to keep your kiddoes encouraged is to Clarify Family Objectives.
-Begin by identifying the philosophy and ideas that you want to be predominant in your home.
-Make a list of sound bites that communicate three or four basic principles you want to be true of your family.
-Formulate those principles into the reason you formed a family in the first place. This statement becomes the purpose of your family
-Open the door for discussion around a family dinner night.
-Commit yourself to living as closely as you can to the principles and be willing to make sacrifices for them. Be willing to be held accountable by other family members, including the kiddoes.
-Your ideas will probably evolve, so treat them like the fence posts around East Texas. The property lines can be adjusted as the herd grows or as your family responsibilities change.
Clear Family Objectives, sort of a game plan for the family, provides security to the kids, giving them a sense of purpose.
A wise person told me once that teenage rebellion and hypocrisy in the parents often go together. I‘ve noticed this to be true at my house over the years.
A wise parent can’t avoid this truth: our children are a lot like mirrors. Therefore, it is critical for us to take a long, hard look at our own heart when we see signs of rebellion in our kiddoes.
Children find boundaries comforting and they are always encouraged when they know they are loved. Besides Clarifying Family Objectives, another way to say I love you is to Say No at an early age.
Then, keep on Saying No.
Next week, I am going to list the benefits of including that one small word in your parental vocabulary.
It turns out there is an alternate reality where kiddoes are happy, confident, and filled with purpose. Thank heavens for those friends along the way who encouraged me to ignore the American Myth, “All teenagers rebel”!
I hope you will write me, if you have any thoughts to add.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments and lists at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Guess what? There are some things a parent can do to make life more relaxed for everybody. Not that parenting is ever easy, you understand.
Okay, every kid has their moments - and sometimes parents do too. What can a parent do to make the natural growing pains of childhood more tolerable for everyone?
Children tend to o be at cross-purposes with their parents when objectives are not clearly stated and practiced by the parents. One way to reduce tension in the home and to keep your kiddoes encouraged is to Clarify Family Objectives.
-Begin by identifying the philosophy and ideas that you want to be predominant in your home.
-Make a list of sound bites that communicate three or four basic principles you want to be true of your family.
-Formulate those principles into the reason you formed a family in the first place. This statement becomes the purpose of your family
-Open the door for discussion around a family dinner night.
-Commit yourself to living as closely as you can to the principles and be willing to make sacrifices for them. Be willing to be held accountable by other family members, including the kiddoes.
-Your ideas will probably evolve, so treat them like the fence posts around East Texas. The property lines can be adjusted as the herd grows or as your family responsibilities change.
Clear Family Objectives, sort of a game plan for the family, provides security to the kids, giving them a sense of purpose.
A wise person told me once that teenage rebellion and hypocrisy in the parents often go together. I‘ve noticed this to be true at my house over the years.
A wise parent can’t avoid this truth: our children are a lot like mirrors. Therefore, it is critical for us to take a long, hard look at our own heart when we see signs of rebellion in our kiddoes.
Children find boundaries comforting and they are always encouraged when they know they are loved. Besides Clarifying Family Objectives, another way to say I love you is to Say No at an early age.
Then, keep on Saying No.
Next week, I am going to list the benefits of including that one small word in your parental vocabulary.
It turns out there is an alternate reality where kiddoes are happy, confident, and filled with purpose. Thank heavens for those friends along the way who encouraged me to ignore the American Myth, “All teenagers rebel”!
I hope you will write me, if you have any thoughts to add.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas with her family. She welcomes all comments and lists at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Remembering Larry Craig
I said goodbye to another part of my childhood recently.
If you only knew Larry Craig in his public capacity as an elected official, you missed the better part of the man, not that public service is anything to sneeze at.
Personally, I am going to miss his sense of humor.
The last time I saw him was almost a year ago. We were at the hospital and he was still comfortable with suffering in the wake of his wife Barbara’s death only a few months earlier.
