Meals on Wheels: Recipe for Service

Fruit salads are one of my favorite treats next to turkey or ham around the holidays.

Another treat is eating at Meals on Wheels.

I bet you didn’t know that Meals on Wheels occasionally hosts club luncheon meetings for organizations interested in knowing more about their efforts.

“Meals on Wheels Ministry, Inc. serves a daily meal to nearly 3,500 frail, homebound senior citizens and disabled persons every weekday in East Texas.

These meals are prepared fresh at the central kitchen located at 3001 Robertson Road, Tyler, TX, “ according to www.mealsonwheelseasttexas.org. “The meals are then home-delivered by compassionate volunteers to eligible persons who cannot provide meals for themselves. Often this is the only meal they will have that day.”

When Mike Powell and his staff served up this fabulous Waldorf salad along with lunch for a recent meeting of the Bethesda Alliance luncheon, I asked for the recipe to share with readers. It’s the best Waldorf I ever put in my mouth.

Monarch Mayonnaise’s Waldorf Salad

2/3 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup mayonnaise

3 Tbsp. sour cream

2 Tbsp. lemon juice

1 tsp. sugar

4 Granny Smith apples, cut into ½ inch cubes

1 1/3 cup thinly sliced celery

1 1/3 cup red grapes, halved

¼ cup candied pecans, for garnish

Mix all ingredients, except the pecans, together in a mixing bowl, until uniform. Cover and refrigerate until needed. Serve on a bed of fresh bib lettuce. Sprinkle the candied pecans on top for garnish.

While I was munching on lunch, I learned another interesting fact about Meals on Wheals. Did you know that you don’t have to be impoverished to enjoy having a meal delivered to your home? If you have a loved one who could benefit from the service and can afford to pay for the meals, Meals on Wheals will deliver your lunch at a prorated fee.

They even have grateful customers and families who subsidize other, less fortunate customers’ lunches with a regular donation.

Making Meals on Wheels a perfect example of the motto: “Serve people and success will follow.”

In Bullard, the plan is to collaborate with the Bullard library to put in a kitchen that can act as a southern staging point for Meals on Wheels delivery.

If you ask me, this is one more reason to support efforts to build the new library building in Bullard.

To volunteer for Meals on Wheels or for more information, contact Executive Director Mike Powell at 903.593.7385 or go to their website at www.mealsonwheelseasttexas.org.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Night Before Hunter’s Christmas

I am not much of a poet, as you will see if you read further.

My apologies.

Hunting season and the holidays collide this time every year and all Texas women know what that means.

In case you are giving your husband a utensil useful for hunting, like say a gun, this Christmas, this little ditty can serve as an incentive to send your husband on a scavenger hunt that is sure to entertain your children and other loved ones.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.

The children were tucked in and trembling with fear because a cowboy was loose and protecting their gear.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with glee and there was amo beribboned and under the tree.

Other folks get golf clubs, fishing rods, and the occasional book.

Not at this house; no, take another look.

The gun safe is locked with its dangerous load.

Nothing new there, so don’t bother with the code.

With another weapon, we’ll all feel more secure.

You’ll be the envy of all alpha males, that’s for sure.

Burglars, be warned: Best stay out of sight!

This Christmas is protected and locked up tight!

Santa is jolly and his message is blunt:

Merry Christmas to all and to all a safe hunt!

I’m sure my husband is hoping the hunt for a new gun will become an annual Christmas morning tradition.

Personally, I think a good novel and a box of chocolates are more in keeping with the peaceful sentiments of the season.

Bambi agrees with me.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Gun Safety; a Mom’s most-feared the oxymoron

A kid brought a BB gun on a Bullard school bus causing a serious stir on the rumor mill among worried parents, but fortunately no other disturbances.

Thanks to the alert and quick handling by school officials, and some well thought out policies and training, we are not reporting a tragedy in this week’s paper.

When I heard the rumors, my first thought was: There but for the grace of God go I.

My husband was in charge of gun safety at our house because, well, bluntly my dad did such a good job on gun safety over 40 years ago that I am paranoid of guns to this day.

Gun safety is an oxymoron, if you ask me.

Thank heavens God gave my children two parents because my husband has a more judicious, less hysterical approach.

I never worried about our daughters, too much, being hormonally predisposed to a sensible, practical approach to weapons.

