Bald is Beautiful

“Bald is Beautiful.” That’s one of my many mottos.
Personally, as a memory-challenged person, I find mottos helpful. They keep our brains focused.
Oh yeah, this column is not about mottos; it is about men.
Those masculine creatures.
Have you noticed how vanity has become fashionable for men lately?
Remember the good ole days when men would rather face a firing squad than admit privately, much less publicly, that they were in any way concerned about their appearance?
Seeing them wax a man’s chest on television was what first made me shockingly aware of how far we have drifted. Ouch!
So, I am calling on all my gal friends of a certain age to redeem this astonishing situation. Here is my list of helpful mottos to bring our men folk back to masculine reality:
-Hairy Chests Represent Accomplishment. Remember when, as a high school girl, you first noticed that one of your class mates had hair sticking out of his collar? What an accomplishment! The rest of the boys at school could only hope they would have hair on their chest before they got their college diplomas.
-Back Hair is Bearish. There are certain things in life that I, as a female, will never be able to do. Fortunately, growing hair on my back is one of them.
-Mustaches are Marvelous. Do you guys have any idea how much trouble gals have to go to get rid of any shadow of hair on our upper lips? There is no end of products available at the drug store for ridding women of mustaches. I say, if you forget to shave, fellas, count your blessings.
-Men Have a Masculine Smell. Granted, there are times when a shower might improve the aroma, but I, for one, am tired of choking on men’s colognes.
-Bald is Beautiful. We need to tell the men in our lives that we certainly perceive baldness differently than they do. They may be mourning their lost youth or whatever it is that causes them to stand at the mirror trying different hairstyles, some of which make it oh so much worse. But when a female sees that reflection of the top of his crown she thinks, “Testosterone!”
How in the world did we ever let the metrosexuals out there rob us of good ole masculine men?
Whatever happened to the idea that vanity was the worst trait a man could possess, so much more contemptible than an unshaven chin or a hairy back?
What we need to do, gals, is savor the flavor of the men in our lives. And thank them for being men.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in East Texas in a home where testosterone currently outnumbers estrogen 2 to 1. Comments are welcomed at CeaKrafve2@aol.com.