He came to encourage and comfort my family. The gift he brought us was a smile and his uniquely funny perspective on life.
With a twinkle in his eye, he and his daughter, Toni, told me about the “casserole ladies.” It was obvious that he was flattered by their attention, but he really only wanted an excuse to talk about Barbara.
My favorite thing about Larry was the way he talked about Barbara.
I liked the way they smiled at each other and the way she was so relaxed and happy whenever he was around.
Funny, the things that impress us as kids.
I also remember the way Larry could grill up a fabulous sirloin.
And the way he switched political parties back when being a Republican in Smith County meant that none of your friends would get to vote for ya in the primary because everyone, and I mean everyone, voted in the Democratic primary.
Those were the days when George Bush, the dad, came to East Texas in his bid for Governor. There were less than seventy-five people in the room at the Republican Headquarters.
I hugged Bush and said I wanted to hug the next Governor of Texas. Of course, he never got to be Governor.
So I guess I hugged a president, not that he would remember the little kid from East Texas.
It is easy to forget how good it is for East Texas when we have two vital political parties. The discussion is good for democracy, plus having choices holds our politicians accountable.
It is easy to take for granted the kind of courage it took for Larry and a handful of others to switch to the Republican Party back in those days when even your close friends told you it was crazy.
Recognizing that lively political discussions are part of our heritage seems like a fitting way to honor a man who served Smith County as County Judge for 16 years.
Personally, as a woman, I think it speaks well of a husband when he exits this world right behind his wife.
That might sound a little callous to some folks, but I think Larry would get the humor of my perspective. I’ll sure miss him.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, exercises her right to vote while singing the Star Spangled Banner in every election right here in beautiful East Texas. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
If you only knew Larry Craig in his public capacity as an elected official, you missed the better part of the man, not that public service is anything to sneeze at.
Personally, I am going to miss his sense of humor.
The last time I saw him was almost a year ago. We were at the hospital and he was still comfortable with suffering in the wake of his wife Barbara’s death only a few months earlier.
He came to encourage and comfort my family. The gift he brought us was a smile and his uniquely funny perspective on life.
With a twinkle in his eye, he and his daughter, Toni, told me about the “casserole ladies.” It was obvious that he was flattered by their attention, but he really only wanted an excuse to talk about Barbara.
My favorite thing about Larry was the way he talked about Barbara.
I liked the way they smiled at each other and the way she was so relaxed and happy whenever he was around.
Funny, the things that impress us as kids.
I also remember the way Larry could grill up a fabulous sirloin.
And the way he switched political parties back when being a Republican in Smith County meant that none of your friends would get to vote for ya in the primary because everyone, and I mean everyone, voted in the Democratic primary.
Those were the days when George Bush, the dad, came to East Texas in his bid for Governor. There were less than seventy-five people in the room at the Republican Headquarters.
I hugged Bush and said I wanted to hug the next Governor of Texas. Of course, he never got to be Governor.
So I guess I hugged a president, not that he would remember the little kid from East Texas.
It is easy to forget how good it is for East Texas when we have two vital political parties. The discussion is good for democracy, plus having choices holds our politicians accountable.
It is easy to take for granted the kind of courage it took for Larry and a handful of others to switch to the Republican Party back in those days when even your close friends told you it was crazy.
Recognizing that lively political discussions are part of our heritage seems like a fitting way to honor a man who served Smith County as County Judge for 16 years.
Personally, as a woman, I think it speaks well of a husband when he exits this world right behind his wife.
That might sound a little callous to some folks, but I think Larry would get the humor of my perspective. I’ll sure miss him.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, exercises her right to vote while singing the Star Spangled Banner in every election right here in beautiful East Texas. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Swing Like You Mean It
The baseball fields all over America are trimmed, green, and ready for action.
My family will be sitting in the stands again this year because little league is really the only sport I get.
I love the human drama.