In fact, one of our daughters recently finished her Concealed Handgun License, or CHL. I love to brag about her perfect score on the target shooting section of the training.

Her daddy rewarded her by buying her a sleek, small black handgun that looks like a toy. I have no idea how it feels cus I won’t get near it.

Knowing she is licensed to carry actually makes me sleep sounder at night.

My son is getting there, too, but that hasn’t always been the case.

As a 3-year-old, he would slip out of the house and stop traffic with his plastic cowboy pistols. The main danger was to his mother who suffered serious panic attacks on multiple occasions with that kid’s adventures.

Fortunately, the neighbors quickly grew to anticipate the unexpected and graciously proceeded with extreme caution while he outgrew the sheriff stage.

We took the obvious precautions with our guns.

-We locked them in a gun safe with a combination, not a key, lock.

-I insisted on trigger locks on each and every gun inside the safe.

-We kept the ammo in a separate, secure place on the other side of the house.

Our kids know “All guns are always loaded, even the ones you think are unloaded.” They also know to get the heck out of Dodge if they see anyone holding a gun in an unsafe way or place. Run, don’t walk.

We live in Texas. People keep as many guns as they keep Bibles in their homes. And that’s a lot.

But for heaven’s sakes, there are things you can do to keep guns out of the hands of children.

Do so, or suffer serious personal consequences, folks.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Putting the Profit in Non-profit

All successful organizations are purpose-driven.

Whether it’s a good cause or just having fun, a shared sense of purpose is what unites people.

Unfortunately, with the recession, many non-profits are checking their budget and squirming for lack of funds, even those groups who are united around a worthy purpose.

With so many inexpensive booths available at fairs and festivals this fall, a booth is an excellent way to get the word out about your organization AND pick up some spare change.

But what to sell? Anything that is fun to buy.

That especially includes any paraphernalia pertaining to hobbies and sports, like:

-Hunting (pocketknives, camo hunting vests, ammo belts),

-Fishing (lures; antique lures, rods, or tackle boxes),

-Auto, Boat, and Motorcycle accessories (special cleansers or chamois, flashlights, gadgets, gizmos, and guy stuff),

-Grilling (small recipe books created by your organization, tools like tongs or spatulas, spice packages),

-Golf (golf balls or towels with funny sayings, emergency medical kits with sunscreen and band aids and funny “remedies” for bad golf days).

If you still need ideas for what people want to buy, here are a few more suggestions:

-Spend the day at Canton with some club members and search for ideas.

-Walmart has a whole aisles of ideas of stuff that people want to buy, especially the “impulse” displays that always catch me right before the cash register.

-Don’t miss a chance for members to clean out their attics and re-purpose gently used stuff to raise funds for your group.

-Why not plan a special fundraiser dinner for a few days later and sell tickets at your booth?

Finally, most importantly, new members mean new income in dues and donations, so don’t forget to recruit. Come prepared with brochures that clearly state the purpose of your organization.

Having enthusiastic volunteers ready to answer questions will make recruitment more successful. Have clipboards with membership applications ready that include contact info like email, phone, and address.

If you offer a discount to anyone joining that day, you may find that new members are eager to write a check for membership dues on the spot. Be sure to have a lock box available and a member assigned to be responsible for it.

In fact, if you plan your booth strategy well, you may find your next big project is training new members and figuring out what to do with all that extra cash.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Newspaper Journalism and Other Crazy Adventures

This, written specifically for the Bullard Banner, I'm posting in honor of Mrs. Vining's Journalism class at BHS, a collection of young people with extensive vocabularies and highly developed senses of humor.

The world revolved around Bullard, Texas this week.

For those of us who love this sleepy little community any little ripple in the pond matters.

Take the fact that a tiny, but darling little Kindergartner started her first week of school with her blond hair brushed to a sheen and her blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. The class of 2022 arrived for class this week with wiggles and trembles and giggles.

What is Libby looking forward to most about the upcoming 12-year education career initiated this week?

“You get to hear stories,” she answered without hesitation.

Reminds me of a shiny-eyed twenty-something art teacher Sarah Dupree who happens to be Libby’s aunt. She started her first day of school this week, too, at Brook Hill.

Welcome to the world of the Banner where everybody has a story to tell or an important part to perform, like for instance the Baby Belles and the Boys and Girls Club members.

Of course, you may notice that I am NOT known for my photography skills. Consider this your invitation to document the daily blessings of our community, especially with your camera. My heartfelt thanks to all those who emailed pictures this week. What would I do without you!

