Chauvinism vs. Chivalry

Raising boys is really tricky. Particularly for a mom who never happened to ever be a boy herself. Don’t ya just find it hard to relate to your son’s needs and wants?
I never once in all my life felt the need to roll around with a bunch of other boys, like puppies, wrastlin’ and barkin’.
I never once thought that digging a 6x6 foot hole in the back yard was a terrific way to spend the afternoon.
Also, showering was a regular part of my daily hygiene, not a weekly event brought on after much cajoling and bribing.
Still, as unsuited as I am, I find myself raising this remarkable boy who is minutes away from being a man.
So, how do you figure out which things are gonna matter when he’s grown?
Here are a couple of principles that seem to matter at our house.
-What’s the difference between a bully and a pest? Size, that’s all.
A small boy who annoyingly taps your shoulder to get your attention is a pest, even if he is frustrated. Give that same boy a few years, a few pounds, and a few feet of growth and you have a bully. Especially if he happens to be frustrated when he is trying to get your attention.
Little gals tend to get away with provocative behaviors because they tend to stay smaller than their male counterparts.
Have you noticed that there are whole curriculums directed at bullying now? My thought is the behaviors are a lot easier to catch and correct when the guys, or gals, are still small people.
-What the difference between chauvinism vs. chivalry? Insecurity that’s all.
It is not strength, but insecurity, that makes a man feel the need to dominate the people around him.
On the other hand, a confident, chivalrous man is aware of his strength and alert for opportunities to serve others. I’m not talking about just opening doors here folks.
Insecurity turns out to be a big thing in determining the way a man, or a woman for that matter, will act.
Male or Female, insecurity has a knack for making us do really dumb stuff in our relationships.
So, how do we cure our sons of insecurity? How do we point them in the right direction?
I suspect that the simple answer is to encourage him to do the hard stuff. Conquering fear and insecurity builds confidence.
Easy to say, as a mom, a lot harder to do.
I’m always on the look-out for good suggestions when it comes to raising boys, folks, so I hope you’ll write in and share what experience has taught you.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives in beautiful East Texas with her family. Comments are welcome at CaeKrafve2@aol.com.