In every boy’s baseball career, there comes a turning point. It is the season when he realizes that he is going to have to hit in order to get on base.
One of my favorite moments in any season is when the young pitchers start putting it over the plate. That changes everything. Now the batter has a decision to make.
Should he take his chances on four balls, now that the odds have changed? Or should he swing and risk striking out?
“Swing like you mean it!”
“Go down swinging, son!”
Parents and grandparents shout encouragement, making heroes out of courageous batters even when they strike out.
In keeping with my personal policy of embarrassing my children at every opportunity, I am working on the Guinness Book of World Records for the Noisiest Mom in a Baseball Stand. I have some competition for the title, though, I’ve noticed.
There are a lot of boys out there who will have hilariously humiliating stories to tell their great grandchildren someday after we’re gone.
Actually, I am pretty sure I am going to die suddenly of a heart attack. Probably tomorrow. Maybe tonight. It’s a family thing; there is a strong genetic likelihood.
One of the byproducts of having all kinds of heart disease in the family is a sense of urgency about this life.
In our family, we tend to live like we mean it.
Since this life happens quickly, as a young person I assumed that going for the gusto made sense. Looking back, going for the gusto was a lot like going down swinging but not as courageous.
Aging along side my parents has shifted my perspective.
Plus, my father-in-law graduated to eternity this year.
It seems my heart is more and more planted in the eternal while the rest of me is plopped down in the action here; in the temporal now-ness of the moment.
It can be rather distracting mentally. It takes discipline to focus attention on the moment when your heart is experiencing eternity.
Kind of like the kid in the outfield who always picks daisies, we need to be reminded to pay attention.
“Heads up!” Life is coming at you quickly. Live like you mean it.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas where the boys of summer are ready for action. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
My family will be sitting in the stands again this year because little league is really the only sport I get.
I love the human drama.
In every boy’s baseball career, there comes a turning point. It is the season when he realizes that he is going to have to hit in order to get on base.
One of my favorite moments in any season is when the young pitchers start putting it over the plate. That changes everything. Now the batter has a decision to make.
Should he take his chances on four balls, now that the odds have changed? Or should he swing and risk striking out?
“Swing like you mean it!”
“Go down swinging, son!”
Parents and grandparents shout encouragement, making heroes out of courageous batters even when they strike out.
In keeping with my personal policy of embarrassing my children at every opportunity, I am working on the Guinness Book of World Records for the Noisiest Mom in a Baseball Stand. I have some competition for the title, though, I’ve noticed.
There are a lot of boys out there who will have hilariously humiliating stories to tell their great grandchildren someday after we’re gone.
Actually, I am pretty sure I am going to die suddenly of a heart attack. Probably tomorrow. Maybe tonight. It’s a family thing; there is a strong genetic likelihood.
One of the byproducts of having all kinds of heart disease in the family is a sense of urgency about this life.
In our family, we tend to live like we mean it.
Since this life happens quickly, as a young person I assumed that going for the gusto made sense. Looking back, going for the gusto was a lot like going down swinging but not as courageous.
Aging along side my parents has shifted my perspective.
Plus, my father-in-law graduated to eternity this year.
It seems my heart is more and more planted in the eternal while the rest of me is plopped down in the action here; in the temporal now-ness of the moment.
It can be rather distracting mentally. It takes discipline to focus attention on the moment when your heart is experiencing eternity.
Kind of like the kid in the outfield who always picks daisies, we need to be reminded to pay attention.
“Heads up!” Life is coming at you quickly. Live like you mean it.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas where the boys of summer are ready for action. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.
Bald is Beautiful
“Bald is Beautiful.” That’s one of my many mottos.
Personally, as a memory-challenged person, I find mottos helpful. They keep our brains focused.
Oh yeah, this column is not about mottos; it is about men.
Those masculine creatures.
Have you noticed how vanity has become fashionable for men lately?