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Like Libby, my favorite part of the adventure is hearing the stories.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

What if? Abortion and Immigration May be Related Issues

What if we asked God to raise up an army of believers to bring justice to a difficult social injustice and - pause - He DID it?

What if we prayed for something and God gave us exactly what we wanted but wrapped it up in a box that we didn’t recognize?

I’m afraid there is a lot more to the topic of immigration that many Republican pro-life candidates and elected officials may be missing.

I was fortunate to attend the Texas Press Association summer conference one week after attending the Texas Republican Convention.

What a study in contrasts!

My brain was on overload by the time we left the GOP even though I heard later from friends that we missed more raucous discussion on the floor of the last general session.

One young friend shared how surprising it was to hear grown men have “temper tantrums” while amplifying it over a microphone. Clearly, it was his first convention. Welcome to American politics as usual.

A week later at the TPA a friend reminded me comfortingly that US politics was a “bloodbath” back in the 1800s, too, an era that this newspaper man/author often researches in his personal time.

In spite of the fact that downright meanness seems to be the standard of American politics, I’m tired of unkindness masquerading as “truth.” Truth can be plainly spoken without being vitriolic.

Being a passionate – okay, opinionated - person myself I too get the self-indulgent temptation to speak bluntly without taking a 10 second pause to measure the effect of my words on those hearing them. I try to keep in mind that while God is All-knowing, I’m not. And neither are any of our office-holding, public servants.

Usually, I enjoy the rough and ready nature of Texas politics.

But this time the stakes are high.

As one Texan friend with Latina heritage confided, “No one is in favor of abortion.” Then she added that rhetoric on immigration is “hateful.”

What if, hearing our entreaties for help in the effort to curtail and eliminate abortions in this country, God decided to send a deluge of hard-working, God-fearing people to our aid?

But what if in the complicated, often heart-rending issues surrounding immigration, we failed to recognize the prize? What if in our frustration we failed to have the useful and constructive public conversations that will produce solutions regarding immigration and, instead, settled for sound bites?

What if we simply told God, “Never mind, I’ve decided I’d rather keep my wallet in my pocket. What I asked You for is going to cost me too much in taxes?”

Just a thought.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Highway 155 Dives

Okay, folks, the lake is calling East Texans.

Yep, the sun is shining and it’s time to drive the byways, take in the wild flower covered rolling hills, and head to the country. If you are going my way, down Highway 155 towards Lake Palestine, here are the places we love to eat.

Starting at Loop 323 and heading for Frankston:

Scooter Pete’s. Browse past all the motorcycle paraphernalia and belly up at owners Denise “Nisee” and Pete Mauk’s Iron Horse Grill for a fabulous breakfast served ‘til 11pm or order the Andre Burger, a cheeseburger topped with a fried egg, all day long, Mondays through Saturdays. You can order it with a side of some of the best hash browns in East Texas. 903.581.0810

Noonday Store. What would we do without our regular fix of their addictive chicken sandwich smothered in grilled green peppers and onions, their Angus beef hamburgers, or one of their daily plate lunch specials? I get cravings for the cobblers. Order ahead and take homemade yeast rolls for parties. 903.534.9498.

Purple Pig. My favorite thing on the menu is the tender slices of slow-grilled turkey breast, but I bet you’ll also love the barbeque beef, pulled pork, or the random nights when owner Shane Swan boils up crawfish. 903.825.6800.

Star Bar-B-Q. Just past the last bridge, as we say in these parts, don’t blink or you’ll miss Lane Mills’ barbeque joint where ribs etcetera share the grill with pulled pork. They just added a new deck, but check out the recliners inside, too. Cigars are welcome and draft beer is served. 903.876.2209

Lake Palestine Marina. Most romantic destination in our area if your idea of a romantic meal out is a steamy cup of coffee accompanied with a perfect omelet, bacon, and hash browns soaked in ketchup. All with a view of the lake. Larry and his wife have years of experience in the resort business and it shows in their hospitality. 903.825.3600.

Maxwell’s Drug Store. Old folks like me remember when the best place to get a chicken salad sandwich was at the soda shop at any small town pharmacy. The problem is, most modern pharmacies no longer have food counters. Unless you are in Frankston, of course. The Soda Shoppe, at he back of Maxwell’s, features daily lunch specials like homemade chicken enchiladas or baked pork chops, but who can resist their chicken salad? 903.876.2323.

