Golf – the Addiction

Have you ever noticed how addictive golf is? Well, only a nongolfer would even ask such a silly question, right? What is it about the sport that inspires such fierce determination to commit to the pursuit of a ball clearly sized for the sole purpose of making a person crazy? Obsession is the only word to describe it.
How is it after only a few short months as a columnist, I find that I have already devoted so many column inches to a game I have never played? I find myself inserting the g-word into my writing simply because it ensures that some fellow golf-obsessed reader out there will be sure to email me. Am I really that desperate for mail or is it just that the sport holds the irresistible promise of camaraderie?
Clearly, there is a need for Golfers Anonymous. Since I am obviously not the first person to think of it, I researched the idea on the internet. Did you know that there were endless results for the entry “golfers anonymous”? I think some of them were even serious. Really.
There are even several entries for Disc Golfers Anonymous. Actually, that one didn’t surprise me that much. I know some of those disc golfers and they’ve got a serious obsession.
Personally, I think we need to start a chapter of GA in East Texas. That will give us the perfect excuse to come together and discuss our common handicap. For spouses, there needs to be a Golf Anon so that they can deal with the consequences of being emotionally abandoned in favor of the links.
Has anyone coined the acronym OCGD, i.e. obsessive compulsive golf disorder? I hate to treat the subject lightly because this could be serious.
I think we should start a self-help group for OCGD sufferers. We could establish a magazine with helpful articles and we could write pamphlets. I volunteer to write them for free, not that I’m obsessed or anything. We could form a non-profit organization and hold golf tournaments as fund-raisers. Um, well, okay, maybe not.
One of my favorite listings on the internet stated that “Golfers Anonymous is a fellowship of hackers who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem….”
I tried to visit their web site, but I suspect those folks are too busy picking out their next set of clubs to update their website.
So, what is the real issue is behind a golf obsession? Undoubtedly, it has to be the golf cart. Where is the sane person who can resist such a sporty little temptation? True recovery definitely has to include resisting the urge to sit behind the wheel and floor it.
In order to recover from Obsessive Compulsive Golf Disorder, I can only add the following advice; it is necessary to take it one swing at a time…no, no, I meant one day at a time. Really.
Silly me, all this time I just thought it was a game that provided the perfect excuse to walk around outside with your buddies and drive those darling little carts.

Cathy Primer Krafve lives with her family in East Texas where the beautiful lakes, rolling green hills, and sandy spots make it golfing paradise. Contact her at CAEKrafve2@aol.com.