Remember the good ole days when men would rather face a firing squad than admit privately, much less publicly, that they were in any way concerned about their appearance?
Seeing them wax a man’s chest on television was what first made me shockingly aware of how far we have drifted. Ouch!
So, I am calling on all my gal friends of a certain age to redeem this astonishing situation. Here is my list of helpful mottos to bring our men folk back to masculine reality:
-Hairy Chests Represent Accomplishment. Remember when, as a high school girl, you first noticed that one of your class mates had hair sticking out of his collar? What an accomplishment! The rest of the boys at school could only hope they would have hair on their chest before they got their college diplomas.
-Back Hair is Bearish. There are certain things in life that I, as a female, will never be able to do. Fortunately, growing hair on my back is one of them.
-Mustaches are Marvelous. Do you guys have any idea how much trouble gals have to go to get rid of any shadow of hair on our upper lips? There is no end of products available at the drug store for ridding women of mustaches. I say, if you forget to shave, fellas, count your blessings.
-Men Have a Masculine Smell. Granted, there are times when a shower might improve the aroma, but I, for one, am tired of choking on men’s colognes.
-Bald is Beautiful. We need to tell the men in our lives that we certainly perceive baldness differently than they do. They may be mourning their lost youth or whatever it is that causes them to stand at the mirror trying different hairstyles, some of which make it oh so much worse. But when a female sees that reflection of the top of his crown she thinks, “Testosterone!”
How in the world did we ever let the metrosexuals out there rob us of good ole masculine men?
Whatever happened to the idea that vanity was the worst trait a man could possess, so much more contemptible than an unshaven chin or a hairy back?
What we need to do, gals, is savor the flavor of the men in our lives. And thank them for being men.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas in a home where testosterone currently outnumbers estrogen 2 to 1. Comments are welcomed at CeaKrafve2@aol.com.
Personally, as a memory-challenged person, I find mottos helpful. They keep our brains focused.
Oh yeah, this column is not about mottos; it is about men.
Those masculine creatures.
Have you noticed how vanity has become fashionable for men lately?
Remember the good ole days when men would rather face a firing squad than admit privately, much less publicly, that they were in any way concerned about their appearance?
Seeing them wax a man’s chest on television was what first made me shockingly aware of how far we have drifted. Ouch!
So, I am calling on all my gal friends of a certain age to redeem this astonishing situation. Here is my list of helpful mottos to bring our men folk back to masculine reality:
-Hairy Chests Represent Accomplishment. Remember when, as a high school girl, you first noticed that one of your class mates had hair sticking out of his collar? What an accomplishment! The rest of the boys at school could only hope they would have hair on their chest before they got their college diplomas.
-Back Hair is Bearish. There are certain things in life that I, as a female, will never be able to do. Fortunately, growing hair on my back is one of them.
-Mustaches are Marvelous. Do you guys have any idea how much trouble gals have to go to get rid of any shadow of hair on our upper lips? There is no end of products available at the drug store for ridding women of mustaches. I say, if you forget to shave, fellas, count your blessings.
-Men Have a Masculine Smell. Granted, there are times when a shower might improve the aroma, but I, for one, am tired of choking on men’s colognes.
-Bald is Beautiful. We need to tell the men in our lives that we certainly perceive baldness differently than they do. They may be mourning their lost youth or whatever it is that causes them to stand at the mirror trying different hairstyles, some of which make it oh so much worse. But when a female sees that reflection of the top of his crown she thinks, “Testosterone!”
How in the world did we ever let the metrosexuals out there rob us of good ole masculine men?
Whatever happened to the idea that vanity was the worst trait a man could possess, so much more contemptible than an unshaven chin or a hairy back?
What we need to do, gals, is savor the flavor of the men in our lives. And thank them for being men.
Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas in a home where testosterone currently outnumbers estrogen 2 to 1. Comments are welcomed at CeaKrafve2@aol.com.
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