If your idea of a dive is icky, dirty, or out of the way, these spots are not for you. Or if you are looking for honky tonks.

I’m defining “dive” here as unexpected, fun, family-friendly, AND definitely clean; or I’d never talk my husband into stopping.

Our family hopes you support these 155 Dives. See ya there!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Media, Microphones, and Messages

Never trust me with a microphone.

Close friends know better.

But I recently got handed a mike at the last minute because the real MC was double-booked. Oh yeah! Woo woo!

The best part was the crowd was heavily loaded with media people.

We were working together on an event to raise money and awareness for the way HIV/AIDS is affecting East Texans from all walks of life. Not necessarily a popular topic in these parts.

Now I’m going to share with you the thoughts that popped into my head at the same moment they trusted me with that microphone. Just cus 4^th of July is when I spout off about newspapers, truth, justice, and the American way.

Here’s the deal. We live in an area known for generosity. We take for granted the zillions of non-profits, church programs, and foundations that work diligently to make our communities amazingly blessed. Not to mention all the volunteer hours contributed toward good causes.

It is just part of what we all know and enjoy around here.

What hit me like a ton of bricks that evening was how much the media gets taken for granted in all this community service.

Because who would have time for volunteering if someone didn’t hold corrupt public officials accountable?

How would we know that we could count on good infrastructure in our towns and counties, freeing us to travel our roads and get where we’re going unencumbered by graft and corruption that plagues other countries, if not for our watchdog friends in the press?

And who would report the truth if there are whispers of inappropriate uses of donations in local charities or governments?

Yep, we enjoy our gatherings in peace and tranquility without ever considering how much the local press contributes to the well-being of our communities.

We read the front page with glee when we see our favorite charity honored with a lengthy article there, yet we seldom consider that all that paper and ink and overhead costs money. Do we think to support the local media with some advertising dollars now and then?

So I took the mike enthusiastically and spoke for all East Texans, thanking the local press for making their unique contribution to our communities.

And I am officially thanking this newspaper in today’s column.

Preach it, sister!

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Truth, Justice, and the American Way

Justice is something Americans take for granted.

Like last week’s newspaper, we don’t think about it at all unless we need it for some reason.

But when we suffer an injustice, we suddenly crave justice, we search it out, and we complain if we can’t get it. And we keep complaining. Sometimes for years. For as long as it takes.

Last year, I got to be useful in a small way that mattered to me personally; I was part of a team that accomplished a little moment of historic justice. My part was a small thing. I just wrote a story that needed to be told.

It was printed in a little weekly paper that people tend to take for granted by an editor who, like all editors, happens to be underpaid.

The real hero was the man who was chosen, along with the only other three African Americans involved, to fill the draft quota for Henderson County out of a pool of 22 young men during the Vietnam era. Only four men were needed to fill the quota. The only four men chosen were the four black guys out of the twenty-two possible men. All the white guys went home to their mamas that day.

Coincidence that those four names were randomly drawn? Dumb luck? Not likely.

You almost had to live through the civil rights era to get how pernicious racism can be.

If you missed the story, my friend lived through the war and developed an attitude that reminds me of Joseph, “What you intended for evil, God intended for good.” He is a true American hero.

Justice is something we take for granted.

We read our newspaper and we don’t even think about how the stories affect our culture. How they make us all aware of injustices and provide an opportunity for communities to come together and address problems, to right wrongs.

Our forefathers made the FIRST amendment Freedom of Speech simply because a free culture depends on truth. Our local press – unencumbered by government jurisdiction - gives us an avenue to express our love of a vibrant community conversation.

Sometimes, justice is accomplished like a sigh of relief – without courts or law enforcement – simply because someone finally spoke up and said what we all knew to be true.

Our local newspaper is a place to declare what we believe to be true and self-evident.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Blame Now; Credit Later

“I’ll take the blame now because it will be credit later,” said the father of my children, amidst the protests of an unhappy family including me.

Now we quote him on a regular basis when decisions require a backbone.

My own dad has some gem-dandy ways of making us think.

“Will it matter in two years?” was his favorite response whenever I worried about the trials teenagers face in high school.

When folks are unkind to us now, I quote my dad to my kids as we walk away. “They probably have hemorrhoids,” was his way of telling us as kids to be patient because you never know what personal stuff might be going on in someone’s life to make ‘em cranky.

Since college students often get bogged down in choosing what they believe to be their life-long career, my dad also gave my kiddoes some sage advice when they started college, “Set a goal and change it if you change your mind.” He told them that in the long run they would get farther by moving ahead, rather than wavering in uncertainty.

What are some other favorite words from dads?

"I love you and I'm proud of you!" answered a friend of mine who is well respected in newspaper circles, is an ex-coach, and happens to be a nurturing person himself.

Another well-known and well-loved friend wrote this: "There are many... but first comes to mind the very last words he spoke to me. The day before he died, I was sitting on his hospital bed. He leaned over, hugged me, and said, "I'm proud of you, sugar.""

It seems there is a correlation between nurturing dads and success, doesn’t there?

Speaking of success and wise perspectives, one friend added this: "After dropping by yesterday and getting up to leave (his dad said)- "No need to hurry, why don't you stay a little longer?""

“Are you okay?” is the first question that my husband remembers clearly when as a teenager he called his dad to report that he had just wrecked the car.

Which brings me back to my husband’s comment about blame and credit.

Dads who are willing to take a hit - out of conviction about what is best for their kids - get kudos at the finish line.

Happy Father’s Day to all, especially my own dad.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

How to Raise Faithful Kids

Our family adopted a beautiful, smart black and white Border Collie from a rescue shelter for our son when his big sisters left for college a few years ago.

We brainstormed and came up with a list of fifty or so names, including terrific choices like “Scout” from To Kill a Mockingbird.

“Lucy. I want to name my dog after my wife,” demanded the 8-year-old, proud new owner of man’s best friend.

I’m not sure how that’s going to work out, but the dog’s name is Lucy. Up until that moment, it had also been his prayer nickname for his future spouse.

So, how do you teach a child to care about someone they haven’t met yet?

-Teach your kids the true answers to the question, “How does God define marriage?” This includes answers to questions like, “When is a marriage official in God’s sight?” and “What are God’s purposes for marriage?”

-Don’t wait until they are teenagers to think and talk about their future spouses. Begin today.

-Be reasonable and consistent about dating. All kids need some social interaction, but do they really need to be alone as a couple in a car? Group activities are so much healthier and more practical than pairing up.

-Set a high standard for yourself as a parent. Be strict with yourself about how you interact with your co-workers and friends of the opposite sex.

-Say encouraging things to your kids, like “Your future spouse is out there right this minute” or “Your school friends may be the ones to introduce you to your future spouse” or my personal favorite, “Would you really want your friends telling her that you crushed on every girl in middle school?”

-Have fun as a family. Welcome your children into the social aspects of your life when they are small and they’ll be more likely to include you in their lives when they are teens. Make life fun.

I can’t wait to meet my future daughter-in-law. I just hope her name isn’t really Lucy. It could be awkward.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Nice Girls and Sexual Harassment

What in the world is wrong with this character?!

I was entranced at a party recently as a twenty-something friend put off the advances of a too attentive young man.

I wanted her to bust his chops and put an end to our misery, but she was way too nice.

He was so focused that he didn’t notice that her friends, and at least one middle-aged mom-type, were paying close attention to his every move.

I have another twenty-something friend who quit her job rather than confront a guy at work who came on too strong.

So, here’s what I have to say to nice girls, “Quit being so nice!”

How? Here are some suggestions:

-Carry a knife in your purse. Nothing says “get out of my bubble” like cleaning your fingernails with a big, macho pocketknife. Just remember to leave it at home when you go to the airport.

-Ask a simple question, “Did you play football?” No matter how he answers the question, twirl around in “stiff arm” position and explain that he is taking a chance if he gets any closer than that.

-Sneak attacks? Don’t you just hate it when guys think they can approach you from the back and get in uncomfortably close? There’s a simple solution to that problem. Twist around quickly, put a knee in his groin and then say, “Oops! Did I hurt you?”

-Door strategy. If the guy stands in the doorframe of your car to prevent you from leaving, hit the alarm button on your key fob. Then say, “Back up please, I am leaving. NOW. That’s the signal.”

-Psychological warfare. Any guy that says, “You’re not nice,” is being manipulative. Your answer to that is “No, I am certainly NOT nice. Thank you for noticing.”

-Clarify the rules. Say exactly what you want him to know. For example, “Did I say you could enter my personal bubble?”

Most of the time you can clarify the rules with a simple statement as long as you smile. If you don’t laugh people will feel threatened, especially if you are cleaning your fingernails or picking your teeth with your bad-ass knife.

One last thought, if your mother would be offended about the way he’s acting, you should be, too. And it is best to let him know it. With a nice smile, of course.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Dyslexia is a Blessing

Dyslexia is a blessing.

It does not seem that way in 1st and 2nd grade when your child comes home with big red X’s on his paper because he wrote a 2 where his brain was thinking of a 6.

It does not seem that way in 3rd grade when he’s the only one in the classroom who can’t read his assignments so you are spending your weekends catching him up by reading each and every chapter to him out of textbooks.

There was a day when ISD administrations were slow to take up the issue of dyslexia because it represented a new expense, another burden. Fifteen or twenty years ago, a handful of parents fought hard to make special training for dyslexic students happen in our area.

What a blessing for those of us who have come afterward.

Fortunately those parents discovered a fabulous program, developed by Scottish Rite which is now the benchmark for all that followed.

“Dyslexia is a learning disorder that affects approximately 10 percent of children,” according to the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children website, http://www.tsrhc.org/dyslexia-educator-center.htm. “Those diagnosed with dyslexia have trouble connecting sounds to letter symbols. This affects the way children with dyslexia learn to read and spell.”

“Well, no dah!” I would have shouted at my computer screen a few years ago, fearing my son would never read, never keyboard, never have a chance at college.

“Children with dyslexia can learn to read and be successful despite their learning differences. Fortunately, major strides have been made in understanding the language-based disorder, many of them at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children,” says the article.

Dyslexia does not seem like a blessing at first. It seemed overwhelming.

Therein lies the problem: We tend to protect our children from any form of discomfort. Most parents, including me, don’t usually see challenges as a blessing.

Especially if those challenges involve making the parent (me) uncomfortable!

Later, when we begin to see how much fortitude our dyslexic child has gained in the process of learning to compensate, suddenly our viewpoint may start to change.

When we see success.

When we see his willingness to work harder than everybody else. Then the realization dawns that dyslexia has turned out to be a blessing.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Pigeon Prose

Being a columnist is a lot like being an elementary school teacher in this; as much as you try to do your best with each one, sometimes you can’t help but choose your favorites.

AND other columnists send me their own favorites.

I’ve read some doozies; for instance, one about a beloved fat feline that brought tears to my eyes or the one about teenagers that reminded me that all parents are in the same boat…um…car.

Don Comedy, retired newspaperman and a wonderfully witty wordsmith, sent me this gem and I asked him if I could share.

After a vacation from writing, following the sale of the Haskell, Texas Free Press where Don served as Editor and Publisher for 24 years, he’s back at the keyboard.

So here’s the Checklist Charlie pick for particularly pleasing playful pigeon prose. Don writes:

“I recently learned of a $60,000 grant to control pigeons in Hollywood, CA and that the preferred method of control by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) was some type of birth control pill. Most of my friends being more of the ‘red-neck’ type however, seem to trend more toward pellet guns.

Now, I’m sure that PETA would much prefer the “pill” over the “pellet”, but in either event, the costs would probably be about the same if you actually paid the pill pushers or the pellet shooters.

One serious potential problem with the “pill” would be in dispensing to pigeons that prefer to perch on Catholic buildings. While PETA prefers the pill, the Pope has previously preached in opposition to the pill. Surely that preference would include the Catholic pigeons that perch on parish parapets.

Now, the Catholics might be ok with the “pellet”, but PETA won’t.

Which causes one to ponder….

If the Pope prefers the “pellet” and PETA prefers the “pill”, how many pigeons could St. Peter pellet, while PETA peddles pills?”

Don’s now in Austin, working as a lobbyist, which is a loss to the newspaper industry.

One of his first jobs while he was still in high school was working as an intern for LBJ. Some of his later adventures in the political arena involve flying all over west Texas in a antiquated two-seater plane with one of his childhood buddies to help his friend get elected to his first regional office. That guy’s now the governor.

Their friendship continues and Comedy still sings praises for Perry’s public service.

Personally, the pigeons and I would like it if Don would take a few months off and write a book. He seems to understand that we have issues.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Girl Scout Cookies

My New Year’s diet always has an expiration date. It ends March 1.

That’s inevitably when I run into the first Girl Scout Troup selling boxes of temptation outside the grocery store.

You know what I’m talking about. Those adorable girls in their matching costumes, giggling and chatting behind folding tables, working hard to earn money for a good cause; they make succumbing to temptation feel downright righteous.

All of which would NOT be such a high-caloric problem if only I was willing to share.

Let’s face it; those cookies are so addictive that you cannot possibly open a box without eating each and every crumb.

It requires a strategy to get even one cookie once your family discovers that you have purchased a box.

Fortunately, a long and delicious life has taught me a thing or two about getting my fair share of the Girl Scout Cookies.

First, buy at least ten boxes every time you run into the girls. It’s for a good cause.

Second, when you get home wrap all the Thin Mints in brown paper bags and hide them in the back of the freezer.

Next, throw the family off the scent by putting all the Dosidos in plain sight in the front of the freezer.

Finally, put several boxes of Trefoils out on the counter as if you are an unselfish mom who intended to share.

And, just in case your family is onto your tricks, eat a whole box of Thin Mints in the parking lot before you leave the grocery store.

Favorite uses of Girl Scout Cookies:

-Sneaking two boxes into the movie theater on date night (not that I’ve ever done that.)

-Bringing them to school functions with the comment, “You know I don’t cook, but…” Believe me, no one cares that you don’t do homemade.

-Using them as a bribe for just about anything you want your family to do, as in “There could be a box of Girl Scout Cookies in it for you if you help me with my technology.”

I was disappointed to learn that the young man who mows our grass only takes Girl Scout Cookies as a tip, not full payment.

Back in January, I made a near fatal mistake of running into some early sellers in a different part of the state. Did you know that Girl Scout Cookies are released at different times in different parts of Texas? Who knew?

Personally, I think there should be a warning label on each box: “Could be dangerous for your diet if you are traveling.”

The moral of this story is simple: Don’t leave East Texas between Jan 1 and March 1. Stay where it’s safe.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

Less Fat, More life

DIET is a four-letter word.

Imagine the frustration that word is stirring up in the heart of a teenager who was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure; a problem that temporarily bumped him out of the sports he loves and landed him in the hospital. Bummer.

Life is not fair.

His mom happens to have a friend who is a self-trained expert on how to fail at every diet. That would be me. I have a wealth of unwanted experience about trimming the fat and upping the nutritional value of my calories.

In honor of my friend’s son, here are the things that turn out to be kinda easy:

-Google all the fast food restaurants and pick out one item you like on each menu that is less than 300 calories, maybe a little more for guys. That way you’ll have a “safe” choice when you are hanging out with your friends. You’ll be surprised; who knew a small cup of slaw could pack a whopping 600 calories.

-Pick out a sugarless jam or jelly to eat on your toast instead of butter. This can cure a sweet tooth.

-Spread a teaspoon of peanut butter or Neufchatel on a whole-wheat cracker or flat pretzels if you find yourself craving fat. Or choose avocado because it will give you a dose of potassium and you can add onions and tomatoes and have guacamole.

-Teenagers always love Rotel dip, but add a can of vegetarian refried beans and at least get a little real food in there with the Velveeta.

-Keep boiled eggs in the fridge. Cut them in half and throw away half the yoke.

-My friend who is a personal trainer tells me that people who are successful at losing weight keep diaries of what they eat each day. I can’t seem to be that organized more than one week at a time, so I just do it every other week. To me, overeating is a lot like when folks quit smoking for a week, that’s still a week less lung pollution or a week of eating for good health. It can’t hurt.

-Find some easy, crock pot recipes, like lo-cal lo-fat soups, so when you walk in your door tired and hungry the smell that greets you will be temptingly healthy.

-Invest in a sturdy, non-stick skillet.

-Experiment to find the changes your family might not notice, like tossing a few tablespoons of bran or oatmeal into your regular baking recipes. Or replacing some of the butter with small amounts of olive oil.

No, there’s nothing earth shaking on this list; just a few easy changes that your family might be willing to swallow, like drinking more water and less soda pop.

Who knows? A few less calories today might mean a longer, healthier life for the whole family.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

True Love and the Wow Factor

How do you know when its true love?

Sometime between Valentine’s Day and spring weddings, every single gal on the planet finds herself asking that all-important, suspense-filled question.

The answer is simple. It’s the wow factor.

Of course, men and women are wowed by different things.

We’ve all seen the gorgeous, super-model girl with the short, bespectacled guy. Men never understand how that happens but, of course, women get it.

“It’s 30% looks + 30% personality + 30% intellect + 10% bonus stuff,” says one very wise gal I know, explaining it like a math formula.

Bonus stuff is nonessential, but fun extras like bilingual, athletic, rich, ambitious, musical; you get the idea.

If a guy plays the guitar that’s an unfair advantage because no woman on the planet can resist a strummy love song.

I may be wrong but I think the guys’ formula is straight up: 100% looks.

That’s probably why men think we are complicated, ladies; our equation involves addition.

Men-in-love are a fascinating species, especially East Texas men. Trained to hunt from the time they are tots, our young fellows study up on their intended with dedication and devotion that borders stalking.

That, too, seems unfair because we all know that no young woman on the planet can resist the attention of a cute guy.

Gals, if a guy is not intense about you, or if you are doing too much work to keep his interest, he is not your Mr. Right. I say dump him immediately because he’s just standing between you and The One. Plus, single gals have a lot more fun and freedom without a half-hearted suitor driving ‘em crazy. And I respectfully suggest that he’s got better things to do than waste his time with you.

All this presupposes faith because fear is no way to build a relationship.

Personally, since I don’t do math, I have a right-brain theory. It involves a little science.

“Trust the Chemistry of the Universe.”

According to this theory of science and the laws of attraction, since the Designer of the Universe is Good, somehow, when we meet “the one,” our strengths will gel. Our weaknesses will serve to help us mature. Eventually. With a lot of prayer probably.

There will even be fire-works. Hopefully, mostly the good kind.

There are some women who will argue my theory about chemistry because they seem to be magnets for every naughty boy within 100 miles.

For those ladies, I have an amended hypothesis, “Trust the Chemistry, but DON’T check your brain at the door!”

And try to enjoy the suspense.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.

The Painless Perfect Pizza Crust List

Nothing says welcome home like pizza! Or TV night in front of the fireplace.

This time of year, warm homemade pizza is a family night waiting to happen, especially if the crust is easy and everybody pitches in to create individual designer pizzas.

The secret to a good crust is in greasing the pan with olive oil and sprinkling it with corn meal instead of flour.

Here’s a list of easy crusts available in our local grocery stores. Pre-made crusts are easiest, of course, but the mixes are easy, too, and have the advantage of saving money. 1 star means no thanks, 5 stars means Bon appétit!

-Jiffy Pizza Crust Mix. Tastes too much like Bisquick for our family. Serves 1 teenage boy. 2 stars.

-Valutime Crispy Pizza Crust Mix. The kids liked this one best, but the adults thought it was too limp. Serves 1 teenage boy. 3 stars.

-Martha White Pizza Crust Thin & Crispy Mix. This was the adult favorite because it held its shape and tasted of yeast, instead of baking soda. Serves 1 teenage boy. 4 stars.

-Pillsbury Pizza Crust Classic. This one is definitely the easiest, but most expensive of the ones you have to spread yourself. It has a good texture, but tastes a little biscuit-y for me. Serves 2 teenage boys. 3 stars.

-Brookshire’s Facochia Bread. Add 8 ounces of grated cheese on top and a salad and you have a meal for four. 5 stars.

-Mama Mary’s 100% Whole Wheat Pizza Crusts. Too dry. Teenage boys won’t eat it. 1 star.

-Boboli Original Pizza Crust. For the money, I prefer mix and bake styles. They taste fresher.

Other things Italian:

-We tried two varieties of Alessi Breadsticks, Grissini Torinesi Rosemary or Garlic. The garlic ones are traditional, a little thicker. (2 stars). The Rosemary ones are very thin, delicious, and wrapped in individual servings, easy to pack in lunches. (5 stars).

-World Classics Artichoke Antipasto. I saved so much on crusts, I couldn’t resist trying this little jar of goodness, even though it was a splurge. I sampled it as a spread on toast (2 stars), with pasta (3 stars), and as a hot artichoke dip mixed with cream cheese and topped with parmesan (5 stars). I recommend it as a hostess gift, too.

Designer pizzas are a fun, inexpensive, easy way to bring your whole family into the warmth of the kitchen on winter nights.

Cathy Primer Krafve, aka Checklist Charlie, lives and writes with a Texas twang. Comments are invited at http://checklistcharlie.blogspot.com.